Considering cancelling surgery

[erika702 16]

Your statistics seem to back up what I was saying, that at 5 years out most patients have maintained the majority of their weight loss. I don't think any diet in the world can match that.
I would also add that my Father is one of those success as a failure stories. Growing up he was 350lbs had an RNY and dropped to 180 before slowly over the next 10 years going up to and settling at ~225. He's part of that 80% that failed in your book, but he is so much healthier than he ever was before.
As for the rest I'm not in any position to try to psychoanalyze the OP, but what she wrote sound more like she has been stressed out by the prospect of the surgery which has caused here less than ideal response.

Thankyou i am very stressed my surgeon only asks for 3 day liquid diet which i started yesterday, before that all i had to do was be on high Protein diet for a month, thats where i did have cheat meals then and there i did lose 15 lbs but since i see everyone so strict i thought i had zero motivation and thought i should go with it since i did cheat a few month in that month.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Don't cancel. Do the surgery, but get counseling along the way, as what you really need is support to sort it out. The surgery makes overeating difficult, especially in the early stages which makes forced success easier.

You sound like it's anxiety causing this off the rails 'let's cancel surgery' fear of failure or fear of success - which is where counseling will help. And a reminder here - stalls WILL happen and you WILL have to deal with it, this is a learning experience. Go forward not backward. Good luck.

[aNYCdb 310]

2 minutes ago, erika702 said:

Thankyou i am very stressed my surgeon only asks for 3 day liquid diet which i started yesterday, before that all i had to do was be on high Protein diet for a month, thats where i did have cheat meals then and there i did lose 15 lbs but since i see everyone so strict i thought i had zero motivation and thought i should go with it since i did cheat a few month in that month.

None of is terribly surprising to me (trust me we all cheated to some extent or another in the lead up to surgery), but the fact that you are still down 15 pounds tells me that you committed to preop diet plan pretty darn well.

[erika702 16]

Do you have any idea how many people would give their left nut to have the opportunity you have right now?
I'm not making this stuff up. THIS ^^^^ is what I based my responses on. Sorry, but I don't do "martyr" posts. There was a reason I unleashed and told you the king's new clothes are his birthday suit.
This is tooooo serious a surgery to go in with this attitude.
Everyone and their brother has anxiety about the surgery. BFD! We deal with it and move on. But I don't know of many who actually adopted a laissez faire attitude to the pre-surgical diet and moved forward through surgery. It's far too dangerous and irresponsible IMHO.

That wasnt my question to sit down and think how many ppl would like to be in my shoes, im lucky enough to pay for this out of pocket and like i said thanks for your moral support, but doesnt seem to be helping at all. All youre doing is attacking me. But thanks for being dead serious with me ill have to think about more with what you said. Thanks alot.

[erika702 16]

Don't cancel. Do the surgery, but get counseling along the way, as what you really need is support to sort it out. The surgery makes overeating difficult, especially in the early stages which makes forced success easier.
You sound like it's anxiety causing this off the rails 'let's cancel surgery' fear of failure or fear of success - which is where counseling will help. And a reminder here - stalls WILL happen and you WILL have to deal with it, this is a learning experience. Go forward not backward. Good luck.

Thanks!

[frust8 963]

Old saying: You've got to think ahead or You'll fall behind! Don't get behind the 8ball of self-doubt and anxiety, one baby step at a time but please keep moving ahead! The rewards are so much better than staying where you are at now. I'm still moving ahead, please join me on this JOURNEY![emoji173][emoji172][emoji13][emoji171][emoji170]HW355 CW323

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[erika702 16]

Old saying: You've got to think ahead or You'll fall behind! Don't get behind the 8ball of self-doubt and anxiety, one baby step at a time but please keep moving ahead! The rewards are so much better than staying where you are at now. I'm still moving ahead, please join me on this JOURNEY![emoji173][emoji172][emoji13][emoji171][emoji170]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Thanks!

[April Dawn 8]

Hi Erika702. Sounds like you are really struggling. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all those painful feelings. Facing feelings is what a lot of us have to do on this journey. It sounds like you may be doing some self sabotage by not following your pre-op diet. Might be time to talk to the Psyc about it and try to find out what you are so afraid of. Maybe it's time to face some scary demons. Only you can decide if you are truly ready for the physical, mental and emotional journey ahead. Just know that you are not alone. We are here to support you in whatever decision you make. Keep us posted. Good luck sweetheart. Sending hugs.

[KatFight 207]

1 hour ago, erika702 said:

Thankyou!!!! Thats my problem i dont mind eating healthy the problem is when i get hungry is when it all falls apart and i looked into the sleeve because its goin to help me feel full and not get hungry. Like everyone said its a tool not a miracle.

