Why is it a secret?

[sy2053 4]

I have not told everybody. At least not in my family. Telling two in particular will not magically make them more supportive. I do tend to be of the camp of, it's medical, it's private, it's no ones business. At least until after any surgery is done.
Those that need to know, know. Those I know genuinely care about me and will be supportive, do know. MY just turned 6 years old grandson. He knows. LOL He is so supportive, he's probably one of the two most supportive and encouraging. Though when I lost ten pounds, he told a neighbor I barely knew..."my gramma lost 10 pounds!" haha he was proud, but we had a discussion and so far so good.
But not long ago I was at a family event. My sister (RN), my niece (RN), and I were talking about some medical issues and I'm not sure what came up but the one said something about...then you have those that have gastric bypass, and rolled her eyes. The other quickly followed up with "OH! Or they have the gastric SLEEVE done" and rolled her eyes. Yep they have no need to know. I don't need that kind of judgement and negativity in my life. [emoji4]

For being nurses and in the medical field, they sure are misinformed about weight loss and Surgery!

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[mstinak 7]

20 minutes ago, sy2053 said:

For being nurses and in the medical field, they sure are misinformed about weight loss and Surgery!

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I suspect they are making a lot of assumptions. But it is about who they are as people, more then what their profession is, and I should have made that a little more apparent. Thankfully, the hospital I'm having my surgery, while the same that my niece works in, and her mother works in an attached facility, there is an entire floor for bariatric patients. Neither of them has any business to be on that floor.

[GwennyPenny 108]

People who do that annoy me so much. If they think having half their stomach removed or intestines rearranged is the easy way out they should try it! It takes a lot if courage and determination to do this and do it well. I wish you all the best on your journey. Only tell who you want to tell it's your body.

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[GwennyPenny 108]

Thank you everyone for the honest feedback. All points make sense to me. I do understand not discussing medical conditions and procedures. I'm just so excited about it I can't keep quiet. [emoji4]

I was so excited I told everybody too. I had a lot of different reactions but now that I am four months out and the losses are visible people are being very supportive and nice about it. Prior to this I used to keep diets secret especially from my mother when she was still with us because I used to feel that she would get judgey about it and too involved. If she was here now I would gladly share this with her and show her how to help me. But then I'm not a kid now lol

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[FLSunShineGal 9]

For me it’s a very personal decision and I’m doing it for me.. only my parents, husband and one very good friend knows.

I have a girl friend that had the surgery and people always discount her weight loss because of having the surgery and I know how hard it’s been for her.. so I’m just keeping it on the DL [emoji6]

[raising3monkeys 55]

I.tell.EVERYONE. I'm happy that it's available to me, I'm proud of all the hoops I've jumped through to get this far, and in general, I'm a blabbermouth about my life. It's served me well. I've had people come and ask me about prior procedures I've had done, because they know I'm open to questions and helping. I've had several surgeries in my lifetime, including a bladder sling, tubal coiling, a complete knee replacement and a tummy tuck/breast redux/lipo years ago. I welcome the questions about pain, satisfaction, tips on how to get through it easier, etc. And honestly, I couldn't care if people think this is the 'cheater's" way out. F that noise. Nobody thinks insulin shots are the cheaters way out of diabetes. Or that knee replacement is the cheater's way out of hobbling. And as my sister told me once, 100 pennies is still a dollar. If you have the body you want at the end of the day, that's what matters. I'm not a physical trainer - I have no reason to need to brag that I did it all by exercise. I DID.IT (well, I'm starting to - I just got my surgery 3 weeks ago.)

If me talking about WL surgery can take some of the stigma out of it, and others can get to a place of happiness because I was there to normalize this for them, then that would make me really happy. Overjoyed, actually. And no, this isn't the same as telling others you had surgery on an infected toenail - EVERYONE is going to see these results. And I'm going to be honest about what it took to achieve the results - the good, the bad and the ugly.

[DragonMom5 5]

I.tell.EVERYONE. I'm happy that it's available to me, I'm proud of all the hoops I've jumped through to get this far, and in general, I'm a blabbermouth about my life. It's served me well. I've had people come and ask me about prior procedures I've had done, because they know I'm open to questions and helping. I've had several surgeries in my lifetime, including a bladder sling, tubal coiling, a complete knee replacement and a tummy tuck/breast redux/lipo years ago. I welcome the questions about pain, satisfaction, tips on how to get through it easier, etc. And honestly, I couldn't care if people think this is the 'cheater's" way out. F that noise. Nobody thinks insulin shots are the cheaters way out of diabetes. Or that knee replacement is the cheater's way out of hobbling. And as my sister told me once, 100 pennies is still a dollar. If you have the body you want at the end of the day, that's what matters. I'm not a physical trainer - I have no reason to need to brag that I did it all by exercise. I DID.IT (well, I'm starting to - I just got my surgery 3 weeks ago.)
If me talking about WL surgery can take some of the stigma out of it, and others can get to a place of happiness because I was there to normalize this for them, then that would make me really happy. Overjoyed, actually. And no, this isn't the same as telling others you had surgery on an infected toenail - EVERYONE is going to see these results. And I'm going to be honest about what it took to achieve the results - the good, the bad and the ugly.

