Seriously Thinking About Backing Out

[MollyBrown 0]

I am totally freaking out... I have been thinking about this for two years. When I finally decided to do it, after much reading and research, my insurance changes and I am able to get approved in less then a month. I am scheduled to have surgery 11/09 and have the time to take off from work (although I really need to be there because things are crazy).

I should be counting my blessings, but after only one day of trying to do the pre-surgery liquid diet I have failed and I am absolutely freaked out. I tried the stupid Designer whey and I literally gagged three different times. The smell and the taste were so gross. What if I can’t find a liquid Protein that I can get down?

I guess I did not expect things to go so easily, and I should feel ashamed of myself when there are so many self-pays or people with difficult insurances who are absolutely sure this is the right thing for them. I feel that I have not had enough time to say good-bye to food. I know it really isn't a true good bye, but it could be if my body does not acclimate to the band like some others on this forum. I actually think I could live without cake the rest of my life, but the thought of never eating asparagus or broccoli or steak again, I am not sure if I can live with that.

What in the hell am I doing? Am I undermining my long term health if I back out? The idea of the surgery is freaking me out, the idea of not eating a normal diet for 6 weeks freaks me out. And ironically it sounds like when the band does not work, it makes eating those foods that got me here so much easier than eating the truly healthy foods that I like but eat to much of…Lord help me figure this thing out...

:help:

MollyBrown

Surgery Date: 11/09/07 Dr Singh-Maryland

Weight: 285lbs. Goal Weight: 170 lbs.

Age: 44

[Longhorn 1]

You've brought up several issues and only you can determine what the true underlying cause is of your hesitation.

However, regarding Protein, there are ways to handle that situation. My first suggestion would be to go to a store that sells Protein supplements and ask to taste a sample. I know my GNC store will do that. Also, many sites that sell protein, such as powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury, have samples that you can order.

Second, there are other ways to get your protein besides the whey supplements. For example, SlimFast low-carb has 20 grams of protein per shake so you would only need three shakes a day to get to 60 grams of protein. Also, my nutritionist recommended adding egg white powder to sugar-free Jello (when you prepare it.) That would add 11.5 grams of protein per serving.

As far as saying goodbye to food, I honestly believe that it IS temporary and once I start to see some results, I will be happy to give it up for awhile. I thought it would be impossible for me to give up Diet Coke but I haven't even missed it! I'm drinking Diet Snapple and Propel instead.

I'm sure the band isn't for everybody but do consider that this may be just a temporary emotional reaction to your protein situation, which really can be resolved. Good luck!

[Sue Magoo 71]

Molly:

If you're not ready, you're not ready. Let me ask you a few questions though:

Do your feet hurt all the time?

Do you hate clothes shopping because you'll be going up a size again?

Do you get out of breath just walking ten feet?

Do you worry about sitting in a chair because you're not sure it will hold you?

Do you worry about being around in twenty years because you've carried way too many pounds for way too many years?

Do you have comorbidities that will send you to your grave early?

I'm 48 years old, so I know what it's like to be in your forties and near 300 pounds. I weighed 324 six months ago. I was banded three months ago. I feel and look like a new person and I don't regret it for a minute. My only regret is that I didn't do it two years ago.

But, you have to do what is right for you. You might just be getting cold feet, maybe not.

Good luck and I hope better health for you in the near future, whichever decision you make.

Take care.

Sue

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I agree that just because you can't do that type of protien means you are a failure. Good protien is personal I believe! What works for one person may not work for another.

It maybe that you are actually not ready right now. I think Long is right there is some underlying reason for wanting to back out. Most of us have second thoughts, I cna tell you 110% I thank God everyday I didn't back out on my surgery and I thought about it, but now I can't imagine my life overweight anymore!

I hope you can figure out what you really want. Remember pre op is temporary, and we all did it. You can do it if you want to! Good luck!

Hugs

[transformer 1]

It can be scary to think about totally changing your lifestyle, but as Sue Magoo pointed out, are things really going all that great for you right now? I'm assuming that there are things you want to change if you are considering this surgery.

You'll have to decide if eating certain foods you really enjoy is more important than improving your health in the long run. It isn't easy to make radical changes--I suggest making a list of the pros and cons of going through with the surgery. That might help clarify things for you.

As for me, I've lost well over 50 pounds at this point--my next official weigh-in at the doctor's office is this Thursday so I'll update my ticker then. I have tons more energy, have improved my blood pressure and cholesterol levels, and have already lost several dress sizes. I am no longer a borderline diabetic either. I have never regretted going through with the surgery or second guessed my decision.

As the others have said, this is a personal decision and it will be up to you to decide what course is the best one for you to take!

