14 months post-op struggling: discipline/motivation/support/energy

[ahappycamper 81]

Hi folks,

I was sleeved 11/22/16. Pre-op SW was 347lbs and CW is 197lbs. Lost 70lbs pre-op. My sleeve has been incredibly successful thus far, mostly without incorporating exercising into my routine. That is something I have only really started in the last two months.

I'm really struggling. I'm not 100% sure I know why. Maybe lack of support by others in the same boat? My surgeon offers a support group meeting, but they only meet on Mondays once a month and since last August I have had classes every Monday night save for two weeks during the holidays, but those days did not fall on support group meeting dates. I will continue to have Monday night classes until end of April at the earliest. Due to a number of factors (being in classes 1hr away from where I live every weeknight, working whenever I'm not in class, and generally being somewhat more introverted) I don't have too many local friends (most live 40 minutes or more away) and I have zero friends that are in the process of losing weight or generally getting fitter. My boyfriend is very supportive and encouraging, but he is much fitter than I am and currently working out with him is intimidating. I'd rather work out by myself at home or with a friend in a similar boat.

Additionally, both my boyfriend and I decided to recommit ourselves to our health/weight/fitness goals after the new year, but he hasn't kept up with working out that much which makes me somewhat less inclined to workout myself. We both have incredibly busy schedules and are up at 6am already and not done with work/responsibilities for the day until 8pm at the earliest and 10:30pm at the latest. We are truly exhausted physically and both our jobs/my schooling requires a lot of emotional and mental labor so we often don't feel we have much left for ourselves at the end of the day.

For Christmas I asked for and received an unlimited monthly pass to a yoga studio in town. I have loved yoga for years and was doing easily an hour of yoga at home by myself after the holidays, but then I began my pass. I attended once and that has been it so far. The studio's schedule seems to be set up for people who don't have to work and I have mild to medium-level anxiety about working out in front of people. Once I had the pass I felt like if I was going to do yoga, I had to do it at the studio so I stopped working out at home. Then I got it in my head that I needed to work on my cardio because my heart really needs strengthening. I debated getting a Planet Fitness membership for a few days and eventually just went for it. That was a week ago. I've been once and worked out for 20 minutes. I don't like going at their busy times and with my schedule that leaves 5am-6am (waking up at 4:30am to to get there) OR after 7 hours of work, two hours total commuting, and 6-7.5 hours of classes. That would put me at the gym at 9:30pm and not home until 11pm. I know mostly everyone is crazy busy and exhausted and they still find the time and motivation to work out, but I'm struggling to find it. It comes in spurts. Where I live is a great place to go running in the morning or at night when there aren't that many cars around to see me, but I've only managed to get myself to do that once in the last two weeks.

I'm also having a somewhat difficult time with food. Before my surgery and all through the diet that was managed by my nutritionist I did spectacularly. Ate according to my diet exactly and never strayed -- never even really felt too much in the way of cravings. I lived on Protein Shakes, yogurt, tuna fish, Soup, and salad for almost two years (pre and post). Once I was able to eat "real" food again, I got away from two Protein shakes a day and stopped eating yogurt -- had only one shake a day and ate regular food except carbs and too many veggies. Focused mostly on the one shake and protein sources.

Since the holidays I've gone back to two shakes a day and occasionally eating yogurt. My diet now consists of protein shakes, turkey roll-ups, carrots and hummus, chicken breast, salad, cheese sticks, and more "real" food for dinners. Last night I did turkey taco bowls with lettuce, a table spoon and a half of rice, black Beans, red bell peppers, salsa, and a small swirl of non-fat greek yogurt. Filled a small bowl but didn't finish it all.

My carb cravings are off the charts, though. Baked goods and chocolate are almost all I think about. I have not been as strict about resisting these cravings as I should be.

In the past (years ago) I struggled with depression. I was on numerous medications for years trying to find something that worked, but never did. Eventually the depression let up and I was okay -- better than okay, even. I've considered that perhaps I'm having a small bout of depression but I have no interest in going back on medications after 6+ years of feeling like I was living in a fog and dealing with all the side effects which were HORRIBLE. I felt like my brain wasn't my own. Since that time period my memory has suffered and that scares the crap out of me. I don't want to tempt fate again. If it gets worse, I would certainly consider it much more seriously, but at this point I'm not even sure it's depression. Everyone naturally has small slumps and I'm hoping that is what this is.

