Scared thinking of canceling surgery

[Sarahrosesb 12]

Hello,

I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

[Dm0417 17]

Hello,
I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

Remember this is about HEALTH. If you had to have surgery for cancer would they be against it. My brother died a year ago. he weighed over 400 lbs. refused to go to the Drs. I was having breathing issues and had many times I thought I would die in my sleep. I was band failure and had revision to bypass. I'm not sorry. 7 weeks out 35lbs down.

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[frust8 963]

No no lapband, too many people have failures and have to be sleeved later. Very few surgeon's still are doing them these days. I am a BMI,47 and I will be having a RnY. There are many people who have backed out of attempt #1. to a man they all say they wish they had done it the first-time and regret the time they wasted waiting. Do it, you know you want it. Sure you love your family, most of us do. But you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for yourself. If you don't it will be your body and your health that will suffer. Cool hard bottom line. We love you also, but listen to someone who has drug a fat painful body around for 72 long years, it ain't worth it to wait! I'm going to have surgery myself, it will be a lot easier for you and you'll bounce back quicker. You probably won't have the loose skin I'll have, my skin is also tired and worn. But I'm going forward, please join me?

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[Sarahrosesb 12]

Thank you I needed that ❤️

[Sarahrosesb 12]

12 minutes ago, Dm0417 said:

Remember this is about HEALTH. If you had to have surgery for cancer would they be against it. My brother died a year ago. he weighed over 400 lbs. refused to go to the Drs. I was having breathing issues and had many times I thought I would die in my sleep. I was band failure and had revision to bypass. I'm not sorry. 7 weeks out 35lbs down.

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I’m very sorry to hear about your brother. You comment means a lot to me.

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

Don’t do the band, it doesn’t seem to show the long term success rate. It’s a shame your family doesn’t want you to be healthy and happy.

[KatFight 207]

Just the word “surgery” can cause family and friends to worry. And, it’s the unconditional love of our family which sometimes can put rose-colored glasses on when it comes to us. So rather than see your size and. The potential health risks, they look at you and see your beauty.

You see the danger in not doing something and that’s why you’ve come this far. I actually went to a WLS seminar 7ish years ago and considered the band; however, the doctor at that hospital was very arrogant. I didn’t want to go to someone with that demeanor. The next 7 years I continued to try on my own. Finally, last July I saw a surgeon at a different hospital who was great. I had surgery 12/28/17. Gastric sleeve.

After surgery I wondered why I had been nervous. My experience was easy - no sore throat, no nausea, no trouble drinking, no vomiting, and little trouble walking. I did have pain with most of it in the first two days (the gas pain is tough but not impossible). I was in and out in 22 hours with only Tylenol. I did have bruises all over my stomach and soreness. A large, rectangular medical ice pack helped a lot.

My surgeon told me that it’s 50/50 - those who it’s easier for and those it’s not. I only regret not going to this hospital 7ish years ago. Who knows? Your experience could be easier than you think I sure hope so 🌻

[BuffaloBill 168]

Go watch some YouTube videos. JerseyJules was great for me before I had surgery 20 weeks ago

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[sideeye 1,440]

Since this is "elective" surgery, a lot of family members freak out about it. But guess what else is "elective"? Knee replacements, hip replacements, all of the invasive procedures done to keep your joints working. I told my family I'm doing one "elective" surgery now with the goal of never having to do another surgery.

And yeah, your family is probably glomming on to the band because it's the only one that's reversible, but when I was in pre-op I saw a board of surgeries for the day and there were three band removals listed. I'm sure your family haven't looked into it deeply enough to realize that.

At the end of the day, it's your decision. Their opinion is important, but take it as an expression of how much they care for you. It's a huge mistake to allow someone else's fears to undermine your own diligent research. Explain to them why you're doing it, why the sleeve is best, and just stand your ground.

[allwet 868]

Oh Sara, please don't let someone else talk you out of this.

