I hate it when people post just to post.....

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

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That's EXACTLY what I was trying (and failing) to say!

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Hehehe yeah, well I know what to tell others, but I'm not so good at "hearing" it from myself very well.

Y'know what, Ebony? Maybe it's time for your white suit again. That seemed to make you feel SO strong and SO sure... you can't buy that feeling of empowerment. :thumbup:

I like that idea! Thanks for reminding me that sometimes ya gotta put on your armor...

Ebony, my DH told me that this was a difficult position for him to be in, from the very beginning, he has felt like he was walking a tight rope.

When I began discussing lap band, he said he felt like if he was gung ho behind me, I would take it that he was unhappy with me the way I was. And if he was not supportive enough I might take it, he was against spending the money. Then when I began losing the weight, he was afraid to be super happy for me, because what if I thought he disliked me before, or what if I did gain it back, then I might think he would never find me attractive again. And yet if he was not happy for me, would I think he didn't like me losing weight????

When the weight really began dropping fast in the beginning, and the mood swings hit, he said he was scared to open his mouth sometimes, and all he wanted to do, was be happy for me in the moment.

He has said he loves me however I am. He finds many women attractive of different sizes, and I now notice more a personality type, a confidence, and attitude is more common among them, than size or hair color etc.

He said it is a hard thing to balance.....maybe your man is dealing with some of the same. Especially if you are being a bit insecure with wondering who and what he finds attractive. Many times men don't even KNOW why they find someone attractive, it isn't necessarily the size of their________________fill in your mans blank---it like us is often an emotional pull of some sort. There are men I think are attractive as hell, and in a classic handsome look, they don't fit at all--but something about them.....

I think talking to someone would be a great plan!

I never looked at it that way until Beth and Slim gave me some perspective yesterday...and now you've added the icing on the cake so to speak. The poor guy must be feeling like he's walking a tightrope, and my mood swings aren't helping...I can definately see now that he's trying really hard to handle that balancing act.

yes Ebony, Beth is a wise woman and so is Kat. Her reply made a lot of sense also.

I can't sleep. I am in to much pain. My pain meds aren't helping at all. I wonder if I call the ER and ask if I come back in if I can get an emergency surgery since my arm goes numb more and so do my legs now. I also feel like I have an electrical current shooting through my arm at times. Hurts like a son of a pot licker! It might be the only way to get the surgery I need on my back. Then all I would have to worry about is the surgery on my thyroid. I would rather be in labor right now than this. My first 2 children I had natural and no meds or anything, that didn't hurt like I am now. I am sorry for crying again.

Don't you DARE apologize for expressing your pain...I think you SHOULD call the ER and get some help. I am all for folks taking care of themselves - and your situation DEMANDS immediate intervention. My mom was a nurse for over 30 years, and she told me lots of stories about people who had fallen on hard times for whatever reason, and who postponed needed medical treatment because of money. Please, please, please - go to the ER. Explain your situation if necessary - most hospitals have funds available for patients who can't afford to pay, and I bet they are seeing a lot of that right about now. You are not one of those serial healthcare abusers - you have a REAL NEED and you should get the care you need.

I got my Talbot's bag back!

Yay, Mac! I love Talbot's clothing - I'd be really upset if that had happened to me...I'm so glad you got your bag back! :tongue2:

I really do feel for the partners of people who've had WLS. It must feel like walking a minefield sometimes and no wonder they don't say or do the "right" thing from time to time. Even with the best of intentions, they can often put their foot in their mouths and they must get to the point of thinking "I should just shut up and not say anything - it can't be worse than saying the wrong thing!"

That would definately be my husband...he sometimes struggles with finding the right words anyway - he's not a big talker - so I'm sure this is tough for him, especially since I'm already so sensitive! :thumbup:

As much as I love the man I'm with, he's said a couple of things from time to time that have really hurt. When I stop to examine them, however, I realise that it is my own insecurities that are causing the pain, not his intentions.

You hit the nail on the head, Fanny - I'm right there with ya!

His tendency is towards the "brutal honesty" end of the scale, rather than the "tactful euphemisms" but sometimes even when he is trying to compliment, I can hear a criticism that was not intended. We have to keep remembering that as human beings, we naturally filter every thing that we experience through the sum of our memories and that this will colour what we think we see and hear.

Yep, definately me...I have that 'filter' as well, hear criticisms that are not intended, and too many other things to mention. I heard a speaker say once that we all have an inner voice (he called it a nebbish) that speaks badly about us - in fact, if we had a friend that spoke to us the way WE speak to ourselves, we'd cut that person out of our lives without hesitation.

The challenge is to shut up the nebbish - every time we hear that negative voice, we should say something positive about ourselves, out loud (even if just in a whisper). The way the human mind works, you supposedly cannot THINK a negative thought while SPEAKING something positive. Gradually the positive replaces the negative and the nebbish shuts up.

I'd forgotten that for a while, it does work for me, so I'm going back to doing it again...

Morning everyone.

