I don't understand (goal weight rant)

[phyllisc 0]

"Yet others are hysterically spewing made up information at us that is just so flipping stupid that I cant resist. Phyllis, I am now never going to think of you as anything other than a defensive person who is intimidated by anyone who she thinks considers themselves superior."

Gee, does this mean that you don't want to be my friend?

[Jachut 487]

Babygirl - I get it. My original goal is still right there on my ticker - 79kg is the highest limit for my healthy weight range. That's where I was shooting. Its only when I got there that I realised I could go further and I've cautiously done so. Now I'm just seeing what happens although I could go as low as 63kg. I dont want to live on a diet, I dont want to exercise obsessively, I'm just seeing what happens. I'm not all about being the tiniest you can force yourself to be.

I'm not *againt* high goal weights, I was enjoying an indepth discussion and I get ruffled by idiots who fly off into hysterical suppositions that I'm saying I'm better than them and then start to make up crazy information to get the last word in.

[Wheetsin 714]

Yay Green!

A LOT of MO people are type A - and that A-in't no coincidence (I made a kinda funny).

Things you might expect to see in a Type A:

• Obesity
  
• Messy/cluttered house or workspace
  
• Nicely decorated house, but not well maintained
  
• Nicely landscaped yard, but not well groomed
  
• Nice clothing, but possibly messy or careless personal appearance (e.g. nice suit, wet hair thrown up in a knot).

As like the appearance of their success, but will disregard the areas where they don't feel they can win. In other words, they're very all or nothing. Their successes are often pre-empted with the knowledge that they can succeed, and if they doubt this, they're reticent to try it. And if they know they can't win, they will disregard it.

[Jachut 487]

Um, puts hand up.

That would pretty much describe me to a T, although generally I dont ahve the Type A traits - the stressful, time conscious, insecure sort of personality, I'm way more laid back and lazy than that.

Anything I know I cant win or will never have, I just somehow mentally turn it around into something undesirable. I have often observed myself doing that.

And I also get a strong feeling that that's behind some people's goal weights. They've realised they need to lose for their health but they dont feel they can get to a statistically normal weight so they come up with justifications that are rather flawed and sometimes, one or two can tend to become a bit nasty or jealous towards those who have done it.

Typically, Wheetsin, you have just summed up in a nutshell what its taken me 50 posts and a lot of heated huffing and puffing to say, lol.

My point having only ever been you CAN do it if you want to. Fine if you dont want to, but dont give me silly reasons for why its the most sensible decision in the world not to. Just accept that its because of who and what you are.

Perhaps one of the only reasons why I didnt take that sort of attitude about my weight is that I can be pretty vain. I feel I look better the thinner I get (to a sensible point of course). And the feeling better came as a surprise.

[anonemouse 1]

Yay Green!

A LOT of MO people are type A - and that A-in't no coincidence (I made a kinda funny).

Things you might expect to see in a Type A:

• Obesity
  
• Messy/cluttered house or workspace
  
• Nicely decorated house, but not well maintained
  
• Nicely landscaped yard, but not well groomed
  
• Nice clothing, but possibly messy or careless personal appearance (e.g. nice suit, wet hair thrown up in a knot).

As like the appearance of their success, but will disregard the areas where they don't feel they can win. In other words, they're very all or nothing. Their successes are often pre-empted with the knowledge that they can succeed, and if they doubt this, they're reticent to try it. And if they know they can't win, they will disregard it.

Yep, that would be me, also. I frequently have problems with my classes because of it, in fact. If I feel that I can't pass a class, I don't even try. That's what made me fail my physics class, actually. And in terms of attendance, if I can't be there on time (or early, preferably), I don't go at all. I DESPISE it when people walk in late. I know it annoys me when people come in late, so I don't inflict my lateness on anyone else.

I'm of the belief that if you are going to do something, do it well, even if you can't do it to the extent that you want to. Excuses bug the shit out of me, excuse my French. That's one of the things that kills me about my students. In certain situations, it doesn't matter how much you hate doing something or how much in inconveniences you, you've still got to do it, so you might as well do it with a smile on your face. I've flat-out told my students, "Quit the bitching and get on with it, because the more you bitch about it, the more you tempt me to make it even harder."

I'm like Jachut, I guess. If you want to have a higher goal weight (in the overweight or obese categories), fine and dandy. Just don't pretend that it's somehow healthier than a lower goal weight.

[anonemouse 1]

Since editing is hard, I'll continue my post here.

Another thing about my Type A personality:

Yep, I live in a pigsty, basically. Most of the time, anyway. I rarely clean, but when I do, I CLEAN. That's what drove me insane about my old roommate. She frequently cleaned, but she always half-assed it. Again, I believe that if you are going to do something, do it well or not at all.

[Jachut 487]

Wow, were we separated at birth?

[anonemouse 1]

Wow, were we separated at birth?

Damn, I hope so, if it means that I can have your weight-loss success.

