I hate it when people post just to post.....

[*slim* 2]

slim - you erased your msg again. read it on the treadmill this am, and it's not there now....

sad for your son!

Thanks Luluc. I know that you all get tired of reading about my MIL drama. I typed it all out and got it off my chest, then I deleted again. She is just such a piece of work!:wink2: I could write about her for months!

[luluc 6]

Thanks Luluc. I know that you all get tired of reading about my MIL drama. I typed it all out and got it off my chest, then I deleted again. She is just such a piece of work!:wink2: I could write about her for months!

my mom was a great teacher in how to handle MIL's.

my dad's mom was rotten to her & guess who the only one to take her shopping, get her hair done, blah, blah, blah. my MOM.

barely anyone has much to do w/her - couldn't tell you the last time i saw her......she had no use for me as a kid & i knew it. her mom (great grandma, who she hated) is who i consider my paternal grandmother & miss her daily.

kids are smart / intuitive. not much you can do but vent here & just teach better lessons to your son.

while my MIL is the worlds biggest pain in the ASS, mom helped me deal w/her & the drama that comes along. take no shit, but w/a smile????

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Hi Everyone!

Won't even try to catch up...my head is so weird right now, I'm sure I'll mess it up...but here's what I can remember:

BBK - glad your daughter is feeling better; hope this upward trend continues.

Fanny - awesomely cute pics of the party - love the outfit and the fact that your guy got into the spirit and dressed up too!

Slim - sorry about the MIL drama...hang tough, girlfriend...

Krtork - good for you on the run! I extended my distance today - ran about a 1/4 mile further than previously, then ran all the way back. Felt great - warmed up after about 5 minutes, felt good at the end.

TPG - say hi to our old friend...we do miss him!

:wink2:

LuluC - puppy stuff is fun, just keep telling yourself that when you get to two million No's...:wink2:

Beth - glad hubby is doing well, and I agree with YOU about the in-laws. They can be so trying...I absolutely could not stand my 1st MIL - good thing I didn't have to deal with her for long. My 2nd MIL was a peach - still miss her a ton (she passed away a few years ago - weight related issues).

G4E - glad you were able to check in - I think I'd go crazy without my internet...keep researching - there IS a company out there with a reasonable price for monthly service.

I think I got everyone...

It's been an interesting weekend...Friday night I went to a comedy show with H - he's still not earned his way back to being DH yet - and actually had a good time. We had to wait quite a bit before getting into the venue, so went for soul food nearby. I had two bites of mac-and-cheese, black-eyed peas, and about 3 little cornmeal-battered shrimp and I was full. Had a kid-size ice cream cone a bit later, and didn't feel so bad about that...normally I'd have gotten a large - knew I wouldn't be able to hold it.

The comedy show was hilarious - a female comic and two guys. One of the guys is Huggy Lowdown who works with Tom Joyner - side-splitting hilarious...

Before the show, we were sitting in the parking lot and H wanted to get all cuddly - I wasn't having it. Told him to keep his distance - and for a while he did, but kept trying to convince me it was all okay. :huh2:

He was very attentive throughout the show and afterwards...felt a bit like old times when I was very happy with him and everything...weird. Why now? Would have been really easy to slide back into treating him like nothing happened - but it did! I can't just flip a switch and go back to the way things were - I'm not wired that way. He's been very attentive all weekend, very nice and very cuddly. Makes it tough when I either ignore it or push him away.

I think it was krtork that said he might be feeling like he's useless - no need to defend me or "slay any dragons" on my behalf...maybe that's it - my independence is making him feel threatened. I've often told him if he wanted a clinging vine, I was NOT his girl...guess now I'm showing it more...I dunno :huh2:

Saturday and today were major house-cleaning. I had a fundraiser for my friend that's running for city council this afternoon - so we cleared the decks, polished, dusted, vacuumed, etc until everything was clean and in decent order. Not perfect, just in decent order.

