I hate it when people post just to post.....

[babygrl1234 6]

Well crap I would go to bed that early if I didn't have kids =) I guess I am almost 30 and such.

[*slim* 2]

Well, I would go to bed that early if I wasn't still at work. I am old at heart since I do go to bed early most nights (around 9pm). Also, I think one should always end one relationship before embarking on another IMO. I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and it hurts. If that makes me old fashioned...oh well.

[babygrl1234 6]

Ugh I have the worst headache ever.

[plain 12]

Well, I would go to bed that early if I wasn't still at work. I am old at heart since I do go to bed early most nights (around 9pm). Also, I think one should always end one relationship before embarking on another IMO. I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and it hurts. If that makes me old fashioned...oh well.

Slim, you sound like my wife......."You shouldn't be seeing a stripper, blah blah blah". What is her problem? :tt1:

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Ugh I have the worst headache ever.

Me too....

[Gone4Now 4]

You know...I came home last night around 5ish, and had to FIGHT the urge to take a nap!!! What does THAT tell ya?

A group of ladies in my area of work were getting really bad headaches and eye-stinging. Each of us just thought it was the pollen, but when we all started talking about it, realized it was dirty/dusty vents at work. They fixed it and today is fine.

Newfs are great!

Kat - right on with how the son sees it. I think if they're in different rooms and are called "roommates" then no biggie. Call it what it is and be friends, not bf/gf. But, I definitely am a fan of definitions and things must be defined between each member of the house, including the younguns.

I'm not really married - but DD and DH get along like we're family and he puts her first in all things. He even has that "dad sigh" when she wants to go the mall or do something that will cost money. :tt1: So, it's a clear relationship and I *hope* I haven't confused her. If anything, I can see her never getting married, or waiting a long time like I have done.

And, finally good morning everyone! :w00t:

[babygrl1234 6]

I just chased my tylenol with a butterfinger. Boy do I love headaches and PMS.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

PJTP - DH (really not the "H" part, but we mostly are...) and I just got our first joint banking account.

I'm a bit nervous. Not that I don't trust him, but it's just DIFFERENT.

I've been the "financial" head-of-household before...especially while DH was still on active duty with the U.S. Navy. I handled all the finances, because, well, he could be unavailable for months at a time due to deployments. It was really a big issue for me - I felt so honored that he trusted me with his money, :w00t: especially since his ex-wife didn't do a very good job of handling things when he was deployed while they were married. :tt1: You know - once bit, twice shy? He never hesitated...and I've made it my personal mission to make sure he never regretted the decision.

Now that he's retired, I gave it back to him - he handles "family" finances, and I have an account of my own that I use for designated stuff...shopping, the business I used to run, our daughter's college fund, etc...

I have complete control of all the finances in our house. My DH trusts me implicitly and doesn't even ask.

This is a big deal...so many couples I've talked to don't have joint accounts, or don't seem to be able to integrate their finances...it speaks well of your DH and of you!

[*susan* 1,709]

Well, sounds like his plan is working.

That sounds just like my dad and hubby!

Lordy I don't even have enough time to get the laundry done let alone put creases in things! I am lucky that I work for a jean designer so I get to wear casual everyday and hubby is IT admin for a business that is all casual too :w00t:

Saves me lots o work.

I am officially jealous. I would love to wear jeans to work every day. Talk about my dream job!

Also, I think one should always end one relationship before embarking on another IMO. I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and it hurts. If that makes me old fashioned...oh well.

My first marriage ended due to him cheating on me a lot, with the final person being my best friend. This is hitting really close to home right now, I have to be honest. I found out that eight years ago, when he was in Texas for his son's graduation from boot camp, my husband had sex with his ex-wife one time. I know, it was eight years ago, but to me, it feels like it was yesterday. These past few weeks have been really rough on me. His ex actually brought it all up about 2 months ago. I had kind of thought something happened, but hubby denied it and I buried it. But, it ate at me for eight years in the back of my mind. Then, she brought it all up 2 months ago and I confronted him again and he became very angry and denied it. In my heart, I knew it was true. I decided I couldn't live with it anymore, opened a savings account to save money to leave and started distancing myself from him.

During that time, I "met" someone online. We never met in person, but did talk on the phone a couple of times. Most of our conversations took place on line and were not inappropriate. He is very religious, I am someone who questions my faith in God and turned my back on him because I was angry at him. He was helping me with this. He confessed to falling in love with me, even though it went against everything he believed in. I developed a huge emotional connection to him.

Last Thursday, the proverbial "shit" hit the fan. Hubby wanted to know why I was pulling away from him. I confronted him about Texas again, he denied again and again. I finally just screamed at him that for once and for all I just wanted the truth. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I f***ed my ex wife in Texas". I was devastated. He was crying and begging me not to leave him. He told me she basically blackmailed him into it. I refused to believe him. He said he hated every minute of it and thought only of me. Again, I refused to believe him. I was angry and also said something very nasty to my online "friend" and have not heard from him since, which I realize now is the best thing for me. I also had to deal with his ex and one of his daughters calling me all day Friday gloating about it.

Friday night, hubby and I stayed up until 4:00 am. We talked, I screamed, cried, and maybe smacked him once. :tt1: He did everything right. He accepted responsibility, he answered my every question, he allowed me to express whatever emotion I needed to. I do know his ex-wife is very manipulative and has a strange hold on his kids. To them, everything she says is gospel. And if she tells them to do something, even though they are adults now, they believe her and do it. My husband was upset because he only had one day left with his son before he shipped out for three years. She threatened him and told him if he didn't sleep with her, she would tell his son things about him and make him not want to spend that final day with him. She also threatened him with never being able to see his other children again. He said he had a couple of beers, his judgement wasn't best, he was scared of losing his son and believed she could do that, so he complied.