[Chickie 15]

Mariposa Bella why did you delete your posts? I would have loved to have replied to them.

Picking on skinny is as offensive as picking on fat.

Skinny is the word used to describe all the Hollywood starlets starving themselves to nothing.

Knock off the skinny shit.

If you are not comfortable at my weight or size, just say that, not that it's a skinny, disgusting, impossible size. That is what offended me.

[losingjusme 12]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[IndioGirl55 32]

Since editing is hard, I'll continue my post here.

Another thing about my Type A personality:

Yep, I live in a pigsty, basically. Most of the time, anyway. I rarely clean, but when I do, I CLEAN. That's what drove me insane about my old roommate. She frequently cleaned, but she always half-assed it. Again, I believe that if you are going to do something, do it well or not at all.

Another word is PREFECTIONIST - this is what a counsler told me once along time ago - as I am the same way - but since i am older i am more likely to clean than I use to .. I have a brand new house and work hard at keeping it looking nice... I think with age I have lost maybe some of the edge of a perfectionist that i use to be...

[Kat817 19]

This whole thread reminds me of another common discussion always turns arguement that is quite common--Stay at Home Moms vs. Working Moms.

Both sides have strong feelings, and reasons behind their choices...as well as some saying they have no choice in the matter.

Neither side of the arguement seems to be able to understand the others position, and soon it becomes VERY personal. It is hard in any situation to have your personal decisions looked at closely and questioned.

Our goal weights, and our choices in how to best achieve that are the same. We each operate under the feelings that of course our way is best.

In reality in both issues I feel both sides of the arguement benefit from the other.

In the weight loss/goal setting I feel like both sides, or both the Type A and Type B personalities compliment one another and help us all be successful.

The serious minded goal setting Type A's provide the inspiration, and the push for all of us to keep going and striving for our goals---whatever they may be.

The more laid back, Type B's remind the A's that we need to remember to enjoy the journey, and not miss it in our drive to get to our destination.

One without the other does not work so well, it is like a teeter totter----all one way is not fun, neither is a perfectly still, level balance. The fun comes from the high and low...the give and take.

I for one feel like surely we can accomplish this without judging and anger. I mean we all ARE human, and we all form opinions of others, and of how they do things, but we are all adult enough that if it doesn't affect us we learn to blow it off.

Blowing it off is harder when the words said hurt. Some people are offended seriously when referred to as Fat. Others refer to themselves as that everyday, it means nothing negative. Some here like Chickie, are terribly offended with the word Skinny--others wait for the day anxiously. How we react to words differs widely. Some of it goes back to the same old Type A and Type B---whether you fight back or laugh it off. Neither way is right, and neither is likely to convince the other, of their side of things.

I think as adults if someone says that a certain word offends them, then we avoid using it with them...that is nothing but common courtesy. Whether this is in Rants and Raves or anywhere else on the board, being respectful never hurts anyone.

After being reminded of the Type A and Type B--I tried to pigeon hole myself and now have to wonder....is there a Type C???? LOL

I am not terribly goal oriented. I am a slow methodical person, whether it is cooking dinner, one step at a time, not finishing until it is all done, or whether it is losing weight. I am semi neat at home---my house is lived in, but clean. My yard quite neat. BUT I do not like to be the center of attention. I do not like to make public speeches--I prefer to remain in the back of the room! I do not consider myself in any way a slacker---I am constantly busy with something! From baling hay and branding cows---to heading off for a pedicure!

I am without a doubt a true failure as a Leo though---I am not one to be standing in a crowd telling jokes...or have no desire to be on the stage---I would be behind the scenes doing wardrobe or lights!!!

Like I say---I must be a type C!!!! C for Can't decide!!!

Kat

[Mariposa Bella 3]

Mariposa Bella why did you delete your posts? I would have loved to have replied to them.

Picking on skinny is as offensive as picking on fat.

Skinny is the word used to describe all the Hollywood starlets starving themselves to nothing.

Knock off the skinny shit.

If you are not comfortable at my weight or size, just say that, not that it's a skinny, disgusting, impossible size. That is what offended me.

I deleted my post because quite frankly I'm tired of trying to explain myself to YOU! If you go back and read my posts, It has never been about you! I said for me, and only me, that would be too skinny. I have a big ass and I have even bigger boobs who don't disappear with weight loss. When I was weighing 135 I looked very thin, for ME. I had liposculpture of my whole/entire body, arms, back, waist,ass, inner and outer thighs, and a Tummy Tuck. Every spot on my body was reduced of fat and so at 135-137, I looked fabulous and was not fat anymore. My husband loved me FAT, so I guess at 135 I was at a good healthy weight and looked beautiful to HIM. He was also afraid that I was getting too obsessed with my weight loss. I hardly wanted to eat and was fanatically excercising and was totally consumed by wanting more.. I guess that is were his concern came from. It was at that point that I re-evaluated myself and decided that was a good weight FOR ME!