The fundraiser was a success - she raised about $500. DD made chicken croquettes (they ate ALL of them) and strawberry Soup (they ate ALL of it) and I made peach iced tea (crystal light). DD and H are off to see a scary movie and I've got studying to do...BBL!:ohmy:

[*slim* 2]

take no shit, but w/a smile????

Can you teach me?:wink2: Thankfully, DS is not hurting for "grandmas" because I have a couple of aunts that never had children. As far as they are concerned, he is just as much their grandchild as he is my mom's. It just chaps my enormous cheeks that MIL treats my son this way and then expects me to want to do things for her. That's just bulls**t!

Before the show, we were sitting in the parking lot and H wanted to get all cuddly - I wasn't having it. Told him to keep his distance - and for a while he did, but kept trying to convince me it was all okay. :ohmy:

He was very attentive throughout the show and afterwards...felt a bit like old times when I was very happy with him and everything...weird. Why now? Would have been really easy to slide back into treating him like nothing happened - but it did! I can't just flip a switch and go back to the way things were - I'm not wired that way. He's been very attentive all weekend, very nice and very cuddly. Makes it tough when I either ignore it or push him away.

I think it was krtork that said he might be feeling like he's useless - no need to defend me or "slay any dragons" on my behalf...maybe that's it - my independence is making him feel threatened. I've often told him if he wanted a clinging vine, I was NOT his girl...guess now I'm showing it more...I dunno

Men are strange beings. It is very funny how once they decide things are supposed to be ok, we are just to fall in line. I can understand your being wary of the situation right now. Take your time and continue to think things through. We have your back girlfriend.:wink2:

[luluc 6]

Can you teach me?

fine line of standing your ground & not being disresptful (latter took a long time). big key - Hubby had to step up and deal or i was, and it wasn't going to be as kind.

it's his relationship to own - not mine.

ebony - take it nice/slow; actions/behaviours beat any words in MO.

Edited August 30, 2009 by luluc
spelling issues -

[Kat817 19]

Slim I have been angry with my MIL over a certain issue for several years....it is minor in the overall view of things, but to me it constitutes an entire lack of respect. Something I have always given her.

She insists on misspelling my name....using a C rather than a K. She is EXTREMELY (I seriously should have enlarged my entire font for that---I mean EXTREEEEEEEMLEY) passive aggressive. I have always thought, and continue to this day feel she does it knowingly. She whines about my BIL's niece who misspells his name on Christmas cards....and ignores everyone telling her she does the same to mine. Rick and my DIL have each told her repeatedly. It does not matter, birthday, Christmas, any other issue, any check she writes to repay us for something she writes it with a C.

This year my DIL told me a few days before my birthday, that this year is should be right, that she had just reminded her. Well guess what.....the card has my name spelled with a C--so I put it aside, and refused to open it! Well there was a lot of confusionand chaos at dinner that night, and lots of cards going around etc. I told my DH "here do what you want with this, I am guessing there is a check in it (ended up being a gift card) but I am not opening it, it is not to me". He was a little put out--with both of us!! So he opens it up, finds the gift card, and on the card it says the amount. Now THIS part does not bother me at all---THIS part bothers DH!! The amount was half of what she normally has done for years--and the week before was my BIL's bday, and she ask my DH to get him a gift card to Home Depot---his favorite place---for $50.00, and he did, and she repaid him right away, no problem. Well he is mad because she is not treating me the same as everyone else---and I am the one to do for her. I could care less about the amount, it could be for hundreds, and the point I am making is it is not TO ME! It is to someone who spells her name with a C!!

So DH wanted to talk to her, and I refused, and made him promise to leave it alone. Well she ask him if I opened my card, because I did not thank her. He sidestepped the question......

So another of my little pet peeves with her is money, in a different way. She is not one to borrow anything---and is VERY tight fisted---if we buy something for her, she will figure the tax etc, and write us a check for the exact amount. Where as my Mom and I often have something owed to one another, and figure it balances out, and if I spend 4 bucks on something, she will give me a $5 and call it good. Not so his Mom. So if we happen to buy something and she doesn't get to pay us---she mails us a check. We live 5 miles apart, and see them every few days! The kicker to that is---she will deduct the amount the postage costs her----or send it postage due! I promise!!!