[mylapspirit 2]

Molly,

The preop part of the diet is the hardest part especially the first three days. If you can make it the first three then things will get better - I promise. Have you tried Carnation Instant Breakfast - No Sugar Added. It's not too bad if you doctor it up a little bit with vanilla, a scoop of unflavored Protein, ice cubes, etc.

I was so scared Molly before the surgery. I hadn't been in the hospital since 1972 and it just blew my mind that I was electing to have the surgery. But if you trust your surgeon and yourself and your willing to at least try to make the changes to the best of your ability I can guarantee that you will not be sorry. I was so afraid that I couldn't change my way of thinking with food. But I just took each stage one step at a time and it just kept getting easier and easier and I am so happy with the results. I now have "hope" that I can get to under 200 pounds and live and have a better life. I haven't had hope in years because I failed so many times with Weight Watchers, etc.

Many people on this site have felt as you have before the surgery but most I bet do not have any regrets.

Don't give up - okay?

If you need to write you can PM me and I will help you with anything you need.

Take care,

shelli:girl_hug:

[new_me_2008 1]

I agree with everything that has been said. If you have pondered this for so long - why would you give up now??? I have been banded for 4 weeks now and here is what I wrote a while back:

Newly banded thx,BOOBOO,JULIENYC,WAS Bubble,Ghost, Wheetin,Tracy

I am sitting here, 10 days after my banding and feel the need to write. I relied heavily on these boards (lurker) prior to making my decision and even more once the decision was made and surgery was looming.

As I read the boards, they are filled with questions and some of them highlight the things that can cause discomfort and pain which is helpful because I am sure that we can all agree that we do not get enough time to ask our doctor. Also, who better to provide to give guidance than those that have walked the path in front you? These honest opinions, good and bad, are the reason that I finally made the jump into the banded way of life.

I fear that many may drop in to see what this life is like and see the many issues that come with a major operation, complete change of life and the inevitable ups and down of weight loss. I noticed that my posts were focusing on all of the 'pain' of the surgery and none of the positives so that is why I am writing.

Here is why today, I feel as good or better than I have ever felt:

• I was lucky to have the ability to self pay (sacrifice to my family but I will make it up to them)
  
• I was able to find a great surgeon
  
• I was able to be in and out of surgery and back to my home in 5 hours
  
• I was able to read all of the great posts about what to have along with me and learn to live on GAS X (thank goodness)
  
• I am able to experience the feeling of hunger - I cant remember when I ever felt this before as I was a world class grazer
  
• I was able to recover so well in 10 days that I can barely even tell that I had surgery - wonder sometimes if I even did!
  
• Walked to lunch today - unbelieveable statement, never exercised before
  
• I am able to read great posts by Jack, BOO BOO, JULIENYC, WAS Bubble, Ghost, Wheetin, TracyinKS, Chickie and many more, who show me that there is more to life than food, cravings will pass, weight loss is possible and exercise can be fun. (not to mention that Plastic Surgery is doable)
  
• I was able to read peoples posts who are very close in date to mine, AMY, RAINER, and others who made the process more real and not so scary.
  
• I am able to choose to quit complaining about the minimal discomfort that has come from what will be a life changing operation. This was hard, boy was I whining yesterday!
  
• I am able to make it thru a work day not obsessing about dinner (even when I am hungry!) not falling asleep at my desk from carb overload, nor eating a drawer full of candy...who da thunk it?
  
• I am able to experience weightloss with the hope that I am doing this sensibly and in a way that can be permanent.

In the end, you posters have solved every concern that I had and helped through this doorway into a new life. I should have done this long ago, but now that I have, I will continue to look to you all for support as I am sure to stumble along the way.

Those of you considering it or on your way to surgery - Do it! Don't get sidetracked by the complaints of the actual surgery and look to the future!

Thanks,

Tina

[juliegeraci 7]

Don't be ashamed of yourself. The liquid diet phase is not easy. Do you have a GNC close by? They have a great Protein Shake in soy and whey. I would try their chocolate. Good luck.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Awwww Tina, I am honored truly! Thank you! And best of success to you! I am sure you are going to do a smashing job!

BIG BIG HUGS!

==

[Chrisann 0]

In one of my previous weight loss tries, I was on doctor supervised medifast, back when I was 22, and it was all liquids. I had a rough time the first couple of days, but took the chocolate shakes and blended in strawberries. I know it wasn't approved and all, but it made it go down a little smoother. I lasted all of 6 weeks.

Now I have been drinking slim fast 3 times a week for Breakfast only, for the past 6 weeks. The vanilla is pretty good, and if you are a coffee drinker, the cappucino is pretty good too.

I dread the liquid diet after the surgery, but I dread being put under for the surgery more.

[MollyBrown 0]

Thank you all for responding...

