Being at restaurants and getting asked "did you not like your food?" and wasted money/food

[michaeli 5]

So I've been traveling for the last week - on the same week as I was cleared to eat more normal food. My hotel rooms haven't had fridges (to store Protein drinks) or microwaves, and there's been a lot of going out to restaurants with people from work or friends I know in the city. And every time I go to a restaurant, I can maybe eat 1/4th of the plate at most, even less often. Example I went for brunch where they always have huge plates - got an egg scramble - didn't touch potatoes or bread and had 1/4th of the egg scramble so it basically still looked like a full plate.

And every time I've been asked "did you not like it?" and I've just said "oh it was great but just full".

Also it's crazy how much food I'm actually wasting and it's not like I can take it back home or anything - plus doggy bags are annoying to carry around while still out and about even if I was at a home. I would share Entrees but everyone's wanted their own so far.

For those that are like over 3 months out - how much of a restaurant entree can you finish? How do you find eating out? Do you just share food or something - and if not with a husband / wife - do you split the bill evenly still?

I did find a great solution though around getting asked did you not like it, and that's Korean BBQ - you can hide how little you eat when with a bunch of people

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

25 minutes ago, michaeli said:

For those that are like over 3 months out - how much of a restaurant entree can you finish?

My typical night out with friends now is very different to ten months ago.

1. I order and eat SIX NATURAL OYSTERS and a 150mL (5oz) glass of white wine at my Tuesday event. This is regarded as an entree.

2. I order "Salmon Cakes with Vegetables" at my Sunday event. I eat one (of two) salmon cakes and nibble at under a third of the vegetables. I accompany that with two tumblers of Water in the two hours following.

3. At my Wednesday gathering, I order a deluxe hamburger with hot potato chips (Australian term for "French fries") and garden salad ... and I eat the meat patty, the guacamole coating, maybe two (or three) hot chips out of about 30 and I pick at some cucumber and cherry tomatoes. I leave the bread roll on the plate with 75% or more of the chips and salad.

- - -

This is an amazing new skill for a man of 62 years who grew up in a home where plates had to be cleared of all food. It was regarded as an insult to the father/breadwinner and the mother/cook/chef to leave anything on a plate.

I'm pleased that I can, AT LAST, pass on what I feel won't fit in.

Edited February 16, 2018 by Rainbow_Warrior

[ChaosUnlimited 559]

I really don't find eating out very enjoyable anymore. I'm always being asked by the waiter/waitress if there was something wrong with my food, or if I want something different. There are one or two places I like if we are returning home after eating, because then I can bring the rest home and make a couple meals out of it.

My parents took us out to a very fancy ($$$) restaurant for Christmas and the waiter was horrified that I only ate about 1/4 of my meal, he sent the manager over because he was sure that I didn't find it satisfactory.

I have not found a place that serves appetizers that are not fried or full of carbs and sugar or I would just order from that menu instead.

I don't usually have the option to share a meal because others like to eat things that I don't wish to indulge in.

[sleeved2win 79]

I'm only six weeks in BUT... thought I might contribute anyway.

I went out to eat last night for the second time since surgery. The first time, I had Soup and it came with some bread which I didn't eat. Then last night (I'm now clear for regular foods) I had a cocktail shrimp appetizer, which I shared with the table and ate about half, and then ate about 1/3 of an entree (chicken first, nibbled on potatoes and veggies), which proved to be entirely too much food. I was really uncomfortable for hours afterwards. Not making that mistake again.

If I could do it over, I would have had the shrimp as planned, and then maybe order a second appetizer as my "meal"-- like a small salad or a crab cake, and just eat it slow. And if anyone were to ask, just say "I've been craving XYZ so bad!" or, "I went out to lunch and ate so much I'm really not all that hungry" or, a simple "I'm watching my calories."

It helps not to eat at chain restaurants because the servings are gigantic. I always choose a trendy, farm to table, or upscale spot because the servings are smaller and more reasonable. I know not everyone has access to those spots, but if you do- it's a safe bet!

[Creekimp13 5,840]

I love eating out:)

I bring my own tupperwear, now.

Stuff 2/3 of the food in boxes as soon as the plate arrives, and eat and pick at the remaining 1/3.

No one notices, no one cares.

Also, my group gives us a medical card that alerts restaurants that we should be allowed to eat from the children's or senior's menus if they're available. Most restaurants are totally cool with this.

Mostly, though, I just get a regular meal and take home leftovers.

[Lannie 135]

I just take home leftovers. It’s harder when traveling at hotels, etc.

Places like Outback and Texas Roadhouse have a deal where you can add on a side of shrimp to any entree. Great option...I get about 5shrimp which is all I can eat and DH gets to order what he wants.