I'm just not sure what to do. I think that setting weekly goals for myself is a great idea and would give me the direction I need, but I don't really have a method of accountability to make myself follow through. My boyfriend says he would like to be that for me, but the truth is that he just doesn't really have the time. He hardly has the time to be accountable to himself for his own health goals. (Plus, it isn't his responsibility, ya know? It's a lovely and thoughtful and generous offer, but ultimately it's on me.)

I meal plan for him and cook his lunches so he can eat healthy and do somewhat of the same thing for myself, but I find it a lot easier to do for him since he eats regular-people-style. I struggle to find foods that are easy and lightweight to transport that are tasty, not carb-loaded, and often do not require warming. All of my food essentially is on the go. Likely I SHOULD go back to multiple protein shakes a day, yogurt, and keep it super simple. I should. I know. I'm having a hard time letting go of the variety of savory flavors that "real" food offers, though. Most protein sources that would meet my needs are of the sweet variety. Shakes, yogurts, bars. But also I really missed the texture of food I had to chew. Even as I write this I'm getting frustrated with myself.

I don't use my phone/instagram/snapchat/forums of any kind with any kind of regularity anymore, so while having a weight loss instagram/whatever was helpful in the past, I don't really have time to take pictures of everything and write posts, etc. I can't guarantee that I'll have time everyday to check into an accountability post on the BP forums. Unless something is coming to me via text, there's almost no chance I'll get to it.

I have no idea what I need or even what I'm asking. Or if I'm asking anything at all. I just needed a place to vent, I suppose?

How do you all keep yourselves accountable if you don't have too much in the way of in-person support and don't have too much time to spend here on the forums? Perhaps later this year when I have more time to spend here, it won't feel so difficult and I won't feel quite like I'm doing this alone so much, but for now I just don't have the time. Especially not if I'm going to somehow create time for myself to workout.

For those of you who have tightly packed schedules and are making the time for yourselves early in the morning or late at night or whenever to get to the gym, how do you find the energy to get through your whole day without a nap or without a constant stream of caffeine? I feel zapped of energy all the time and all my Vitamins are in good working order (thought it might be Iron deficiency but no).

Is there anyone else here looking for a texting buddy for support? To talk about meal planning/recipes/keeping each other accountable with working out, etc.? I'm 30, studying to be a mortician, rarely at home except on the weekends when I'm studying non-stop. Please feel free to send me a message here if you're in a similar boat.

Any thoughts/advice is welcome. I'm feeling pretty lost and frustrated at this point. Thanks in advance for your comments and I appreciate whomever read this entire novella.

-A

[orionburn 1,024]

7 minutes ago, ahappycamper said:

My carb cravings are off the charts, though. Baked goods and chocolate are almost all I think about. I have not been as strict about resisting these cravings as I should be.

I go through craving phases as well, and I'm sure most of on here do as well. Some weeks I could care less about carbs. Other weeks I want bread wrapped in a tortilla...lol. When I started the process to quit smoking years ago it wasn't that different. As soon as you start thinking about giving something up or needing to cut back you start wanting it more.

You're a bit further out than I am (just hit the year mark) but going through something similar. Getting back on the boards has helped motivate me to get back on a better track. I haven't gained anything but have been stuck at roughly the same weight for the past two months.

It's easy to pass judgement and say there's always time for this or that, but I get it that there are times when any free time is limited. A few years back I was juggling a full time job, working part time, planning for a wedding, raising two kids, and taking two college courses. It was...hectic. Still I found time to do fun things and squeeze a few minutes out here and there to have fun.

As to the depression thing...been there/done that. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Like you said it's still natural to have some ups & downs. That's life. I was on meds for a year or two as well to get through a difficult phase. Sorted it out, got off the meds, and haven't looked back since. Doesn't mean things don't get down from time to time but it's not letting it grab hold of you that matters. That's a good 15 years back and from time to time (usually the same seasonal bouts) I'll get a bit down, but nothing like I used to be. Don't fret about it.