Sue Magoo really got me with her list of questions. My feet are killing me. Both feet are trying to disable me with repeated bouts of plantar faciaitis which is really painful and limits my exercise. I have enough energy to work, take care of errands, and then collapse. Clothes shopping is absolutely mortifying....size 24-26.

Today I have made it through with the liquids (or liquid like stuff). I did not have much to eat though because my Designer whey made me gag. I've tried the Atkins Advantage Premix (low sugars as I am diabetic) strawberry flavor. It was not horrible the time I tried it before. This morning I had one and it tasted like tin can. I had a workmate try it to see if I was having a Vitamin aftertaste or something. She tasted it and said it was bad. I opened another and it was fine. I had two cans of chicken broth and two yogurts. Not enough Water, Protein or calories. Tomorrow I will be visiting a GNC to get some Isopure. I am really hopeful that I like the taste of these because I like the thinner stuff, the thicker chocolate drinks kind of make me gag too. I am wondering if powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury is truly tasteless because Designer Whey Natural was supposed to be and it definitely is not.

Yesterday I thought I was dead serious about backing out. Today I am thinking that having the surgery is the right thing to do. I am terrified of the surgery. Literally scared to death. I am worried about what I will eat and what I won't be able to eat. I guess I am just worried in general and I need to get over it and do this thing... Thank you all for being there and responding. I hope I don't have another freak out session between now and the 9th, but if I do, it is a comfort knowing I can vent and you all will talk me in from the ledge....

Did everyone else have a few of these worrying jags because going through with it? What was the worst part so I can expect it? What was the best part of your journey so far. Maybe this will help me when I am feeling weak in my resolve...

Sincerely,

Molly

[happysilly307 0]

Hi Molly,

YES I had your feelings, even as late as last week. I am being banded day after tomorrow and I am just SOOOOO ready to get on with it. I have been eating SO much that I have made myslef sick and disgusted. I was not put on a prediet surg due to low BMI. This food fest has shown me once and for all that I am powerless over food. God led me to the Lap Band and with His help, and my surgeon's, I will have a normal life where EVERYTHING is not defined by what I eat, what I weighed at a particular event, etc. I want to FEEL GOOD. THis will help.

Meantime, hurry up Weds!!!!!

Ginny

[ivyrose325 0]

I never doubted having the surgery but I did have a major case of COLD FEET about the actual operation. I had a c-section in May 2006 and I had many many complications healing from it ( partly because I was so overweight). So I had some reservations about having another surgery so soon. I was preparing to have surgery for months, but then I got a call from my dr's office that there was a cancellation in 5 days' time and it was the only availibility for the next few weeks. So I went with it! I didn't sleep much leading up to my surgery date. I was nervous, but I knew it would be worth it. Tomorrow it will be 3 months, and I'm already down 50 pounds!! I feel better everyday

Good luck to you

[Big Fred 0]

Molly Brown,

I was banded on October 25th, I can honestly say it has been the best thing that I ever did for myself. We all feel the angst of having surgery, I went in expecting the worst and truly it has been a great experience.

Yes you wake up in some pain, but the drugs work to ease that. I was totaly off any pain medication after the second day. Today I walked the track at school and did a quarter mile - feel great.

The liquid diet sucks (just telling the truth), but think about it - its a small price to pay for a new you. And to be honest, I really do not have any hunger pains.

So, hang in there. Only you can make the decision. But take some advice from the people here who have gone through it - you are not alone.

Good luck

374 - Started journey - 3/07

348 - Day of Surgery - 10/25

338 - 5 days after Surgey - 10/30

[Kat817 19]

Yep, I had the panic hit a few times before surgery!! I believe it to be normal. I read things on here, and scoured the before and after thread, for inspiration. I would find a person who had similar stats to mine, and see where I could go! I would see someone with a similar shape, and see the improvement. I knew I needed the surgery, or some miracle. I was scared to death I would die and no one could lift my casket. More scared of that than the surgery!

I would not hold much hope for liking the Isopure to be honest. It is not yummy. It is however helpful! I drank it. They also make test tubes of high Protein shots---you can shoot those like a dose of medicine and get on with your life, and sip away at liquid you like---and Water, lots of Water.< /strong>

I am thankful everyday I sucked it up, and had surgery. I consider it one of the very best things I have ever done for me.

I think you will continue to receive responses from others who had massive panic attacks, and some who may have even backed out, only to follow through at a later date. It was not really a hard decision for me to make, as much as it was hard for me to admit how out of control I was, and how unlikely it was that I could ever do it any other way. It almost seemed like admitting a failure. I am so glad I went through with my surgery---life is so much easier without that 100 pounds---wish I had done it years ago!

Welcome, and feel free to vent, question, just talk away any fears, we will do our best to understand and help!

Kat