Depression and feelings of giving up

[soready17 167]

Yesterday was my 6 month post vsg day. I had decided to not weigh myself for the month of Feb...just the 14th since it marks my 6 month since surgery day. Well during these past 2 weeks I have not strayed from the plan an inch. Very low carb and max 600-1000 calories a day.. I wasn't so 'on plan' previous months so I assumed I would have a huge weight loss or at least the standard 2 pounds a week. I weighed in and I was the exact same weight as Jan 31st. This overwhelming feeling of hopelessness came over me and I just kept hopping on the scale over and over in disbelief. The whole day was a drag. Didn't want to do anything neglected my kids and my home left it in disarray..binged on pakzi donuts and cookies.. laid in bed and just said fu** it. See the thing is, I know this is trivial and I shouldn't be so destructive. I KNOW that it's irrational to act this way because of a stall or whatever it may be, but I can't control these feelings and this destructive behaviors. I cried yesterday and felt like the whole world was crashing down on me and it scares me how little is needed to throw me off track. I guess I really want some words of understanding, encouragement, or even a slap in the face to make me wake up. I just feel so depressed and out of control:(

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[blizair09 3,250]

A few thoughts to start:

1. If you know that you haven't been eating and drinking as you should, only you can deal with that. And if you want to be successful long term, you HAVE TO DO THAT.

2. I'm so proud that you decided to hunker down and do what you have to do. That being said, stalls are a huge part of the process. I've lost 225 pounds, and the period of stall over the past 16 months FAR exceeds the period of loss. The loss came in chunks preceded by and followed by a 2 week or so stall.

3. If the stalls (and the process in general) is going to lead to feelings and actions that you described in your post, you need to find a therapist that specializes in work with bariatric patients because what you described is not healthy at all.

The only way to be successful in this journey is to change your relationship with food. Part of that is not using food as a reward, a comfort, or a crutch. Please don't give up. Nothing about this journey is easy, but if you do what you need to do, and keep to your plan, the other side is such a WONDERFUL PLACE!

Best to you.

[Sleeve1stFitNext 924]

I agree with @blizair09 the only way to succeed, is to change your mindset. This is not easy. No one said it was or would be. Just like dieting and exercising before the surgery, it is hard. The surgery only helps with portions but it cannot change what you eat.

Another thing is, increase your exercise. That is the key. This tool will not work without calories burned in workouts. My scale did not move from September until February. I had to resort to depending on workouts, losing inches and before and after photos to keep me going.

At least you are self-aware. I had issues with food and I found myself snacking all the time. Once I was realized that I was not really giving it my all, I decided to make a change and to really create a plan that worked for me.

Remember you have been given an opportunity to take your life back. To take control of this food addiction and really be the person you always wanted to be. This is your time to succeed when others may have thought you wouldn't. For you to do that one thing that you always wanted to do with your kids or significant other.

Find those reasons for why you decided to get the surgery and hold onto to them. They are your anchor when you feel like you are drowning.

[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

Oh man, I'm so sorry, I know how hard these Pauses can be!! Let me ask you a few questions:

In that time period have your pants continuted to feel looser? Have you measured yourself to see where your body is changing and shrinking? These things still happen even when the scale doesn't move. Because you are dropping fat and building muscle, Muscle weights more than fat so its very easy to be sculpting and changing your body, dropping 2 or 3 sizes and NEVER drop a single ounce of weight. For reals. I spent 12 weeks not losing a pound but I went from a 16 to a 10.

Second question, do you have a counselor or some kind of support person you can talk to? It sounds to me like you have a lot on your shoulders, a house, kids, your health, trying to manage your new eating, exercising, trying to achieve all your goals and working tirelessly to do everything for everybody. That's too much for anyone after a certain point!! Of course you spent the day in bed crying and eating crap you know you shouldn't eat, you had a mini-breakdown as I call them. lol! And who could blame you????? But of course you can't keep doing that because of your health and your life responsibilities.

So you know what I did? I talked to my GP doctor and told her about my out of control emotions, my inability to handle frustration, that while I am the most healthy I've ever been I'm also the most miserable, WHY??? So she explained to me that I just have too much on my plate (Pun totally intended!! lol!), I'm juggling work, my health, my meds, my exercise, my crazy food needs, my home, etc. So I went on a generic Lexapro, could not be happier with my choice!! She said that our bodies go through crazy changes with this level of weight loss and it's easy for the brain chemistry to become unbalanced. She put me on the meds for a 12 month period. I'm on month 2 and it feels like a life saver.

Third question, what do you do to reward and pamper yourself in a non-food way? I always recommend a massage & mani/pedi. Another thing I do to keep myself motivated is make sure I get my 10K steps in everyday, the endorphins really help our brains right now when we are doing all this crazy stuff. Cause not only are we affected physically with hormones and brain-chemistry and weight loss, but we are also affected emotionally from no longer having the same emotional crutches. And food was our biggest self-soother. I would recommend seeing a therapist as well if you can. It really helped me the first year as I needed to purge these feelings and had a lot of issues dealing with frustrations and upset now that I couldn't shove 3000 calories worth of chicken strips and fries in my face. lol! Seriously, i was shocked at how hard it was dealing with life when I couldn't just eat away my worries.

