I don't understand (goal weight rant)

[TheGh0st 9]

The doctor told me that I would likely lose 60% of my excess weight. Therefore, I'm being realistic to set it high as that's what statistics show. Also, I hate setting a lofty goal and failing to achieve it.

Its not unrealistic to lose 100% of one's excess weight.

Am I a true Libra or what? I completely agree with both of the above statements. I originally set my "realistic" goals based more on insobordination's views even though my "dream" goal was always the 100% figure like Chickie. Now that I've surpased what I had originally considered a realistic goal I am more comfortable with the idea that my dreams really aren't impossible anymore.

I'm also a number freak/geek... so skip this next part if you wish.

Statistics can be decieving and bent to serve nearly any purpose. Yes the stats don't "lie" when they say 60% is the average. Below is an example of what I mean. These numbers are completely ficticious but show how an average of 60% EWL over all patients can mislead you into thinking the "average" patient will lose this when it also shows that nearly half of patients (47%) fell into the 60-85% EWL range compared to only 30% falling into the corresponding 30-55% EWL.

Also remember to get the average number you have to add up all the people who make it to their goal as well as all those that fail, and yes there are those of us that do fail with the band wether it be through band mis-management or something completely out of their hands. I don't know how you could come up with revised stat that didn't take into account some of those people and focused just on those that don't have underlying uncontrollable medical issues that are holding them back more than the normal patient, or even those with the more extreme non-medical issues that have held them back from using the band the way it could be. But it does make me wonder if you could would it show that if I'm a relatively healthy, and relatively consistent in following the "rules" of the band the statistics might be closer to an in the 85-95% range?

ficticious results.bmp

[Daisalana 33]

I was around 270lbs in high school. I am better than you guys, I am reaching my high school weight! Hah hah. Yeah, that's not my goal. I wish I had a normal weight day in my life..

[Chris_NJ 9]

:mad: I am lighter than my High School weight. I was like 280 in HS.

[Kat817 19]

My battle in High School was the opposite, I was skinny---and hated that as badly as the obesity! I married right out of high school, and at 5'9" I fount to gain up to 116 pounds so my wedding dress would look decent.

I want to lose more, but never want to go there again either!!!

Kat

[Kat817 19]

FOUGHT---not fount!!!! I really do know how to spell it! This is easier than editing these days!!!

Kat

[green 6]

I do believe that some of this business of ideal weight is affected by one's age. Older people don't look good when they lose too much weight. They end up looking scrawny and stringy and tendon-y. This is why I have just had a face lift. The thinner I got the older I looked. And some estrogen is stored in the fat tissues of older women.

Obviously I am very, very happy that I have lost a lot of weight and now have a healthy BMI but I do feel that once we have entered into the realm of normoloid we can relax and perhaps should proceed with caution with respect to our weight loss plans if we are older.

But this is just my opinion and I am 58, eh. :tired

[Jachut 487]

So far nobody here has done what I was ranting about, which is nice to see.

Everyone has given a well considered personal reason why they've chosen their goal.

What makes me angry is when people attack YOUR goal or YOUR weight to justify their own. Indiogirl you just said you would look awful at 130, which is perfectly fine, you didnt call it anorexic or scrawny and ugly, that's what makes me angry, not that people dont have the same goals as me. So its not the fact that people choose higher goals that I was ranting about, its their attitudes about it. And its only very few people that do it too but there's one or two major offenders, neither of whom have joined this thread interestingly enough.

Although, for the sake of argument, why at at 170 would you "look" 140? That seems an odd thing to say to me. That's what I mean - what makes you so special that you can weigh 170 and "look" 140 and everyone else will look 170. Why not just say I want to weigh 170, I think I'll look best there and be done with it? Nobody can argue with that.

[IndioGirl55 32]

So far nobody here has done what I was ranting about, which is nice to see.

Everyone has given a well considered personal reason why they've chosen their goal.

What makes me angry is when people attack YOUR goal or YOUR weight to justify their own. Indiogirl you just said you would look awful at 130, which is perfectly fine, you didnt call it anorexic or scrawny and ugly, that's what makes me angry, not that people dont have the same goals as me. So its not the fact that people choose higher goals that I was ranting about, its their attitudes about it. And its only very few people that do it too but there's one or two major offenders, neither of whom have joined this thread interestingly enough.

Although, for the sake of argument, why at at 170 would you "look" 140? That seems an odd thing to say to me. That's what I mean - what makes you so special that you can weigh 170 and "look" 140 and everyone else will look 170. Why not just say I want to weigh 170, I think I'll look best there and be done with it? Nobody can argue with that.

Jachut - Nothing makes me so special - it's that I carry my weight very well for a short person - even doctors don't think i weigh as much as i do. Awful & Ugly are about the same - awfuls just not as bad as ugly

I get what you are saying though i think - that we think 120 is too skinny cuz we are use to looking at the world through fat eyes and truely 120 is what is considered normal for your height build etc.????

[Jachut 487]

Yes - I'm not the least bit worried that someone wants to weigh 150 instead, but some people REFUSE to see normal weight as normal weight.

