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It's really impossible to know if you've hurt anything unfortunately. Luckily it's not like with a sleeve where you would get a leak if you did something bad. So that's why you can't do it again! (Because you won't know for years and year.)

But everything I've read has lead to me conclude there is no reason to do a clear liquid diet for a week or longer. The ASMBS even says that in their paper on nutrition. So if you are going crazy with the clears, why not move to fulls early instead of jumping to mushies which you really shouldn't start this early out no matter how good you chew them.

Susan, in addition to talking to your surgeon, maybe counseling would help. Does your surgeon have someone on staff you can talk to? They can help you with coping techniques for your food urges. I really like the book "The Emotional First+Aid Kit" which I got on Amazon -- it's a guide to post-op life and talks about all the normal things that we go through in our heads and gives suggestions for how to cope with them.

Edited by MacMadame

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Confession time...........

Guys, I need help. I am sitting here in tears right now. I should have probably started another thread, but I feel more comfortable posting in this one to you guys, cause you are my banded family. I just finished typing this on my blog, and decided instead of posting it where only I see it, I should post it here. So, here it is, my copied and pasted confession.

I have this wonderful tool, and I refuse to use it. My eating has gone completely out of control, back to what it was before I got banded. I am gaining weight like crazy. I am a complete lazy ass and haven't been to the gym in I can't remember how long. Why am I allowing this? We refinanced our home just so I could have this surgery, and I am still fat, fat, FAT!!!!!!!!

I am just so frustrated with myself. I can't seem to get my motivation back. I spend a ton of time on LBT thinking I will find something there to inspire me, but nothing is working. Every time I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. My clothes are all getting way too tight and are downright uncomfortable. I can't even bring myself to get on the scale anymore. I feel like such a liar when I am on LBT offering others advice when I am a complete and total failure myself.

I need to work this out. I know how great it felt when I was losing. I know how wonderful it felt both physically and emotionally. I know I want it, but for some reason, I just can't seem to control my eating. I need a fill. But, I can't seem to find my sweet spot. I am either over-filled to the point of not being able to keep anything down, or under-filled like now where I can eat anything I want. I am afraid of being over-filled yet again, so I avoid my doctor. I just need to call him. I need to talk to him about this. Geez, I wish he could read my blog, that would help.

I am really embarrassed and ashamed. I feel like I have disappointed everyone.

{{{hugs}}} It is so easy to get back into the old habits. I had a grand ole time during Halloween with a large group of Milky Way bars. I was so disappointed with myself!! I had a lot of the same feeling that you have right now. Maybe you can get into talk to someone. I have been over filled and I know the agony of that! It sucks! Hang in there and fight that binge demon!!

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Susan, your post could have been written by me. I've been up and down the last 20 -30 pounds a couple of times. I come good for a few months get them off and then go off the rails again (like now) and eat crap and skip the gym for weeks on end (I always tell myself I'll go back tomorrow, but there is always another tomorrow isn't there). After my slip earlier this year I gained a heap of weight and worked hard with no fill to not gain more. I am at an ok fill level now, but I still eat more than I would like, and I have put on about 5 pounds so far. My clothes are getting snug too. I still want to get this last 20 pounds off somehow, but I guess in the back of my mind I wonder after 2 years with my band if maybe my body is just supposed to be 70 kilos rather than the 60 I dream of. I just can't seem to get it off and I still feel fatter than I'd like to be most days. This band IS only a tool and sometimes we aren't going to be the perfect bandster. But one thing I did learn from my slip/unfill situation is that when we decide to get back on the horse again the band is there for us to use. Thats the magic of the band. Give yourself space to be imperfect sometimes. You've come so far and recognising that things aren't how you want them to be is the first step. You'll figure out the path that will work for you, and we're all here in the meantime to support and encourage you *hugs*

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YAY! I can see you all!

Ssmith---step away from the damn fruit roll ups. :wink2:

Froggi--it it ok, but don't do it again, you can do this.

Susan--you are being way too hard on yourself. You are laying your cards out on the table to yourself and us. You know what you want, now go get it. You have been under alot of stress that got the best of you, that is ok. It is only failure if you accept it! You don't have to do that! Nothing is forever unless you make it so. We are all here for you.

She--I know what you mean, but you can do it, just as I did. It is a bitch and a pain in the ass but you can do it. :(

Kat--want me to come over there and Kung Fu Panda you girl? :( tee heee...

I miss you all!

