Rant that is looking for advice

[Pazza 199]

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.

Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??

Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.

Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.

Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -

Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. Food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.

Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.

It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.

Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.

Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

57 minutes ago, Pazza said:

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.

Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??

Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.

Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.

Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -

Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.

Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.

It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.

Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.

Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

Perhaps you could use the perspective of body positivity which is a huge movement now. Focus on self live and positive choices in all aspects of life. Sometimes positive changes have a domino effect and can support weightloss with it being the main objective. Teens need alot of reinforcement in the selflove category...

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

1 hour ago, Pazza said:

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.

Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??

Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.

Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.

Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -

Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.

Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.

It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.

Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.

Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

My advice:

rough that they are putting you in an awkward position. I would refer the parents to their family Dr. Bow out gracefully and say weight loss advice would be better coming from a medical professional.

Another option to think about. Does your employer offer weight loss/nutrition or fitness classes for teenagers? Can they develop a program or partner with an agency that does?

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Bravo for a tough job!! ((hugs)) Thank you for being in the trenches. I agree with @jenn1. Let the docs and professionals give medical and psych advice. You can lead by example and by having an open ear and broad shoulders.

[James Marusek 5,244]

It sounds like you already know what to say to the girls. Just tell them your story - the good and the bad.

[MJai 2]

I am guessing that you might work with at-risk teenagers. If I am wrong, hopefully this response will still be helpful. These girls have enough issues with self esteem and they don't need someone they see everyday reminding them that they don't fit the profile of a perfect body. Reminding them that no one does, won't mean a thing to them.

Have any on them broached you on your weight loss journey? Do they see the changes before and after in your eating habits? exercise?

If they do, then share some of what you have done, to possibly motivate them to make changes in their life, so they don't need surgery later.

Let the parents know that you don't want to sabatage the working relationship you have with their daughters.