I also had never been "put under" hell i had never been in a hospital except to be born. All my contacts with hospitals had to do with visiting someone and i even avoided that when i could. So i was just a little nervous (insert terrified) about the idea. That One moment of fear has been replaced with day after day and now month after month of improving Health and an improved Life. The last time i was "skinny" i was in 10 grade. 7 months ago i was taking pills for blood pressure and diabetes and my sleep apnea was so bad my doctor said i aged her 5 years when my sleep study came in. The lack of deep sleep for more than 2 years had made me lose large parts of my short term memory. i had to write everything down as it happened to refer back because a day or 2 later i would not even remember seeing someone or having talked to them.

Today i take no meds at all and i sleep 9 hrs every night and i havent fallen asleep in the daytime since surgery.

Pls dont let a very short term fear about a procedure that has a very low complication rate stop you from having a much healthier and happier life. It will be worth it. Stay strong for a few more weeks and you will have a chance at a different life. This surgery is a chance to live in a different way that is both harder (mental ) and easier at the same time. I had truly forgotten what it was like to go about my day without my weight being a consideration in any way.

I still have what i call the HARD 50 to go but i have already won this cause i feel amazing and i feel alive and i could not have said that 7 months ago.

Pls dont give up when you are so close.

Edited March 8, 2018 by allwet

[Seahawks Fan 771]

3 hours ago, Sarahrosesb said:

Hello,

I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

I was scheduled for sleeve on May 30, 2017 I was in the hospital with the IV in my arm and I backed out at the last second. That was a decision I regret to this day. I eventually got sleeved January 18 but I sure wish I could go back and have it done on the 30th. I guess that’s what it takes in order for your addiction to food to be realized!

[Sarahrosesb 12]

Thank you for your comment. I’m so scared right now😔. I have to start my liquid diet tomorrow and I pretty much need to decide by then.

[Sarahrosesb 12]

4 hours ago, allwet said:

Oh Sara, please don't let someone else talk you out of this.

I also had never been "put under" hell i had never been in a hospital except to be born. All my contacts with hospitals had to do with visiting someone and i even avoided that when i could. So i was just a little nervous (insert terrified) about the idea. That One moment of fear has been replaced with day after day and now month after month of improving Health and an improved Life. The last time i was "skinny" i was in 10 grade. 7 months ago i was taking pills for blood pressure and diabetes and my sleep apnea was so bad my doctor said i aged her 5 years when my sleep study came in. The lack of deep sleep for more than 2 years had made me lose large parts of my short term memory. i had to write everything down as it happened to refer back because a day or 2 later i would not even remember seeing someone or having talked to them.

Today i take no meds at all and i sleep 9 hrs every night and i havent fallen asleep in the daytime since surgery.

Pls dont let a very short term fear about a procedure that has a very low complication rate stop you from having a much healthier and happier life. It will be worth it. Stay strong for a few more weeks and you will have a chance at a different life. This surgery is a chance to live in a different way that is both harder (mental ) and easier at the same time. I had truly forgotten what it was like to go about my day without my weight being a consideration in any way.

I still have what i call the HARD 50 to go but i have already won this cause i feel amazing and i feel alive and i could not have said that 7 months ago.

Pls dont give up when you are so close.

Thank you for your support it’s greatly appreciated. I want a new life so bad! This fear though is debilitating and I literally have four days till surgery. My family is praying for me that I make the right decision so I’m gonna leave it to God right now. Being in this body is like a prison though I have lost out on so much opportunities you would think it would be a easy decision but my fear is in control 😩. Again thank you!

[Mere228 17]

I’m just throwing my two cents out there hun.. I am in the beginning stages AGAIN with doing vsg...I chickened our last year and I really regret it! I don’t go for my first consultation till the end of the month and I wish I was in your spot ready to join the losers bench. This life is hard and like you my family is against it but I need to do this for me for my health and my life so I completely understand how your feeling and we are all here for you. I have faith this will all work out and you will do amazingly! Hugs hun and I wish you amazing luck:)

[Mattymatt 491]

Your fear is understandable because this is a life changing procedure that you are having done. With any change, there is some good and some bad. Overall, though, I believe that you will find the balance of the change to be good. You've come this far and it hasn't been easy to get here - Just Do It. I am only 4 days away now from mine and I am fully committed to getting it done.