People making decision difficult

[jiggyiggy120 8]

So recently I’ve decided that I wanted to do the revision from lapband to gastric bypass. The lapband definitely failed and I’m sick of the yo-yoing up and down and dieting and failing over and over again. I have a lot of people that are really supportive, but I’ve also been getting a lot of criticism. Mostly from my personal trainer. I still am trying to eat healthier and workout, but I still want the surgery as well. You can’t just stop eating healthy and working out just because you’re getting the surgery. But my trainer is determined to change my mind. He’s telling me I don’t need it, and that I should just give him a year and things will change. But I still feel that the surgery is what I should do. Yes, I could lose weight with working out and eating right, of course, but I feel that I still have to do this for myself. I’ve had personal trainers before, I’ve done this and I’m still completely overweight. I’m just struggling because he’s making me second guess that my decision is the right one. I need some guidance here.

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

It’s hard to give complete guidance. You say you are “completely overweight”.

Gastric bypass is for obese patients. Most insurance requires a BMI of 40 or above with no comorbid conditions. A BMI of 35-40 with comorbid conditions.

I would never base a medical decision based on something a personal trainer had to say. If they mentioned it again I would let them know I was only interested in their opinions on fitness. If they persisted, it’s time to find a new trainer.

Lots of people on here have gone from bands to sleeves or bypass. You may want to share more of your stats for more specific responses.

[jiggyiggy120 8]

Sorry, my current weight is 403. Before I got the lapband I was 450. I originally got down to 370 after getting banded, but have now been in the 400-410 range for about a year now. My insurance won’t cover anything that has to do with weightloss so it’s not an insurance thing for me. I’m just going to get a medical loan and pay it back with my HSA money

[jiggyiggy120 8]

Also, the hard part about this trainer is he’s a friend of mine. I’ve been friends with him for years, and he owns his own gym so I went to him for help. That’s why it’s difficult to not listen to what he has to say since he’s someone I’ve known for a long time.

[pollymatin 6]

I think you should do what you feel is best for you. I would work out, feel great then stop and the weight came right back. Having this surgery was the best idea for me, I just wish I had done it years ago. Don’t let your trainer bully you. If that’s what he is doing. It’s his job to work out with you, but if it’s not working it’s not.

[WildcatGirl71 81]

Also, the hard part about this trainer is he’s a friend of mine. I’ve been friends with him for years, and he owns his own gym so I went to him for help. That’s why it’s difficult to not listen to what he has to say since he’s someone I’ve known for a long time.

You need to do what is best for you. No one else. Postponing a chance to be healthier and possibly avoid serious long term health issues should not be an option.
Diet and exercise alone works for some people but there are those of us that needs that extra help. Majority of us can lose a few pounds (or a lot) but it comes right back. Bariatric surgery is the best option to help us maintain and keep it off. It’s not an easy way out and will never replace diet and exercise. Surgery is merely a tool to help it stick.
You will still be able to workout with your friend after surgery.
I hope you choose what is best for you and not wait to start living your best life.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Trainers are great, but they have no frame of reference for metabolic syndrome or medical conditions like morbid obesity. I read somewhere (?) that obese people (that have not had surgery) need to workout 90 -120 minutes a day every day to maintain a normal weight AFTER they get to a normal weight.

Besides the lapband needs to come out reagardless because it is a useless device at this point and could cause lots of problems if left inside. Follow your conscience on this, and tell your friend you appreciate his efforts but this is your decision and you are moving forward. Good luck. Come on here for support.

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

37 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

Trainers are great, but they have no frame of reference for metabolic syndrome or medical conditions like morbid obesity.

This. Whether your friend or not, you have a medical problem that is putting your health at great risk. Many times if the person is resistant to you getting surgery it comes from a place of fear of something happening to you because they care...as in a true friend or family member.

If your mind is made up though, you just need to tell your friend that you could use their support as it is what you’ve decided to do but if they are unwilling to support you then you do not wish to hear anything negative regarding your plans for surgery. A true friend will support your decision, and at the least stop trying to convince you to not have surgery. If he can’t support you, there are lots of other trainers that can help you fitness wise.

