On the Fence about Weight Loss Surgery

[MissLindseyR 110]

5 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

In terms of body positivity. How is it positive what we have done to our body to get so over weight ? I say we because I put all kinds of **** in my mouth. To me body positivity is about looking after our body and taking the steps to make it the best it can be. Body positivity isn't just about "yes this is my body and I love it " I love my body. So for me. This surgery showed my body love and I'm working from the inside out. You already have bad knees and out of breath at 32. Your so young. To me that isn't showing your body love. Your poor knees doesn't feel loved carrying all that weight. Neither did my back. 20 years from now you may struggle more. But this is just my opinion. You know what's best for you but consider the whole picture.

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This is true. I'm sure my knees will just get worse and that make life harder. I agree with you on body positivity as loving your body but also making it healthy. I have my next apt this Friday so I'm going to keep going. I believe this is what is best for me and my family. Thank you for your advice!

[wjgo 272]

I don't know if weight can push the need for a knee replacement surgery. I witnessed my mother go through two replacements. It is the last thing you want.

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[MissLindseyR 110]

40 minutes ago, wjgo said:

I don't know if weight can push the need for a knee replacement surgery. I witnessed my mother go through two replacements. It is the last thing you want.

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I'm not sure either. I have seen a doctor for my knees, they are formed wrong and have been since birth, however, the weight I carry doesn't help it. My knee caps are located more toward the outside of my knee versus the top, it causes the bone on bone to grind and such. I did physical therapy but it didn't do much. I was hoping that if I dropped some of the extra weight, it would take the pressure off of them.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Oh man, I so know the bone on bone pain! It makes me so sad you have to endure that too!!! ((hugs)) I truly believe that weight loss will help that pain...but it probably won't eliminate it.

For me and my hips, the doc won't do hip replacements unless I'm under 170lbs. Not that I want them, but if it be my future... *big gulp*

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

This is true. I'm sure my knees will just get worse and that make life harder. I agree with you on body positivity as loving your body but also making it healthy. I have my next apt this Friday so I'm going to keep going. I believe this is what is best for me and my family. Thank you for your advice!

I'm so glad you understood my comment was coming from a good place I read it back and it was quite blunt. But I meant nothing bad by it. And I just read you have a 19 month old !! Aww that's so amazing . What ever you decide to do. Change your eating now throw away and give away the junk food and start living a healthier lifestyle for your self I would never push or say someone should or shouldn't do anything I just know from my prespective my kids are telling me wow mum you look amazing mum your tummy is getting so small and I'm able to do more stuff with them it's amazing for me.

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[MissLindseyR 110]

17 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

I'm so glad you understood my comment was coming from a good place I read it back and it was quite blunt. But I meant nothing bad by it. And I just read you have a 19 month old !! Aww that's so amazing . What ever you decide to do. Change your eating now throw away and give away the junk food and start living a healthier lifestyle for your self I would never push or say someone should or shouldn't do anything I just know from my prespective my kids are telling me wow mum you look amazing mum your tummy is getting so small and I'm able to do more stuff with them it's amazing for me.

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No no, I understood what you meant. I didn't take it as being bad or anything, I appreciate the bluntness. I have been trying to do better with my food, but I am getting stuck. I'll find a good Breakfast but I'll get bored with it after a week or two. I need to find some more recipes. I also lack being active and need to get back into doing that. I'm afraid if I don't figure these two things out, I'll fail at wls before I even have it!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

@MissLindseyR I so get you on the boredom part.

This might help...not that it's 100% foolproof, cuz I still screw it up.

Here's how I approach meal planning and negotiate eating "on plan."

First off, I know that for me, dinner is THE most important meal of the day. So I plan Dinner first in MFP.

In return for eating a yummy dinner, I've negotiated that it's ok to have 2 main meals pretty repetitious (Breakfast and Lunch). So those two meals get repeated often for weeks at a time. Then, when I'm bored with 'em, I will switch them out for a new group of B & L.

Second, I know I'm not very hungry in the mornings or for lunch, but come 3pm, I'm looking to "feed." LOL! So the next meal I will plan is to make sure I have a 3-4pm snack in the meal plan for the day. I add that to MFP.

Third, I also know I don't want to go to bed hungry. So I add a few mouthfuls of something at bedtime. I add that to MFP.

Fourth, since lunch is the next big deal--I plan that and add it to MFP.

Fifth, I plan out breakfast and add it to MFP.

