Disgust about starting weight

[JanineVSG 93]

This is just a little rant about my number one pet peeve....

People mentioning their starting weight and talking about how disgusting it is really bugs me. Like, when people are saying they started at 250 lbs and putting a shocked or vomiting emoji (😱🤢) or whatever.

I get that it was a lot of weight to you. But a lot of us have starting weights of 400+ lbs. It would be a DREAM for me to weigh 250 lbs!! I haven't weighed that much since I was probably 17!

I know that this has like absolutely no real effect on our journeys, but it was bugging me. And what's a rant and raves forum for if not posts like this one?

Be nice to yourselves!! You had feelings at your SW too! Don't put yourselves down! Let's keep working hard!

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

20 minutes ago, honeyedlife said:

This is just a little rant about my number one pet peeve....

People mentioning their starting weight and talking about how disgusting it is really bugs me. Like, when people are saying they started at 250 lbs and putting a shocked or vomiting emoji (😱🤢) or whatever.

I get that it was a lot of weight to you. But a lot of us have starting weights of 400+ lbs. It would be a DREAM for me to weigh 250 lbs!! I haven't weighed that much since I was probably 17!

I know that this has like absolutely no real effect on our journeys, but it was bugging me. And what's a rant and raves forum for if not posts like this one?

Be nice to yourselves!! You had feelings at your SW too! Don't put yourselves down! Let's keep working hard!

Honestly, I get your rant and pet peeve.

It annoys me when people much smaller complain about losing 20 pounds. To me that is vanity pounds. Ugg I had so much more to lose than these people. My weight has always been a struggle.

We all start somewhere on the obesity spectrum. I try not to judge anyone for a low or high BMI.

Everyone of us fight for every pound lost. This is not easy. We are all here for the same reasons. We want our health and our lives back.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

@jenn1 is so right!

@honeyedlife Everyone is going through this journey because they are overweight. No bariatric surgeon would preform this on someone who isn't. That being said, people with low BMI's also have their own struggles.. Low BMI's will see smaller weight loss numbers, which can really affect their emotional journeys. For someone like you and I who started off high, we will see BIG loss and right away. However, that being said.. I've lost 58lbs, 7 weeks post op and I've BARELY gotten anyone to notice who didn't know I was having weight loss surgery. It takes a lot for us to get to the phase where it shows.

Needless to say, everyone's journey is different. Stay strong. Stay positive. We are always here for your rants

Edited March 9, 2018 by AshAsh1

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

I can understand your sentiment. It can be difficult to hear ppl complain when they are at a weight that you may be happy to be at, but it’s all a very highly individualized thing.

I try to keep things in perspective. I see people my age or younger with Stage 4 cancer, or chronic kidney disease that need dialysis, or worse. Would these people trade their health problems with me? Does me being obese seem a better bargain to them compared to what they face on a daily basis?

I feel awful that I allowed my own health to spiral out of control, but at least I have a chance to change that where many people really do not. Whether you have 200 pounds to lose or 100 pounds to lose or 50 pounds to lose the struggles are actually pretty darn similar.

May we all succeed in our journeys!

[Creekimp13 5,840]

To expand on your rant....(and I loved your rant by the way, spot on!)

It makes me nuts to see heavy moms talk about themselves in derogatory terms....with their overweight children standing right next to them. (this happened at a group support meeting I attended recently...saw the look on daughter's face and felt so bad for her)

Every time mom says....I'm so fat, I'm disgusting... What does that kiddo think mom thinks of them?

Mom of course would trip all over herself and say.....Oh, but Honey, YOU'RE not fat, you're not the person I was talking about! But in reality...if the kiddo is struggling with their own weight issues...as often is the case....I've seen kids metabolize it that way....that mom's self loathing means she dislikes them for the same reasons. And I hate to be sexist....this can go the same way for overweight Dad's comments, too.

It's a blind spot of a lot of people have.

They're upset about the fat, and want to lash out at the fat....but they really need to be mindful of others who are struggling with the same issues....getting hit by friendly fire....particularly people who are close to them.

Don't be a self loathing fat person.

Be a fat-compassionate healthier person:)

[GreenTealael 25,439]

Hmmm... IDK if I can agree with this and here's a meme why...

[JanineVSG 93]

Great replies everybody. I want to be clear that I don't think that people who started with a low BMI have it easier! What I'm saying is... people need to be cognizant that there a lot of people who start off with really high BMIs. So when you talk about how fat and disgusting you were at a certain weight, you might be talking about someone's goal weight. Does that make sense?? It can just be hard, PERSONALLY, to see someone talking about how disgusting it was to be, say, 50 lbs overweight when you have over 200 lbs to lose. You know?

[JanineVSG 93]

2 hours ago, jenn1 said:

Honestly, I get your rant and pet peeve.

It annoys me when people much smaller complain about losing 20 pounds. To me that is vanity pounds. Ugg I had so much more to lose than these people. My weight has always been a struggle.

We all start somewhere on the obesity spectrum. I try not to judge anyone for a low or high BMI.

Everyone of us fight for every pound lost. This is not easy. We are all here for the same reasons. We want our health and our lives back.