G4E-I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I hope that you are able to get some relief from somewhere soon.

I pray you are already finding relief, G4E...

Ebony, Beth, Kat, Fanny-you all are some very wise women. I am so happy that I wondered onto this thread so many months ago. I can no longer imagine my life without all of my PJTP friends (I won't list you all, but I do mean all of you).Thanks for being there.:thumbup::wub::thumbup:

Same back atcha, girlfriend! I don't know what I would do without my girls and guys on LBT...probably seriously injure my poor hubby :smile2: :cursing:

Mac-I am so glad that you got your bag! I know that would have been very frustrating not to get it back.

What Slim said!

It's a new day, and I'm feeling much better (the mood swing is in positive-land this morning). My DH won tickets to a concert on Thursday night, and he's told me he likes me in wrap dresses, so I did a little Ebay shopping and came up with a gorgeous on in a leopard print. It's a beautiful fabric that drapes and clings in the right places (thank GOD for Spanx!) and I have a pair of bronze strappy sandals to wear with it. I showed him the dress last night, and he was very appreciative...loved the dress and the shoes.

He told me that the change in my ATTITUDE about me has made me even more attractive to him...that he always loved me, but now he can see that I love ME more and that new level of confidence is even sexier. He is glad I've lost the weight for ME, and in his words "I get the benefit of watching you blossom"...I think I'll keep him!:thumbup:

I've got a special surprise planned for him in Florida - he likes to go out to clubs wherever we vacation, so I've found a black-and-white mini dress (stretchy, very clingy) with bell sleeves and a low-cut neckline that I think he'll appreciate...my intention is to blow him out of the water...and in this dress, I think I'll succeed.

Can't find a picture of it - the auction was too long ago, but I'll try to screw up my courage and get DH to take a pic for me so I can show y'all! :thumbup:

[luluc 6]

WOW! You guys got into some serious discussions yesterday afternoon/evening. I think that Kat beautifuly described the tightrope that our partners gingerly walk. I think we all can reflect on those comments and see some of our experiences.

i know - seriously pjtp conversations.

i think kat/fanny did a great job conveying what likely is going on with (slim/ebony/beth) SO's - but i would still seek therapy for yourselves. think of therapy helping the headstuff while the band deals w/the stomach.....

taps - outside of posting a craigs list "looking for owner" ad, which could bring it's own issues - not sure i can see how you can find the rightful owner.

[Kat817 19]

Don't thank ME tap, it was my frustrated husband who finally layed it out for me one night when I was upset that he had not been as complimentary as I had hoped over a new outfit!!! LOL. And I had bought it, because it was something I thought he had paid special interest in one day before it would have fit me, he never even reacted!!! When I said to him, something about looking at it before, he was truly lost, he says he shows me things hoping something "clicks" and we can get the hell outta Dodge and be done shopping!!! Typical. Now, had we been perusing old greasy motorcycle parts, we could spend all day. But walk into a clothing store, and his time is limited!!! Good thing I have daughters!!

Lu--did you do anything you can tell about for your birthday!!??

[tapshoes 2]

It really is sad...and the locket and its contents are undeniably valuable. I cannot just throw them out, I cannot sell them, and I can't return them. So they sit on my dresser and I fret about rightful ownership, inheritance, and family history.

You know, life must be a lot less worrisome to those who don't care about other people, their feelings, their values and their possessions!:tongue2:

[luluc 6]

Lu--did you do anything you can tell about for your birthday!!??

ha! - all PG :tongue2: well sorta :cursing:

i wanted to go bungee jumping (went sky diving on my 30th - figured do another dare devil act for 40) but hubby said he didn't have enough life insurance out on myself...JK

just spent the day w/hubby & diner - quiet evening:) was nice, thanks for asking.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

It really is sad...and the locket and its contents are undeniably valuable. I cannot just throw them out, I cannot sell them, and I can't return them. So they sit on my dresser and I fret about rightful ownership, inheritance, and family history.

You know, life must be a lot less worrisome to those who don't care about other people, their feelings, their values and their possessions!:cursing:

Hey Tap!

I think you are the coolest for WANTING to find the rightful owner. :thumbup: Are there any inscriptions or such on the locket? Can you tell a time period from the contents? Perhaps if you chase things up the chain of command at Coach (ask to speak to a manager) you can get answers. Tell them that you don't necessarily want the person's contact info, but they would forever be grateful to Coach for helping them find their lost jewelry, etc, etc.

Maybe the store where you purchased it knows something about the former owner? Maybe the store manager could look in their records, tell when it was purchased, what credit card paid for it, etc and contact the person.

If that doesn't work, then try Customer Service at Coach corporate...it's a little thing to them, but I know if I had lost such a precious thing, I'd be wanting it back.

Maybe a human interest story for the newspapers or an internet-based news service? People are losing precious things now because of the economy, and you are trying to RETURN a precious item.

Are there any jeweler's markings on it? Anything like a maker's mark that shows where it was manufactured?

