Body dysmorphia

[Molly23 275]

Since having surgery on 4/20/17 I’ve been really successful losing weight. My highest weight was 311 and this week I weighed in at 194. I went from a size 24 and currently between 12-14. I’ve enjoyed the compliments most of the time and I love buying trendy clothes.

Despite all of this I find that a good amount of the time I’m still struggling with seeing my results, especially in the mirror. Last night it hit me hard and I was just disgusted by my reflection in the mirror. It’s like the old me was staring back and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. I just hate those moments especially since it feels like no matter how supportive my friends and family are they just can’t understand. I think that it’s also linked to the fact that ever time I lost weight in the past I gained it all back and then some. Now that I’ve lost 117lbs it’s my worst nightmare to put all of that weight or even some of it back on. I’m terrified of back sliding more then ever, possibly because this is the most successful I’ve been losing weight. I was also on vacation recently and gained 1.5lbs. I know that isn’t significant and I’ve lost it since but it’s just another reminder that it’s possible to gain it back.

I’m getting worried too because my appetite is close to non existent and I’ve been having a Protein Shake, yogurt, be Protein Bar as my only food for about a week now. I’m getting my recommended Protein but I know it’s not a good pattern. I’m especially concerned because it’s at the same time I’m having a hard time with my BDD.

Has as anyone else been through either of these phases and what did you do to move on? I’m considering seeing the therapist I saw pre-surgery but I’m on the fence about whether it would help or not.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

By the way, Wow you have done fantastic at this program. You deserve all the credit for your hard work.

The weight loss is fast. It's going to take your mind time to catch up to your physical changes. If you feel a counselor might help you work through this..I say go for it.

Yes, I've had the same experience not seeing myself correctly. People that haven't had a drastic drop in weight won't be able to understand how this messes with your mind.

I still have the fear of weight gain. I keep it as a reminder to stay on track. The work never stops after goal.

[shedo82773 1,236]

YES!!! I have!! Like you I had tried many many different diets and would always gain back even more than I had lost. I had my RNY July 2, 2013. I had problems starting like right after my surgery but...I thought it was normal. I had 5 Endoscopes with 4 dilations. I lost 132#'s in 6 months. I had a small gain. And then I maintained my weight of 125-129 for 3 and 1/2 years. I was on insulin 2 times a day 100units and Metformin for my Diabetes. Also, I took 12 different medication. Now I am off all diabetic meds and I only take 4 meds now plus my Vitamins. My health has improved so much it is almost like day and night. I can now exercise, I walk 3 to 4 miles 3 to 4 times a week. I no way had the problems you've had for sure. Thank Goodness it is in your past. May you get everything your heart desires. Hang tight!!

[Molly23 275]

On 11/22/2017 at 7:51 PM, jenn1 said:

By the way, Wow you have done fantastic at this program. You deserve all the credit for your hard work.

The weight loss is fast. It's going to take your mind time to catch up to your physical changes. If you feel a counselor might help you work through this..I say go for it.

Yes, I've had the same experience not seeing myself correctly. People that haven't had a drastic drop in weight won't be able to understand how this messes with your mind.

I still have the fear of weight gain. I keep it as a reminder to stay on track. The work never stops after goal.

Thank you so much! I'm just trying to stay on the plan. It looks like you've been very successful too since your surgery! Congrats!

I think I'm going to go ahead with seeing a counselor. I've had a few rough days in the past week and I figure that it can't hurt.

Thank you for sharing that you've had some of the same feelings about your own weight loss. I certainly don't wish this feeling on anyone but somehow it helps to know that I'm not the only one.

I know that I'll need to work at this for the rest of my life I just hope that I can have that reminder without the anxiety. It's all part of the process!

[Molly23 275]

On 11/22/2017 at 8:01 PM, shedo82773 said:

YES!!! I have!! Like you I had tried many many different diets and would always gain back even more than I had lost. I had my RNY July 2, 2013. I had problems starting like right after my surgery but...I thought it was normal. I had 5 Endoscopes with 4 dilations. I lost 132#'s in 6 months. I had a small gain. And then I maintained my weight of 125-129 for 3 and 1/2 years. I was on insulin 2 times a day 100units and Metformin for my Diabetes. Also, I took 12 different medication. Now I am off all diabetic meds and I only take 4 meds now plus my Vitamins. My health has improved so much it is almost like day and night. I can now exercise, I walk 3 to 4 miles 3 to 4 times a week. I no way had the problems you've had for sure. Thank Goodness it is in your past. May you get everything your heart desires. Hang tight!!

I love hearing stories like yours! It's not only the weight it's all of the other little things that come along with it. All of the excess weight really took its toll on my body and I know it does for a lot of other people. I realize that more every single day as I keep losing weight. The more I lose the more I notice that every pound improves another aspect of my life. I need to remind myself of all the benefits other than weight/size when I get down but it can be hard in those moments. I'm sticking it out and trying to have open conversations with friends about it but I think I'll also be moving forward with seeing a counselor to wrap my head around everything I'm feeling.

[shedo82773 1,236]

Molly23

There is no shame in your game---go to a counselor maybe that can help you thru these times. I did try counseling but she didn't have a clue about WLS. Granted she tried. It just didn't help me. I developed an aversion to food. From getting sick after eating or drinking. So I ask my DR if I should see a Nutritionist Bariatric of course. What a joke!! She told me to eat every 1/2 hour I was awake and to drink High-Calorie BOOST Protein Drink. Now here is a person that has had eating disorders her whole adult life and went thru major surgery to lose her weight!! NOT HAPPENING!!! I told my hubby that there was no way that I would trade one eating disorder for another!! I didn't follow her advice. Things worked out after my last Endoscope and dilation. Due to scar tissue, I had to have 5 Endo's with 4 dialations. The last one was January of 2015. I know that was why I lost so fast (I was at goal weight in 6 months) Magic cure by a new Bariatric Surgeon. YAY ME!!! I hope you get better advice and help than I did. Have a wonderful Sunday!!