I hate it when people post just to post.....

[plain 12]

LOL, KC -

I really just don't get it! I've seen folks attack and be attacked SEVERAL times on this thread and I've NEVER seen the mods smack down so quickly as they have the last few weeks.

Even Pinky got smacked down, and she was FUN. lol.

So, in all honesty - can any mod answer me? Why so many smack downs and bannings on folks these days?

Glouc, a lot goes on behind the scenes, with PM's and such. Nobody is ever banned (except for blatant spam posts) without debate amongst the mods and several PMs with the person in question. PM me if you want. I won't say too much in the public part.

[Kat817 19]

Hey all-

What a crappy day at work. Glad it is over!

DD met with a legal advisor today, and took the DGD to the pediatrician. The pediatrician, did not do a major exam, said nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, and the damage was external only, gave her some cream suggestions for it. And I passed on the idea of the pad in her clothes with the life jacket--that is an excellent idea!!

This legal advisor of hers was with legal aid when she divorced him, and they advised her as to what forms, and where to take them, and got the courts to forego the filing fees on things.

She told DD there is not a form for reducing her visitation, she can try to amend the current visitation, and word it her own way, and see if it will fly with the courts, but she doubts it, and feels they will send them through mediation again.

She said she is shown as a custodial parent, and he has visitation, it is not shared custody. So that is in her favor.

She did give her the papers for the non payment of CS.

My DD has increased her income, and his has decreased. She had been willingly taking about $150.00 less a month from him while acknowledging the changes in incomes. She said that too will likely be sent with them to mediation, put through the formula, and a new amount settled upon, and since it is less than a years worth, they will likely allow him to add a set amount to each month until the arrears are paid off.

DD said she would have her stuff filled out and filed within this week.

She said until they get things worked out, she will not meet him alone, and will ALWAYS keep in mind that should he try to take off with her, she needs to be prepared.

He said today he was going to get back to himself....whatever that means!! He used to not drink, and their big arguement, was he was adament about having her baptized in his church, and my DD was just as adament he not!

So.....she told him she had taken legal steps to assure this will never happen again, he was unhappy about that, but not so much about having his visitation changed, as the CS issue. He just bought a new house, and cannot afford it....too bad! Time for him or gf to get a 2nd job I guess. CS was due before the house was bought.

She said the gf has 2 daughters, and she thinks having hers there causes a lot of stress, so he is not fighting too hard over the visitation.

He apologized about the car seat and the strap burns again, like it helped. Although acknowledging it is a step for him.

Well off to the hot tub for a soak......stress relief is called for.

Thanks for the moral support----y'all are the best!

[*susan* 1,709]

I will not, nor should our staff discuss with any member of the forum the reason behind our banning someone. As Plain said, this is something the staff discusses behind the scenes and makes decisions on. Very, very often, I also consult with Alex to make sure he agrees if it is a particular tricky situation.

LBT has certain rules. One of the biggest ones we stress is to attack the idea, not the person. When people are unable to follow those rules, then we have to take action. We cannot allow a person to get away with this simply because they have a group of followers who find he/she amusing. Especially because there is usually an even larger group of followers who are not amused.

Being a moderator of a large forum is not always an easy job. You don't see us keeping the forums clean of spam, because that happens behind the scenes. You don't see the nasty pm's we have to deal with from people are mad at us for making whatever decisions we deem necessary. You don't know how frustrating it is to deal with a situation and then see it further inflamed by members who feel the need to then start a thread specifically for the purpose of adding more fuel to a fire that we had hoped to put out.

The bottom line is, this is a support forum for weight loss and the band. It is a place where people should feel safe to discuss their issues without fear of being attacked or ridiculed. If someone crosses the line on too many occasions, then our team will address it and deem what appropriate action needs to be taken in order to continue to keep this a place of support.

[heartfire 4]

never had a dog that liked DH's shoes - mine must be sprinkled w/doggie crack.

YIKES! It's b/c the new baby loves you bestest!!

Thanks heart. Now if we could just get the 2010 get-together planning starting, I have to submit my holidays for next year soon!

I've been trying! No one is saying anything! Well, except for Ebony. One of her sugestians was the last weekend of June. Beth will be finishing up her semester in June but she hasn't said yet if she'd be done by then.

But, then I'm a trouble maker...:party:

And this would be news to whom???? LOL! :biggrin:

Hey all-

What a crappy day at work. Glad it is over!

Thanks for the moral support----y'all are the best!

Sorry you had a crappy day!

Sounds like DD has or is getting all of her ducks in a row.

Anytime!

[heartfire 4]

I will not, nor should our staff discuss with any member of the forum the reason behind our banning someone.

Thank you, Susan.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Tho I've not ever been a moderator I do know that a lot happens behind the scenes that we all have NO idea about.

I do appreciate what all of you do and especially Alex for even starting this forum in the first place. It's been a huge support and font of information, good and bad, for me and I would miss it if it weren't here or, God-forbid, I was banned!

Hope you have a great night!

Oh and you need to pop in here more often! I miss you when you're gone!

[*susan* 1,709]

Thanks, Michelle. But, alas, I am not too popular in here right now.

[plain 12]

Thanks, Michelle. But, alas, I am not too popular in here right now.

Maybe you should put on yer "dancin' shoes" and wow everybody with a big musical theater-style production? It always works for me.

[*susan* 1,709]

Ha ha, thanks for the advice, Plain, I might give it a shot.

