To tell or not to tell?

[Briswife15 890]

I recently read a post where someone's coworkers were negative about WLS, and it got me wondering if I should tell folks or not. I tend to be open about stuff, and at work we frequently go out for celebrations so it might be obvious if I'm only eating a few bites. What's your take on telling people vs keeping it private?

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[BuzzVSG 252]

I think it all depends on you and how you feel. Me personally, only a select few people in my life I have had the sleeve. I don't think it is anyone's business in my opinion. Everyone and their mother has an opinion and preconceived notions about overweight people and how to lose weight. If you feel comfortable sharing then by all means tell them and educate them that this is not the easy way out and not a walk in the park. Good luck!

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

This is a very personal choice for people. I've read a lot of posts from people who feel it's nobody's business but their own and who choose to keep it secret. I respect that, but I'm the opposite--I tell anybody and everybody, possibly because at my age I don't give a flying crap for somebody else's opinion on what I do with my body, my health issues, etc. Walk a mile in my shoes, with my crappy knees, then tell me what you think! If I was any good at losing weight on my own without surgery, I would not have gotten to be 380, would I?

Basically, for me it comes down to this: the statistics for keeping weight off without the surgery are truly dismal. The surgery isn't a magic bullet, it's a tool we can use to the best of our ability to help with our health. That's worth more to me than someone else's opinion.

[Bryn910 519]

I debated this forever! I decided to tell people. My immediate family was easy, they always support me.

Not was friends/coworkers/distant family I was concerned about. I just told a few coworkers before my surgery because they’d see me doing the pre-op and would be suspicious. They took it well and were very supportive. After surgery, I will only tell people if they inquire about my weight loss/eating habits. So I am not one of those to shout it to the world but I came to my comfort level in not hiding it.

To each their own though cause I hid my VSG surgery (I am VSG to RNY) and it was super hard.

[istytehcrawk 256]

I can understand why people keep quiet about it, but I have told literally EVERYONE (I'm a reporter for the county paper and my hometown paper and wrote a commentary about it after I got back to work -- I can link to it if you'd like). So far, everyone has been supportive.

[Briswife15 890]

Thanks all for your replies and input. I'll probably tell some folks, but we'll see!!

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[Malpraxis 32]

I had no choice, as in my circle they found out even before I underwent surgery, but I'd told them anyway. I mean, I'm sick, and I'm doing something to fix that, it's not exactly double homicide.

I realize that people in areas other than healthcare might be less understanding, but hey, (most) people aren't blind. They'll see the results and the change in your lifestyle. It's better to hear it from you than giving them the chance to gossip.

[Bryn910 519]

1 minute ago, Malpraxis said:

I had no choice, as in my circle they found out even before I underwent surgery, but I'd told them anyway. I mean, I'm sick, and I'm doing something to fix that, it's not exactly double homicide.

I realize that people in areas other than healthcare might be less understanding, but hey, (most) people aren't blind. They'll see the results and the change in your lifestyle. It's better to hear it from you than giving them the chance to gossip.

I have never looked at it as us being sick. This is interesting and I get it.

[Malpraxis 32]

4 minutes ago, Bryn910 said:

I have never looked at it as us being sick. This is interesting and I get it.

It's not only a sickness. It's an epidemic. And the sooner the world sees that, the sooner we'll have to stop having discussions about telling or not.

In fact many governments are contemplating the fact that treating the root cause is actually cheaper in the long run than treating all the complications. We are the last generation where this will be a stigma.

[Bryn910 519]

6 minutes ago, Malpraxis said:

It's not only a sickness. It's an epidemic. And the sooner the world sees that, the sooner we'll have to stop having discussions about telling or not.

In fact many governments are contemplating the fact that treating the root cause is actually cheaper in the long run than treating all the complications. We are the last generation where this will be a stigma.

So, so true.

i work in physical rehabilitation and I have many patients that are obese and I see all the complication that arise from it. Thankfully I have not experienced any pain or major issues associated with my weight but nipping it in the bus feels good. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone for my weight alone.

Now when I tell people about my WLS, I feel good about it, not ashamed.

[Frustr8 7,886]

And the🌏world will be a kinder more forgiving place for all 😝

[sillykitty 10,774]

In my personal life I've been pretty open about it, telling my friends and immediate family. I will tell my extended family if/when they ask. I only have people in my life who are supportive (well, my sister is questionable, lol), so it wasn't a big deal to tell.

Work is entirely different. I have kept it quiet, just told 2 people. One is a good friend, so that was an easy decision. The other is my assistant, I didn't really want to tell her, but we work so closely together I had to tell her something. She has had some health issues lately so I know she'd be worried and bug me to no end if she thought something was seriously wrong with me. Everyone else I've told I've had stomach issues and depending how hard I'm pressed, I've gone into more false detail about it. My company's management would definitely judge me for having WLS, so I don't want it getting out.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

FWIW, I told my husband, my two teen daughters, my two best friends. Didn't tell my mother. Didn't tell my sister. Neither would have been supportive and I didn't need negativity. I'm very private about my medical issues, anyway. At work, I told them I had to have abdominal surgery, would be out for a few days and then back at my desk. (I only have to be in the office 2x week - I work remotely the other days.)

Six weeks after surgery, my mom passed and we had to bury her- which meant big Italian funeral out of town for a week. When people asked about my weight loss, I would say the following - all of which were true:

I am working with a medical team

I eat a very high Protein diet and control my portions

I exercise - a lot - generally 8-10 hours a week.

All of that was completely true. It is what Sister Patrick, my first-grade teacher, would have called a sin of omission. But I was ok with that.

It's really up to you. My sister, with whom I am close, still does not know and never will.

[chellyvillen 21]

6 hours ago, Briswife15 said:

I recently read a post where someone's coworkers were negative about WLS, and it got me wondering if I should tell folks or not. I tend to be open about stuff, and at work we frequently go out for celebrations so it might be obvious if I'm only eating a few bites. What's your take on telling people vs keeping it private?

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I am pre-op and I decided to only tell people who I *knew* were going to be supportive. Ifthere was any uncertainty or potential for someone to try to force their opinions on me, I didn't tell them. I've told a few friends, and my boss, but not my mom...

[Jdesmond73 138]

I only told my Family and a few close friends. At social events when people ask why I am not drinking and am only eating very little, I just tell them that I still have more weight to lose so I am making healthy choices

Edited May 6, 2018 by Desmondo73