Young, nervous, but wanting change...

[kristen8803 2]

Hi everyone!

My name is Kristen. I am 29 years old. I’m the mother of a beautiful 3 year old girl and wife to my wonderful husband. I also am a special needs teacher.

I have battled my weight since childhood. I think I am a food addict. I find myself “relapsing” after every diet. And I am either 100% doing well or 100% doing terrible, there is no in between.

I was lead to this surgery by a friend I work with who has had an amazing experience. After speaking with her I felt hopeful for a second shot at life free from this burden of obesity. However, the feedback I have gotten from all family and friends is negative. Everyone thinks I should do it on my own. But I just don’t believe I’ll ever be able to see significant success without this option.

My fears:

1. I die and my daughter is left without a mother all because Of my unhealthy relationship with food.

2. I have significant complications and regret my decision.

3. Post op I find that my new life has restrictions hat limit me at social events.

My hopes:

1. I am successful

2. I become a healthier, happier, more involved mother with my new found energy and lifestyle

3. I model better food habits to my daughter

4. I’m able to feel “sexy” in my skin again and hopefully increase the romance in my marriage

5. I’m able to do doing tasks without total exhaustion (getting dressed, showering, walking, standing).

6. I am overall a happier person.

Woman and mothers, did you have these same fears? Did you regret your choice? Has anyone my age done this surgery and find it was life changing?

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my post. I am so thankful to have this community to turn to!

-Kristen

[James Marusek 5,244]

Welcome. I am 5 years post-op RNY gastric bypass surgery and I think the decision to have surgery was one of the best decisions that I ever made. After surgery, I completely lost my hunger and I did not find it difficult to drop 120 pounds. My hunger returned after a year but it was not at the same level as before. But surgery is a tool and you do need to work at it each day. The main reason why I had the surgery was because I had a number of severe health conditions that were cause by my obesity and I wanted them gone. It was truly marvelous how quickly these health issues went into remission after surgery and stayed there.

One of your concerns was I die and my daughter is left without a mother all because Of my unhealthy relationship with food. You might look at it from a different perspective. Suppose you continue on being overweight and this causes severe health issues that cause you to die prematurely because you chose not to have the surgery and your daughter is left alone without a mother. So there are two sides to this coin.

Anyways, I will turn 70 this year. I have stamina of when I was 30. Stamina is the ability to perform physical work. This last year I built a log cabin playhouse for the grandkids. It was a teaching experience for them because I made them do part of the work. This is a link to the playhouse. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Log_Cabin_Playhouse.pdf

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Kristen -welcome. Yes I think we've all had these fears. I am at the opposite end of life , sometimes I call myself,the Bariatric Grandma, although,, in your case even Great grandma. I am 72,climb up on my virtual lap. First,you are doing something,good for your 3year old little angel. She needs her mommy, she needs her healthy and strong. A lot of us set down our bad eating habits at her age, grabbing what would fit in our tiny little hands. In my case it was probably,my mamma's soft applesauce Cookies with raisins and caramel frosting on top. If I'd know then, it would have been celery or carrot sticks. Ah, coulda, woulda, shoulda! At any rate- at a lower weight,you'll be able to chase after her, play with her, lay down good memories, I remember walking through my grandparents woods, picking flowers, even fishing. Yeah, both of my parents fished. Growing a garden together, I had my own little flower bed along side, helping pick fresh produce out of the garden, nothing better than fresh little leaves of lettuce in a salad. I remember telling Daddy I helped Mamma with the peas, I picked them me-self. Sure it might have been faster if she'd done it, but i was so proud. The surgery will give you chances to be here with it all, you won't be tired, sick and trapped in a no fun body. You won't be saying "I can't do that,"you'll be turning somersaults and doing handstands. You'll be So proud of how you look that you'll be confident and more sexy, when you feel better about yourself you'll be more fun in and out of bed. Daddy will be happy to have a partner that isn't out of breath, you'll be able to ring his chimes as much as you want. Happy Daddies are no longer Sad Daddies. If you put your mind to it I know you WILL make a success of it. It will,be a slow daily journey through this, you didn't gain the weight in one day, it will take oodles of days to get it off. But it can be done. I'm facing surgery myself, it will be less easy at my age, but I have a strong will (as do you) and I can and shall make thru to health and thin-ness. Your skin will snap back and smooth out at your age, keep up exercising even if its walking more, I've been obese for so many years and mine is so stretched out I'll probably,look like a Shar Pei. But praise God I'll still be alive and kicking and giving my opinions on everything under the sun! Join me on this weight loss journey, the best is yet to come! Never entertain regrets- cause joy and peace are coming yet. Your new (and somewhat older) friend. ME

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[elforman 234]

1 hour ago, kristen8803 said:

My fears:

1. I die and my daughter is left without a mother all because Of my unhealthy relationship with food.

2. I have significant complications and regret my decision.

3. Post op I find that my new life has restrictions hat limit me at social events.

Hi there and welcome aboard. I'm still a few months away from surgery (though I'm a male with two college age kids though many of our concerns remain the same) but I went through a similar process of tallying the positives and negatives myself. The fact that you're able to list them so clearly is an excellent sign that you've got a healthy grasp on the situation. Your positives are all spot on. Regarding your fears, I've managed to overcome mine through lots of research and introspection, so I'll address yours one at a time.

