Who did you tell? Choosing your support carefully...

[Down South Aussie 65]

For me personally i have chosen to keep those who know to a very small number. I figure others dont need to know more, they will see the results. I have informed my boss as it will impact my work, but no one else will know from my work until the next time they see me on a trip (i work from home most of the time). As for my family, that is a whole other kettle of fish. My mother had a lapband done, has since learned to cheat and now has gained back all of her weight. One sister is obese, bordering on morbidly obese but she doesnt seem to want to do anything about it. My other sister is only 28 and already on a multitude of pills to help her live. Ultimately my family lives in another country and my immediate family is here with me my extended family is back in Australia so they may not see me for another 2 or 3 years.

As for my immediate family, my wife is completely on board she figures the cost in time, money and effort is going to pay off because i will be around longer. My son is very supportive and is happy i will be able to do more with him. My daughter is a little scared of the 0.3% who have complications and that i will fall into that category.

[Brad77777 3]

I am the number 1 Dance Music Promoter. I have documented my journey, have done live videos and am incredibly honest with my artists, the industry and the fans. They are following me every step of the way. I figured I could be honest or risk having untruth's and rumors written about me.
I am also hoping my journey will take away the stigma and help others.

Do you be a website or link which documents your journey that your would care to share. I have a very public profession and I am trying to get my head right about who to tell or what to tell them when asked.

[PeachesCat 10]

11 hours ago, Brad77777 said:

Do you be a website or link which documents your journey that your would care to share. I have a very public profession and I am trying to get my head right about who to tell or what to tell them when asked.

I don't have time for a website lol. I document everything on my FB pages. My surgery is February 19th. I put a deadline to everybody who wants to hire me to put together a remix package for their single or want me to promote an upcoming single that I will be out of the office because I am getting Bariatric surgery and plan accordingly. I am in a business (the music business) where part of it is looks. I am 350 lbs. I don't fit in. I also own news radio stations. It was a journey for me to get approved for surgery and I documented it to show people the problems of the health care system. I am using my surgery to educate others. I used to hide and nobody knew what I looked like because I am fat and I don't want my fatness to hurt my artists. Now I am using this to educate others.

[sarhgrif 127]

I've decided to tell my immediate family and my boss at work which is basically like my work mom. We talk about a lot outside of work and I needed to ask off and wanted her to know. My own dad would greatly benefit but isn't supportive of the surgery, however he is happy for me.
I have been debating telling others as my surgery is next month. I really don't want others constantly asking how things are going, how much I've lost, etc. I may end up changing my mind later but I think I will keep with the confidentiality of my medical history.

[TexasMommy80 297]

I haven’t told many people because I don’t have a lot of support. My entire family is large, but we are all around the same size, with a BMI around 35-38. They do not think that I should consider it with a BMI of 38, but I am.

I have been talking to my boyfriend about it too and he said he supported me, until I told him I had my END on Friday. He didn’t realize I was serious until that point, and now he is dead set against it. He is super fit and a body builder, so this surprises me. I know he prefers a little meat on me, but I have no plans on dropping to a tiny size. My goal is 160 and I’ve been there before. I was so happy and felt so good, but he’s never seen me below 200. I am so torn. I would hate to risk our relationship but I want to do this for me.

[PeachesCat 10]

5 minutes ago, TexasMommy80 said:

I haven’t told many people because I don’t have a lot of support. My entire family is large, but we are all around the same size, with a BMI around 35-38. They do not think that I should consider it with a BMI of 38, but I am.

I have been talking to my boyfriend about it too and he said he supported me, until I told him I had my END on Friday. He didn’t realize I was serious until that point, and now he is dead set against it. He is super fit and a body builder, so this surprises me. I know he prefers a little meat on me, but I have no plans on dropping to a tiny size. My goal is 160 and I’ve been there before. I was so happy and felt so good, but he’s never seen me below 200. I am so torn. I would hate to risk our relationship but I want to do this for me.

No offense, but your boyfriend should want you to have the surgery for health reasons if nothing else. Is there a reason why he doesn't want you to have the surgery? Like a fear something will happen?

[Down South Aussie 65]

12 minutes ago, TexasMommy80 said:

I know he prefers a little meat on me, but I have no plans on dropping to a tiny size. My goal is 160 and I’ve been there before. I was so happy and felt so good, but he’s never seen me below 200. I am so torn. I would hate to risk our relationship but I want to do this for me.

I guess one way to look at it is, are you putting the relationship in just as much danger by not having the surgery? That is how my wife and i looked at it, I may not be around in 10 years if i continue on the road i am right now. Are the health dangers of being over weight just as dangerous to your relationship in the long run as it might be if you get healthy.