Good luck with everything!

[CyclicalLoser 155]

I am not in the same boat, well, I sort of am. I am getting my band taken out and have been on the fence about a RNY revision. I should clarify, I'm falling off the fence onto the RNY side. I've had my band since 2010. 293 > 220 > 300. I went from 220 to about 260 and stayed there for a few years, dealing with the fun stuff we bandsters have to deal with, and eventually got tired of not losing weight and getting any/everything stuck. I had it completely dilated and I have slowly gained even more weight.

I am kind of a loaner, so this might seem harsh, but personally, the only opinion that matters to me are God's, mine, and family. I have some friends that have opinions, but although I am willing to listen, they don't know the whole story because they don't get to experience the bad parts of being overweight.

Nevertheless, if you feel like you need something to show your PT, then pull out any recent peer-reviewed studies showing the stats of lapband surgery. (* I'm sure there are people that it did (permanently) work good for). My surgeon said he only does bands about 2% of the time. The complication rate is through the roof (as I sit here and look at my port that requires inserting the needle almost parallel to my skin because of the 90* flip), and the long term success is quite poor. As I write this, I wonder when I was doing this why "It is reversible" is used as an incentive. If it works properly, why would I want to remove it? If I'm not sure it's going to work, then why have it placed?

You might laugh at this. When I went to have it dilated, I asked if the doctor used lidocaine (He was a new-to-me doctor). He kind of gave me that "Are you a wimp?" look and I told him I'd give him $100 if he could find it in 5 jabs. He gave me the lidocaine, and finally found it after *20* tries. It was so difficult, he drew a map of how to find it on my medical chart. I was black and blue for the next week from being a human pincushion.

Best of luck for you and remember it is your life, not anybody else's!

[Sleeved36 356]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Let's say you do lose the weight; it would take FOREVER with just diet and exercise and almost no one can keep it off long term. I would hate to see you get depressed or mad at yourself if you aren't successful. This is a hard mountain to climb.

Don't listen too much to other people. (Even me) Google "Biggest Loser Study" and read some of the articles that pop up explaining the research. Losing weight with diet and exercise PERMANENTLY lowers your metabolism and gastric bypass does NOT. This research has been repeated and confirmed by other studies.

Surgery is statistically your only chance.

[RapidFirePickle 119]

When I met with the surgeon for my initial consult, he said that even when people successfully lose all of the excess weight without surgery, only FOUR PERCENT have long-term success keeping that weight loss. Surgery is the tool that give people the ability to lose AND to maintain weight loss.

[domi 237]

If you haven’t, I suggest you see a psychologist. I was having the same pressure and speaking with my psychologist helped me make the best decision for me. Best of luck whatever you do.

[Sprinkles1 358]

OMG, MY TRAINER WAS THE SAME WAY! And so, I waited... and I'm not heavier than I was before. It's been 8 months. No more waiting. Act now.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[FluffyChix 17,415]

You are looking for external validation and for someone else to make this super-serious decision for you. That way, if you fail it won't be your fault--cuz it wasn't your decision to begin with and you'll claim that you had your own doubts all along.

So I'ma call BS on this one and instead will say, seek your own truth. Make a pro-con list. Listen to your heart and your gut. Come to us for questions, research, experiences, etc--but don't come ask us to tell you what to do. Cuz opinions are like assholes. They are a dime a dozen and great supply. But sadly, nobody wants to see or hear 'em.

You can DO this. Think for yourself. Do you!!!

[April Dawn 8]

Surgery is just another tool in the tool box of your health. I have also dealt with many trainers who feel the same way. The difference between us and them is that they don't really seem to understand the mental and emotional struggles we have with food. Trainers and gyms are all great tools to help us achieve our ultimate goals but that is what all of it is. Just more tools. To build a better mind, soul and body we need as many tools as we can get. Good luck with your decision. Hopefully he will understand that you need your surgery tool and his tools as well.