most ignorant reply

[sweet_liberty 1]

I've gotten the "you're taking the easy way out" a couple of times. That drives me insane. Don't they understand that I still have to work hard to lose the weight? It doesn't just come off by itself.

This week was my birthday and Halloween. I ate zero candy, had no birthday cake or special meal. I am still on full liquids, so my birthday dinner was Soup. Do NOT tell me that I am taking the easy way out when I am altering my lifestyle and sacrificing things I would LOVE to have but cannot.

-Libby :peace:

[make33 2]

We're all with you Lib!! We all know the sacrifices we now have to make with the Band. (And yes, I've had people say I should've tried another diet--maybe IT would have miraculously changed my metabolism, insinuating I was indeed taking the "easy way out".

Our lives and celebrations have been built around food--guess I'd rather have that, though, than those families whose celebrations revolve around alcohol (we can be cured!)

My husband's family reunion was the Saturday following my Tuesday surgery--I sipped on a Protein shake while the food looked so-o-o-o good!

WE are definitely going to make it!

[Skinny_Jill 36]

When I told one of my good friends I was good to have LBS she said "you know you could die." She kept telling me that her friend that worked at the surgery center had a patient die from LBS. I finally got the real story that is was 2 years after surgery and had absolutely nothing to do with her band. She later apologized and everything is good.

By the way, my surgery is 11/20. I set the date today so I am very excited!

[make33 2]

My best wishes to you, Jill--this is the best decision you could ever make in your lifetime!:clap2:

[TxArcher 2]

""give me the money your spending on your divorce and I will give your marital counseling"!"

HAR!!!! Now THAT'S creative!!!!

Yea, I think I will defiantly fire that at the fella if he keeps persisting! I am glad you got a kick out of it!

[lawanda jessica 0]

My aunt just asked me yesterday if after I made goal was I going to take the lapband out?

I said no because I might run across the wrong lamb chop!

What does she think this is an IUD?

[steph_co 9]

this actually happened yesteday. I told him how much I have lost, and I also told him the band wasn't "working" yet, as I have been filled, but I have not been eating solid food. However, the process of having the band and knowing what would happen if I did pig out accounted for a lot of the weight loss. He says something along the lines of, "So you are saying you have just dieted and exercised, and you paid for this? (I'm a self-pay) You are such a dumb-a$$: see, you could have done this on your own." I seriously wanted to stomp a mud-hole in his a$$ after that little gem of a comment. Instead, I got down to his level, and said "If it is so easy, then why do you look like a pregnant marsupial with that stomach pouch you've got going on?" Ahhh, we men are so not nice sometimes.

LOL!! I think it was being raised with a brother only 2 years older than me, but for some reason this kind of humor gets me. I could so see him saying this to one of his friends.

I can just see it now..."give me the money your spending on your divorce and I will give your marital counseling"!

Somehow I dont think it would go over very well.

Heehee...now that's classic. I so dare you. LOL

[insubordination 0]

Ever noticed that people love to tell you what you can't do? Howz about a bit o' encouragement for a change.

[FarmerE 0]

I just recently started telling people at work that I had been banded. I've been there almost eight years and they've all seen my weight fluctuate from dieting. Among many comments....

"You don't need it" ......... uh yeah, cause I like being 80 lbs overweight and worried about developing diabetes?

"There's no way you should be that thin! (and then makes faces)".....in response to their questions of how much the doctor/I feel I need to lose. Gee, it's not like I'm telling them I'm going to weigh only 80 lbs. My goal is 120-130....normal for someone who is 5'3.

"But you've done fine on Weight Watchers" Yeah but I've lost and gained the same frigging 50 lbs at least four times over.

And then the many questions about having it removed when I hit goal, or not being able to get pregnant, etc. Usually the ones that are more open, I can explain things to or even pull up a website. The other ones, I just don't bother with.

