The Gauntlet

[KarenLR75 515]

I have looked into bariatic surgery off and on (at a high level for about 6 years while always wishing my company would add bariatic coverage. Well, shockingly, they finally did. I have read a mix of things such as having demonstrated the ability to lose weight prior to surgery (will any of my previous weight loss attempts which were moderately successful with Weight Watchers or weight loss observed by my primary care dr. when I had Qysimia (sp?) prescribed for 3 months...was able to stop that vicious hunger which have a majorly large stomach entails. I lost 60 lbs.

I just kind of find this as a sticking point. My own husband when I told him I was seriously considering the gastric sleeve said 'If I'd just listen to him and did what he did a few years ago, I'd lose weight'. I don't think it's a shock to anyone on here but NEWS FLASH - I KNOW A TON ABOUT "LOSING WEIGHT". I have lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime. I am a BIG believer in low carb, low glycemic impacting foods. I can go without sweets.

What my problem is...is that I have self medicated with food, grieved with food, filled my loneliness with food until I'm almost at my highest weight again of 380 lbs at 5' 6". I feel old, worn out and beaten down. I'm tired of worrying if I'll fit in a chair, I don't want to have to buy 2 seats on a plane. More than that, I want to have some quality to my life...the ability to walk through a store, to not feel this pervasive shame when I see the bulges of fat sticking out all over my body. I'm in late 40's. I've wasted 15+ straight years being severely morbidly obese with a BMI of over 50.

I have a psychiatrist I see for other issues related to a child with additional needs and from losing my Dad, my best friend of 20 years and my Mom one right after the other. I know the doctors need some guarantee that you are 'ready' for this but the thought of having to wait months upon months upon months...just chills my blood. My back just started hurting so badly I cannot sleep..I wrenched a knee going down the stairs. I don't want to 'diet' anymore. I want a life.....do all the doctors make you STILL go through pre-loss drills? Or does the continual dieting I've attempted count for anything.

Sorry, this is my first Christmas w/o my Mom and I'm just so weary of it all. I can't talk to my husband about it....he made it quite clear years ago that he is repulsed by me (well, maybe that's a harsh way to put it but the results are the same)...notice I didn't run out to have surgery for him. This is about ME and about ME ONLY.

[KarenLR75 515]

Addition: I hear True Results went out of business.....can anyone make recommendations of places and doctors in the North Forth Worth/Keller/Southlake/HEB area.

Also, has anyone here had a gastric bypass or sleeve done with an IVC filter inside of you (filter for someone who has shown a predispostion towards blood clots...the place it in your inferior vena cava hence the 'IVC'. I was hoping that doesn't rule me out as although there is a risk of clotting with all surgeries, I actually have a device in me that ostensibly stops the clots from reaching my heart/lungs.

[MrsGamgee 756]

I can't speak to some of your specific questions, because different doctors/clinics/insurance providers (from what I've read) have different requirements. My first, and most important recommendation is to get yourself to an information session or even a bariatric surgery support group in your area. They will be able to better fill you in on what the doctors in your area require.

My surgeon has asked me to lose 10% of my total body weight, not to prove that I'm committed to losing, but to help reduce the size of my liver. Many people I've seen on here don't have that requirement.

And as to what your husband said... the weightloss yo-yo cycle is just that, a cycle. What worked for your husband isn't necessarily what will work for you. Only a tiny percentage of high BMI people who lose weight in a 'traditional' way will keep it off long term, and the losing and regaining repeatedly is so hard on the body (of course, you know that already). WLS isn't a magic pill, but it is an effective tool.

I know that I probably haven't been all that helpful, but know that you aren't the only one facing these questions/fears. Information is power.

[catwoman7 11,212]

just so you know - it's not usually the surgeons who make you go through the pre-op diets (other than maybe for the week or two prior to surgery to shrink your liver) - it's the insurance companies. Mine required a six-month supervised diet sometime within the last two years (that is, the last two years before surgery). Some require a shorter period of time, some don't require a diet at all. Some will accept attempts through places like Weight Watchers as long as it's documented - some insist on having it done with a physician or a registered dietitian. Ask your insurance company as they're all different.