Anyway, probably don't have any real answers for you other than you're not alone...lol. Hit the board up for a few minutes each day. Even if you don't post read some recent topics for encouragement and remind you that you're not the only one struggling. Sometimes that alone gives some peace of mind.

[blizair09 3,250]

I had my surgery about 2 months before you (9/28/16), so we are more or less in the same time frame with regard to our journey.

I have to tell you that I have done little to nothing with exercise the entire time. I walked a lot in the beginning, but once I moved to Alabama from New Orleans last summer, that has more or less come to an end. I understand your trepidation about it; I'm the same way. I'd like to start working out to tone up (my skin has done remarkable for a man that has lost 225 pounds, but I have some problem areas that I could probably help with some weight training). I need to hire a trainer, but I travel all of the time for work and pleasure, and I keep using that as an excuse not to move forward with it. I'll give us both some advice -- we need to make time and make it a priority. (Now, let's see if either of us can take that advice. Lol.)

In terms of the food, you just have to buckle down. I wish there was easier advice. I haven't had more than 25 carbs in a day for almost 2 years now (beginning with the six month pre-op diet program). The reason I am so anal about it is that I see it all as a slippery slope. One muffin or one piece of pizza or one sweet something or another could (and likely would) lead to more and more and more. I'm the same way about soda. It was so hard to give it up that I cannot bring it back at all. I have been below goal for months now, and maintaining beautifully, and I have to do that to stay here. I absolutely refuse to gain any weight. I love being this size and that is WAY more important to me than any food or drink.

I write all of this to say that I understand your feelings and wish you the best. I know life can be crazy, but you deserve to make your own health, goals, and overall happiness a priority.

[BigViffer 3,544]

I am not good at mushy support, so please read everything I say as advice and not "tough love", for that is not my intent.

You are only lacking in one thing; determination. Support is nice, and motivation makes it easier; but doing something that is hard and something that you don't really want to do takes determination. I get it, you're tired at the end of the day. Or you don't want to get up early in the morning. Or you want to spend lunch time unwinding. You don't want to go to the gym because it is intimidating. Someone might look at you, laugh at you, or think something derogatory. Someone will be better at yoga or there will be a group of friends already there and you will feel excluded.

All excuses. Make a resolution to do the things that are uncomfortable but necessary. Your boyfriend doesn't want to go? Leave him home. No friends to meet at yoga? Make new ones with the people that are there by showing your determination to do these things.

I can come up with a laundry list of things that I would/could/should be doing besides exercising. I frequently go to bed at midnight because the time after work is taken up by parents, in-laws, and teenage daughters. But after 20+ years of making excuses led me to poor health. Weigh your food, log your food, make it habit. Make your accountability be its own reward. Don't let the little things distract you from the one thing that is most important. Your health.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

@BigViffer Seriously dude, not stalkin' or pervin' but you give great advice. Cudos and hope to remember them during my journey.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

@ahappycamper (Hmmm, can't get it to link to you for some reason.) ((hugs)) I get you. I get it. These guys have serious chops to offer behind their advice, so really take it. Me? Not so much.

I've been where you are. So many times. It's easy peasy to dole out advice, to serve others with healthy, balanced, nutritious food on a timely schedule. Blah. Blah. Blah. And when it's all said and done? What would I do in the old days? Yep, handful of cheetos and a glass of vino. Every live long day...

I can't tell you what will work for you or will work post surgery cuz I'm still pre-op and still livin' the dream of the march to my new tool and anatomy. And I wake up each morning with one job:

Commit to the day.

My job for me, the employer, is to work as hard as I can to follow the rules as I understand them. (Given by my nutritionist and surgeon.) At the end of the day I lay down, check it off my list as "done" and go to sleep. I wake the next day with a brand new commitment.

It's overwhelming at times. So I can't look to tomorrow. I can't look behind at how I may have failed the week before. It's a continual feedback loop like Ground Hog Day where I try to learn daily, what to apply in the next choice. Sounds sanctimonious right? I screw up royally all the time. But I move forward and decided to forgo the beatings. I do the best I can.

The only way to do this is break it down into little baby steps.