If I have anything left, I do my morning snack. Then I "massage" the food quantities to make the numbers work out so that I hit my targets for the day. My RD wants me eating 3 meals and 3 Snacks to practice getting ready for post-surg life. She and the doc want me having 60-100g of carbs per day and want me to have about 74g Protein per day. They have me eating an absurd no. of cals per day for me...1500cals which is basically maintenance calories. I've no idea why they have me eating that many calories. I might not hit them exactly, but it's close enough to keep em happy.

I try to work 1-2 days ahead. By "Remembering" meals in MFP and by copy to date actions, it takes about 5-10 minutes to figure out what I'm eating.

I hope this example helps you begin thinking about your own food preferences and priorities. For me, I've got it easy. It's just me and Mr. F. here and he's dieting with me so we don't have any contraband crap in the house. If we did, it would call my name at 3am! Swearsies. So I can't imagine how hard it is for you with a hubs and kids in the house who aren't dieting.

I think if it were me as Mommy General, it would be a case of, "If Mommy Can't Be Happy With Yummy Crap Food, Ain't Nobody Gonna Be Happy And Get To Eat It." I'd put everyone on a healthy living diet whether they were 2yrs old or 52! Cuz you know, misery loves company and I'd want to share the wealth. Hahaha!

((hugs)) and you're doing great!

Edited November 30, 2017 by FluffyChix

[tankheadmommy 94]

[mention=329408]MissLindseyR[/mention] I so get you on the boredom part.
This might help...not that it's 100% foolproof, cuz I still screw it up. [emoji3]
Here's how I approach meal planning and negotiate eating "on plan."
First off, I know that for me, dinner is THE most important meal of the day. So I plan Dinner first in MFP.
In return for eating a yummy dinner, I've negotiated that it's ok to have 2 main meals pretty repetitious (Breakfast and Lunch). So those two meals get repeated often for weeks at a time. Then, when I'm bored with 'em, I will switch them out for a new group of B & L.
Second, I know I'm not very hungry in the mornings or for lunch, but come 3pm, I'm looking to "feed." LOL! So the next meal I will plan is to make sure I have a 3-4pm snack in the meal plan for the day. I add that to MFP.
Third, I also know I don't want to go to bed hungry. So I add a few mouthfuls of something at bedtime. I add that to MFP.
Fourth, since lunch is the next big deal--I plan that and add it to MFP.
Fifth, I plan out breakfast and add it to MFP.
If I have anything left, I do my morning snack. Then I "massage" the food quantities to make the numbers work out so that I hit my targets for the day. My RD wants me eating 3 meals and 3 Snacks to practice getting ready for post-surg life. She and the doc want me having 60-100g of carbs per day and want me to have about 74g Protein per day. They have me eating an absurd no. of cals per day for me...1500cals which is basically maintenance calories. I've no idea why they have me eating that many calories. I might not hit them exactly, but it's close enough to keep em happy.
I try to work 1-2 days ahead. By "Remembering" meals in MFP and by copy to date actions, it takes about 5-10 minutes to figure out what I'm eating.
I hope this example helps you begin thinking about your own food preferences and priorities. For me, I've got it easy. It's just me and Mr. F. here and he's dieting with me so we don't have any contraband crap in the house. If we did, it would call my name at 3am! Swearsies. So I can't imagine how hard it is for you with a hubs and kids in the house who aren't dieting.
I think if it were me as Mommy General, it would be a case of, "If Mommy Can't Be Happy With Yummy Crap Food, Ain't Nobody Gonna Be Happy And Get To Eat It." I'd put everyone on a healthy living diet whether they were 2yrs old or 52! [emoji3] Cuz you know, misery loves company and I'd want to share the wealth. Hahaha!

((hugs)) and you're doing great!

I love I!!!!!

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[CowgirlJane 14,259]

On 11/28/2017 at 1:13 PM, MissLindseyR said:

Hello everyone,

I'm having such a hard time deciding what I want to do. I am 318lbs and 5'5, but I don't hate my body. I have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot, but I don't hate my fat. So on one site I want to have surgery to feel better and help my fatty liver, but on the other side, I've been on diets my whole life, I question if this is right for me. Has anyone regretted their surgery? Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat? Where does body positivity fit into this? I need to hear what others think on this.

Thank you

I had my sleeve surgery at 308 - I too am 5'5". My quality of life, health and fitness is sooo much better being in the normal size/weight range. The freedom to run up stairs, the not worrying about flimsy chairs, the feeling like one of the girls when I go out...etc. I don't think you need to hate yourself to have WLS . If I were you, at 32, I would be thinking what does all that weight do to me in 10 years, 20 years - and what do I want my middle age/older years to be like? I am enjoying being active and way healthier.