Edited December 2, 2017 by catwoman7

[Introversion 1,876]

7 hours ago, KarenLR75 said:

Addition: I hear True Results went out of business.....can anyone make recommendations of places and doctors in the North Forth Worth/Keller/Southlake/HEB area.

I used Ultimate Bariatrics in Fort Worth. Their bariatric surgeons perform operations at Baylor Medical Center at Trophy Club.

Regarding emotional overeating...bariatric surgery won't stop it. You'll lose a lot of weight at the start, then regain it all if the emotional overeating isn't totally nipped in the bud.

You can eat an entire pizza with bariatric surgery...one slice every 45 minutes. You can eat 5 cheeseburgers with bariatric surgery...one burger every hour.

I know you don't want to wait, but it is imperative to eliminate the emotional component of your eating so as to avoid wasting a perfectly good weight loss tool.

Good luck to you. You can do this.

[ChaosUnlimited 559]

Find an info session and go, you will have so many questions answered. I procrastinated on actually making the first move to get surgery for years as well, I thought about it but didn't take that first step. My only regret at this point is that I didn't do it sooner. Many things depend on your insurance plan and your surgeons requirements, so it's hard to say that any of our experiences here will be what you will experience. However, I have to say that I had the 6 month supervised diet program and at first i was mad about it. My thought was "I've waited so long to take the first step, I finally did it, and I want it done now, I don't want to wait even more time". In retrospect, I am glad that I had the extra time to process the changes I needed to make, and to learn the ways of the new lifestyle I would lead. It would have been a difficult transition if I had all these changes happen suddenly.

Find a surgeons office that offers a full program with education, support group, and nutritionists. Invite your husband to go as well to educate himself on the differences for some people in losing and maintaining weight loss. My husband didn't really understand why I chose to do surgery and going through the educational pieces with me helped I think. Even though he didn't really want me to do it, he was very supportive when I needed him to be.

[James Marusek 5,244]

Generally the 6 month supervised diet requirement comes from the health insurance companies. If you were on a medically supervised exercise and weight loss regiment for six months prior to surgery through you primary care physician and if that physician would be willing to write a letter documenting you attempt, that might count. But generally that meant you paid visits to your doctors office once per month for each of those six months in order to qualify.

In terms of recommending a hospital, I had surgery at a Center of Excellence for Bariatric Surgery. These Centers of Excellence are available in many states. The Centers of Excellence provide a complete support for the surgery. There are many components that require a range of specialist beyond just a surgeon who specializes in Bariatric Surgery. They include nutritionist, psychologists, a hospital that specializes in bariatric surgery, staff that work insurance issues, pre-op testing, weight loss and exercise programs, bariatric surgery support group meetings, five years of post-op follow-ups. It is like a "full meal deal", no pun intended.

Also back to insurance issues. For me the pre-op stage took around 9 months. Since most health insurance policies require a deductible. There is a good chance that the pre-op stage may stretch over two calendar years and therefore two deductible periods.

[KarenLR75 515]

Thanks for the replies. I should have added/qualified that during the times I was caregiving (and working 60+ hr weeks) for my father, followed by my best friend of 20 yrs (brain cancer) and then 2 months after she passed, it become evident my Mom had dementia so I went straight into caregiving for her and into one of the most traumatic ways to lose someone (outside of losing a child)...it is so hard to explain if you've never watched it first hand and been providing the majority of all personal care while you watch your loved one regress into an infant-mode.....during all this time, I self medicated with food.

My beloved Mom was set free from Dementia this past year. In recent months, I no longer care honestly to eat. Nothing really sounds good. I will actually skip lunch and Breakfast as I get so busy with work (yes, I know this is not good and must change) so the food challenges I am currently still battling is eating too late at night and then that '1 meal' not holding the hunger at bay 3 hrs later so I'm up at 2:00 a.m grabbing a banana, apples, sugar free Jello. I try not to have what I call trigger foods on hand and I WILL eat them late at night.