If you dont think it will look good on you then you dont have to weigh that. But it doesnt change the fact that its still normal weight and you're choosing to be overweight, you know? So there's no justification for calling people who are normal weight scrawny or ugly, just because its not something you want for yourself.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Yes - I'm not the least bit worried that someone wants to weigh 150 instead, but some people REFUSE to see normal weight as normal weight.

If you dont think it will look good on you then you dont have to weigh that. But it doesnt change the fact that its still normal weight and you're choosing to be overweight, you know? So there's no justification for calling people who are normal weight scrawny or ugly, just because its not something you want for yourself.

I concur !!!!

[Alexandra 55]

Yes - I'm not the least bit worried that someone wants to weigh 150 instead, but some people REFUSE to see normal weight as normal weight.

If you dont think it will look good on you then you dont have to weigh that. But it doesnt change the fact that its still normal weight and you're choosing to be overweight, you know? So there's no justification for calling people who are normal weight scrawny or ugly, just because its not something you want for yourself.

I'm glad to see no one picking a fight here, too! But Jachut, your statement that something is "normal" weight begs for a push-back from someone who has never known a "normal" weight. To my ears the word "normal" is loaded with the judgment that any other weight is ABnormal. Maybe it's not what someone else thinks is "perfect" but hell, I have absolutely no interest in being "normal."

All the medical reports say that for overweight people even losing 10% of one's weight will improve their health. That's great! And isn't that what this is all about? For some people stating some particular goal, for some people (such as myself) doesn't help one little tiny bit. So why do it?

I once posted a thread called something like "I don't set goals, I set traps" after trying and failing to meet some benchmark I'd set for myself. Clearly, it didn't work. But I don't feel like a failure as long as I don't draw lines in the sand for me not to meet. Let's agree to let everyone have their own measurements of success and not comment about the value thereof. K?

(I hope it goes without saying that I 100% agree with your complaint about anyone who says that some particular number is "scrawny" or "ugly." Perhaps it would feel that way for themselves, or perhaps they're just jealous, but one thing is for sure--comments like that say a lot about the person making them, and nothing about anyone else.)

[Jachut 487]

What I'm trying to get away from is the moral connotation of normal and focus on the purely medical. I agree, you dont want to be insinuating that another weight is "abnormal" becuase that's equally as offensive as what I've been complaining about.

It does just come back to not understanding one another's choices I guess. I cant see why in the world you'd want to weigh say 190lb when you could weigh 160 becuase I feel significantly, markedly, undeniably fitter and healther at 160 than I did at 190 where I still felt heavy, in pain and plain fat. The choices and actions I have to undertake to be 160 v 190 are well and truly worth it to me.

But I can understand that they're not to other people, even if I cant really understand exactly how or why.

But because I feel so much better for that extra 30lb gone, I kind of feel that other people would too only they dont know it and cant see it. There's a lot of benefits to getting off 70% of your excess weight, thats undeniable! But there's even more benefits to getting off 100%!

So of course its my job to enlighten the world, roflmao!

Seriously though, I know it just doesnt work that way for everyone and I'm fine with that. Its really only a very small gripe I have with a very small number of people who seem to have a case of sour grapes over it.

[Josette 2]

am I the only one that thinks this thread is rather judgemental? I have a very large bone structure. I'm 6'1" My goal weight is 230. So flipping what that I'm setting my goal at higher then what a BMI chart considers "Normal!" Screw normal! You lose weight to what YOU want to lose weight to and I'll lose to what *I* want to lose to and I'll be happy for you and you be happy for me. Stop worrying about other peoples goal weights. At least we're not staying at 393 pounds!

I think we all deserve a pat on the back for doing this at all! it's not been easy!

If I get to 230 and decide I can keep going then great... but if not then nobody else has a right to be judgemental about it and tell me my weight isn't NORMAL! And if I stop at 230 that doesn't mean I'm too LAZY to get my fat butt to a "normal" weight either.

[Nancy B 0]

am I the only one that thinks this thread is rather judgemental? I have a very large bone structure. I'm 6'1" My goal weight is 230. So flipping what that I'm setting my goal at higher then what a BMI chart considers "Normal!" Screw normal! You lose weight to what YOU want to lose weight to and I'll lose to what *I* want to lose to and I'll be happy for you and you be happy for me. Stop worrying about other peoples goal weights. At least we're not staying at 393 pounds!

I think we all deserve a pat on the back for doing this at all! it's not been easy!

If I get to 230 and decide I can keep going then great... but if not then nobody else has a right to be judgemental about it and tell me my weight isn't NORMAL! And if I stop at 230 that doesn't mean I'm too LAZY to get my fat butt to a "normal" weight either.

I love your line at the bottom about your mother. I lost my mother when she was 49 too, from breast cancer.

I totally understand what you're saying about goal weight. It's as individual as we are. I also get frustrated with people just starting out, who think they know how it's all going to end for them. It's a long way to the finish line, with many detours along the way.

[Josette 2]

Thank you Nancy! I'm so sorry about your mom. The road is a lot harder without them there for us.

Thanks for the response!