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In need of a buddy or mentor!!



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I'm 5 months post-op and I don't feel like I'm in a good place. I have a lot of stress and have reverted back to my old habits that got me in trouble in the first place! I can feel my stomach stretching and it's frustrating to know I went through such a major surgery and I'm messing it up. I don't talk to people about my surgery or my health so I think I need a good support system to help me through this journey, or at least this hurdle, because I don't think I can do this alone. :/

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I can relate to everything you said.

I had surgery 2 years ago and have had way more success than I thought I would have. My eating habits are dramatically different and I even exercise which is a first for me (I was made fun of, as a kid).

But between 6 months to 1 year out, I was in the same place as you. I had completely stalled and I was eating the worst food for those of us who've had the surgery (ice cream, simple carbs, fast food). I had self-paid and I was having to pay back my loan while I was not losing anymore weight. I was completely despondent.

What has worked for me is OA-- it really is a 12 step program for people who have no control over their eating and food behaviors. My experience was that I was in a dire position: I had taken the most drastic measure possible and still had the same problem as before the surgery.

Please message or PM me if you want help!! Helping other has helped me to live a sane life at peace.

Other resources include:

Overeaters Anonymous: OA's website that has meeting lists, literature, and other information

OA Hour of Power: A fellowship within OA that relies on the spiritual solution found in the 12 steps (any religion, belief system, or denominations are welcome.

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Just coming to this site can be a support group. I tend to come & go but I know when I'm hitting the boards on a regular basis it's more motivation for me to stay the course.

I had surgery in January and I've felt the same as you. While I don't feel like I'm reverting to a lot of bad habits there are battles that I'm still having. Have to remember that the surgery is a tool to help us. There's so many other things that go into this.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Take a deep breath and refocus. Think back to what was working and don't get down on yourself. I'm needing a recharge after being in a stall for what seems like 2 months now.

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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