I hate it when people post just to post.....

[luluc 6]

Why is it that these guys (mine included) have these overbearing mothers that they say they don't even respect but then turn to jelly every time momma barks?

took hubby giving me the go ahead and i BARKED back at my MIL. can't come to our home & dictate what goes on (she was pissed at the time i 'allowed' her daughter & her partner to share a guest rm of ours, while they were there)...guess what - you don't get a say, or you can get a hotel rm.

got the Water works going and i just threw her a box of tissues and told her to deal....done

if she wants a relationship w/her son, she gets me in a nice neat bow...LOL

i cross my fingers daily they move to FL - can sick my mom on them if they do. she'd LOVE it:sneaky::smile::cursing:

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

PJTP...Slim, this is really hard, I understand, and I wish you didn't have to go through it, but... :thumbup:

Since you do, but on your best bi*ch-on-wheels attitude and set a deadline - and not several weeks from now, but a couple of DAYS from now. Either HE handles it by x date, or YOU will...if you leave it open-ended, it will never get handled properly. And define for him what HANDLE it means to you! :cool2:

Get definate confirmation that he has indeed HANDLED it by being there when it happens. You need to know exactly what HE says and what SHE says. If he's not willing to stand up to his mother (and it sounds like he's had a problem with this before) then she's going to be in y'alls business and disrespecting you in your house for quite a while.

You don't deserve that - you are better than that, and we're on your side on this one. :cursing:

Beth and Luluc are right - nip it in the bud now, before it gets worse.

And I agree with you - if HE doesn't like it, he can move in with HER!:smile:

[smsmithart 4]

I'm glad bf can't stand his mother ..all these MIL stories sound terrible..my bf and mother get along great

[Donna113 2]

What a nightmare MILs can be. I've had great relationships with all 3 of my MILs but then again I never lived in the same town with them either. My current MIL lives in another country, is 96 and totally awesome. I'm in complete awe of her.

[*slim* 2]

My MIL has been an example of the type of woman that I NEVER want to be. She has truly lived up to the MIL from hell.

[*slim* 2]

Sometimes people have to be the "bad guy" in situations like this, otherwise they get walked all over and mistreated.

My MIL spent years being a bitch to me until I had finally had enough. I quit saying to myself, "but she's his mother" and said "enough is enough, I'm your WIFE." I gave him the option -- either HE stopped it or I would, and I could almost guarantee bloodshed if I did it (on both sides, not just mine).

Slim, no matter what, that IS your home... YOUR home. Not hers, not the brother's, YOURS. If you don't set the ground rules and quick, you had better be prepared to move out cuz momma sounds like she's moving in, in a way.

If he can't understand your feelings in this matter, it may be time to pull out the construction paper and crayons, honey. Why is it that these guys (mine included) have these overbearing mothers that they say they don't even respect but then turn to jelly every time momma barks? With my MIL, it was the money -- they give sonny boy money from time to time and seem to hang it over people's heads. I once asked my DH if that was the issue, the money, and he agreed that, yeah, kinda. I had to ask, then, so exactly how much AM I worth?? :smile:

That's just it. She has never done anything. I mean, even now when my DH says things like he never had birthday parties as a child, it makes me feel for the child that he was. Or when he was suspended from school (he was a badass), she woudn't take him back. They wouldn't allow the child to come back to school until the parents came with them. She wouldn't go (and acts proud that she produced a drop out). I talked him into going back to school. I helped him get his GED and then get his electrician's license. Now she wants to sit back and take credit. Well, I've got news for her, I raised her damn son to the man he is. She didn't do it. I know that sound bad, but he had no idea of how to be a man or what was expected of a man. I would have my uncles (all good men) talk to him. I kept putting my expectations out there. I kept telling him that he was better than minimum wage jobs. I heped him to understand that in order for him to be a decent father, he had to first start acting like a decent man. It just goes all over me. All of his awful qualities came from her. She is mean. I have never seen her be nice (other than to my step daughter). It just grates my nerves. Needless to say, my blood pressure goes through the roof just thinking about this woman.

[Gracey 7]

SnT - my prayers to you and your family...it is so difficult to lose someone in your family, let alone multiple losses at the same time. Be strong, be safe and take good care of yourself

Thanks so much, Ebony. Thankfully we only lost one extended family member. My aunt's in the hospital with 35% heart pumping effective rate. She's having a heart cath tomorrow morning for to check for blockages. I'm just so glad she's in the hospital so they can watch her.

snt-I am so sorry you are being bombarded with bad news! My great Grandma used to tell me deaths come in 3's. She used to get very upset when waiting for the 3rd to happen, and no amount of telling her it was an old wives tale would ease her mind. And eventually of course someone did die!

Thank you, Kat. I've heard that old wives' tale my whole life too. I was hoping that mine would end at 3 too. I guess the Lord was lonely? :smile:

PJTP that my dear MIL (sarcasm) has decided to move near me (less than a block away). I haven't been worth talking to in a year, but now she LOVES me. Seems she can't afford food now that she is moving so close. She came over to eat last night (uninvited I might add). She is moving less than a block away. They have already called to ask if I am cooking tonight. I may not cook again for a long time!