Hang in there, you are doing something wonderful for yourself and your kids. Your misery right now is both emotional and brain chemistry driven. If you are following the protocol and meeting all your goals, Protein, Water, 10K steps, Vitamins, than your body is changing and evolving - even if the scale doesn't move! The scale is only part of our story. You are going to do great love, I really believe it!

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

You have to hang on and can’t give up. This is a very tough time in our lives, like others have said it is a lot to process mentally, physically and emotionally. So the scale didn’t move, no big deal as it will move eventually. One day at a time my little friend.

[JosieAppleHead 74]

Same here, I was frustrated waking up at 5 am weekdays to walk 3 miles before work. To see no results and weighing even more than when I started. Missing my fatty foods all for more weight? I said to myself, working out a week or two and gaining weight is not muscle and it’s not Water, but my clothes were loose and I felt lighter so where was all this madness coming from? I read some where something that made a lot of sense, all the stresses and strains from those workouts causes tearing and release healing liquids that take time to go away. So what you see as a plateau could be your body going through a healing process. And that binge will not set you back as bad as you probably felt afterwards, let that self affliction of hurting yourself go and fast. It is better to stay at a weight than gain.


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[soready17 167]

Thank you so much for all your kind words of encouragement. I honestly had tears in my eyes reading through your comments. It meant so much to me. I'm so glad I opened up about those horrible feelings I was having.
I had to go through those emotions and realize how far I have come. It just sucks completely how I've been stuck/stalled for over a month. I feel like this is it...no more weight loss unless I go to the gym everyday and workout like crazy...(which I couldn't do even if I wanted to). I also feel so tired. I'm not sure if it's physical or mental. The way I deal with my emotions is going through them experiencing them and slowly recovering from them. Unfortunately, this why it took me several days to respond to this thread. Thank you all once again; I will read and reread every word to make it stick!

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[kakatlady612 1,053]

Many of us had the same feelings as new mothers, it's part. surgical trauma, part Water and gas still retained, 3rd part is your fatty tissue starting to begin its brealdown to provide energy, for,your healing body. There were fat-soluble hormones,that were stored in your fat, now they are flooding your system. Like Puberty without any of the blessings. I had to hope to go to elsewhere like to Lalaland before before anyone noticed.any of my problems. Have a peaceful might.

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[Vsglife 10]

Yesterday was my 6 month post vsg day. I had decided to not weigh myself for the month of Feb...just the 14th since it marks my 6 month since surgery day. Well during these past 2 weeks I have not strayed from the plan an inch. Very low carb and max 600-1000 calories a day.. I wasn't so 'on plan' previous months so I assumed I would have a huge weight loss or at least the standard 2 pounds a week. I weighed in and I was the exact same weight as Jan 31st. This overwhelming feeling of hopelessness came over me and I just kept hopping on the scale over and over in disbelief. The whole day was a drag. Didn't want to do anything neglected my kids and my home left it in disarray..binged on pakzi donuts and cookies.. laid in bed and just said fu** it. See the thing is, I know this is trivial and I shouldn't be so destructive. I KNOW that it's irrational to act this way because of a stall or whatever it may be, but I can't control these feelings and this destructive behaviors. I cried yesterday and felt like the whole world was crashing down on me and it scares me how little is needed to throw me off track. I guess I really want some words of understanding, encouragement, or even a slap in the face to make me wake up. I just feel so depressed and out of control:(
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You have taken the first step . Admitting your fault. Tomorrow is gone start fresh today. There is something going on in your life seek help. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Wishing you the best. “ Just do right “ Maya Angelou

[KMO1961 3]

Know these things...you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are strong, you can do anything you set your mind on! You’ve already tackled the battle, now let’s win the war!

Tips from my Dr. Do you have access to a recumbent bike? If you do start using that....slowly 5-10 minutes at first. Work up to walking 1 hr at a time and work up to a brisk walk. I’m still working on both of these too so please don’t feel alone.

You’ve got this!

[kakatlady612 1,053]

A old saying: All God's children got sorrows. Not a one of us is immune. I especially appreciate KMO2961 and her advice above.Many of you are down because you've hit a stall in your weight loss. I'm fighting the depression bug today because I'm fearful I'll never get my surgery. So I almost envy your stalls, I feel like I'm in limbo or purgatory myself today. So I'm claiming the promise that I'm good enough and that my day will come. I have the will, I have the commitment to succeed, I just need my surgeon to honor that and perform my surgery. Maybe by this time next week I'll have good news. I'm reminded of a lesser Bible passage where the people asked Jesus "are you he whom we seek or shall we look for another?". Is this the proper program for me , the proper surgeon or should I seek another? The sands of time are still descending in my hourglass and I know not when they will reach the bottom. Thanks for listening.

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