1. Diet (4 letter word but works for me). I know what to eat at Breakfast, lunch, and dinner and it's Protein forward, lots of leafy veg and cooked veg, a bit of low carb fruit, and a little healthy fats.

2. Water - 116oz a day including my Decaf coffee

3. Exercise - presently it's walking for 30 minutes which for me=1 mile. I do this 5 days a week. I was doing PT, but I need to go back for a cortisone shop in my hip to do more.

If someone like me can do this...then someone like you can excel. You deserve this. You CAN do it. Make 1 change and make it today. Start by changing only 1 thing. Each day add a new goal or change to the mix. Pretty soon, you'll be back and in charge!

Hang in there and keep fighting! (Oh, I meant to add, I think maybe I'd check in with my nutritionist and/or surgeon and get a "tune-up" and a redirection to see how to get back on track...just a thought for you!!

Edited January 30, 2018 by FluffyChix

[sleeved2win 79]

Hi folks,

I was sleeved 11/22/16. Pre-op SW was 347lbs and CW is 197lbs. Lost 70lbs pre-op. My sleeve has been incredibly successful thus far, mostly without incorporating exercising into my routine. That is something I have only really started in the last two months.
I'm really struggling. I'm not 100% sure I know why. Maybe lack of support by others in the same boat? My surgeon offers a support group meeting, but they only meet on Mondays once a month and since last August I have had classes every Monday night save for two weeks during the holidays, but those days did not fall on support group meeting dates. I will continue to have Monday night classes until end of April at the earliest. Due to a number of factors (being in classes 1hr away from where I live every weeknight, working whenever I'm not in class, and generally being somewhat more introverted) I don't have too many local friends (most live 40 minutes or more away) and I have zero friends that are in the process of losing weight or generally getting fitter. My boyfriend is very supportive and encouraging, but he is much fitter than I am and currently working out with him is intimidating. I'd rather work out by myself at home or with a friend in a similar boat.
Additionally, both my boyfriend and I decided to recommit ourselves to our health/weight/fitness goals after the new year, but he hasn't kept up with working out that much which makes me somewhat less inclined to workout myself. We both have incredibly busy schedules and are up at 6am already and not done with work/responsibilities for the day until 8pm at the earliest and 10:30pm at the latest. We are truly exhausted physically and both our jobs/my schooling requires a lot of emotional and mental labor so we often don't feel we have much left for ourselves at the end of the day.
For Christmas I asked for and received an unlimited monthly pass to a yoga studio in town. I have loved yoga for years and was doing easily an hour of yoga at home by myself after the holidays, but then I began my pass. I attended once and that has been it so far. The studio's schedule seems to be set up for people who don't have to work and I have mild to medium-level anxiety about working out in front of people. Once I had the pass I felt like if I was going to do yoga, I had to do it at the studio so I stopped working out at home. Then I got it in my head that I needed to work on my cardio because my heart really needs strengthening. I debated getting a Planet Fitness membership for a few days and eventually just went for it. That was a week ago. I've been once and worked out for 20 minutes. I don't like going at their busy times and with my schedule that leaves 5am-6am (waking up at 4:30am to to get there) OR after 7 hours of work, two hours total commuting, and 6-7.5 hours of classes. That would put me at the gym at 9:30pm and not home until 11pm. I know mostly everyone is crazy busy and exhausted and they still find the time and motivation to work out, but I'm struggling to find it. It comes in spurts. Where I live is a great place to go running in the morning or at night when there aren't that many cars around to see me, but I've only managed to get myself to do that once in the last two weeks.
I'm also having a somewhat difficult time with food. Before my surgery and all through the diet that was managed by my nutritionist I did spectacularly. Ate according to my diet exactly and never strayed -- never even really felt too much in the way of cravings. I lived on Protein Shakes, yogurt, tuna fish, Soup, and salad for almost two years (pre and post). Once I was able to eat "real" food again, I got away from two Protein shakes a day and stopped eating yogurt -- had only one shake a day and ate regular food except carbs and too many veggies. Focused mostly on the one shake and Protein sources.
Since the holidays I've gone back to two shakes a day and occasionally eating yogurt. My diet now consists of Protein Shakes, turkey roll-ups, carrots and hummus, chicken breast, salad, cheese sticks, and more "real" food for dinners. Last night I did turkey taco bowls with lettuce, a table spoon and a half of rice, black Beans, red bell peppers, salsa, and a small swirl of non-fat greek yogurt. Filled a small bowl but didn't finish it all.