[BrandiceLeSha 101]

As time as passed, it's become more normal. If I know I won't eat all of it, I'll ask them to box some to go... for example, I'll tell them to box my side salad to eat the next day since there's meat and veggies coming too. the waiter/ waitress have all been very accommodating and nice. They even offer to bring fresh cups of dipping sauces for my to go plates lol

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[GotProlactinoma 458]

The easy way. Honesty. I don’t care about the feelings of the waiter or chef. I just say I had stomach surgery and I can only eat a tiny amount. If I loved the food I effusively compliment. If I am going home, I will take the rest home. If I am not, I will say that I’m not headed home, and due to surgery that is the amount I eat. With a big smile. I tip well. If they don’t like the amount I eat, I can’t sum up any caring. There is so much to care about in this world. I can’t be bothered with a waitress disappointed with how much I’ve put in my mouth.

And at our fave Mexican restaurant they will make a little plate of refried Beans, topped with lots of cheese and jalapeños, and charge me very little for it. Sometimes nothing, if my son orders a plate and asks for no rice and beans. Then they will just give me the beans and cheese as his sides.

its ok to just let the server know that is all you CAN eat. It’s your stomach. I want to feel good after, not sick.

[MsTipps 314]

I havent eaten out yet but I'm going away for the weekend to a heavy metal festival so I know I'll find it tricky. I forsee a lotta Soup minus bread!

@Creekimp13 I love the idea of having a medical card to order from children's/senior menu. I will definitely be asking if they do them here in the UK at my next consultation.

I was thinking either order a starter only or asking for a half portion may be an option but the children's menu maybe a better solution.

@michaeli while we all adjust to our new lifestyles, we've gotta stop feeling guilty.

Like @Rainbow_Warrior said, I too grew up in a household where plates were to be cleared and if they weren't it was an insult not only to your family but to God for what he had provided for us and to the starving people of the world. It's only now that I'm training myself to stop feeling bad when I can't clear my plate.

If my kids leave stuff cos they're full, I don't have to eat it for them. We are not garbage disposals and don't need to feel guilty or give restaurant staff an explanation if it makes us uncomfortable.

Be kind to yourself.

[sleeved2win 79]

@mstipps who are you excited to see at the festival? Just curious (metal fan here!)

[MsTipps 314]

@sleeved2win the line up is:

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Anti Clone

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Balls Deep

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Bloodyard

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Cypher16

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Donkerkarnuffel

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Eradikator

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Evile

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Feed The Rhino

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Fury

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Gehtika

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Hanging Doll

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Hecate Enthroned

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Hell

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Internal Conflict

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Jonestown

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Lawnmower Deth

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Obzidian

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Raging Speedhorn

day TBC, unknown stage(C) RSJ

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Savage Messiah

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Senser

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Skindred

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Sodom

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Stoneghost

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Vicious Nature

day TBC, unknown stage(C) Winterfylleth

day TBC, unknown stage(C) XVII

They're less well known than the bands that go to the bigger festivals I go to in the summer but this is a nice winter warm up ;D xx I think Skindred are great so that will be a highlight for me.

Summer I have Download booked so far. Hoping for Hammerfest and Bloodstock if possible.

Edited February 16, 2018 by MsTipps

[Ghamara 12]

I do the same things the others have said.

If I cant share with someone, or add onto their meal (some steak places do this normally) then I will either order an appetizer if it isnt something fried (since nothing fried seems to taste good anymore OR feels good after eating). If I have no other choice than to order a huge meal, I ask for a ToGo box when I am ordering or as soon as they bring it to me. I then immediately place most of the food in there and no one seems to even notice or care. I have never been asked anything or looked at strangely. A Soup or salad is another way to go.

Unfortunately, I have had the instance to where I took the food, but we were still out and about and I ended up just throwing it out anyway, but sometimes you don't have the choice to try and save it. Most people don't want to share because they don't understand how little you will actually eat, and how much they actually get.

[sleeved2win 79]

@mstipps I spent my afternoon checking out some of these-- it's cool bc I wasn't really aware of most of these lesser know U.K. Bands. Anti Clone was pretty cool.

Skindred and Sodom are the only ones I really knew. I'm into Soil, Coal Chamber, Rammstein, I miss Mudvayne but love Hellyeah, Slipknot, Machine Head, Lamb of God, System of a Down, etc. so I guess more mainstream stuff-- but I love a good metal festival with unknowns. Just fun to go and feel the energy and meet new people. Have an awesome time!!!! [emoji3]

[CJ Sunshine 241]

I still enjoy the experience of going out to dinner with my spouse or friends. I will sometimes order an appetizer if there is something that appeals to me as a meal (mussels or crabcakes, for instance) , or share a meal if we can agree on one thing. But if I want a regular meal, I just order it, knowing that I will take most of it home. When I ask for the doggy bag, I always say, "It was delicious. I just can't finish it." If out with friends, I order my own meal and just take home the leftovers...If I don't order a full meal, then I don't usually split the bill.

[MsTipps 314]

There's a lot of homeless people who I've handed doggy bags to in the past. Most really appreciate the gesture and it's certainly not going to waste xx