Anyone else anorexic?

[pendulum 6]

I had RNY 2/9/17 (horrible surgeon/experience) Dr Michael D Williams in Atlanta, Ga- truly incompetent staff, zero follow up, lied to me many times.

Anyhow...I had the laundry list of issues (stricture, bleeding ulcer, anemia, lost 90 lbs in 3 months (not 6 as told), 175 in 7 months. I am now down 250 lbs and find myself anorexic.

I have either puked up, gotten stuck on or burned out on...everything.... I have spent hours and hours in the grocery store trying to find anything that sounds...'okay'. I am afraid of food. I don't like going to restaurants or potlucks (ugh, even thinking about it I feel anxious).

I live in a major metropolitan city, but being a MALE on Medicare...it seems there is no support (I am told "there is simply no call for males with eating disorders). I have gone from being a compulsive overeater/binger to an anorexic. I have to MAKE myself eat/drink. My 'sobriety' is me getting in (MINIMUM) 113g Protein, 64 oz Water, 2250 calories. I have to make myself 'mindless eat' to get in calories. (it is no longer 'food' to me...it is 'nutritional opportunities'. not 'good' or 'bad'. it is substenance for my body. period.

I am told if I lose 6 more lbs we will talk 'reversal'. In order to be considered for 'skin surgery' I need to GAIN 10-15 lbs (as it will take OFF 10-20 lbs). I am 6'5" 205. HW 450, SW 381, GW 208 CW 205. I am 6'5" btw.

Anyone else? Life kind of sucks...still very weak, I don't work out as I am concerned I am not getting enough calories/protein. My hair is thinning, again. sigh.

[Jenna_P 5]

Sounds like you've had a really rough time. Well, the food fear I completely get. I've had similar problems trying to find foods I can eat that won't make me sick. Honestly, GENEPRO Protein Powder mixed with crystal light, Oikos Triple Zero yogurt, and popcorn (of all things) are about the only things that are consistently ok for me to eat without fear. I am 100% compliant on my Vitamins, and have added extra just to make sure I don't end up with deficiencies. If you need to get your calories up I would stick to slider foods - shakes made with Protein powder, yogurt, avocado (if you're ok with that). Up the fat IF YOU CAN - sometimes I have a lot of problems with fat so your mileage may vary. Add in some carbs if you can, normally they make me horribly sick and I seriously feel ill just thinking about ice cream/cookies/cake. As for social situations, I go, but I eat nothing at all. It was really weird at first but it makes it easier then feeling anxiety the whole time worrying if I can eat something or if it is going to make me sick. Just keep a glass in your hand and most people don't really notice. I just don't think of food as something that is pleasurable anymore. Maybe that's for the better? I would obsess over meal plans for the week like it was some kind of special project. Now I not only don't care about food but also have to force myself to eat. I'm starting to be ok with that, it's just the way things are now. Instead of thinking about food I've gone back to school while still working full time. Staying busy helps me not overthink things and get depressed about it.

[Healthy_life2 8,322]

22 hours ago, pendulum said:

I had RNY 2/9/17 (horrible surgeon/experience) Dr Michael D Williams in Atlanta, Ga- truly incompetent staff, zero follow up, lied to me many times.

Anyhow...I had the laundry list of issues (stricture, bleeding ulcer, anemia, lost 90 lbs in 3 months (not 6 as told), 175 in 7 months. I am now down 250 lbs and find myself anorexic.

I have either puked up, gotten stuck on or burned out on...everything.... I have spent hours and hours in the grocery store trying to find anything that sounds...'okay'. I am afraid of food. I don't like going to restaurants or potlucks (ugh, even thinking about it I feel anxious).

I live in a major metropolitan city, but being a MALE on Medicare...it seems there is no support (I am told "there is simply no call for males with eating disorders). I have gone from being a compulsive overeater/binger to an anorexic. I have to MAKE myself eat/drink. My 'sobriety' is me getting in (MINIMUM) 113g Protein, 64 oz Water, 2250 calories. I have to make myself 'mindless eat' to get in calories. (it is no longer 'food' to me...it is 'nutritional opportunities'. not 'good' or 'bad'. it is substenance for my body. period.

I am told if I lose 6 more lbs we will talk 'reversal'. In order to be considered for 'skin surgery' I need to GAIN 10-15 lbs (as it will take OFF 10-20 lbs). I am 6'5" 205. HW 450, SW 381, GW 208 CW 205. I am 6'5" btw.

Anyone else? Life kind of sucks...still very weak, I don't work out as I am concerned I am not getting enough calories/protein. My hair is thinning, again. sigh.

Sorry to hear about all you have experienced. You are in a major metropolitan city. Do you have a treatment center? Therapist that work with eating disorders? Can you attend a non gender specific support group?

Some links for eating disorder treatment and support.

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/forum

http://www.myproana.com/

http://www.anad.org/get-help/find-support-groups-treatment/

[Savagegirl 97]

Yes! Me. Or getting there. It’s very frustrating. I’m having a second dilation in three weeks and hope this one takes so I can eat more. I had surgery a year ago and lost 150lbs, but too fast! I got very nutrient deficient and developed like drop foot a little. Can’t wait to get past this and hope this dilation works. I need to put on some weight.

I’m very sorry for your situation and know it’s frustrating. My suggestion is to try and be more assertive about your need for counseling or care that will help you recover. I hope your primary physician can help even if your bypass surgeon won’t. Keep us posted!

[pendulum 6]

19 minutes ago, Savagegirl said:

Yes! Me. Or getting there. It’s very frustrating. I’m having a second dilation in three weeks and hope this one takes so I can eat more. I had surgery a year ago and lost 150lbs, but too fast! I got very nutrient deficient and developed like drop foot a little. Can’t wait to get past this and hope this dilation works. I need to put on some weight.

I’m very sorry for your situation and know it’s frustrating. My suggestion is to try and be more assertive about your need for counseling or care that will help you recover. I hope your primary physician can help even if your bypass surgeon won’t. Keep us posted!

---Simillar here. I am now so utterly baffled. I had to 'trick' msyelf into eating... Turns out the reason(s) for the severe nausea? a belly full of gallstones. Gallbladder removed 2 weeks ago. Which means I can eat again (but I had had to 'trick' myself into eating 'crap'...so I gained 15 lbs! crap. (so the depression goes BACK the other way ("Oh crap, now back to the 250 lbs I lost..." sigh. Today? NOTHING taste good (will be lucky to get 1000 calories in...(did 3000+ for the past 2-4 days....so confused) . Now struggling with suicidal feelings.

I don't 'fit' anywhere. not a binge-r, not an anorexic??? sigh.

[BostonWLKC 807]

Pendulum — I’m sorry you’re not doing well. Please, if you’re having suicidal thoughts- see someone ASAP. You’re worth it and it sounds necessary. Hugs.


HW 242, SW 236- (Bypass 12/20/17)
GW#1- 199 [emoji736] (2/11/18)
GW#2- 180 [emoji736] (4/2/18)
GW#3- 160
CW 175
5’6”

[Savagegirl 97]

I really hope you will get in to see a counselor very soon. Did you see one before surgery as part of insurance approval? You could go back to them? You are worth much more than your weight but I have a feeling that your depression may be related to much more. Please get help as soon as you can.

[BostonWLKC 807]

How are you feeling today@pendulum?


HW 242, SW 236- (Bypass 12/20/17)
GW#1- 199 [emoji736] (2/11/18)
GW#2- 180 [emoji736] (4/2/18)
GW#3- 160
CW 175
5’6”