:thumbup:

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But you are probably like me that when you start to backslide, instead of reaching out, you freak out. I do that, and that is the one reason I'm afraid of sabotaging my weight loss too. I get to a certain point, realize I'm starting to look good, and totally freak out and do the exact opposite of what I should do. I too will likely deal with this very issue again in the future.

I do this as well. Not just in weight loss either. When I sense things are going good, I tend to sabotage it somehow. I have backslid a little lately as well on the weight loss. I have started to get back into old habits of eating past satisfied and eating Snacks when I KNOW I'm not hungry. I broke down and called the PA for a fill. Can't get in for another couple of weeks, but I am going to buckle down and get back into the right way of thinking.

Susan, don't beat yourself up. You are only human. You recognize things aren't as they are supposed to be. That is the first step. You know how to fix the problem, that is important. Good luck.

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Susan...I think your post is important, because those of us posting are at all different stages in this process. At 14 months post op, ican see it being easy to give yourself a break. I do, but I make mental deals w/myself. Can,t "have this or drink that" w/out getting my butt to the gym. Sounds odd, but it,s working so far....sending you hugs!!!

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Susan - do you hear the chorus of 'me too' echo's? Although not banded as long as you, I have hit a spot where I am doing stupid things - knowingly and by choice. WHY?? I started backsliding in eating - enjoying the tastes and sensations of chewing and swallowing to a painful excess, and even that doesn't stop me. It isn't sweets, it is everything - even stuff I don't like. I made it to the Y only 3 times last week - and that's only because 2 days I was dropped off there by DH who thought once I got in the doors I'd feel better - nope.

Why why why? And what can I/should I do about it? Get another fill?? Well, gotta save the pennies for that, and this is not the time of year that saving comes easily.

See I can come up with excuses so easily.

I am trying to refocus....and every day is a struggle.

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hate to bash MIL's cause my mom is the best one!!! LOL.

but mine just TORKS me all ways wrong. she is very intolerant, jealous, hypochondriac, narcissistic, - well i can keep going.

we've had our "confrontations" - and they just don't register, so i gave up trying. my mom gave me tips to dealing, and wine is involved...LOL

she is NEVER going to LOVE me, she tolerates me because of her son - and well her son can't stand her. we have to give her set times of when we are arriving - when we are leaving - when will see them. if we don't set parameters w/her - she will take advantage or need to be rushed to the er because she is again dying for the 8th time since i've known her.

i'm betting on an ER run today if the conversations don't revolve around her.....a BIG reason DH and i never told her about getting banded. that would deflect attention away from her....

ok - lulu tucks tail between legs and gets ready for turkey day....

Lulu, I'm beginning to think you must be married to my brother because your MIL sounds like my MOTHER!

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she is NEVER going to LOVE me,

Ok, I just saw this and I have to say it:

Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you are a fan of the hated Gnats? C'mon, just because your DH can overlook that doesn't mean all real fans of football have to.

:thumbup::tt2::):tt2::mellow::tt2::cool2::tt2:

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Ok, I just saw this and I have to say it:

Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you are a fan of the hated Gnats? C'mon, just because your DH can overlook that doesn't mean all real fans of football have to.

:thumbup::tt2::):tt2::mellow::tt2::cool2::tt2:

LOL - it has EVERYTHING to do with that i'm half jewish & from NY....oh and being liberal doesn't help:wink:

but then again - hubby is HER baby and she would like to remain his rightful owner till her death...or his:eek:

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Lulu, I'm beginning to think you must be married to my brother because your MIL sounds like my MOTHER!

oh donna - that's a lot to deal with!!!!

we had no ER visit turkey day - but she was in the hospital sunday morning......didn't get enough hugs was the diagnosis.

yeah, yeah - i know; i'm bad.....slaps hand (but laughs on the inside:sneaky:)

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oh donna - that's a lot to deal with!!!!

we had no ER visit turkey day - but she was in the hospital sunday morning......didn't get enough hugs was the diagnosis.

yeah, yeah - i know; i'm bad.....slaps hand (but laughs on the inside:sneaky:)

I have been married twice and neither one of my MIL's liked me! My current MIL is pouting and has not returned our telephone calls, emails, letter etc. in nearly three years. I have given up on her. She was really mad when she called my husbands cell phone when he was driving in DC where it is illegal to talk on the cell phone. A policeman tapped on the car window to tell my husband to get off the phone. When he told her he had to go she was PISSED! We have never heard from her again. :thumbup: It is sad.

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