How best to show support.

[concerned husband 8 2]

I am not having the surgery but my wife is and I was hoping to get some tips on how best to support her. Both pre and post op. She is getting the gastric sleeve.

[Real California April 76]

Understand she will be moody after.

Help her with chores around the house. I was still painful when I came home.

Try dieting with her. It's fun and cuts temptation



SW: 366
CW: 329
GW1: 200
RNY Dec 18, 2017!

[kandywolf 161]

I agree with the trying to eat healthier, to take away temptation.
Mood swings, hard to do things like bending and lifting, vacuuming, those types of things. Its the little things that mean the most. Support and love. And I want to day that you are a wonderful husband for wanting to help her! I think that is awesome!


SW 350 (11/15)
BSW 260 (10/17/17)
CW 216.1 (2/4/18)
RGW 199
GW 175

[Biddy zz 🏳️🌈 1,004]

I love it that you are here, asking this. GREAT step!

Yep, she will likely be a bit sore, but also very tired. And also, may well want to talk a LOT about her stuff - weight loss by the oz, food cravings/food prohibitions, things other people here are saying. I suspect it gets boring, but I LOVE my partner for listening attentively every time!

Listen to her new food regime - and make sure a) the old temptations are out of the fridge/pantry, and the new ‘treats’ like maybe light cranberry juice, or unsweetened yoghurt, or blueberries - her favourites, are in the pantry/fridge.

and love her, and remind her you loved her at the start of this journey too...

[linda8 51]

Just now, concerned husband 8 said:

I am not having the surgery but my wife is and I was hoping to get some tips on how best to support her. Both pre and post op. She is getting the gastric sleeve.

My boyfriend said 2 things to me that meant so much. Pre surgery, I mentioned i couldn't wait to get the surgery ans improve some health issues so I would feel better. He said "if it weren't for the health issues you wouldn't need the surgery because you are good exactly how you are now"

and now the other day I am 3 weeks post op and he told me he is proud of me. I keep remembering that and am more determined than ever to keep making him proud.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Don't constantly eat foods in front of her you know she can't share. Smacks of rubbing it in her face. Listen to her when she vents cause she might boil over at times. Be gentle with her moods, she will like being reassured that you are proud of her, Be supportive of her in public and to your friends. I'm telling you these things because my late husband would not have done these things for me. Let your wife feel loved and treasured. Even if she doesn't say thank you,out loud , she will in her heart.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Biddy zz 🏳️🌈 1,004]

One more thing, cos I am still so delighted you are on this forum asking this - clone yourself. Too many women here saying “my hubby not supportive”. More guys like you would go around nicely...

[Vsglife 10]

Women like to talk , Men like action .allow her to talk about her feelings without touching her ...tell her you got her back. Kiss her neck and you back wont have to ask she will want to give the goodies to you !!!

[Stacy160 201]

Everything everyone said above! How awesome that you're making this effort. My husband has always been very supportive of my decision and respectful of how I eat, even the thousands of times I've slipped up, but after eight years, he still doesn't know the difference between fats, carbs, and Proteins. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about everything she'll be dealing with so you can understand why she doesn't want to eat the lovely breaded, frozen fish sticks (but it's meat!) and french fries (it's a vegetable!) you made for dinner LOL.

Yep, her emotions may be all over the map...our fat stores a ton of hormones, so when the fat burns off, those hormones are released. BUT one possible bonus for the both of you is that many, many people have stated that all those fun new hormones also make them way more, ummm...amorous? So there's something to hope for as well!

Good luck to you both!