I'm know I still have some eating behaviors that must be changed but that constant, relentless massive over-eating drive that mastered me for over 9+ years has...I don't know...somehow faded. I still grieve greatly for my Mom....she was the sweetest, best Moms a person could ever have wished for...but after watching the horrible nightmare that is Dementia/Alzheimers, I am relieved she no longer is in the grips of it.

I will try to find one of the groups near me to go attend some meetings. I forget who said this but yes, I actually did have the thought and maybe more than just the 2 of us did of "I'm ready now...WHY more hoop jumps". Deep inside I DO get it...I'm just still a bit overwhelmed

[EagerPenguin 159]

During my prep for surgery insurance approval, I had to meet with a psychologist a couple of times and go through extensive psychological testing. One thing that my program recommends to everyone is to find a good therapist pre-op and stick with him or her at least a few months post-op. I don't mean to make presumptions, but it sounds like you may benefit from that if you don't already have a therapist. I've found it very helpful.

I hope the hoops you have to jump through (and there will be hoops) are tolerable. It's all to make sure you're successful.

Wishing you the best.

[Berry78 4,261]

Insurance companies have their requirements, and there is no getting out of working through their process.

So, you waited for your insurance to cover the surgery (rather than, say.. going to Mexico for self-pay), so jumping through some hoops for 6 months or so really isn't a huge deal in the big-picture.

I'm sorry about your losses Having cared for my hubby's grandfather (alzheimer's), and currently father (stroke), I know just how draining the care-giving roll can be. (And the relief when the patient is finally set free).

It makes sense that you are now ready to turn the focus onto caring for YOU. Which is oh-so-needed right now. Use these months to learn as much about the surgery as you can. Don't just rely on the program to give you all the information you need. (It's a good starting place though). There is much more to living for the rest of your life as a bariatric patient than just consuming the special diet for two months after the surgery.

The single most important change you need to make in your relationship with food is to come to see it simply as fuel/building blocks for your body. Pretty much all patients view food with a love/hate/crave/fear kind of relationship. All of that needs to go away and be replaced with "I eat because my body requires it". It's fine to ENJOY your food. But the hang-ups must be dropped.

Nutritional deficiencies are rampant in the obese and bariatric populations. We need to FEED our bodies. Our excess fat will provide energy, but it doesn't help us with our protein/vitamin/mineral/fiber requirements. So, we need to learn to meet all THOSE requirements on a day to day basis, while consuming fewer calories.

Surgery isn't magic. It's the ability to eat a small number of calories for months on end that results in the dramatic weight losses. By carefully controlling our diets, we can consume what we need in 700-1100 calories a day.

I'm 8 months postop, and about 30 pounds from goal. I have not yet entered maintenance, but can tell that I will ALWAYS have to be "on a diet". I can already eat enough calories to stop losses in its tracks, (and a few extra bites every day would show up as regain) so it's up to me to limit how much I eat every day. I hope to live for another 40-50 years.. so I have to have long-term health as my goal, which means eating enough nutrient-dense food to rebuild/repair myself.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

The only thing I would add is I thought the six month program was going to take forever - but it went fast - all the appointments, and tests made it go quickly and I needed to examine my relationship with food and learn to not turn to it during stressful times. There are some good books by Geneen Roth on eating and worth going to the library to check out.

Good luck. And this surgery helps a lot but it also takes mental challenges and physical and emotional ones as well.

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

I started the process expecting that it would take six months or more; it took about three. But the basic thing is--no matter how long it takes, if you don't start it, a year from now, you'll still most likely be wishing you had done so.

It doesn't really matter how much time you have to wait for the surgery--starting the process generally means losing weight from the beginning. I lost 25 pounds before the operation, and quite honestly, it wasn't any harder then than it has been since the surgery. I still have a very long way to go--but at least those 58 pounds are gone, gone, gone.

Just remember that the surgery is a tool--and that's all. You have to change your habits to make this work in the long term.

Best of luck. It isn't easy, but it will reward you in the long run, and you deserve it.