"Vanity pounds" is a great word for it. It's crazy because someone with a low BMI would look drastically different with a 20 lb lost. But I can relate to you. Everytime I see how much more I have to go on my surgery ticker my heart feels a little heavy! We all have to work hard on our journey. I'm not trying to discount that at all. I have to try harder not to make kneejerk judgments on people with lower BMI. No one wants to be a bitter ex fatty lol! Thank you for the reply.

[JanineVSG 93]

2 hours ago, AshAsh1 said:

@jenn1 is so right!

@honeyedlife Everyone is going through this journey because they are overweight. No bariatric surgeon would preform this on someone who isn't. That being said, people with low BMI's also have their own struggles.. Low BMI's will see smaller weight loss numbers, which can really affect their emotional journeys. For someone like you and I who started off high, we will see BIG loss and right away. However, that being said.. I've lost 58lbs, 7 weeks post op and I've BARELY gotten anyone to notice who didn't know I was having weight loss surgery. It takes a lot for us to get to the phase where it shows.

Needless to say, everyone's journey is different. Stay strong. Stay positive. We are always here for your rants

It's weird, because we with higher BMIs do have a big loss (though mine's not so big because I lost 45 lbs preop) but it feels like a drop in the bucket sometimes I didn't really have people noticing until I dropped 50 lbs, either. Thank you for the reply.

[JanineVSG 93]

2 hours ago, KimTriesRNY said:

I can understand your sentiment. It can be difficult to hear ppl complain when they are at a weight that you may be happy to be at, but it’s all a very highly individualized thing.

I try to keep things in perspective. I see people my age or younger with Stage 4 cancer, or chronic kidney disease that need dialysis, or worse. Would these people trade their health problems with me? Does me being obese seem a better bargain to them compared to what they face on a daily basis?

I feel awful that I allowed my own health to spiral out of control, but at least I have a chance to change that where many people really do not. Whether you have 200 pounds to lose or 100 pounds to lose or 50 pounds to lose the struggles are actually pretty darn similar.

May we all succeed in our journeys!

You're right. Perspective is everything. You've given me a lot to think about.

[JanineVSG 93]

Whoops, double post!!

Edited March 10, 2018 by honeyedlife

[JanineVSG 93]

59 minutes ago, Creekimp13 said:

To expand on your rant....(and I loved your rant by the way, spot on!)

It makes me nuts to see heavy moms talk about themselves in derogatory terms....with their overweight children standing right next to them. (this happened at a group support meeting I attended recently...saw the look on daughter's face and felt so bad for her)

Every time mom says....I'm so fat, I'm disgusting... What does that kiddo think mom thinks of them?

Mom of course would trip all over herself and say.....Oh, but Honey, YOU'RE not fat, you're not the person I was talking about! But in reality...if the kiddo is struggling with their own weight issues...as often is the case....I've seen kids metabolize it that way....that mom's self loathing means she dislikes them for the same reasons. And I hate to be sexist....this can go the same way for overweight Dad's comments, too.

It's a blind spot of a lot of people have.

They're upset about the fat, and want to lash out at the fat....but they really need to be mindful of others who are struggling with the same issues....getting hit by friendly fire....particularly people who are close to them.

Don't be a self loathing fat person.

Be a fat-compassionate healthier person:)

Wow, that's so sad! I can relate to that... my mom took me to Weight Watchers from a very young age (at least 8 years old). She would constantly complain about how fat she was, even though she was probably only 175 at her heaviest. It made me feel so bad when she would talk about how fat she was, when my highest weight was 456 lbs. My dad is similar -- he's overweight but he'd just tell me to stop eating, as if it were that easy!

You're right. It's a blind spot. But as a lot of others have said, each journey is intensely personal. But people should be aware of that and sympathetic to others. "Fat-compassionate" is a GREAT way to put it!! We've all had the struggles, we shouldn't judge others for their starting weights.

There's a great poem about how your parents can influence your life. Look up "This Be The Verse" by Phillip Larkin

[GreenTealael 25,439]

And yet...

[frust8 963]

I have a cousin, her name is Linda, I can tell it because she never would darken B.P. She is normally a perfect size 2, I know she is a size 2 because she has told me often enough plus informing me she was perfect! Yeah, one of THOSE! We were pregnant at the same time, this was baby#3, I was busy also brewing up gallstones so was nauseous quite frequently. Ms Linda walked into our mutual relative's house and announced loudly in my presence "Oh I just hate this, my waist has gotten up to 27 inches" do you know how much I would have given to have a 27 inch waist? My waist hadn't been that small since I was 11 and weighed 110 pounds. I felt 3 things: Anger at little Ms Smartmouth. Pity for my big pregnant body with the swollen ankles. And last a barely restrained urge to knock her on her rump. And that's my story.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

4 hours ago, honeyedlife said:

I want to be clear that I don't think that people who started with a low BMI have it easier! What I'm saying is... people need to be cognizant that there a lot of people who start off with really high BMIs. So when you talk about how fat and disgusting you were at a certain weight, you might be talking about someone's goal weight. Does that make sense?? It can just be hard, PERSONALLY, to see someone talking about how disgusting it was to be, say, 50 lbs overweight when you have over 200 lbs to lose. You know?

I do absolutely get what you are saying though.

When gastric bypass came out, it was intended to help the morbidly obese lose weight. I doubt someone that was 25 with a lower BMI would be someone they would have even operated on.

Most people in general aren’t thinking of others when they make random comments. People just aren’t that thoughtful and it’s not likely to change.