Feel like a liar

[Apple203 1,314]

My PCP brought up surgery to me first, glad she is in my corner.

Regarding people's opinions...I haven't had the surgery yet but I did raise a kid with Type 1 diabetes. The things people would say about his diet, oy! Mainly from confusing type 1 with type 2 diabetes. I'm not planning on telling anyone that I don't have to.

[Jenopolis 38]

This is such an interesting question. I didn't purposely tell a lot of people beforehand, and I have never mentioned it at work because I don't talk about personal stuff at work, it's kind of a formal office.

That said, since the surgery, many people have asked me for my "diet secret", and I am always open and say, I had weight loss surgery. You asked about what bad things people can say-- they don't say "bad" things in my experience, it's more of a "ohhhhh, so you took the easy way out" kind of thing. Which annoys me because it is NOT easy, the first few months are horrible, and even now, 8 months out, I don't eat sugar, bread, or any other simple carbohydrates. I don't drink fizzy anything, I take a gazillion Vitamins day and night, and I measure my Protein and fluids every day to make sure I don't lose muscle or get weak and light-headed.

Is it worth it? Hell yes! I've been following diet rules for years with nowhere near these results, so following the rules and actually losing weight is a dream come true. And most people just tell me "you look great" and move on, no big conversation wanted or needed. But the only bad I can think of is the perception that you don't earn this weight loss-- which is silly and totally wrong, but whatever.

Whatever you choose, there is no right or wrong way to do it, imho. Also-- I think you'll be pretty damn happy with your life and weight loss, so that cushions the blow. Good luck!!

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Here's my alternative view. I told my husband, my two teen daughters who live with me and my best friend. That's it. Work just knew I was having a surgical procedure (it was all they were entitled to know) as well as how long I thought I'd be out. When people ask, I tell them I eat a very high Protein, low carb, low sugar diet; I work out 10-15 hours a week and log everything in My Fitness Pal. Every last bit of that is true.

I wouldn't tell people at work or elsewhere any of my other health issues/stories/resolutions, so I'm not sharing this one. My mother and sister don't know. I'm fine with that, but I'm very private about my health.

Everyone is different.

[Apple203 1,314]

3 hours ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

Here's my alternative view. I told my husband, my two teen daughters who live with me and my best friend. That's it. Work just knew I was having a surgical procedure (it was all they were entitled to know) as well as how long I thought I'd be out. When people ask, I tell them I eat a very high Protein, low carb, low sugar diet; I work out 10-15 hours a week and log everything in My Fitness Pal. Every last bit of that is true.

I wouldn't tell people at work or elsewhere any of my other health issues/stories/resolutions, so I'm not sharing this one. My mother and sister don't know. I'm fine with that, but I'm very private about my health.

Everyone is different.

Yes to what you said. I had a total hysterectomy last year, only my immediate boss knew. Its just...personal, right? (she says on a public forum...)

And I absolutely love that you fence -- wha???

Edited December 14, 2017 by Apple203

[DropWt4Life 957]

I feel the same. Nobody's business what I do. I also don't feel that it is lying to tell people that I eat less, eat better and move more. That is essentially what I do.

To your question about people being mean, a manager at my job had GB a few years back. She stopped losing weight, and had re-gain. She seems to be the running joke of the company as everyone keeps making comments about it every time she puts something in her mouth.

There is no way they are going to know my business.

[belinda401 116]

8 hours ago, BigViffer said:

For me, lying or obfuscating the truth is too much work. I don't want to have to remember what I said a year ago or even a week ago. I would much rather just answer with the truth. That being said, I never wanted to inspire anyone either. I really could care less what anyone thinks of me and I sure don't concern myself with others business. If someone in my office asked that I am not a personal friend I would make something up on the spot.

lol, with a deadpan face and no humor in my voice I told people who were rude enough to ask that I lost weight from chemo, drug addiction, my wife leaving me, tapeworm... you name it. But as soon as they would mention that to anyone, "I heard that BigViffer lost all that weight because of his meth addiction!" There would be someone who would give them a dumbfounded look and tell them I had surgery.

TL:DR - tell people whatever you want because you are the one who will be dealing with it, not your friend.

I love it! That is my plan when people start asking me if I'm sick I am just going to shrug and say "they can't figure out what's wrong" and cry and walk off.

[BigViffer 3,544]

Ooh! Crying is good! Make them feel like a total @ss for bringing it up!

Sent from my phone. Please forgive brevity and spelling.

[Editor57 11]

My PCP discussed the surgery with me for 10 years before I decided to pursue it this spring. And I found the process so arduous that I had to tell the guys I work with. From there it wasn’t a big leap to being open about it, down to talking about it on Facebook and Twitter. I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life (I’m 60) and for the past four years the world has watched me struggle with orthopedic issues. The reaction has been very positive and supportive. Sure, there are always a few who say and ask really ignorant things, but that’s their problem, not mine. Many more have thanked me for sharing the journey. I was sleeved on Tuesday (Dec. 12), released the next day and drove to CVS today. I feel good. Struggling a bit to get in all of the Protein and Water, but today was better than yesterday. And when I return to work, I won’t have to explain the water, the weird eating.