[Kat817 19]

Yeah, THAT'S what you do that we like Plain, mmhmm, sure, you betcha!

[Brandy~ 2]

Cant we all just get along?

makes me wanna blend up a big mac.

[kcmagu 3]

?anybody want some shrooms?

[Brandy~ 2]

Are those the ones in Lu's field? No patties please.

[*slim* 2]

Evening everyone! I am up getting ready for work. Well, I am up & sitting here on LBT supposed to be getting ready for work.

Kat-I am so sorry that you had a bad day at work. I am glad that DD got the ball rolling on that SOB of an ex she has. I am pulling for things to work out in her favor.

re 2010 get together-I am good for any week next summer as long as I know by the time we start our vacation pick at the end of October.

Luluc-I think heartfire hit the nail on the head. Your scent is all over your shoes. The new puppy is just letting you know how much he loves you by eating your shoes. :wub:

Ebony-I am so sorry about the job situation. Hopefully something will come through for you soon.

Beth & krtork-how was school?

Congrats on the scale victory Beth! :biggrin:

I know that I have missed some. I am truly sorry!

Just thought I would say this again... Welcome back Tap!:party::w00t:

Glouc, Mac, Susan, Plain, SMS, KC, BBK, Hearfire, Brandy, SNT, and every other name that I KNOW that I am forgetting, HI! (If I left out a name in this post, please know that I am just tired and forgetful, it is not that I don't care )

[Gone4Now 4]

I will not, nor should our staff discuss with any member of the forum the reason behind our banning someone.

I disagree, to a point. I certainly get why LBT doesn't share all the details, but I don't understand why a simple explanation is uncalled for, or perhaps moving and introductory thread to R&R where far worse things have been said by members are very much still active here.

By closing communication down to the rest of us, "the staff" could just go banning anyone you like for whatever reasons you like - whether it's personal or if you just are just collectively having a bad day. (I understand that "the staff" are several different people, but I've seen cliques before, and I'm not above believing that LBT could possibly be ruled by one.)

When *we* see banning done with snide, little smack downs and last words being tossed out there, to me it's heavy handed and very unprivate. If you're banning someone - fine - but don't make a point to have a last word then close the thread leaving others unable to respond or defend themselves publicly.

As Plain said, this is something the staff discusses behind the scenes and makes decisions on. Very, very often, I also consult with Alex to make sure he agrees if it is a particular tricky situation.

LBT has certain rules. One of the biggest ones we stress is to attack the idea, not the person. When people are unable to follow those rules, then we have to take action. We cannot allow a person to get away with this simply because they have a group of followers who find he/she amusing. Especially because there is usually an even larger group of followers who are not amused.

Again, why have current active members here who have done FAR WORSE (in the opinion of some) and ban others who are trying to have a laugh? I didn't always agree w/HH, but I am adult enough not to follow him around and bait him.

Being a moderator of a large forum is not always an easy job. You don't see us keeping the forums clean of spam, because that happens behind the scenes.

You don't see the nasty pm's we have to deal with from people are mad at us for making whatever decisions we deem necessary. You don't know how frustrating it is to deal with a situation and then see it further inflamed by members who feel the need to then start a thread specifically for the purpose of adding more fuel to a fire that we had hoped to put out.

Yeah, those pesky members who disagree...how dare we.

The bottom line is, this is a support forum for weight loss and the band.

Then kill the R&R...kill the threads that don't deal w/band/weight loss.

That's the stance? It's just weight loss and band - anything else just annoys the mods? Why be a mod if you're so put out by it?

It is a place where people should feel safe to discuss their issues without fear of being attacked or ridiculed.

Right...like getting a smack down or sent to the principals office for disagreeing. I guess I'll feel safer if I just stick to the topics at hand... Go about my daily life not knowing how hard others toil to make LBT a safe place.

If someone crosses the line on too many occasions, then our team will address it and deem what appropriate action needs to be taken in order to continue to keep this a place of support.

I get that, I do...but why not have a little information for those of us left wondering?

This has been a cyber "home" to me for the last 2 years. I can remember taking some time off last year when I was switching jobs, but for the most part I have come here every day. I'm not a mod, but that doesn't make this place less to me than it is to you.

There are folks I've "met" online here that I feel closer to than folks I've known since high school.

There are some I don't care for...others I don't know that well, but the ones that I "see" daily and then are gone, upset me and bother me. Alex has done a great job at creating a family-type environment, but the backfire is that people like me want to know why their friends are gone.

This is not a private PM bitch-fest, and I'm sorry that any mod goes through that. I was openly asking a question that I feel I deserves a response - what rule did Carlene break? In 16 posts, I didn't see any, other than really bad taste.

If folks who have issues can't PM their Mods, and they can't open new threads, then what do we do? Drink the Kool-Aid and smile?

[heartfire 4]

Thanks, Michelle. But, alas, I am not too popular in here right now.

Oh I know, I know! (per my 3 yr old DD) That "sending chocolate" thing works both ways! LOL!

I hope that I didn't make your day worse. I did have questions and just decided to pose them to you. Wasn't really sure you'd be able to answer them. I was also trying over and over again to phrase it so you wouldn't think I was being snarky.

Whew! Sometimes it's hard to "talk" online!!! No facial expressions, voice tones/infections and no waving of the hands and arms! :biggrin:

Okay, off to tuck DD in to bed! BBL!