My carb cravings are off the charts, though. Baked goods and chocolate are almost all I think about. I have not been as strict about resisting these cravings as I should be.
In the past (years ago) I struggled with depression. I was on numerous medications for years trying to find something that worked, but never did. Eventually the depression let up and I was okay -- better than okay, even. I've considered that perhaps I'm having a small bout of depression but I have no interest in going back on medications after 6+ years of feeling like I was living in a fog and dealing with all the side effects which were HORRIBLE. I felt like my brain wasn't my own. Since that time period my memory has suffered and that scares the crap out of me. I don't want to tempt fate again. If it gets worse, I would certainly consider it much more seriously, but at this point I'm not even sure it's depression. Everyone naturally has small slumps and I'm hoping that is what this is.
I'm just not sure what to do. I think that setting weekly goals for myself is a great idea and would give me the direction I need, but I don't really have a method of accountability to make myself follow through. My boyfriend says he would like to be that for me, but the truth is that he just doesn't really have the time. He hardly has the time to be accountable to himself for his own health goals. (Plus, it isn't his responsibility, ya know? It's a lovely and thoughtful and generous offer, but ultimately it's on me.)
I meal plan for him and cook his lunches so he can eat healthy and do somewhat of the same thing for myself, but I find it a lot easier to do for him since he eats regular-people-style. I struggle to find foods that are easy and lightweight to transport that are tasty, not carb-loaded, and often do not require warming. All of my food essentially is on the go. Likely I SHOULD go back to multiple protein shakes a day, yogurt, and keep it super simple. I should. I know. I'm having a hard time letting go of the variety of savory flavors that "real" food offers, though. Most protein sources that would meet my needs are of the sweet variety. Shakes, yogurts, bars. But also I really missed the texture of food I had to chew. Even as I write this I'm getting frustrated with myself.
I don't use my phone/instagram/snapchat/forums of any kind with any kind of regularity anymore, so while having a weight loss instagram/whatever was helpful in the past, I don't really have time to take pictures of everything and write posts, etc. I can't guarantee that I'll have time everyday to check into an accountability post on the BP forums. Unless something is coming to me via text, there's almost no chance I'll get to it.
I have no idea what I need or even what I'm asking. Or if I'm asking anything at all. I just needed a place to vent, I suppose?
How do you all keep yourselves accountable if you don't have too much in the way of in-person support and don't have too much time to spend here on the forums? Perhaps later this year when I have more time to spend here, it won't feel so difficult and I won't feel quite like I'm doing this alone so much, but for now I just don't have the time. Especially not if I'm going to somehow create time for myself to workout.
For those of you who have tightly packed schedules and are making the time for yourselves early in the morning or late at night or whenever to get to the gym, how do you find the energy to get through your whole day without a nap or without a constant stream of caffeine? I feel zapped of energy all the time and all my Vitamins are in good working order (thought it might be Iron deficiency but no).
Is there anyone else here looking for a texting buddy for support? To talk about meal planning/recipes/keeping each other accountable with working out, etc.? I'm 30, studying to be a mortician, rarely at home except on the weekends when I'm studying non-stop. Please feel free to send me a message here if you're in a similar boat.
Any thoughts/advice is welcome. I'm feeling pretty lost and frustrated at this point. Thanks in advance for your comments and I appreciate whomever read this entire novella.


-A

You sound really busy, spread thin, and usually doing the best you can. Don't beat yourself up so much!! There's no guilt necessary.

You're farther on this journey than I am, and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I think you should be proud of how far you've come. Do your best to fit in yoga when you have time, at home or
Otherwise-- yoga should be relaxing you, not stressing you out! Lol

I seriously use my gym membership sparingly and the way I see it, if I go twice a month, I'm already getting my money's worth (it's $20/month or $10 1 day visitor pass). I usually go more than that, but I don't stress when I can't make it. I'm crazy busy too, early morning to late evenings and when I go it's usually late at night but hey, if I'm up to it I go. I look for exercise other ways. Taking the stairs, parking at the far lot at work, standing up and doing housework instead of watching TV. I can get 8,000 steps a day without stepping foot in the gym. You can do this!