[ShelbyMoore 84]

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my husband and he respects my decision and I know won’t say anything.

I’m a very private person and would never dream of telling others about any medical procedure I’ve had. I also don’t share general personal stuff either. In this forum is the only place I talk about it. It’s a safe place with lots of support and no judging.

I’ve had a few people at work comment on my weight loss saying I’m looking good.. They asked how I’m doing it. My reply is that I’ve increased my Protein, no more bread, Pasta, rice, no more sugar (I quit sugar about 6 months ago) and I’m exercising more. All of that is the truth. I don’t feel I’m lying.

My sister had the sleeve done about 5 years ago. She told many people. Some told her it’s an easy way to lose weight and one person actually told her she would die from the surgery a few years down the road. I was appalled. Of course, she became worried. She told me she wished she had kept it private.

I have a friend who was sleeved who told her co-workers. She too was judged and wished she hadn’t told.

I also hear about many who share their surgery experience and have had no issues with doing that.

I think if you decide to share just be prepared for possible negative comments. Many can brush them off and let it go. Some have a more difficult time.

It’s a personal choice of whether to tell others. I wish you the best in your journey and much success. Enjoy the process as you gradually slim down.

[Stella S 612]

First it is ok for some things to be private. My work place is very judge mental towards carrying extra weight and WLS surgery is for all intensive purposes unheard of. My spouse knew and my parents. If worked would have asked when I had plastics I planned to sa penis transplant. No one asked about either After a yearpost sleeve some asked if my health was OK. It somehow worked.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

I'm a private person about some things, and other things I'm an open book. I'm flying by the seat of my pants with this thing. Some people like fam, I tell off the bat. My clients? Meh, they only know I will be off having a procedure. My friends, mostly just know I live on a perpetual diet and that I was finally dx'd with hypothyroid and low B1 and am now on meds.

If I ever end up going back to my low carb blog--which will only happen if I lose the weight and my lymphedema then stays in control...(cuz it isn't in control now and doesn't stay in any control right now and the time it takes to do computer/photos and cooking makes the disease progress, swell more, and hurt too badly)...then I would totally share and be transparent because I think it has the potential to really help some of the people who read there and who are struggling. I also don't want them to think that I magically was able to start losing successfully again with low carb, when I previously could not gain any appreciable headway beyond a certain 60lb loss (from 325 down to 260).

Most of my reticence is self-protection because I've failed so many times on weightloss that it is difficult to fully believe that this time will be any different...

Edited December 15, 2017 by FluffyChix

[Holls06 98]

I was very hesitant to let people know i was getting the surgery as well. I only let a very few people know when i was in the process of getting insurance approved, and my EGD and all that done. I wanted to at least wait til i had my surgery date scheduled. I guess my reasoning was more I dont like people in my business and i HATE when people ask 21 questions lol. But you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Most people think its the "easy" way out to loose weight, but its a lot more work in my opinion. Your diet it a VERY restricted and you have to recover and basically change your life. Your bf has your best interest, but if you dont care what other think i say shout it to the world!

[GoddessMoon 108]

I understand your friend may be trying to "protect" you, but in the end it is YOUR choice who you tell.

Everyone knows i have had it, and there are people I know that live around me and they have it. Everyone is supportive. If the individuals where you live have not heard of the weight loss surgery, what is wrong with giving them information on it? Sometimes we have to be the ones to open others eyes to new things and possibilities.

This is your journey, not your friends.

[TexasMommy80 297]

I have a friend who has hidden it and now does health and fitness coaching. I can’t help but flinch when I hear her telling other friends and clients that she did it all naturally. Saying that, now that I am considering doing the surgery, I understand the hesitation to tell people. Really, it is what you feel most comfortable with.

[Sullie06 1,013]

I tell people about my surgery as I feel fit. I don't go up to every stranger I meet and tell them all the intimate details of my life but if someone asks, I tell them the truth. If people have something to say, I really don't care because I know how hard this journey was and I know those same people were likely talking about me behind my back even more when I was large. I've always been fodder for gossip, being very overweight, so at least I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and so much healthier.

I do like to tell people struggling with weight and who have asked me about how I lost mine. I don't' tell random stranger who are overweight because I never would have wanted to be told but I've had a few co-workers, associates and a friend reach out to me about my possibly having the surgery themselves. My doctor did not every suggest WLS and she was not super happy when I chose it, she actually asked if I really wanted to do that and that she can put me on physician led diet (again!). The doctor who did refer me was actually my OBGYN and I cannot thank her enough for saving my life!!!