You are right Insub...Only one of my best friends has said, "Gee that's so great. You are going to do awesome on this! I'll help ya out and we'll go shopping for new clothes when the time comes!" (she's my best friend though, she's required to say this. :confused:

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I think people just don't know what to say. I don't think they are trying to be stupid or unsupportive, I think sometimes when caught off guard there really is no right answer.

Me: Hey, I got a lapband!

Coworker: Great, you are really fat!

I mean, if they are extra supportive in their mind isn't that the same as acknowledging we are fat? When caught off guard I can see how it would be an uncomfortable situation. Saying, "Oh, you don't need that!" I hear them saying, "You do need to lose weight but I'll be polite and say you don't need it."

I mean, I don't think people are intentionally being rude but with everyone big on being PC I think some folks just don't know how to handle WLS. It's not one of those scenarios we typically practice going over in our minds so on the off chance it happens one day we'll be prepared.

Another example, a couple of years ago one of the nurse managers was preggers. I mean, it was obvious. When I realized she was preggers I congratulated her. She looked like she was due to pop in a month. She didn't say anything, I wasn't even sure she heard me.

My coworker got me off to the side and explained she wasn't preggers. The hell she wasn't, she was!

Turns out I was right, she was preggers, she was due in two months, and she was annoyed that after all those months of being pregnant I was the only one that commented on it. Everyone else just thought she was gaining more weight and her feelings were hurt and by the time I came along and noticed, it was too late. She was angry that everyone was ignoring her pregnancy.

Sometimes I don't know that there is a right answer. It's not like there is a script you can read. Kinda like how some people when they lose half their excess body weight a person might congratulate them on being "skinny" ... some fat folks will take offense to that and others will take it in the spirit intended. There IS no right answer. You can tell 10 fat people the SAME thing and get 10 different reactions.

I think we need to give those around us a bit of a break.

[Jeni 85 0]

I haven't had any negative comments but a funny situation presented itself last week. I am attending massage therapy school and last week we learned abdomen massage. Since the students work on each other I thought I had better tell the student working on me that she might feel a strange object in my stomach. My port, although not visible, is very easy to feel.

Well, when the other students heard that they all came running over to feel my port. There I am, laying on the table with my stomach exposed and 8 students rubbing it. It was pretty funny.

HA HA HA... LOL ... i can so see that too... Where i went to school for medical assisting they also had a message therapy classes..

And this is kind of off topic a little but like 3-4 days after surgery i had to take my cpr certification test... not fun when your abdomen kills and you cant take the pain meds..

My SIL informed me she was loosing weight the hard way (weight watchers). I could have stangled her, but just smiled. I noticed the other day she is heaver than ever, weight watchers must not be working.

JP

Ya my best friend says this a lot..."oh im doing it the right way with diet and excercise".. and "you're taking the easy way out"..l oh and my personal favorite "god i would never have surgery to lose weight that so stupid"....

But then again there are times where she does support what i did..

lol then again i used to weigh 80lbs heavier than her and now i only weigh 15lbs higher i believe will she is still going back and forth the same 5lbs. ......

dont get me wrong im not making fun or anything i can totally relate (especially when i hit a dang plateau and before LBT except i would lose 5 and gain 10)

I've gotten the "you're taking the easy way out" a couple of times. That drives me insane. Don't they understand that I still have to work hard to lose the weight? It doesn't just come off by itself.

This week was my birthday and Halloween. I ate zero candy, had no birthday cake or special meal. I am still on full liquids, so my birthday dinner was Soup. Do NOT tell me that I am taking the easy way out when I am altering my lifestyle and sacrificing things I would LOVE to have but cannot.

-Libby :peace:

I had my band buddy put in march 15 and my birthday was the 27th... it kinda sucked to have to eat applesauce but i told myself its worth it.. just think this is a birthday present to myself and i will be so much healthy next year

I think people just don't know what to say. I don't think they are trying to be stupid or unsupportive, I think sometimes when caught off guard there really is no right answer.