He insisted he hated every minute of it and was terrified of telling me because he knew it would end our marriage. I could see the pain in this man's face. While still confused and feeling he could have made a different choice, I believe he truly does love me and regret what he did. I have never seem him cry, but he has cried so many tears this past week over the pain he has caused me. Then, on Saturday, his other daughter called me. She told me even though we have never gotten along, she felt awful about what happened. She wanted me to know when her mother returned from Texas, she was actually bragging about how she convinced my husband that she would make it to where he would never see his kids again if he didn't sleep with her, so he did. She didn't even care that she was also married at the time. So, that helped me with believing him. Then, for some reason his ex felt the need to call me and gloat some more. She said as usual she won and she was going to succeed in ending our marriage. I told her it wasn't a freaking game for someone to win or lose, it was our lives and our marriage. But, if she wanted to make it a game, then she loses, because Lee has always chosen me, I am the one he is with and wants to be with, not her. She then got mad at me. Sorry, if this is a bit graphic. But, she went on to tell me she felt sorry for me because he couldn't even "keep it up" and she had to finish herself off. I took great pleasure in telling her that has never been a problem with him and I and viagra will not be making any profits from my husband. When I hung up I asked Lee if it was true and why he hadn't told me that. He said it was true, and it was because he didn't want to be with her, loved me and could only think of me. He said she ended up going to the other bed and masturbating to "finish herself off" and he was thouroughly disgusted and went in the bathroom and locked the door until she left. He hadn't told me because he didn't figure I would believe him.

I know a few of you are not on Facebook and had asked why I had been having such a tough week. Now, you know. It has been rough. But, while I still miss my "online" friend, I know it is not good for me and I have to continue to have no contact with him. I have ten years invested in my marriage and I do truly believe that my husband loves me with all his heart. I see the pain in his face from what he did to me, but I also see the love there. He has been doing everything right to help me get through this. We are in the healing process now, and I think we are going to be okay and our marriage may be even stronger as a result. We no longer have this "lie" between us and it is a relief to both of us. He also knows about my friend and is very understanding of that as well.

Originally, my mother was going to go with me next week when I go for my revision surgery in Mexico. But, my husband now says he wants to be the one there with me by my side. I believe having five days with just the two of us will do us good.

Whew, that was long, sorry. I just wanted everyone to see, there can sometimes be a bit of a different spin on someone who makes a "mistake" while being in a committed relationship.

[Brandy~ 2]

took 5yrs of marriage before we did that......still have our own separate accts:blush: i never felt so vulnerable......LOL

We were together for almost 10 years and just got married LOL we still don't have joint accounts. I write him checks to deposit in his account since he pays all the bills. He doesn't ever ask whats in mine So I just skim the checks I give him here and there if there's something I wanna get him as a suprise or if I want. But the great part is he pays all the bills.. I wouldn't know who to pay if something were to happen to him :w00t:

btw i didnt gain weight i added some lbs to my ticker im going for 135

I am still 21lbs from goal and considering adding more to mine too... But I don't want to cause it might look like I gained some lol

I just chased my tylenol with a butterfinger. Boy do I love headaches and PMS.

Yesterday I chased mine with peanut M&M's :tt1:

[Gone4Now 4]

Susan, you have it so tough. I've been down the ex-wife path and it's not fun. It sounds like she just needs a hunting trip with Dick Cheney. What a waste of skin, breath and natural resources.

Good luck with the one daughter...sounds like she may be seeing the truth. How old are their kids?

DH sounds like he was denying stuff to protect you. While his judgement 8 years ago wasn't very good, it seems like the two of you can work through this. I wish you the very best!

[Brandy~ 2]

The visual of a bullie in a life jacket is SO cute. Pls take a pic for us!!!

Here SNT. I posted it yesterday too.. This is my baby.

[Gone4Now 4]

But the great part is he pays all the bills.. I wouldn't know who to pay if something were to happen to him :tt1:

When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother didn't even know where the bills were kept, or the checks, who the bank was - nothing. And my mom had to go and do her bills for her.

I was 14-15 at the time and I KNEW I'd never be in that position.

I'm not great with money. I had some and lost it, and now I'm paycheck to paycheck until I can get back up there. DH knows all of that, and I know his financial history. He has a crazy ex-wife who stayed home from work and ran up bills on the Home Shopping Channel, opened credit cards in "their" name and after the divorce, he got stuck with the bills.

[babygrl1234 6]

Wow Susan that is a lot to take in girl.

If both of you want to fix this and both of you want to get over it there is no reason why it can't happen. It will be hard sometimes and it will hurt sometimes but in the end it could be worth it.

Did you tell your husband about the online thing? Are you sure that you are finished with that? As much as the act of what your husband did hurts (and he was obviously not in the right) it does seem from the story that it was something he did not want to do. Your part in this was starting the emotional affair with another man. Even though it is not physically cheating, it can be just as harmful because of the feelings involved. And because of that you have to know that you are completely finished with this man before you can move forward with your marriage.

[babygrl1234 6]

And have I mentioned lately how much I heart the ignore feature on here? I have had a PG free week and it has been just lovely.