Anyone have a husband who is nonsupportive?

kacee · October 28, 2007

Hello everyone,
yes, food is an addiction, but unlike alcohol, we need it to survive. It's not something you can just totally avoid.

No, it's not something you can "avoid", but if you are "cheating" on your pre-op, that's not "surviving"...that's cheating. You are not going to die from an all liquid pre-op diet. If you feel like you are dying, drink MORE. I kindof understand the mentality of your DH. He figures if you cheat now, you'll cheat after. One slide and off the wagon you will go (like an alcoholic is prone to do). Thank goodness the band is NOT like that. With a whole lot less will power than you've had to try to drum up in the past, you will be able to control yourself after banding....MUCH MUCH easier. I think that is the beauty of it!

kacee · October 28, 2007

And many, if not most people, cheat on their pre-ops. If you were so darned good at dieting you wouldn't be there in the FIRST place and to handle a liquid diet when you can't even handle a REGULAR diet, is pretty excruciating to all but the most hardened of us! You seem to be doing at least "quality cheating"...by sticking with things good for you as opposed to cheeseburgers and fries, so you are to be commended. The name of the game is to do the best you can. And understand that this is TEMPORARY ONLY. You can set your mind to do ANYTHING if you know it is just temporary. This isn't to lose weight to make you feel or look better before surgery, this is to help eliminate any complications during surgery, so we're not talking vanity here...we're talking medical necessity. Why don't you suggest your DH come out on the forum and scout around sometime? Let him know he can come in as ananonymous bystander and ask any questions he wants.

Cota129 · October 28, 2007

My 18 y/o daughter is the one giving me a terrible time. She also has a weight problem and seems to be angry that I am doing something proactive. I am now on the pre-op liquid diet. Not a meal goes by that she is not making extra for me and then getting angry that I tell her no, or at dinner she gets mad because I am sitting with the family and don't have a plate of food. I'm sure as heck not going to let my kid sabotage me, but she definitely makes liquids a little harder. I'm hoping she eventually comes around

make33 · October 28, 2007

There are tons of threads here regarding non-supportive and even combative family, friends and coworkers.

You'll find your daughter's reaction is not surprising, but she may need some time to adjust to a mom who's not food-obsessive any longer--she's just misses her compatriot in eating.

Thin@Heart · October 28, 2007

Tell him to work his own program and go to Al-Anon! :-)

mariaxoxo4u · October 29, 2007

I'm on my pre-op now and my husband is completely indifferent and has no comment on anything I eat or don't eat. The other day I said something to him about "Lap-Band" and he said "What's that?" (He's foreign - but STILL!!!!) I've been talking about the Lap-Band for months!!!! I almost would invite some non-supportive words....

Maria

Wilted_and Worn · November 18, 2007

It is a shame when our partners dont support us.My husband was against me having this surgery,and nothing I did could change his mind.

I refused to give up on the idea not only for health reasons but I want to do this for me.

He then decided the marriage was over and his parting words to me were"who wants to be married to a fat slob anyway'.

This broke my heart but then I thought well there is more to life than someone trying to bring me down and made me more determined to do it.

I am due to have my surgery on 28th November and cant wait to prove I did it for me

good luck everyone on your journies

Deb:)

make33 · November 18, 2007

Wilted, I am SO sorry for what has happened to you. You and I KNOW this jerk is not worth your time or trouble.

They say "Retrospect is always easy", but the problem is that in order to be able to look back and see why something happened in our lives, time has to pass. But believe me, when you are banded you can put all your concentration on you--making your body the best and healthiest it can be.

Hang in there--these boards are for support--and hopefully you have family and friends that are giving you that also... Travelling on with your life...

Cota129 · November 18, 2007

Wilted, I am so sorry that your life took this turn. I don't know your husband, but he left because he was threatened by your new life decision. That's his problem, not yours. Believe me, life gets better. You are on your way to a new happiness.