I don't understand (goal weight rant)

[Jachut 487]

Yeah, we havent really solved much in this thread have we?

I still dont understand setting a high goal weight but I've been reminded that its not my job to understand it. You're right of course Josette.

I *thought* I was complaining only about people who insist that a higher goal is BETTER and that people that get down to a lower weight are either obsessive, vain or are bragging about it. But yeah, I can see the attitude that's coming through is judgemental.

I can agree to just not really get it I guess. I wouldnt like someone telling me what I *should* weigh and in fact its really been that 50 - 60% excess weight lost statistic that made me think "oh, really, well I'll prove THAT wrong!".

[Daisalana 33]

I have officially lost the 'statistic' weight loss, and before I started I was determined to beat that statistic. I would be flippin off my rocker if I could get to 180. And hopefully a year from now, I'll be 180 and pushing to get to maybe 160. No idea! It's all new and exciting, to see what being a normal weight is like.

[Chickie 15]

I *thought* I was complaining only about people who insist that a higher goal is BETTER and that people that get down to a lower weight are either obsessive, vain or are bragging about it. But yeah, I can see the attitude that's coming through is judgemental.

I got what you were talking about. But I guess I would, having been on the receiving end of "that weight would look too thin on me / I would look unhealthy at that weight / That weight is anorexic at 5'3"" and so on, I have felt the judgement that you are talking about.

My point is, I don't really care where other people set their goals. Any weight loss is going to improve the health of a banded person, and that is the ultimate goal, right?. But please, for the love of the band, don't crap on about how only sick / anorexic / unhealthy my size is. I am not passing judgement on you, so kindly do me the same favour.

(That was not directed at anyone here in this thread. It is directed at those who have made comments here, both in PM and on the boards, and off the boards as anonymous comment to my blog about me being anorexic, unhealthy, ugly, nasty and on, and on and on I could go.)

[Gone4Now 4]

I picked the high end of my weight chart, which is 145 out of thin air (no pun intended.) I'm sure 145 is going to still be slighly overweight (my breasts are about 10 pounds - don't ask how I know that) and I have no idea how much my bones weigh, or how much extra skin I'll have.

But, in the end, after losing 150 pounds I'm sure I'll re-evaluate it.

I'm not sure it was a fear of failure...I just got overwhelmed with the bottom line number.

I have no idea what weight looks good on me. I've been fat since I was 10. I as a size 10 at 16, for about a week, then gained it back. But, I still thought I was HUGE. So....what I think is a healthy weight has been completely skewed and distorted since over 20 years ago. How do I know until I get there? All I know is it's 1/2 my current weight, and that's a steep goal to achieve so I'll take it in steps...evaluating as I go.

[Jachut 487]

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

[stacy73 2]

Ghost-not flamed in any way.lol...I didn't know that either-about the 1 " being added-wow-so My goal of 150 would be ok according to their chart-

The point I was trying to make and it seems like I didn't make it clear enough is that-FOR MOST PEOPLE-who set too high of a weight goal are cheating themselves-set a realistic healthy goal-please.. why would we go through lap band surgery only to lose 50 pounds when we are over 100 pounds overweight-(most of us) I think that the point is we are not healthy and will not be if we only lose 50- we will be healthier than before but not healthy yet...now some people because of height, body type, etc may not fall into the category set by Metlife-which strangely the chart was initally created for life insurance purposes..wth??? not sure why it is still used but anyway-it is a general guideline one can follow-but again I am not investing myself in this journey to only lose 50 lbs- now I will never weigh 114 lbs-that is just not possible for me-I am big boned-whatever that means- have a large bone structure-always have-but 150 yes that is do-able and is in the acceptable weight range for healthy weight FOR ME- I have consulted many different charts in my weight loss journey of over 15 years and they seem to be relatively similar-now if I got to 160 and that works for me so be it-but why not set a goal of 150 and see what happens?? I can see the situation where you cannot make this goal because of loose skin, especially for those of us who have been heavy for many years, so an adjustment probably would have to be made-Like I said in my previous post there is an exception to the rule-and for those of you setting higher goals my post is in no way trying to knock you for setting a higher goal- I am just saying if people are setting a high goal just so they can reach their goal quicker and settle for a lower weight loss than it seems like they are doing a disservice to themselves for doing so-for those whose goals are higher for a good reason this rant does not apply to those people-only the ones who are cheating themselves in the end.Just my opinion.