[MissLindseyR 110]

4 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

@MissLindseyR I so get you on the boredom part.

This might help...not that it's 100% foolproof, cuz I still screw it up.

Here's how I approach meal planning and negotiate eating "on plan."

First off, I know that for me, dinner is THE most important meal of the day. So I plan dinner first in MFP.

In return for eating a yummy dinner, I've negotiated that it's ok to have 2 main meals pretty repetitious (Breakfast and Lunch). So those two meals get repeated often for weeks at a time. Then, when I'm bored with 'em, I will switch them out for a new group of B & L.

Second, I know I'm not very hungry in the mornings or for lunch, but come 3pm, I'm looking to "feed." LOL! So the next meal I will plan is to make sure I have a 3-4pm snack in the meal plan for the day. I add that to MFP.

Third, I also know I don't want to go to bed hungry. So I add a few mouthfuls of something at bedtime. I add that to MFP.

Fourth, since lunch is the next big deal--I plan that and add it to MFP.

Fifth, I plan out Breakfast and add it to MFP.

If I have anything left, I do my morning snack. Then I "massage" the food quantities to make the numbers work out so that I hit my targets for the day. My RD wants me eating 3 meals and 3 Snacks to practice getting ready for post-surg life. She and the doc want me having 60-100g of carbs per day and want me to have about 74g Protein per day. They have me eating an absurd no. of cals per day for me...1500cals which is basically maintenance calories. I've no idea why they have me eating that many calories. I might not hit them exactly, but it's close enough to keep em happy.

I try to work 1-2 days ahead. By "Remembering" meals in MFP and by copy to date actions, it takes about 5-10 minutes to figure out what I'm eating.

I hope this example helps you begin thinking about your own food preferences and priorities. For me, I've got it easy. It's just me and Mr. F. here and he's dieting with me so we don't have any contraband crap in the house. If we did, it would call my name at 3am! Swearsies. So I can't imagine how hard it is for you with a hubs and kids in the house who aren't dieting.

I think if it were me as Mommy General, it would be a case of, "If Mommy Can't Be Happy With Yummy Crap Food, Ain't Nobody Gonna Be Happy And Get To Eat It." I'd put everyone on a healthy living diet whether they were 2yrs old or 52! Cuz you know, misery loves company and I'd want to share the wealth. Hahaha!

((hugs)) and you're doing great!

This is a great idea!!

Thank you!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Sorry for the long ass post!

[XYZXYZXYZ1955 675]

The process is generally long enough and thorough enough that you will have plenty of time to think about this choice and decide if it's really right for you. Many insurance programs insist on a six-month pre-op diet; mine did not, but the whole process took about three months and included group meetings, meetings with a nutritionist, a psych consult, and a battery of tests.

I guess I was lucky that I was overweight for many years before my knees went, but they have gone in a major way. I have lost nearly 60 pounds and it makes no difference--but I'm aware that I'm still very overweight. The ortho guy told me he wouldn't replace my knees at the weight I was, and I can understand that--that's what drove me to the surgery, though. I'm also diabetic (currently on less medication, but not past needing it at all).

One thing that always occurs to me: How many obese elderly people do you see? Yeah, there's a reason for that.

I'd love to go clothes shopping and buy regular sizes, but anyone who thinks I got the surgery for that kind of reason is nuts.

[raising3monkeys 55]

Hi there -

I started out at exactly the same weight as you 318 (I'm closer to 5'9", though)That was just under a month ago, when I started my diet one week prior to surgery, which I had just three weeks ago today. I had a Lap-Band. I.feel.great. It was kind of like a non-surgery to me. My shoulders ached a bit for several days due to the air migrating up there from them my abdominal laproscopic surgery (look that up if you're unfamiliar - it's typical with any obdominal surgery nowadays - even getting your gall bladder out). THAT was the worst of my pain - and that felt more like I had flu-like pain in those muscles. Plus I felt bloated for a good week after surgery. Also not pain - just discomfort. By one week prior, I felt like myself again. I was only on paid meds for 2 days - the day of surgery and the following day.

So far I've lost 19 lbs. in less than a month. I'll be honest - a lot of that is just from the lifestyle change of eating differently. Today I get my first "fill" on the lap band, and I think that'll help immensely with eating smaller meals - which is where the bulk of the weight loss comes in. I'm already glad that I did this.