So.....I want to respond to her card with a thank you by mail (I WILL pay the postage!) and spell her name wrong. I SOOOO want to! I won't--because she is old, and honestly has a loving heart, just a wierd one!! I do not want to hurt her, but I really would like to shake her a little and tell her off on occasion!!! LMAO

So Slim.......vent away, hearing your issues, makes me feel less upset about my own!! I tell myself, I could be much worse!!

Ebony----hang in there girl, you had your world rocked, and he deserves to have to right it for you---and a quick roll is not gonna do it!

DH ended up having to work today---so I went into town and took he and the 2 guys he called in, lunch. I HATE when his weekends work out like this. Tomorrow we go back to another week, and we hardly got to spend any time together it seems.....grrrrrrr

[krtork 0]

in new puppy mode - she ate my notebook power cord yesterday & have said NO about a million times.

she still rocks & puppy breath beats any candy:)

Puppy breath rocks! You are so lucky and she is such a little cutie! Throw down as many chew toys as you can and pray!:wink2:

Thanks Luluc. I know that you all get tired of reading about my MIL drama. I typed it all out and got it off my chest, then I deleted again. She is just such a piece of work! I could write about her for months!

So sorry that your MIL is such a pain. I am lucky, mine lives in WI and we are in OR. They don't have much to do with DH, in fact they did not come to our wedding, so we don't have to deal with them very often. When or if they do call, DH is in a mood the rest of the day!

my mom was a great teacher in how to handle MIL's. my dad's mom was rotten to her & guess who the only one to take her shopping, get her hair done, blah, blah, blah. my MOM.

kids are smart / intuitive. not much you can do but vent here & just teach better lessons to your son.

while my MIL is the worlds biggest pain in the ASS, mom helped me deal w/her & the drama that comes along. take no shit, but w/a smile????

Very solid advice!

Hi Everyone! :wink2:

Won't even try to catch up...my head is so weird right now, I'm sure I'll mess it up...but here's what I can remember:

Krtork - good for you on the run! I extended my distance today - ran about a 1/4 mile further than previously, then ran all the way back. Felt great - warmed up after about 5 minutes, felt good at the end.

Thanks! You are moving along nicely! WTG!

It's been an interesting weekend...Friday night I went to a comedy show with H - he's still not earned his way back to being DH yet - and actually had a good time.

Before the show, we were sitting in the parking lot and H wanted to get all cuddly - I wasn't having it. Told him to keep his distance - and for a while he did, but kept trying to convince me it was all okay. :huh2:

Good for you for standing your ground! MEN!

He was very attentive throughout the show and afterwards...felt a bit like old times when I was very happy with him and everything...weird. Why now? Would have been really easy to slide back into treating him like nothing happened - but it did! I can't just flip a switch and go back to the way things were - I'm not wired that way. He's been very attentive all weekend, very nice and very cuddly. Makes it tough when I either ignore it or push him away.

He is just trying to make up for what he said.

I think it was krtork that said he might be feeling like he's useless - no need to defend me or "slay any dragons" on my behalf...maybe that's it - my independence is making him feel threatened. I've often told him if he wanted a clinging vine, I was NOT his girl...guess now I'm showing it more...I dunno :huh2:

Wasn't me, can't remember who said that, but it does make a ton of sense!

The fundraiser was a success - she raised about $500. DD made chicken croquettes (they ate ALL of them) and strawberry Soup (they ate ALL of it) and I made peach iced tea (crystal light). DD and H are off to see a scary movie and I've got studying to do...BBL!:ohmy:

Glad the fundraiser was a success and DD food was a huge hit!

fine line of standing your ground & not being disresptful (latter took a long time). big key - Hubby had to step up and deal or i was, and it wasn't going to be as kind.

it's his relationship to own - not mine.

ebony - take it nice/slow; actions/behaviours beat any words in MO.