If you think that because I am not as thin as you are (because I"m your same height, of course) that I am morbidly obese, then that is your problem and not mine. I think you have to stop obsessing with what you think others think of you. You are totally consuming yourself with this.. Who cares what the hell others or I think. If you feel great and healthy at that weight, then good for you. I wish you would admit though that there can be something such as too thin/skinny.. Yes, Nicole and the Olsen girl were anorexic and were too damn skinny. Nicole was down to 90 lbs and that I don't care what the hell anybody thinks, is not healthy and she looked like a walking skeleton. You on the other hand, look very toned and healthy in your pictures. But oh hell, I'm done with trying to get you to understand that IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!

[Wheetsin 714]

The perfectionism comes from the drive to "win" and the extremes between winning and losing. You don't win if you do something halfway, you fail. And since you won't do something you will fail at, you're going to win, and through winning, you're also going to try and make sure it's done the best it has ever been done. To an A, perfectionism isn't perfectionism, it's doing it right, doing it in a way that reflects them personally, etc.

If you think back to our MBTI conversation, INTJs will be As. And if anything is true about them, it's that they know what they know, and they also know what they don't know.

Take debate. An A will debate something they know until they're blue in the face, because they know it. They will not pipe up on a topic they know little about, they will just stay out of it - be a passive observer at most. For one, they're not about to be called out for not knowing what they're talking about, and for two, if they don't already know it, it's probably not that significant to them.

[Wheetsin 714]

is there a Type C???? LOL

There are 4 types, A - D.

THE LEADER - THE "A" TYPE PERSONALITY

We need not look very far to find an "A" personality in our midst. They are the ones that are always "looking for a better way" or building a "better mouse trap". They have an entrepreneurial streak and don't mind taking risk in order to receive the rewards that can go along with it.

The "A" personality is usually very independent, direct and to the point. They will probably tell you to "get to the bottom line" or give them the "executive summary" to read. They don't like routine and often delegate routine chores to someone else.

The "A" Personality enjoys change, and one of their biggest fears is falling into a routine. They are very focused on what they are doing and are almost always relatively insensitive to others that might be around them. If they tell somebody something, or explain it, they'll say it ONCE and expect that everybody listening understood because they're ready to move on.

"A" type personalities are often found as business owners, managers, sales people (especially straight commission), or any position requiring a very "direct" person that typically "takes charge" and forges ahead. They are very decisive and persistent in getting what they want and need.

THE SOCIALIZER - "B" TYPE PERSONALITY

The "B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type. They love the limelight and the "hype" and often do very well in sales, advertising, marketing, public speaking, party planning, travel and other positions where they can have a "good time" while working.

The "B" personality is as Supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". Many radio and TV personalities, actors and high-profile speakers are often "B" personalities. It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.

A good example of a "B" personality was the part Bette Midler played in the movie "Beaches" where her character was a big success in movies and on the stage. An outstanding line from the movie was, when having her best friend over who she hasn't seen in years, she takes her on a whirlwind tour of her elaborate apartment then says: "... enough about ME, let's talk about YOU. So, what do you think if ME?"

Certainly, most "B" personalities are not that "strong", but it does provide a good mental picture of some of the characteristics to look for in the "B" type.

This type often does well in sales as they tend to be very talkative and outgoing with people and are normally quite persuasive.

"DETAILS, DETAILS... "

THE "C" TYPE PERSONALITY

If you want to picture a typical "C" type personality, think of your accountant, an engineer or a computer programmer or analyst. The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. They are usually very neat, dress fashionably and are very calculated and precise in just about everything they do.

The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts... information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.

They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value. They often make good customer service people and sales people, especially if the product to support or sell is something "technical" or involves numbers. They are loyal and patient and can leave customers with a good feeling that they're somebody that really cares. However, managers may need to make sure they don't spend TOO much time with details if the objective or expected outcome doesn't warrant the investment of their time and expertise.

ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU NEED THEM

THE "D" TYPE PERSONALITY

The typical "D" personality doesn't like change, preferring instead, to have a set of guidelines from which to follow and they won't mind doing the same thing over and over. They are usually more motivated by security and benefits and are likely to get the "gold watch" if the company can provide the security they seek.

"D" types are very supportive of others and are often the type that others turn to when they have a problem. Their compassion level is usually quite high and often seem very happy and content with themselves and life in general. They are usually punctual, and consistent. They add "balance" and support in the workplace and may be the champion of the "under dog".

Most popular personality matrices are built on an archetypal 4 structure. By and large (IMO) they're just reincarnations of each other, or focus on slightly different things. E.g. MBTI is built on expressed preferences, but something like the GTI is built on operational preferences. PeopleStyles is built on social preferences. Etc. Any real differences between them? Not IMO. It's kind of like having green, celadon, and sage... you're still talking about green, but now 3 different people can claim to own different colors.