1. The fatality rate from weight loss surgery is exceptionally low and in the rare event when it does happen it's often a result of an undiagnosed condition. That's why they do extensive pre-op examinations.

2. Complications are certainly a possibility. You have to compare those risk to the health issues you'll certainly encounter if you do not address your weight. For most of us the small risk of complications is a much better gamble than waiting for diabetes. Also, try to avoid reading stories of other peoples' bad experiences, especially if they're second hand reports like "My friend's plumber's wife's astrologist went in for a gastric sleeve and she woke up with a tail!" And yes, after the surgery you will feel like crap after the surgery, you are likely to vomit a lot and have random pains. Those are all absolutely normal.

3. You need to turn your fear of limitations at social events into a positive. So many events revolve around food and that is one of our problems. What's the point of losing all of the weight if you're just going to put it all back by pigging out on pizza at a party. Once you get to your goal weight you'll be able to eat mostly normally again. Remember, people at healthy weights get to eat everything they want as well, they just don't overdo it and that's what we need to learn to do as well.

And as for what others have to say, you just have to learn how to tune them out. Dismiss them with a simple "Thank you for your opinion," or, if they're particularly rude about it "I'm sorry, I don't recall asking for your opinion" then change the subject, If they persist, ask them where they got their medical degree. Find the strength to end a conversation if someone is not supportive of your decision.

I hope that helps. I've always been the rather stoic type, quick to dispassionately analyze a situation instead of getting emotional. I know that puts me in the minority here and it also results in me giving advice that can be rather blunt, so please don't think I'm discounting your emotional concerns: Others can help you with that stuff.

[kristen8803 2]

Thank you so much for the insight everyone!!!

I appreciate all the heartfelt responses and encouragement. They are exactly what I need when the opinions of others gets me down. THANK YOU!

Also, I didn’t realize that most fatalities are due to a previous unknown diagnosis. That calms my nerves a lot. I really appreciate the analytical advice as well! And appreciated the laugh about the “cousins brothers mailman’s blah blah blah....” because it’s so true! Thanks again to all and best of luck on your journeys!!!

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Do you think I could grow a tail? That would be wonderful, I've always wanted one. Drove my poor late mother crazy. See I've always wanted to be a cat, hence my nom de plume. I wanted a. fluffy one like a white angora. Imagine her consternation when someone asked how I was doing and she had to admit She Still,Wants a Tail. If elforman can guarantee me one I'll show up for corrective surgery tomorrow.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[hdbuttahz 15]

Hi everyone!
My name is Kristen. I am 29 years old. I’m the mother of a beautiful 3 year old girl and wife to my wonderful husband. I also am a special needs teacher.
I have battled my weight since childhood. I think I am a food addict. I find myself “relapsing” after every diet. And I am either 100% doing well or 100% doing terrible, there is no in between.
I was lead to this surgery by a friend I work with who has had an amazing experience. After speaking with her I felt hopeful for a second shot at life free from this burden of obesity. However, the feedback I have gotten from all family and friends is negative. Everyone thinks I should do it on my own. But I just don’t believe I’ll ever be able to see significant success without this option.
My fears:
1. I die and my daughter is left without a mother all because Of my unhealthy relationship with food.< br>2. I have significant complications and regret my decision.
3. Post op I find that my new life has restrictions hat limit me at social events.
My hopes:
1. I am successful
2. I become a healthier, happier, more involved mother with my new found energy and lifestyle
3. I model better food habits to my daughter
4. I’m able to feel “sexy” in my skin again and hopefully increase the romance in my marriage
5. I’m able to do doing tasks without total exhaustion (getting dressed, showering, walking, standing).
6. I am overall a happier person.
Woman and mothers, did you have these same fears? Did you regret your choice? Has anyone my age done this surgery and find it was life changing?
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my post. I am so thankful to have this community to turn to!
-Kristen

Much like you, my family and friends were not thrilled about the surgery and made that VERY clear to me, so that was my decision. That was 2 years ago and I keep thinking if I did it back then, I would be where I want to be today. Instead I’m only 4 weeks post-op. Feel free to PM me with questions or read my blog (link in signature).


HW: 252
SW: 239
CW: 225
GW: 145 or lower
Height: 5’3
Age: 31
Blog: https://fearlessagentofchange.wordpress.com
Twitter: hd_buttahz
Instagram: agenthdbuttahz

[star2017 80]

Hi Kristen! I am right there with ya. I'm 36 and a mom to two young boys, my biggest fear is leaving them. I'm excited for surgery I find out Thursday when my date is, but I'm terrified of complications I've only had one other major surgery (breast reduction) and a few small surgeries. I had complications after my BR the surgeon hut an artery and didn't know it until I was in recovery luckily my husband notice something wasn't right, he literally saved my life! So now I'm so nervous about this one and the fact that when I had my BR (I was 27) I didn't have any health issues other than my PCOS and fibromyalgia, now I have a leaky mitral valve to add to the mix so I'm a bit more concerned but it's also a big factor in WHY I'm having WLS, less weight is less stress on the heart , so many what ifs running through my head, I'll be asking my surgeon so many questions during my pre op on Thursday lol but my need and want to see my children grow up out weighs that fear by a million. The best of luck to you!!!