Long Term Lifestyle

[Betty-911 2]

Hello all, I am new to this forum. I just attended my first doctor's appointment in a possible road to weight loss surgery. I'm going back and forth on the whole thing. I keep telling myself that maybe I can just diet instead, but I've been heavy since I was a young child so obviously none of my efforts have been long lasting. I lost a significant amount of weight about 9 years ago, but I started regaining within a year.

What I'm most scared of in regards to surgery is the long term life that I would be living. So the question I'm posing to anyone who had gastric bypass say...3 or more years ago is...how is life? Are you able to live a "normal" life? I have seen a lot of people discussing their diet who are a year or 2 out of surgery, but I am wondering how it is further out. Can you occasionally go to a restaurant with friends and enjoy a reasonably healthy-ish meal? Can you have a drink or 2? Can you ever eat sushi rolls, pizza, or a sandwich with bread again? I realize that the vast majority of the time is spent adhering to the diet, and that's understandable, reasonable and necessary. However if you really had a taste for something or were at a party with no other options, could you have a small to average portion of something like the foods listed above once in a great while? Or is your whole life spent looking for grilled chicken and always having a special meal.

I want to do this, but I hope it's a lifestyle I can live with. Thank you and congrats to you all, everyone looks wonderful!

[Creekimp13 5,840]

I'm about three months out. I've already tried sushi, pizza and bread. I used to love them all. Now, it's just weird. It's so different. These foods are not that enjoyable anymore. They're not "relief" anymore. Wish I knew how to explain what happened to me after surgery....because it's sort of disturbing and really difficult to put into words. And I remember reading posts like mine and thinking the poster sounded fake...and like they were trying to talk themselves into "being good". And that's not what i'm saying at all.

I get what you're saying in your post....and from the perspective of someone pre-surg...I totally understand your desire to hang on to a little piece of your comfort/celebration food habit.

But from my perspective post surgically...I've gotta tell you....you will very likely change in ways you don't expect.

I'm not saying..."i'm proud that I don't enjoy naughty foods anymore because I'm self disciplined and make better choices!!" I'm saying... "I loved food. Food was a tool I used to cope with stress...and now, it just doesn't work...and while I'm grateful that I seem to be breaking the addiction.....it sort of scares the hell out of me. Losing an emotional crutch is very very hard. Sometimes I feel kinda lost. it's unsettling."

Sometimes I really wish I COULD enjoy eating bread and pizza in the same way I used to....sometimes I wish I had that coping mechanism back. Sometimes I wish it still tasted so amazing that I could block everything else out for a while....like I used to.

But your body changes. I don't crave sushi anymore because I know the rice is too much...It won't feel good. I don't crave or want pizza for the same reason. Once in a while I crave a little fresh baked bread. A ver y little bit...a tiny half slice of whole wheat is good once in a while. But cold bread holds no interest for me anymore...and I was such a bread addict.

All I can say here...is that all of your preconceived notions about what you'll want and what you'll feel like after surgery....are probably really flawed.

You're wondering if you'll be able to find your happy eating place again someday...and enjoy foods in the same way you always have. The answer for me...was no. Everything has changed. When your stomach only holds a few ounces....party food isn't an important focus of your life anymore. For better or for worse...your life and your relationship with food...change significantly.

[dreamangel1974 38]

I’m in the same boat! Everything else I’ve tried has failed, so I know that WLS is the absolute best chance for me to get to a healthy weight and stay there. It is a huge decision though, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I think it is perfectly normal for us to have these thoughts and feelings at this stage in our journey. We need to explore every pro and con so that we are ready to live with the negatives as well as the positives of this life altering decision!

Let’s be honest, none of us would be here if we didn’t love food! I’ve been having some “food funerals” with some of my favorite fast food and heavy carb meals. Not binging...just savoring every bite. I think a huge key for me will be experimenting with Protein focused meals and finding healthy recipes I enjoy. The foodie in me won’t settle for dry chicken breast with a few boring vegetables for the rest of my life. With that being said, I am hoping that with a reduced appetite and capacity for food, that it will finally be dethroned from it’s prominent place in my life!