Lu~ Great advice as always!

PJTP: I am cooking right now. Making some Breakfast bites (mini-quiches) that I can grab in the mornings before work. They smell great! Hope they taste as good.

[luluc 6]

Puppy breath rocks! You are so lucky and she is such a little cutie! Throw down as many chew toys as you can and pray!.

LOVE puppy breath - my crack:)

she's already a trip!

slim, i forgot one thing DH told me a few yrs back that changed the course of how we deal w/MIL and FIL ( i should say FIL is just a miserable man).

he told me, she will never love me - might grow to like, so i should quit trying so hard. so i did, i mean i had them over every wkend, cooked (MIL even showed up w/her own tupperware for leftovers). but they are users, and don't value the adult choices of their adult children - so therefore both their adult children have chosen to limit their time w/their parents.

10+yrs together, kat - never ; ever got a card for b day - guarantee they have no idea when it is.

[BethFromVA 5]

Morning everyone! I hope that everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

****rant alert****

I really hate my MIL. GRRRRRR

***end rant***

Did I miss something good -- er, bad?

[BethFromVA 5]

Thanks Luluc. I know that you all get tired of reading about my MIL drama.

Not me. I have my own self-serving reasons for wanting to read about her. That way I don't feel alone.

[ThePoolGirl 1]

Freaking computer just ate my post :ohmy:. So, here goes again: Sounds like everyone is having a rough weekend. Sorry! Yay for kids coming home from the hospital, puppy breath, and Fanny's g'kids!! Wish I had some great advice on the in-law issues. Sorry, no experience there.

I've been dealing with a stomach ache that I've had since Fri. night. We had to postpone celebrating my dad's real b'day. I dunno what's wrong. I think I'm somewhat better now though. Maybe I just needed a day in bed. :wink2:

Hope you all are hanging in there and that Monday brings you some peace.

TGP

[*slim* 2]

fine line of standing your ground & not being disresptful (latter took a long time). big key - Hubby had to step up and deal or i was, and it wasn't going to be as kind.

it's his relationship to own - not mine.

ebony - take it nice/slow; actions/behaviours beat any words in MO.

I have tried to stay out of the situation, but I refuse to when it affects my son. He doesn't deserve the crap.

Slim I have been angry with my MIL over a certain issue for several years....it is minor in the overall view of things, but to me it constitutes an entire lack of respect. Something I have always given her.

That is a problem. Then again, I am not sure MIL even knows how to spell my name (wrong or otherwise). She has never wished given me a card or called to wish me happy birthday. Heck, she doesn't call to wish DS happy birthday either. Once, she came here to give DS a card. She stuck it in the door and left. We were here!

Did I miss something good -- er, bad?

I posted about MIL and deleted it. She is just such a b*tch. She went out of town to see SIL and SD. Mostly to be with SD (step daughter). They spent quite a bit of time together shopping and things. She doesn't call my son. When she calls here asking for something, she doesn't ask about DS. She called on her way home from out of town to announce that she was bringing SD back with her. We knew that it was really she was announcing that she was bringing SD to us. DH decided that he wasn't going to stand for it. He was talking to me about it and asked if it bothered me. I wasn't really responding. At first I told him that I wasn't going to say anything since we can't really talk about his mom. He kept after me until I finally told him that although I was upset about her just assuming it was ok to bring SD here to us, the part that bothered me the most was that she was doing all of this for SD, but can't be bothered with DS. It's just wrong. DS felt so bad because he knew that his sister was here to be with his grandmother. He knew (because SD to told him in great detail) all about the shopping that they did all last week. He knew about the football game and parade that they went to together. He knew all about the "fun" things that MIL planned for SD while she was here. The same woman that begs for dishwashing liquid from me, has money to do all of these things with SD but can't call DS?:wink2: I just don't get it. He sees it. He is hurt by it. DH has been thinking over it. He mentioned it again to me, but DS walked up. I don't know what, if anyting, DH will say to his mom. I just couldn't sit back and not say anything about how she treats my son.