Stay positive!! You got a lot going for you!!

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

6 hours ago, ahappycamper said:

Hi folks,

I was sleeved 11/22/16. Pre-op SW was 347lbs and CW is 197lbs. Lost 70lbs pre-op. My sleeve has been incredibly successful thus far, mostly without incorporating exercising into my routine. That is something I have only really started in the last two months.

I'm really struggling. I'm not 100% sure I know why. Maybe lack of support by others in the same boat? My surgeon offers a support group meeting, but they only meet on Mondays once a month and since last August I have had classes every Monday night save for two weeks during the holidays, but those days did not fall on support group meeting dates. I will continue to have Monday night classes until end of April at the earliest. Due to a number of factors (being in classes 1hr away from where I live every weeknight, working whenever I'm not in class, and generally being somewhat more introverted) I don't have too many local friends (most live 40 minutes or more away) and I have zero friends that are in the process of losing weight or generally getting fitter. My boyfriend is very supportive and encouraging, but he is much fitter than I am and currently working out with him is intimidating. I'd rather work out by myself at home or with a friend in a similar boat.

Additionally, both my boyfriend and I decided to recommit ourselves to our health/weight/fitness goals after the new year, but he hasn't kept up with working out that much which makes me somewhat less inclined to workout myself. We both have incredibly busy schedules and are up at 6am already and not done with work/responsibilities for the day until 8pm at the earliest and 10:30pm at the latest. We are truly exhausted physically and both our jobs/my schooling requires a lot of emotional and mental labor so we often don't feel we have much left for ourselves at the end of the day.

For Christmas I asked for and received an unlimited monthly pass to a yoga studio in town. I have loved yoga for years and was doing easily an hour of yoga at home by myself after the holidays, but then I began my pass. I attended once and that has been it so far. The studio's schedule seems to be set up for people who don't have to work and I have mild to medium-level anxiety about working out in front of people. Once I had the pass I felt like if I was going to do yoga, I had to do it at the studio so I stopped working out at home. Then I got it in my head that I needed to work on my cardio because my heart really needs strengthening. I debated getting a Planet Fitness membership for a few days and eventually just went for it. That was a week ago. I've been once and worked out for 20 minutes. I don't like going at their busy times and with my schedule that leaves 5am-6am (waking up at 4:30am to to get there) OR after 7 hours of work, two hours total commuting, and 6-7.5 hours of classes. That would put me at the gym at 9:30pm and not home until 11pm. I know mostly everyone is crazy busy and exhausted and they still find the time and motivation to work out, but I'm struggling to find it. It comes in spurts. Where I live is a great place to go running in the morning or at night when there aren't that many cars around to see me, but I've only managed to get myself to do that once in the last two weeks.

I'm also having a somewhat difficult time with food. Before my surgery and all through the diet that was managed by my nutritionist I did spectacularly. Ate according to my diet exactly and never strayed -- never even really felt too much in the way of cravings. I lived on Protein Shakes, yogurt, tuna fish, Soup, and salad for almost two years (pre and post). Once I was able to eat "real" food again, I got away from two Protein shakes a day and stopped eating yogurt -- had only one shake a day and ate regular food except carbs and too many veggies. Focused mostly on the one shake and Protein sources.

Since the holidays I've gone back to two shakes a day and occasionally eating yogurt. My diet now consists of Protein Shakes, turkey roll-ups, carrots and hummus, chicken breast, salad, cheese sticks, and more "real" food for dinners. Last night I did turkey taco bowls with lettuce, a table spoon and a half of rice, black Beans, red bell peppers, salsa, and a small swirl of non-fat greek yogurt. Filled a small bowl but didn't finish it all.

My carb cravings are off the charts, though. Baked goods and chocolate are almost all I think about. I have not been as strict about resisting these cravings as I should be.