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Thank you dreamangel1974 and creekimp, strange I feel this detachment with many foods. Tomkitten gets peeved with me, aw come on eat some with me! I asked do you realize after my surgery I WILL NOT be eating the same things as you and never in the same amounts? Don't believe until that point he had realized how profoundly my life will change. There. will be no more French toast with gooey sticky Syrup, sure I might make it for him but I won't be taking part. A lot of the foods I used to eat I've already divorced myself from. In some respects I feel semi-anorexic, I don't want it, the thought of it is so repugnant it comes close to nauseating me. Is this normal or should I be talking this over with a therapist? Oh that frightens me considering my recent past, "creek" you know what I'm talking about.Maybe I should go to bed and put my worries on hold until tomorrow? Girls please give me your viewpoint on this.

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[vze4n4n8 22]

Im at two weeks and ordered a kids meal at red lobster of broiled tilipia and mashed potatoes i couldnt eat it all but its on my list of acceptable foods now and i had surgery feb 9

[JohnnyCakes 593]

your life will no longer be normal.

it will become extraordinary.

[Sunnyday25 172]

Your relationship with food will change especially if you take on therapy during this process. It becomes so much more enjoyable and you truly enjoy what you are eating. I know I am not even at a year yet but I am putting in the work and I see the shift it my thoughts every day. When I go out with my husband we go to better places because the bill is going to be the same aka I don't drink and then I order an appetizer I have always loved carpaccio and now I get to have it way more!!! When we go out with the kids I may or may not order food it all depends on where we are going and if I don't I take a small portion from someone and find myself really enjoying the time with my kids we eat and talk and no longer go silent when food is placed in front of us.

[Sadiebug 206]

I'm a little over a year out and much like others have said my relationship with food has completely changed. I'm no longer controlled by food - but I certainly can still enjoy things and have no problems enjoying dinner out or a night out with friends/family. Obviously my serving sizes are a lot smaller so I take a lot of food home or share plates with others. The big difference is that now I actually enjoy the people and places instead of being completely focused on the food or drink involved. We travel several times a year and go on cruises at least once a year so I was really worried about that pre-surgery because those were always my times to let go and 'cheat'. But, I haven't had any problems so far and in fact I notice that I enjoy our vacations so much more because I'm healthier and lighter and can do more but also I'm just more focused on the activities vs. it all revolving around food. It is so hard to explain how things change...I know before surgery I would have never believed this is possible. I was 100% controlled by food and my life revolved around it. Now I just feel like a normal person. I eat to fuel my body. Sometimes I eat because I want to taste something different/special but in those situations it is literally just a taste and I move on with my life.

[blizair09 3,250]

I'm 17 months post-op (today, actually). I eat completely for fuel now. Yes, I do like the things I eat, but it is mostly dense Protein (3 oz of chicken breast, turkey, ground beef, pork or salmon) and 1.5 oz of green vegetables. I have 1 jumbo egg and a piece of bacon every morning, and some days I'll have 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with 1 T of sugar free strawberry preserves mixed in.

That's it for me. I do have red wine when I am traveling for work (which is pretty often), but other than that, my food life is about meeting certain macros. The tradeoff is that I lost over 100% of my excess weight and have been maintaining below goal for months.

I'm much happier with my life now, so I am good with it.

[GreenTealael 25,330]

I'm 17 months post-op (today, actually). I eat completely for fuel now. Yes, I do like the things I eat, but it is mostly dense Protein (3 oz of chicken breast, turkey, ground beef, pork or salmon) and 1.5 oz of green vegetables. I have 1 jumbo egg and a piece of bacon every morning, and some days I'll have 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with 1 T of sugar free strawberry preserves mixed in.
That's it for me. I do have red wine when I am traveling for work (which is pretty often), but other than that, my food life is about meeting certain macros. The tradeoff is that I lost over 100% of my excess weight and have been maintaining below goal for months.
I'm much happier with my life now, so I am good with it.

Good for you!

