Just had first appointment with surgeon, equal parts terrified and excited

[BurpeeZombie 25]

I’m literally sitting in the parking lot of my doctors office. After about a month or lurking I decided to finally join this forum, since this is actually seeming real. I’ve been debating this surgery for over a year, but felt I could “do it on my own”.

I keep trying to not get too excited, because i was sure that I wouldn’t qualify, or the out of pocket cost would be too much. The doctor seemed confident that I wouldn’t get denied by insurance. I also found out my only out of pocket cost is $500!!! What?!?! That includes all my presurgey step like ultrasound, NUT, psych, endo, etc. Plus, a year or post surgery NUT! This seems amazing!!

The only thing is I have to lose 10 pounds by surgery, which could be IN APRIL!! I was fully thinking it would be no earlier than July! I have no problem losing 10 pounds, I’m just freaking out It could happen so soon. I’m so excited! Also, I’m so scared. Scared this is the worst decision of my life. Scared I will regret this. Scared I could have done this on my own. Scared I will miss food. Scared I will be jealous of my fiancé eating food. Scared I will feel like I’m “missing out”. Scared of ruining my body. Ugh.

[vonzims 1]

Omg I JUST left my surgeons office an hour ago after meeting her for the first time. I have to go for a scope to check my stomach lining, but otherwise she said I should get in for surgery within a couple months after the scope. I have the exact same fears. I’m scared I’ll regret doing this, that I’ll be hungry all the time, scared that I’ll be sick or puking all the time, scared I’ll stretch my stomach back out and ruin everything I’ve worked so damn hard for, scared that I won’t lose much more weight (my BMI is currently 32 but was 43 when I started my journey) and just all over scared. I’m also excited. So freaking excited - excited to start the rest of my life, excited to enjoy doing activities with my boyfriend again, excited to be in less pain, excited to not hate looking at pictures of myself, excited to not have to pay a dime for any of my surgery/pre-op day post op stuff, besides food/shakes. Congrats on getting this far, and you can pinch yourself cuz you’re not dreaming! This is really happening!!

[BurpeeZombie 25]

On 1/16/2018 at 4:28 PM, vonzims said:

Omg I JUST left my surgeons office an hour ago after meeting her for the first time. I have to go for a scope to check my stomach lining, but otherwise she said I should get in for surgery within a couple months after the scope. I have the exact same fears. I’m scared I’ll regret doing this, that I’ll be hungry all the time, scared that I’ll be sick or puking all the time, scared I’ll stretch my stomach back out and ruin everything I’ve worked so damn hard for, scared that I won’t lose much more weight (my BMI is currently 32 but was 43 when I started my journey) and just all over scared. I’m also excited. So freaking excited - excited to start the rest of my life, excited to enjoy doing activities with my boyfriend again, excited to be in less pain, excited to not hate looking at pictures of myself, excited to not have to pay a dime for any of my surgery/pre-op day post op stuff, besides food/shakes. Congrats on getting this far, and you can pinch yourself cuz you’re not dreaming! This is really happening!!

I’m so happy that I’m not the only one feeling this way! I really agree about being ready to start my life again. I only gained this weight within the last 2 years, and I feel like I’m 70 years old. I’m in pain all the damn time. I would love to go hiking with my fiancé but I have no energy and feel like crap all the time.

Im so ready to start living my life again!!