I hope you are able to reunite the locket with it's owner...and again, you are the COOLEST for trying to do so. :tongue2:

[Gone4Now 4]

I SO want to go bungee jumping and skydiving, but I think someone will have to push me once I get up there. I don't think I could jump.

Had some bumps over the weekend with our house. We are having one built, and I'm so disgusted with the builder. The base price was very nice, but NOTHING is included. You want lights? Oh, that's an upgrade.

Really? Lights? There are few little things here and there...The standard options are crappy, so of course people upgrade. I was expecting to put about 15% into the house on the upgrades that I would LOVE to have, and now 1/2 that cost is going to things like LIGHTS.

Geeze.

So, I'm ready to get my earnest money back and say f off, but DH is really set on getting the house. So, I think we're still going full speed ahead with it.

I'll just simmer the next few months, move into my house and then love it for the rest of my life - even if it kills him, er, me...

[*slim* 2]

luluc-I am glad that you enjoyed your birthday. I am also glad that DH talked you out of doing the bungee jump.:tongue2:

[Gone4Now 4]

Funny/weird story - I received a COACH bag as a gift. When I opened it, I found a locket inside. Obviously then, this bag was returned by someone to the store, and the store then resold it. (Maybe there is another explanation, but I can't think of it). Anyway, I tried calling and emailing COACH to explain the situation as I really think whoever lost the locket is probably upset - it is obviously old and has something in it that the owner would want. No one at COACH cared . In fact, it was suggested that I wanted a 'new' bag (I don't, the bag is unmarked and beautiful) or that I was 'fishing for a reward' (I'm not, Im trying to return something to its rightful owner). So short of putting a little notice in every newspaper in the state of California (and I don't even KNOW all the newspapers, OR that the previous owner lived in California) I have NO other ideas. Does anyone???

Morning all!

I would start an email chain...maybe get an email account for responses, since you'll have tons. Put a picture of the locket, but don't describe the contents.

I get the same email chains over and over and over...just start w/your friends, maybe ask them to forward it on...?

Or craig's list - do they have a lost and found?

It is commendable that you're doing that. A lot of folks wouldn't care.

:tongue2:

[*slim* 2]

I SO want to go bungee jumping and skydiving, but I think someone will have to push me once I get up there. I don't think I could jump.

Had some bumps over the weekend with our house. We are having one built, and I'm so disgusted with the builder. The base price was very nice, but NOTHING is included. You want lights? Oh, that's an upgrade.

Are you serious? Lights are considered an upgrade? WTH?

Really? Lights? There are few little things here and there...The standard options are crappy, so of course people upgrade. I was expecting to put about 15% into the house on the upgrades that I would LOVE to have, and now 1/2 that cost is going to things like LIGHTS.

Geeze.

So, I'm ready to get my earnest money back and say f off, but DH is really set on getting the house. So, I think we're still going full speed ahead with it.

I'll just simmer the next few months, move into my house and then love it for the rest of my life - even if it kills him, er, me...

I am so sorry you are going through so much with the house. Hopefully it won't kill him, er you...:tongue2:

[luluc 6]

I SO want to go bungee jumping and skydiving, but I think someone will have to push me once I get up there. I don't think I could jump. ...

when DH and i did our tandem jumps - i went right before him, he said he about threw up watching me roll off & turn into a dot in the sky. i was for sure he wouldn't go through w/it - but he did, think his tandem instructur would have tossed him if not.....

he's not a fan of bungee jumping - doesnt' think they're safe, like jumping out of a perfectly fine plane is...:tongue2:

*chain email - good idea*

[luluc 6]

I am so sorry you are going through so much with the house. Hopefully it won't kill him, er you...:cursing:

no kidding ~

we're just remodeling and there are days i want to bite a hole in my tongue from biting it so hard INSTEAD of smacking DH upside the head w/a paintbrush. did i say that????:tongue2:

[gone 4 ever 6]

Glad you had a good b-day Lulu.

Glou....hopefully it will turn out to be pretty much what you want in the end. I agree it is ridiculous about lights being an upgrade, that's kinda like a car with no engine, the engine would be an upgrade!

I want to thank everyone for your concerns and prayers. I called the ER a few min. ago and I got a recording telling me that they can't discus anything medical over the phone. So asking a question is out. I would have to go there ask and pay the stupid $2.00 parking fee, and the $260.00 ER fee. You are automatically charged $260.00 just for signing your name on the roster. it doesn't mater if you are seen or not. If you get tired of waiting and leave to go to the other hospital you are still charged. But in order to get an answer they tell you that they can't answer that you have to see the Dr. So I guess I will go after work. I have to work today. I get my first paycheck today. Woohoo a whole whopping 15 hrs. Better than nothing. I hired in in between pay periods. SO I will post later and let you know how things are going.

Everyone have a blessed day.

[*slim* 2]

I'm praying for you G4E!

[Gone4Now 4]

Oh, G4E- what a mess! I am keeping you in my thoughts, and wishing the best for you.

re: ER fee - grrr...Bastards.