So sorry that your MIL is such a pain. I am lucky, mine lives in WI and we are in OR. They don't have much to do with DH, in fact they did not come to our wedding, so we don't have to deal with them very often. When or if they do call, DH is in a mood the rest of the day!

DH gets upset, but then "forgets" that he claimed he wasn't going to do it anymore. He has slowly been cutting her off on some of the things. He stopped buying her cigs. He stopped giving her some of his. Now if he would just stop it all. Maybe she would move.

LOVE puppy breath - my crack:)

she's already a trip!

slim, i forgot one thing DH told me a few yrs back that changed the course of how we deal w/MIL and FIL ( i should say FIL is just a miserable man).

he told me, she will never love me - might grow to like, so i should quit trying so hard. so i did, i mean i had them over every wkend, cooked (MIL even showed up w/her own tupperware for leftovers). but they are users, and don't value the adult choices of their adult children - so therefore both their adult children have chosen to limit their time w/their parents.

10+yrs together, kat - never ; ever got a card for b day - guarantee they have no idea when it is.

I used to be that way when DS was first born. It didn't take long for me to get the hint. She would call me to tell all about the things she was doing for SD and her mom, but would see me struggling. I will never forget when DH was still living with his mom. He asked to have DS spend the night. Well, his mom had asked for SD. When his mom saw that DS was there, she had DH send DS back home because SHE wanted SD. She has always made a difference between them. She only acted like she wanted to have something to do with DS when SD first moved out of town. By then, it was too late. DS was no longer hungering for her attention. It's a shame when child makes excuses for an adult in their life. He does that with her.

Not me. I have my own self-serving reasons for wanting to read about her. That way I don't feel alone. :ohmy:

You are not alone.

[*slim* 2]

I've been dealing with a stomach ache that I've had since Fri. night. We had to postpone celebrating my dad's real b'day. I dunno what's wrong. I think I'm somewhat better now though. Maybe I just needed a day in bed. :ohmy:

Hope you all are hanging in there and that Monday brings you some peace. :wink2:

TGP

I hope you feel better soon. Hopefully Monday will bring us all some peace. I will at least have a day off. Alone. No husband. No child. Just me. Can you tell I am excited?

[BethFromVA 5]

I posted about MIL and deleted it. She is just such a b*tch. She went out of town to see SIL and SD. Mostly to be with SD (step daughter). They spent quite a bit of time together shopping and things. She doesn't call my son. When she calls here asking for something, she doesn't ask about DS. She called on her way home from out of town to announce that she was bringing SD back with her. We knew that it was really she was announcing that she was bringing SD to us. DH decided that he wasn't going to stand for it. He was talking to me about it and asked if it bothered me. I wasn't really responding. At first I told him that I wasn't going to say anything since we can't really talk about his mom. He kept after me until I finally told him that although I was upset about her just assuming it was ok to bring SD here to us, the part that bothered me the most was that she was doing all of this for SD, but can't be bothered with DS. It's just wrong. DS felt so bad because he knew that his sister was here to be with his grandmother. He knew (because SD to told him in great detail) all about the shopping that they did all last week. He knew about the football game and parade that they went to together. He knew all about the "fun" things that MIL planned for SD while she was here. The same woman that begs for dishwashing liquid from me, has money to do all of these things with SD but can't call DS? I just don't get it. He sees it. He is hurt by it. DH has been thinking over it. He mentioned it again to me, but DS walked up. I don't know what, if anyting, DH will say to his mom. I just couldn't sit back and not say anything about how she treats my son.

Oh holy hell... as you're telling me this, I'm thinking in my head, "Isn't this the same b*tch that borrows all manner of stuff from y'all?? And she can take SD SHOPPING??"

Lordy, Slim, I think I needs to come-a down there. Show her the err of her ways. :wink2:

[ThePoolGirl 1]

I suggest the Old MIL Hex...we can prolly find some eye of newt on eBay. I used the last of mine on a doctor hex just last week...