Any Relationship Problems?

[StanCounty29 70]

It seems like the further i get into my journey which its (3yrs) in. It seems like every discussion/ argument ends up with (oh now that u lost weight). Ugh I'm so tiered of hearing the same old record. I chose to loose weight because of health problems and to feel better. I mean and of course what women does not want to look good and sexy with it all. I really don't comprehend what is happening in his head. But im done with this relationship and this situation. I seen a lot of stories on youtube about how they had partners that did not agree with their decision and caused them to divorce, and i always told myself i was not going to go through same situation and Here i am! So just wondering if anyone is going through the same or similar, or have gone through a rough patch as well?

[Biddy zz 🏳️🌈 1,003]

No, not me. My partner has taken to answering me with “good thinking, missus shrinking and a huge grin.

Life is short. Bad relationships... use it up! Maybe try couples counselling so he can express his fears? And together you can find a way around it?

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

6 hours ago, StanCounty29 said:

if anyone is going through the same or similar, or have gone through a rough patch as well?

Not in my case.

My wife also has weight issues. Hers are undergoing support with a course of gastric balloons. She's come from 122kg to about 87kg (265 pounds to 190 pounds).

I have had a gastric sleeve 12 weeks ago.

She is very positive about my choice and me hers. SHe's my number #1 fan.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

2 hours ago, Biddynz said:

Maybe try couples counselling so he can express his fears? And together you can find a way around it?

Worthy wisdom!

[336Mike 549]

I'd recommend counseling as well. My marraige ended...she refused to participate in counseling. You'll know deep down what the right decision is. Don't give up too soon if you do love him. He may be insecure and not know how to express it.

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 243 GW = 220 (6'5")

[StanCounty29 70]

Thank u all for the advice. All ready tried counseling. But I've been dealing with this problem for about 10yrs🕘 with this man. And yes 336Mike I did love him❤. I've been the one to give him the benefit of the doubt and have fought for this relationship. Especially since we have kids involved. But now like I said prior, it has gotten worse. 😢

My way of being had never changed. Always been a Happy 😁 outgoing person, and just to know I have to wake up too anger 😤 and insecurities at this point of our relationship, it just crazy 😵 to me.

I just think the weight loss added more issues. Because that's all I hear now!

But thank u all again for the advice 😘 truly appreciate it.

[336Mike 549]

I understand. You may need to make a choice you've been fighting against for years. Wish there was an easy answer for this. Whatever happens, continue to stay on track for your health and your kids!

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 243 GW = 220 (6'5")

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Thank u all for the advice. All ready tried counseling. But I've been dealing with this problem for about 10yrs[emoji799] with this man. And yes 336Mike I did love him[emoji173]. I've been the one to give him the benefit of the doubt and have fought for this relationship. Especially since we have kids involved. But now like I said prior, it has gotten worse. [emoji22]
My way of being had never changed. Always been a Happy [emoji16] outgoing person, and just to know I have to wake up too anger [emoji36] and insecurities at this point of our relationship, it just crazy [emoji43] to me.
I just think the weight loss added more issues. Because that's all I hear now!
But thank u all again for the advice [emoji8] truly appreciate it.

Trust me. Don't think because you have kids that should keep you together if it's an angry house hold they deserve a calm environment even if they don't witness it.yiur mood is effected. I ended my marriage and I had a 1 and 2 year old. No regrets. I'd never encourage someone to end things as it isn't easy . But if you have tried couples counseling and he's getting worse it seems like your stuck. I'm sorry

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[PrayingForWeightLoss 337]

Well done for choosing surgery to improve your health!!!
So sorry StanCounty29 that you are going through this. I am not sure what I would do if my husband was not supportive. It must be upsetting having him use your wellness journey to hurt you.
For me, it is a different story. My husband is happy that I am getting the results I wanted. He is very encouraging that I have stayed the course after seeing me try hundreds of diets over the years and the disappointment in myself when I gave up and gained the weight back.
I hope you make the right decisions for you and your kids. Seems like he is displaying middle school like behaviors by picking on a scab constantly just to hurt you. Very sad for a grown up to do that.

[MsTipps 314]

This is extremely tough. I really feel for you. It sounds like there may be deeper issues than just insecurity relating to your weightloss if it has been going on for such a long time. If you both are committed to making it work, try counselling again as no problem is insurmountable but remember, it takes TWO to make it work. You can't pile all the pressure onto yourself. As far as the kids go, it's better to have two happy parents who live in different houses than two sad and angry parents under one roof. X hugs X

[Lifechange2018 3]

Yes I think I’m about to go through the same issues...although I haven’t had surgery yet I can tell it’s going to bother my partner. I told him yesterday when my meeting with the surgeon would be and he replies “bae you know I work”...we’ve been talking about this day for a while and he said he would come with me for support but I see he’s in a different mind space. I said no more about it and I’m not going too, you can tell when someone is supporting you and when there not. I feel for ya girl...

Edited February 23, 2018 by Lifechange2018

[frust8 963]

Lifechange2018 I think WLS is difficult for husbands, wives, and patners to wrap their minds around. Many can't or won't try to understand. They may think we are perfect the way we are. One of my bari-sisters S.O. said to her "But you're mutilating your body!" she told me this, the jury is still out whether this relationship will continue. I think everyone should attend an informational meeting or doctors appointment with you. Perhaps they just regard this as a whim on your part? Just saying.

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