[babygrl1234 6]

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

People seriously do this? I can't imagine why people would find it necessary to have to lash out at someone because they have done well. Sure I may have the occasional spout of jealousy (I mean come on who doesn't) but never in my life would I put someone else down who has worked hard for what they have. That must be a pretty pathetic life to lead.

[losingjusme 12]

(That was not directed at anyone here in this thread. It is directed at those who have made comments here, both in PM and on the boards, and off the boards as anonymous comment to my blog about me being anorexic, unhealthy, ugly, nasty and on, and on and on I could go.)

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

People seriously do this? I can't imagine why people would find it necessary to have to lash out at someone because they have done well. Sure I may have the occasional spout of jealousy (I mean come on who doesn't) but never in my life would I put someone else down who has worked hard for what they have. That must be a pretty pathetic life to lead.

i agree with babygrl,

absolutely pathetic. when jealousy consumes people they do bizarre things, but that is just uncalled for.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

BRAG ALL YOU WANT.. YOU DESERVE IT !!!! YOU DID THE WORK!!!

Now that really pisses me off - Why would anyone bag on you for loosing 100% of your weight that a bunch of sh*t - PROPS TO YOU !!!

It's not obsessive it is what all our goals should be imho - with that being said - at 140 I am worried about how i will look - and for me having the extra 30 - 40 pounds will make me happy ans still a whole lot healthier than being 250. I picked my # out of the air - well sort of - I was very happy at 170 when i was in my 30's - so that's how i got that number.

Again what's good for you might not be for others - but in no way should they put you down - I know that when I was 17 - got down to 115 and my stepmom said i was too skinny. I was a size 5/6. I was thin but still had fat mentallity ...

I will tell you all right now - when I get to 170 I will brag - brag - brag and i will deserve to brag cuz that will be a great accomplishment - h*ll losing 40 lbs in the last 3 months has been and I am HAPPY and I will not let anyone take that from me.

Jachut - tell all these people to go jump in a lake....

Please never shut up - you have alot of good advice - you eat normal you exercise and you are at goal... I am happy for you...

[Chickie 15]

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

I would imagine that they are the same people who leave comments on my blog like "It's a shame that the band works for people like you" and who just come out and say that I am ugly, and that I looked better fat.

And if only the obsessive lose 100%... What does that make me, at 115% plus lost?

[stacy73 2]

A success!!!

[TheGh0st 9]

Yes, I've received PM's too about it. About how only obsessive people lose 100% of their weight and how I should just shut up and stop bragging.

People seriously do this? I can't imagine why people would find it necessary to have to lash out at someone because they have done well. Sure I may have the occasional spout of jealousy (I mean come on who doesn't) but never in my life would I put someone else down who has worked hard for what they have. That must be a pretty pathetic life to lead.

Believe it or not I too feel that jealousy from time to time but it is only in love, I swear. Lapbandtalk wouldn't be the same without the success stories like yours & Chickies out there. And I'm appalled that anyone has flamed you with PM's or openly about your making 100% of the way. After all I can't believe there isn't one of us out there that wouldn't love to be right there with you.

You, Chickie, JulieNYC, Puddin just to name a few are my inspirations. So are some of those a year behind and 100 pounds heavier than me. On those days where I just can't seem to get my head into the game I'll search out and read the excitement and energy in some of the "newbies" posts and then look for a few of you "old-timers" if only to see your inspirational tickers and then I feel properly butt-kicked and dive back into this journey.

[anonemouse 1]

I don't get how anyone can think that you are ugly, Chickie. I think you are a very attractive woman. Personally, I think it's a bit of sour grapes on the behalf of the people that've said that, if you know what I mean.

[Jachut 487]

No I dont get it.

And I cant believe she's as young as she is either, she's one smart chickie babe. Witty and sharp and always entertaining. And not ugly in the slightest. Amazingly stylish actually.

But those of us that have gotten to goal, the compliments are lovely, but most of you understand we're not here becuase we think we're all that and that everyone needs the benefit of our experience. We're here becasue we get support here as well - its an important part of maintenance too!

[losingjusme 12]

I don't get how anyone can think that you are ugly, Chickie. I think you are a very attractive woman. Personally, I think it's a bit of sour grapes on the behalf of the people that've said that, if you know what I mean.

i totally agree.