In the past (years ago) I struggled with depression. I was on numerous medications for years trying to find something that worked, but never did. Eventually the depression let up and I was okay -- better than okay, even. I've considered that perhaps I'm having a small bout of depression but I have no interest in going back on medications after 6+ years of feeling like I was living in a fog and dealing with all the side effects which were HORRIBLE. I felt like my brain wasn't my own. Since that time period my memory has suffered and that scares the crap out of me. I don't want to tempt fate again. If it gets worse, I would certainly consider it much more seriously, but at this point I'm not even sure it's depression. Everyone naturally has small slumps and I'm hoping that is what this is.

I'm just not sure what to do. I think that setting weekly goals for myself is a great idea and would give me the direction I need, but I don't really have a method of accountability to make myself follow through. My boyfriend says he would like to be that for me, but the truth is that he just doesn't really have the time. He hardly has the time to be accountable to himself for his own health goals. (Plus, it isn't his responsibility, ya know? It's a lovely and thoughtful and generous offer, but ultimately it's on me.)

I meal plan for him and cook his lunches so he can eat healthy and do somewhat of the same thing for myself, but I find it a lot easier to do for him since he eats regular-people-style. I struggle to find foods that are easy and lightweight to transport that are tasty, not carb-loaded, and often do not require warming. All of my food essentially is on the go. Likely I SHOULD go back to multiple protein shakes a day, yogurt, and keep it super simple. I should. I know. I'm having a hard time letting go of the variety of savory flavors that "real" food offers, though. Most protein sources that would meet my needs are of the sweet variety. Shakes, yogurts, bars. But also I really missed the texture of food I had to chew. Even as I write this I'm getting frustrated with myself.

I don't use my phone/instagram/snapchat/forums of any kind with any kind of regularity anymore, so while having a weight loss instagram/whatever was helpful in the past, I don't really have time to take pictures of everything and write posts, etc. I can't guarantee that I'll have time everyday to check into an accountability post on the BP forums. Unless something is coming to me via text, there's almost no chance I'll get to it.

I have no idea what I need or even what I'm asking. Or if I'm asking anything at all. I just needed a place to vent, I suppose?

How do you all keep yourselves accountable if you don't have too much in the way of in-person support and don't have too much time to spend here on the forums? Perhaps later this year when I have more time to spend here, it won't feel so difficult and I won't feel quite like I'm doing this alone so much, but for now I just don't have the time. Especially not if I'm going to somehow create time for myself to workout.

For those of you who have tightly packed schedules and are making the time for yourselves early in the morning or late at night or whenever to get to the gym, how do you find the energy to get through your whole day without a nap or without a constant stream of caffeine? I feel zapped of energy all the time and all my Vitamins are in good working order (thought it might be Iron deficiency but no).

Is there anyone else here looking for a texting buddy for support? To talk about meal planning/recipes/keeping each other accountable with working out, etc.? I'm 30, studying to be a mortician, rarely at home except on the weekends when I'm studying non-stop. Please feel free to send me a message here if you're in a similar boat.

Any thoughts/advice is welcome. I'm feeling pretty lost and frustrated at this point. Thanks in advance for your comments and I appreciate whomever read this entire novella.

-A

(1) How do you all keep yourselves accountable if you don't have too much in the way of in-person support and don't have too much time to spend here on the forums?

Other people and this forum don't make me do the work I know I have to do. Some time its not motivation that keeps me going it's having perspective.

My perspective is...... anyone that has cancer with only three months to live would gladly trade places with me for my weight loss struggles. We all have struggles in life. It's what we do to overcome them that counts.

(2) For those of you who have tightly packed schedules and are making the time for yourselves early in the morning or late at night or whenever to get to the gym, how do you find the energy to get through your whole day without a nap or without a constant stream of caffeine? I feel zapped of energy all the time and all my Vitamins are in good working order (thought it might be Iron deficiency but no).

I workout in the evening. I drink a pre workout..I still sleep like a baby. exercise helps shake off the stress of the day. I go when I don't feel like it..I have days I'm zapped....

I've never left the gym saying " I really regret that I worked out today"

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Log your food (myfitnesspal) hit your protein goal cut back carbs. Drink lots of Water. Cook in bulk on your days off and freeze them in small batches to eat throughout the week

Baraitric recipies

http://insidekarenskitchen.com/bariatric-friendly-recipes/

Best of luck getting to your goal.