Hi @erika702 When it’s said that a person will not hungry after surgery, that may true for some; however, it’s definitely not the majority. Initially following surgery, the stomach becomes full so easily that you may not. Oftentimes, hungry rises in the weeks following or after eating carbs. (I saw my surgeon yesterday and told her that I ate something not on the list - a small piece of a breadstick from Olive Garden - and she told me that once carbs continue to be eaten, hunger gets worse.) Amen to wait you said, “it’s a tool, not a miracle.”

I’m just mentioning so that you’re wary of expecting that post-surgery will be easier bc you won’t be hungry. There’s a pretty good chance that you may experience hunger often.

Your honesty about your feelings and difficulty show that you care deeply about making the decision that is right for you. I do think, as someone else mentioned, that having a conversation with your surgeon or even the nurses at the practice if your surgeon is unavailable could me a tremendous help.

If you’ve “cheated” during your pre-surgery liquid diet, it’s important to let the surgeon know ahead of time. Like another member said this poses a danger to you and your surgeon bc your liver may not be small enough. Nobody wants to go through surgery only to find the surgery could not be completed.

If you have “cheated” during this phase or need just a little more time to pull it together is there any way you could talk to your surgeon and ask if you could be given another month? Would this still be acceptable to insurance? And will it keep you from redoing everything?

Whatever your decision, please keep your safety in mind and I wish you well. 🐈

[KatFight 207]

I see I left out some words - my apologies.

[sideeye 1,440]

This is what I'd say: the surgery is relatively easy. The weeks (and months and years) after are not.

I see people freaking out about following their pre-op diet and that their surgeon will just zip them back up again without doing the surgery, but given the huge variation in surgeon's advice (my surgeon: no pre-op diet, 24 hours of fluids ahead of time and he didn't even have to use the liver retractor) I wouldn't dwell on that horribly. What I WOULD dwell on is whether or not you feel able to resist nibbling on a muffing at 6 days post-op, or thinking of your first McDonald's shake after surgery as a "goal", or planning out how you'll pace Christmas Cookies so you can still eat them all even with a small stomach.

If your fear is of the actual surgery, the risks are pretty few and well-documented. But if your fear is the thought that you will sabotage yourself afterwards through eating choices, then that's a different topic and might mean that cancelling the surgery and working through food addiction issues with a psychologist would be a better use of your time.

[KatFight 207]

This is what I'd say: the surgery is relatively easy. The weeks (and months and years) after are not.
I see people freaking out about following their pre-op diet and that their surgeon will just zip them back up again without doing the surgery, but given the huge variation in surgeon's advice (my surgeon: no pre-op diet, 24 hours of fluids ahead of time and he didn't even have to use the liver retractor) I wouldn't dwell on that horribly. What I WOULD dwell on is whether or not you feel able to resist nibbling on a muffing at 6 days post-op, or thinking of your first McDonald's shake after surgery as a "goal", or planning out how you'll pace Christmas Cookies so you can still eat them all even with a small stomach.
If your fear is of the actual surgery, the risks are pretty few and well-documented. But if your fear is the thought that you will sabotage yourself afterwards through eating choices, then that's a different topic and might mean that cancelling the surgery and working through food addiction issues with a psychologist would be a better use of your time.

Hi @sideye. You were fortunate that your liver was no issue but to tell someone who is pre-surgery that there is no concern in that bc of how your dr did things is ill-advised. My surgeon is the founder of a Center of Excellence and has had to sew many patients back up who failed to follow directions and their livers were too large. Be careful of dispensing advice contrary to medical advice. Very dangerous.

[clsumrall 535]

Do you have any idea how many people would give their left nut to have the opportunity you have right now?
I'm not making this stuff up. THIS ^^^^ is what I based my responses on. Sorry, but I don't do "martyr" posts. There was a reason I unleashed and told you the king's new clothes are his birthday suit.
This is tooooo serious a surgery to go in with this attitude.
Everyone and their brother has anxiety about the surgery. BFD! We deal with it and move on. But I don't know of many who actually adopted a laissez faire attitude to the pre-surgical diet (and I'm talking about the actual PRE-OP diet, not the pre-six month weight loss diet--we all have cheated during that and lived to tell about it--and moved forward through surgery. It's far too dangerous and irresponsible IMHO to not take the pre-op diet seriously.

Watch on Netflix THE BIG WARD. it was an eye opener about cheating on the pre op diet and the consequences. Fluffy has an excellent point. If you can do weight watchers you can do the pre op diet. Don’t let your head get in your way. Good luck and keep posting

[clsumrall 535]

Im scheduled for surgery on sat im really considering cancelling, and try on my own one more time. I havent done the preop diet right have zero motivation. Im scared and anxiety is through the roof. Has anyone had more motivation after surgery? Any thoughts anyone else has thought and done surgery?

[clsumrall 535]

Please get a chance to watch THE BIG WARD. on Netflix. It was an eye opener to see what happens if you can do the pre op liquid diet. Please don’t give up. Want to hear more about you and your thoughts. Keep up the good fight