Feeling Really Down

[JanineVSG 93]

I am not sure I have any worthwhile advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I hear your struggle and I hope things get better for you. Stay the course; 2 weeks will fly by in no time at all. If you feel like you're not getting enough support from your spouse (which it sounds like you aren't), just know you can always find support on this forum.

[Macs1978 25]

Thanks again to everyone! What a difference sharing makes for the soul! I did call and set up a therapist appointment, once each for the next two weeks and we can go from there. My husband has a lot of issues but he had been going to therapy and stopped a little over a month ago. It’s not a miserable every day life but I feel the things he has said about my weight are plain cruel and abusive while he sees them as facts. I’m very grateful my daughter has not heard the things he has said to me. I never want her to feel the way I have felt over the years and recently in regards to my weight due to the things he has said. I’m on day 2 of my pre-op diet and truly feel good. I am excited and can’t wait for April 5th. With or without him, I know I will be successful with this and see an improvement in my health. And if I happen to look like a totes hottie at the end, so be it! The people in this forum, including each of you, are amazing and I’m am extremely grateful to have the support I need! I hope I have the opportunity to pay it forward. Have a great day everyone!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Just do what the doc and RD say. Follow the rules. Don't cheat even a little and get to your goal as quickly as possible!!!!! Make "Failure is NOT an Option!!!!" And ingrained word. Do NOT be the girl who never reaches goal. Seriously. Don't be that girl. ((hugs))

[myfanwymoi 102]

Statistically, 85% of people who have weight loss surgery get divorced within the first few years after surgery.
Someone here said their surgeon told them it makes a good marriage better, and a bad marriage worse.
How to put this eloquently?
Your husband sounds like an abusive jerk and you should have left him long ago. Why haven't you?
I think he's scared to death you'll succeed. Which is why he sabotages you and tries to make you feel like dirt.
Yes, his mental health issues are pitiable. But at this point he cares so little for your welfare he's trying to derail your efforts to take charge of your health due to his insecurity.
Your post is written by a downtrodden broken person who takes the blame for everything. I don't think that's who you are or who you want to be. It's who he's made you become.
Your daughter is watching. Every time he hurls caustic insults...she gets used to that being ok. It's not ok. And it's a terrible example. Do you want her to end up with a guy who treats her like that? Of course you don't.
Have the surgery. Stick to your plan.
Get rid of this jerk. Have a happy life with someone who respects you.
You're stronger than you think.

Creekimp - what you said all of it.
Years ago my (ex) husband bought me six outsize choc bars home from Switzerland. I ate them. Every last crumb and was sick with guilt over my lack of restraint.
When out with friends at that time he said to them...”she wonders why she’s fat - you should see how much chocolate she ate last week!” Didn’t mention who bought it. I curled up in shame.
It’s hard to be around this and hold on to the truth. But you’re doing a thing which is both brave and hard. It is not an easy way, it’s a tool, and there’s hard work ahead.
I’m just at the stage now where I’m hitting maintenance and with it a heap of new and painful challenges. But I have a therapist and friends and I’ll get there.
So will you.
Be the best you can be. That’s the lesson to teach your daughter xxx