Along with the families of the deaths I've heard about this week, I will put you on my prayer list!!! Lawd I don't wanna live that close to my own parents that I dearly love. I need my space!

ptjp - my best friend might kill me. she caught me on fb last night and told me that she found out her 15yr old had a party friday night ... kids got drunk & she has parents calling her left / right. she's in Mexico till thursday. well i just called her son and told him he better get a friend to pop him in the jaw/get some injury because his mother is going to kill HIM. figured he needed fair warning - he was stunned she knew / i also told him NO he can't come stay w/me....omg he is so dead!!!

At 42, I would STILL be grounded possibly not be able to sit down if I'd pulled that mess!!!

i would have PB&J out for them this evening for diner and take your son out to eat.:cursing:

Hysterical!!!

SNT I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will be thinking of you and yours.

Thank you, dear.

I can also see them coming over wanting to use my washing machine every week....All I can say is this, he can go live with her if it comes down to it.

HELLO!!! In this or any economy, would does she think it's OK to run up your Water and grocery bills?!? Rude. I love the thought that you'd send him to momma. That makes me snicker and we all know I need a good laugh!

Lulu-my mother's MIL was quite a piece of work in her own right. My mother is a middle child and took my grandmother's crap for a longgggg time. She too got to the point where she couldn't take it anymore and she straightened my grandmother out but good. One Christmas, mom warned my wussy uncle that "she and her children would up and leave" if my grandmother wasn't nice. Uncle just wanted a warning nod so he could grab my aunt! How I wish I would've known about all this drama at the time!

What a nightmare MILs can be. I've had great relationships with all 3 of my MILs but then again I never lived in the same town with them either. My current MIL lives in another country, is 96 and totally awesome. I'm in complete awe of her.

Did you say THREE MILs? I can't find one SOB I think I wanna marry much less threeeeeee! :thumbup:

[*slim* 2]

Thanks everyone for the support. It helps to know that I am not being selfish in this. She hasn't earned my love or respect. I am not just going to turn my house over to her.

[Kat817 19]

My MIL has wonderful points and not so wonderful ones!!! Her memory is horrid, but she chooses what she remembers!!! She loves to tell everyone about the day DH and I got married, how she did this and did that. In reality, she was out of town!!! Both sets of parents were out of town and we took advantage and hit the judges chambers!!! That way no ones feelings were hurt! But she remembers it differently! Oh well!

She LOVES to comment on my weight. I have issues with that!! I need to eliminate or correct my ticker, but have recently gained some back-------and she has commented on EVERY ounce!

She is opinionated, and manipulative-she pouts with the best of them!

BUT----if I need anything, she will die trying to be there for me. She loves her kids, and would and has done without to provide for them.

She introduces me to anyone and everyone she knows and seems to have pride in doing so--and always talks like I am the DIL from heaven!

She is 80+ so I just try to overlook the memory issues, and DH is awesome about standing up for me whenever anything has come up. He will not sit back and allow her to run me over!

That said....she is on my SH*T list right now. DS and DIL have split up, and without missing a beat she is siding with DIL, and is trash talking my son....and I cannot sit back and let that happen!!! We are going to their house for dinner tonight because my brother in law is in town from Denver, so I have a feeling it might be a bit tense.

I will think of you when I get overwhelmed tonight Slim, and am sending extra strength your way!!!

Good Luck Girl!!!

Kat

[Kat817 19]

OH! And Slim, if she even thought about hitting me in the belly--------like she did your DH, she would have her wish! She would get 3 hots and a cot--right at the local county jail house. She would NOT raise a hand to me I don't care who the hell she or her son think she is!

If it comes to that, I'LL come kick her A$$!!

Kat

[Gracey 7]

Kat - in a bet, I'd take you and SNT in a heartbeat!!! Y'all could kick some assssssss!!!

[BethFromVA 5]

That's just it. She has never done anything. I mean, even now when my DH says things like he never had birthday parties as a child, it makes me feel for the child that he was. Or when he was suspended from school (he was a badass), she woudn't take him back. They wouldn't allow the child to come back to school until the parents came with them. She wouldn't go (and acts proud that she produced a drop out). I talked him into going back to school. I helped him get his GED and then get his electrician's license. Now she wants to sit back and take credit. Well, I've got news for her, I raised her damn son to the man he is. She didn't do it. I know that sound bad, but he had no idea of how to be a man or what was expected of a man. I would have my uncles (all good men) talk to him. I kept putting my expectations out there. I kept telling him that he was better than minimum wage jobs. I heped him to understand that in order for him to be a decent father, he had to first start acting like a decent man. It just goes all over me. All of his awful qualities came from her. She is mean. I have never seen her be nice (other than to my step daughter). It just grates my nerves. Needless to say, my blood pressure goes through the roof just thinking about this woman.

I totally hear you, and I don't find how you feel about it to be mean at all.

And for the sake of your blood pressure, what else would you like to talk about? :smile:

[Donna113 2]

Did you say THREE MILs? I can't find one SOB I think I wanna marry much less threeeeeee! :cursing:

What can I say? I guess I'm the marrying kind. In reality, I have a very low tolerance for people. When my exes pissed me off enough, I showed them the door. My current DH is my 3rd time charm. We've been happily (mostly) married for 10 years now (love at first sight--married 1 week later) and stronger now than ever.

You should give love a chance. :smile:

[Gracey 7]

You should give love a chance. :cursing:

And where should I find said man/love?? :smile:

[plain 12]

And where should I find said man/love?? :smile:

Facebook, thilly.