[GreenTealael 25,330]

I'm 17 months post-op (today, actually). I eat completely for fuel now. Yes, I do like the things I eat, but it is mostly dense Protein (3 oz of chicken breast, turkey, ground beef, pork or salmon) and 1.5 oz of green vegetables. I have 1 jumbo egg and a piece of bacon every morning, and some days I'll have 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with 1 T of sugar free strawberry preserves mixed in.
That's it for me. I do have red wine when I am traveling for work (which is pretty often), but other than that, my food life is about meeting certain macros. The tradeoff is that I lost over 100% of my excess weight and have been maintaining below goal for months.
I'm much happier with my life now, so I am good with it.

Good for you!

[Betty-911 2]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses. I was hoping to hear that people are enjoying life and not mourning what they can't have anymore. That's probably my biggest fear, not the surgery, that itself doesn't scare me. I'm lucky to have a supportive husband who wants me to be happy and is also looking forward to joining me in eating healthier to control his diabetes better. If I'm doing it, it will be much easier for him. Your responses and a lot of thought have convinced me that this is best, and I'm going forward with my appointments to start working on the checklist to get me to surgery. Beyond that, next step is to start improving my diet to get me ready and shed a few lbs pre-surgery. Thank you all again.

[frust8 963]

Good wishs to you on this beautiful morning. Hoping your journey goes well.

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[FluffyChix 17,415]

On 2/28/2018 at 12:39 PM, blizair09 said:

I'm 17 months post-op (today, actually). I eat completely for fuel now. Yes, I do like the things I eat, but it is mostly dense Protein (3 oz of chicken breast, turkey, ground beef, pork or salmon) and 1.5 oz of green vegetables. I have 1 jumbo egg and a piece of bacon every morning, and some days I'll have 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with 1 T of sugar free strawberry preserves mixed in.

That's it for me. I do have red wine when I am traveling for work (which is pretty often), but other than that, my food life is about meeting certain macros. The tradeoff is that I lost over 100% of my excess weight and have been maintaining below goal for months.

I'm much happier with my life now, so I am good with it.

Dude. Can I just say I sparkleheart the fu*k out of you? Seriously.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Ok look. I'm not a vet. I can't even pretend to play one on TV or Al Gore's Internet. But I'm 10 days out from surgery and I can say from the SAME FUC*ING DAY of surgery, I have zero, nado, no bueno regrets! It's the best fargin' decision I've ever made. And I'm a foodie/cook/former low carb Keto food blogger.

It is entirely normal and usual and expected to begin the journey where you are at this precise time. It is normal to experience the grief process. It's normal to second guess. But it's healthy to talk with like-minded people who are knowledgeable about the process/journey/surgery. Your RD and surgical team are GREAT resources, as are the peeps here on BP! I read and researched the hayull outta the surgery and the path toward goal.

At your point in time, it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for you to grasp the biochemical change that happens with surgery. It is hard to imagine having a certain ambivalence to food. It is impossible to imagine not being focused on where and what your next meal will consist of! BUT, that's what happens to MANY of us. Not just a few. To MANY of us.

I do believe it is SO important to get on board with the "healthy lower carb diet" that your RD promotes. It will probalby look fairly Weight Watchers-ish or Atkins-ish. Glom on and start living the lifestyle NOW at the 6mos out mark. Because it makes the surgery and post surgery transition a low carb piece of cake! Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And I will just say, the fear of never having a "real meal again" is real and expected, but it can also be used as a rationalization for your fat brain to derail your progress and resolution toward surgery. And it's full of crap. For the most part, your post surgical struggle will NOT lay in being unable to eat "crappy" fat-loving meals. It will be in NOT eating that stuff. The operation is on your tummy, but your brain MAY still have desires of its own. You will still have to take control of your thoughts and actions. But your new anatomy will/should facilitate making healthier choices. And as you lose weight quickly, and feel better, you begin to entertain new desires to move more, be healthier, have less focus on food, etc.

Hope you will move forward. It's the best decision of my life. I'm sorry I waited so long to dive in and do it!

Edited March 2, 2018 by FluffyChix