Me: Hey, I got a lapband!

Coworker: Great, you are really fat!

I mean, if they are extra supportive in their mind isn't that the same as acknowledging we are fat? When caught off guard I can see how it would be an uncomfortable situation. Saying, "Oh, you don't need that!" I hear them saying, "You do need to lose weight but I'll be polite and say you don't need it."

I mean, I don't think people are intentionally being rude but with everyone big on being PC I think some folks just don't know how to handle WLS. It's not one of those scenarios we typically practice going over in our minds so on the off chance it happens one day we'll be prepared.

Another example, a couple of years ago one of the nurse managers was preggers. I mean, it was obvious. When I realized she was preggers I congratulated her. She looked like she was due to pop in a month. She didn't say anything, I wasn't even sure she heard me.

My coworker got me off to the side and explained she wasn't preggers. The hell she wasn't, she was!

Turns out I was right, she was preggers, she was due in two months, and she was annoyed that after all those months of being pregnant I was the only one that commented on it. Everyone else just thought she was gaining more weight and her feelings were hurt and by the time I came along and noticed, it was too late. She was angry that everyone was ignoring her pregnancy.

Sometimes I don't know that there is a right answer. It's not like there is a script you can read. Kinda like how some people when they lose half their excess body weight a person might congratulate them on being "skinny" ... some fat folks will take offense to that and others will take it in the spirit intended. There IS no right answer. You can tell 10 fat people the SAME thing and get 10 different reactions.

I think we need to give those around us a bit of a break.

Some people do it unintentionally i completely agree but there are those who just are plain mean.

:biggrin1:

But the funniest thing is when my mom tries to explain to someone else that i had or am going to get a fill she always makes this hand gesture as if she were to use a screwdriver or something like that to do the fil (or as she likes to say make it tighter) Too funny

[gweniviere 0]

Well, this thread has been an interesting read....

I think my most frustrating comments are from ppl that say things like "well you still have to work at it you know, this isn't just going to take care of everything for you"....ummmm geee thanks for THAT tid bit.

Or...(3 weeks post op) "well great so as soon as you can get to the gym the better this will go and then you will really start losing"....I know exercise helps yes...and I plan to. HOWEVER it was a slap because I wasn't even on solid foods yet! lol.

And the one that REALLY bugged me...was when I called my Mom about a week after my surgery and instead of saying HI she said "so how much have you lost?" Well hello to you too!

[mandilou 1]

Me: Hey, I got a lapband!

Coworker: Great, you are really fat!

:wink_smile:

this just totally cracked me up.

I've played the weight-loss/gain-it-back game so many times, and it's always embarassing when your co-workers and family watches from the sidelines. It's like, just because they can see it happen, doesn't mean it's okay for them to jump in like they're a part of the whole process! Questions are fine, a short comment is okay, but why feel a need to editorialize MY fat!?

[purplegoddess 0]

I've gotten a few, mainly from the other nurses at work:

"You're not that fat--you don't need the surgery." Hello, you're wearing a small in scrubs and I'm in a 2XL. Thanks for the compliment (not!)?

"Why don't you just get RNY and get it over with?" Ummm...many reasons. I chose my surgery for what was best for me. And, "get it over with?" Yeah, my weight loss is slower then those with RNY, but I feel it is the healthier choice.

Then, there are all the women who want to lose 20-30 pounds who keep asking me about the band because they "are thinking about it". Ummm...with a BMI around 30? You must be self pay then...this isn't for losing 20 pounds, this is for life!

[jtag10_4 2]

The nurse that was prepping me for surgery said

"So what made you decide on getting the lapband?"

My reply was "because I'm fat."

I think I already had medicine in my IV because it was TOTALLY funny at the time - my mom and I were ROLLIN'!!!

She wasn't as amused, probably thought "that damn punk kid"