I'm very body positive. But I'd gotten to the point where I hated that I get winded after one flight of stairs. And that some seats were uncomfortable to sit in. It was difficult for me to keep up with a crowd when walking. That's in part because I have bad knees, too (have had one replaced and the other needs to be done in the next few years). Years ago I weighed 250 and went down to 225 in about 4 months, and I noticed a HUGE difference in my knee pain. Weighing less not only helps alleviate the pain you experience on a daily basis, but it also slows down the degradation.

You might be afraid that deciding to change your eating habits contradicts your insistence on body positivity. But body positivity is really about being grateful for what you have, and accepting that you don't need to change to be acceptable to society. That doesn't mean that there's not room for you to assess your life and decide where you want to make changes and embark on a path to get to your new goals. We do it all the time - we desire a larger house or a newer car, and we think it'll improve our life. It doesn't mean that we aren't grateful for the car we already drive, or that we don't love it and what it's given us. It means we want something more reliable, safe and/or convenient. Flashier is just the bonus plan. Body positivity is about YOU choosing where you're going to be happiest (for whatever reasons), and insisting that people respect that by not portraying dissatisfaction in yourself. You CAN be body-positive and a proponent for less pain and a more healthy body. That's me to a tee.

[ProfessorSlim 115]

My advice...start the process. We needed to go to 3 Nutrition classes, had to be a month apart, and the last one included and exercise physiologist. Also, we had to attend 3 support groups. Also, we had to have a psychological eval prior to surgery approval. Also, a couple of visits at the surgeon's office, and I needed a Physical at my primary as well.

So, lots of appointments take lots of time. You can be learning online, in groups like this, I also love Dr. Matthew Wiener's videos on YouTube. Educate yourself, explore all the info, and then if you feel like you want this, you will know you did the homework beforehand to make an informed choice.

I am soooooo happy I did this, I wish I did it sooner. I have gained and lost 35--45--50 lbs over the last several years. I tried WW, High Protein, No carb, Diet coach, Nutrisystem. I would always lose....then eventually regain. I am a big believer in the fact that some people have higher gherlin which makes them hungrier. With the sleeve, the fundus (where the gherlin originates) is removed.And, of course, the physical capacity is reduced. But to me, losing that hunger drive is huge.

I have lost my desire to over eat, my desire to stop at a store to grab a snack and diet coke, my desire to always be on the hunt for a snack of some sort. I am living my life without food as my primary waking thought throughout my days.

I am 5'9"...I was 273....I was sleeved on 10/26...now, on 12/1..... I am at 224 and a half pounds, That is a 48 lb loss (10 of that was lost in the pre-op diet phase)

My knees do not hurt anymore. I can fit into most of my old clothes, my face looks thinner, I have more energy and I am just so much happier. I did not "body-hate" my fatter body, but I sure do love this version better.

That is my 2 cents worth!

[raising3monkeys 55]

ProfessorSlim brings up a great point - you don't have to be decided on WL surgery (and especially not which kind) in order to start researching, and to start the process of jumping through the required hurdles to get the surgery. That's what I did; I wasn't sure about the surgery, but I figured if I busied myself with getting through all the requirements, I could always quit or decide I didn't want the surgery. I'm in an ***, so there were PLENTY of requirements. I'm still not sure which ones were my insurance's requirements vs. my surgeon's, but in the end, it didn't matter - I just kept going to appointments. Below is an example of what I had to satisfy in order to qualify:

1. Initial visit with my primary care surgeon
2. Initial visit with bariatric surgeon
3. Six months of hospital nutritionist visits (once per month)
4. Pulmonary clearance (which consisted of an initial visit with a pulmonologist, and a visit just to test my lung capacity). I had a recent sleep study since I was already on a CPAP machine. Otherwise I'd likely have had to have a sleep study done, too.
5. Cardiac clearance - visit with cardiologist and an in-office EKG. All in one visit
6. Blood tests
7. Another visit with the bariactric surgeon - to discuss which procedure to choose, talk over any questions, etc.
8. Psychiatrist clearance
9. Surgical clearance from my primary care physician
10. Upper GI - this was done in the hospital's radiology (X-ray) department

I swear I'm missing a few things - because the grand total came out to about 20 separate appointments/visits. By the time I was nearing the end of all of the visits, I'd learned that I was in great health overall, AND that YES, I DID want the WL surgery. I'm not sure exactly when I made up mind, but it happened. And by the time I was at my last appointment, my surgeon had already submitted all the information to my insurance, and they cleared me within days. I scheduled my surgery for 10 days later. It took SO long in the beginning, and then it was a whirlwind in the end.