I actually have found myself talking about it more in the past couple of days as well. I am just so excited about the prospect of being able to do things I can’t now and how much my health will improve, I can’t contain it! There will be skeptics but I know I have to be strong to get through it and it won’t be a cakewalk. Anyone I talk to who thinks it will be, well they can just watch me shrink and be jealous! [emoji23]

[moondoggie1983 202]

Ironic. With the name under cover diet lol

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I mean wow. That’s harsh. This person asked a pretty innocent question and it really seems like you’re mocking them. If you don’t want to tell people, that’s cool. But if this person, or anybody else for that matter, wants to tell, that’s their business. I mean I’ve told my family and coworkers and my close friends. Like someone else said, they know I’m going to be out of work for a bit. And they’re all part of my support system. Am I broadcasting it on Facebook? No. But plenty of peace do know. It all comes down to personal preference. But I don’t see the need to be catty.

[moondoggie1983 202]

I've seen so many people posting about not telling anyone about their surgery or being mad if someone finds out. I'm just curious why you don't want people to know? I've told basically everyone in my life. It's a huge deal to me. I'm excited about it and don't want to hide it. I'm not judging. Everyone is different, I'm just curious.

Be excited! This is a huge change that we’re all getting ready for, and we deserve to be excited about it! Tell whoever you want. Or don’t. Just you do you and don’t worry about anything anyone else has to say. [emoji6]

[Tasg 7]

i have decided not to tell people about my surgery also. In the past six years I have had both breast cancer and thyroid cancer. You would be amazed at what people think is ok to say to someone going through cancer. So I don't want the unwanted advise from people about this surgery. everyone seems to have an opinion on and I have chosen to listen only to my close family. It is going to be very tough trying to work around Christmas dinner however. Still trying to figure out how I can be there with thirty people and be the only one not eating!

[Frankette 95]

1 hour ago, Tasg said:

i have decided not to tell people about my surgery also. In the past six years I have had both breast cancer and thyroid cancer. You would be amazed at what people think is ok to say to someone going through cancer. So I don't want the unwanted advise from people about this surgery. everyone seems to have an opinion on and I have chosen to listen only to my close family. It is going to be very tough trying to work around Christmas dinner however. Still trying to figure out how I can be there with thirty people and be the only one not eating!

You'd be surprised at how self involved people are. On my preop diet I have been to 2 nephews birthday parties and Thanksgiving. I put food on my plate and pushed it around and not a soul (other than my husband) knew I didn't eat a bite of it . I then switched plates with his empty one and when asked told the person the food was so good .

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I mean wow. That’s harsh. This person asked a pretty innocent question and it really seems like you’re mocking them. If you don’t want to tell people, that’s cool. But if this person, or anybody else for that matter, wants to tell, that’s their business. I mean I’ve told my family and coworkers and my close friends. Like someone else said, they know I’m going to be out of work for a bit. And they’re all part of my support system. Am I broadcasting it on Facebook? No. But plenty of peace do know. It all comes down to personal preference. But I don’t see the need to be catty.

Who's catty? Who said she shouldn't tell people or that I had an issue with anyone telling people.

Don't be dramatic . It was simple I found it ironic she was called under cover diet asking why people hide it I found it funny.
I didn't even read your whole message as it doesn't even make any sense lol as I didn't say anything about others telling people I answered the question. Bye

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[UndercoverDiet 57]

I really did ask this question from a place of innocent curiosity. I appreciate the honest answers. Since asking the question I have actually had a rude awakening on why I SHOULD have used more discretion on who I told. I had a lady at work come up to me the other day and say she had heard I'm going to Mexico for surgery soon. Now this is a person I probably would have told on my own had we had a conversation about it, but it bothered me. I got to thinking about it and realized the office is buzzing with people talking about me. I've experienced that enough in my past. Now when I'm at work all I can think about is people fat shaming me behind my back. So yeah, I regret being so open. Plus I'm super scared to fail now that everyone knows.

[Tess530 37]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. These are my fears that have kept my mouth closed. I know a lot of people and am well aware of human nature to judge and gossip. The last thing I want is other people's pity. I am like you also and am truly so happy and grateful that I am given this opportunity--so excited to begin this journey.

So here you are. When you feel those ignorant fools, pull your strength from deep inside and stay strong. Thank God for your family, your base, and know that we are on your side and want the very best for you. We know your pain and dreams. I do.

You're going to be great!

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I really did ask this question from a place of innocent curiosity. I appreciate the honest answers. Since asking the question I have actually had a rude awakening on why I SHOULD have used more discretion on who I told. I had a lady at work come up to me the other day and say she had heard I'm going to Mexico for surgery soon. Now this is a person I probably would have told on my own had we had a conversation about it, but it bothered me. I got to thinking about it and realized the office is buzzing with people talking about me. I've experienced that enough in my past. Now when I'm at work all I can think about is people fat shaming me behind my back. So yeah, I regret being so open. Plus I'm super scared to fail now that everyone knows.

I knew this would happen. I was going to say let's wait and see how excited she is about exposing her self. But people will call you catty. At the end of the day I have no regrets for not telling people who have no importance to me..more people regretting telling people..

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