It is certainly tough for those around you to think that what they have come to know in you might change, and inevitably change scares people.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Down South Aussie

[kakatlady612 1,053]

My grandma-instinct is he fears for your relationship. You might leave him if you get thin, find somebody else. He has been Mr Sleek and Fit and you were a liitle, shall we we say, fluffy. I think he should be glad you want to be fitter but then I'm not a man.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[TexasMommy80 297]

I think that is just weary of change. We have been together 4.5 years and we are comfortable and happy together. He knows that it is up to me but he just doesn’t think I need it. I do think that he has an image of going from one extreme to another, and that bothers him. Either way, I’m tired, my knees hurt (already had a TKR at 36), and I am ready for a change. I am doing this for me.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Good girl, you're doing it for the best reason, I've had both knees replaced but not as young as you. Keep us updated, I'm very proud of you as I am of most of my Bariatric pals.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Jerseygirl4523 44]

57 minutes ago, TexasMommy80 said:

I haven’t told many people because I don’t have a lot of support. My entire family is large, but we are all around the same size, with a BMI around 35-38. They do not think that I should consider it with a BMI of 38, but I am.

I have been talking to my boyfriend about it too and he said he supported me, until I told him I had my END on Friday. He didn’t realize I was serious until that point, and now he is dead set against it. He is super fit and a body builder, so this surprises me. I know he prefers a little meat on me, but I have no plans on dropping to a tiny size. My goal is 160 and I’ve been there before. I was so happy and felt so good, but he’s never seen me below 200. I am so torn. I would hate to risk our relationship but I want to do this for me.

Is he insecure? He may want to keep you bigger to avoid fear of losing you

[Sarah Cooney 13]

Right now only 3 people know. My husband, my mom and my best friend. But once I am approved and have surgery date( everything sent to insurance yesterday!!!) I plan to make it public. It’s going to be a huge change. And people will notice better to come from me than rumors.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Told my husband and two teen girls (we all live in the same house.) Told two good friends. Did not tell mother or sister. Sister still doesn't know. Mom died without ever knowing. I knew my mother would be unsupportive and nasty about it. My sister wouldn't understand (she's never had a weight problem.) Told them at work I was having a procedure and would be out a few days. Whenever anyone asks, I say I track everything I eat, am following a physician led high Protein diet, exercise 5-7 days a week and eliminated almost all sugar and flour from my diet. All of that is true.

Do not let the negative Nellies get in your head.

[Sadiebug 206]

Before surgery I only old a few people - my husband, best friend and my parents who came and helped me for a couple days after surgery (I didn't need it...but it made them feel better). My parents ended up telling several family members and friends without my ok which was annoying but it's people I don't see frequently so ended up being no big deal. After surgery I've been selective about who I tell. When asked about my weight loss I sometimes mention the surgery and other times I just say diet and exercise. It really depends on the person and how I think they might react.

[K_aane 356]

Told my husband and two teen girls (we all live in the same house.) Told two good friends. Did not tell mother or sister. Sister still doesn't know. Mom died without ever knowing. I knew my mother would be unsupportive and nasty about it. My sister wouldn't understand (she's never had a weight problem.) Told them at work I was having a procedure and would be out a few days. Whenever anyone asks, I say I track everything I eat, am following a physician led high Protein diet, exercise 5-7 days a week and eliminated almost all sugar and flour from my diet. All of that is true.
Do not let the negative Nellies get in your head.

A wave to you Diana!!!!! Ditto what she said!!
I have kept my surgery a secret, only my niece (who had the surgery), my godchild, my hubby and now my 2 sisters. I was worried about telling them but since I was able to have my hernia surgery in Dec I wanted them to know. Turned out they were both very happy and have been my biggest cheerleaders. They also agree that I don't need to tell anyone else. So far I have lost 42lbs. 6 mo. It's been slow but the benefits are, skin has a chance to catch up and no one looks at me and says, oh wow you must have had wls!! ( with that very smug disgusting disapproval look)
I just credit my loss to having been strict bc I needed the hernia surgery. Now that I have had the hernias repaired I am cleared to workout like a champ. I hope to knock off another 50lbs by July 2018, my 1 yr mark.
If you are thick skinned and don't mind being scrutinized, then tell everyone, just be prepared for the "oh you took the easy way out comments along with the rest of the b.s. that comes along.
One-day maybe I don't know, if someone makes a shitty remark, who knows what I might say. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Right now, this is for me, to get my life back and man I am loving it!!!!!
Between the support here, my few family members and my Instagram buddies it's enough. I love sharing my little milestones and struggles with those who truly care and understand.
Everyone else can go ....well you finish it....lol if you are like me it's the expletives!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
As the Lady Gaga song says, "so happy I could die"




HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1" instagram: K_aane_VSG