Need support

[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

I had VSG WLS January 25th, 2017. I dropped 45 pounds and then got stuck at the same weight for a couple of months over the summer. I realized I was sabotaging myself by eating things I shouldn't. I recommitted to my cause and dropped another 7 pounds (52 total) by the end of September/beginning of October. Now I'm getting a divorce and I'm emotionally eating. I know I'm doing it & don't want to be doing it, but I am still having trouble stopping. I keep going to bed each night swearing to myself I'll do better the next day... but the next day comes and I'm eating crackers... fruit... chocolate... nowhere near enough Protein & too many carbs. I'm still avoiding bread, Pasta & rice but that's not enough when a candy bar overrides a Protein Shake. I'm drinking Water but not enough of JUST water... avoiding soda still but sweet tea is suddenly my "drug of choice." I go to counseling and I see my NUT and my surgeon regularly but I'm so ashamed of my behavior and want them all to keep being proud of me (especially important to me I think because I feel no one else in my life is) so I lie and claim I'm eating and drinking right and have no idea why this is happening. Please don't bash me... I'm really struggling and had no one else to talk to about it.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

11 minutes ago, AGreenEyedWolf said:

I'm really struggling and had no one else to talk to about it.

Can you afford to see a quality hypnotherapist or a motivation expert?

[Tammy T Patton 21]

It's good you have this forum to express what's really going in your life, but you're weaving a web that's going to continue downward if you can't confide in your therapist and your doctor. They are there to help you, not just pat you on the back when you're doing well. If you're lying to them, then you're going to continue to do bad. It's just the facts. If you honestly think the doctor doesn't know you're lying, you're sadly mistaken. This is what they do for a living and they know if you follow the plan, then you would get the results. Work it out. Work it out with your therapist. I'm a licensed counselor and I can tell you and hear people lie to me everyday and I just let them know, when they're ready to tell the full story and give me more facts than not, we can get further in their therapy. If not, they will always deal with the same issues and make a ton of excuses as to why they're not making the accomplishments in life that they're striving for. I hope this helps.

[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

Rainbow_Warrior no, I can't - my insurance is Medicare and I do not think it covers those things. I can barely go to counseling because I have to pay 20% every time I walk in the door and since I am going through a divorce I just lost half my household's income but the bills stayed the same and I am struggling financially.

Tammy T Patton I know I am doing myself a disservice by lying - I hope that when I go to counseling this week and to see my NUT and surgeon next week I can be honest with them about what is happening. This was not my intention and I was so proud of myself for doing well - my life has been turned upside down by this divorce and I feel so depressed and angry - I promise you, I do not want to eat these things - I am literally screaming at myself in my head to stop as I am chewing - it's awful!

I want very badly to get back on track - I am trying really hard to end these eating habits - I was doing fine at first but the more time that goes by the harder it seems to get. He still lives int he house with me and our son doesn't know yet and my in-laws have paid for him to hire a fancy men's rights lawyer to try and take everything from me but because our son doesn't know yet I keep having to be polite to them when they come over here (they never used to but suddenly its almost every weekend). I feel like I am in Hell :-(

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Go straight to the kitchen and throw the crap out. Stop bringing it in the house. Since you are on a more strict budget now, you can't afford the junk now anyway. Sugar, pour the sugar out!!! It will only make you want more if you keep putting it in your tea - get some sweetner or something, switch to crystal light.

You can do this, you know how. Go check out some books from the library on mindful eating, getting through a divorce, find a free support group.

Chin up, it will get better if you take action. Just take one, and build on it. Good luck.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

4 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

throw the crap out. Stop bringing it in the house.

Very upfront straight talk.

That will lower the outgoing expenses for Jules too.

[ctdan 35]

If your life is becoming out of control, focus on the one thing you can control. What you eat. Believe in yourself and focus on stabilizing yourself. You can do it. You did a lot to get where you are today with weight loss

[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

On 11/11/2017 at 7:45 PM, Sosewsue61 said:

Sugar, pour the sugar out!!! It will only make you want more if you keep putting it in your tea - get some sweetner or something, switch to crystal light.

I use Splenda, not sugar in my morning hot tea - but the "household" has sugary iced tea and other items I am having trouble resisting - I cannot throw out what doesn't belong to me, what I did not bring into the house myself, or what doesn't belong to only me... trust me, I would if I could - but honestly, if I threw out the things my husband and son like to eat just to keep myself from eating it, that would only make my situation worse be causing fights. If I say anything about the temptation or how I can't have all the things they can have and I need some support, all I get for feedback is "then you shouldn't have had the surgery."

I have done better the last couple of days... I am doing my best to stay busy and to stay out of the house so the temptation is less and to make better food choices. It's not easy when I am this depressed and so surrounded by temptation but I am really trying.

[mylighthouse 782]

Go to the grocery store and buy baby carrots, red peppers, cucumbers, celery....things like that. Slice the veggies up and put them into a big ziplock bag. They are nice and crunchy, so that is good if you need a crunch, plus, if you snack on these when you get hungry, or even if you aren't very hungry, that will help keep the carbs down and the calories. If you just absolutely have to have something similar to a candy bar, then keep a box or two of the Atkins harvest trail chocolate and sea salt caramel bars around. Each one is 180 calories and has about 4 net carbs, 8 grams Protein, a great amount of Fiber and only 1 gram of sugar. If you only have one a day and eat other low carb foods, it will help you. The Atkins bars are really good, so put them in a private place, like your bedroom or something, so noone else can eat them. I don't eat them everyday, but I don't think 1 a day will hurt in your case.

Those are just a couple of things that have helped me, however, I understand that you are going through a divorce, and that is very difficult. I have been through a very ugly one myself.

I think you need to have plenty of snacky "good foods" available all the time. Then hopefully you will reach for those foods instead of the bad foods.

I wish you the best in this difficult time of your life. You can do it!

[mylighthouse 782]

I just thought of something else that you might want to try. You mentioned that you snack on crackers. I saw a "recipe" for homemade cheese or parmesan crisps, and all they are made with is cheese. I haven't made them, but a lot of people said they are great, and that they take the place of chips or crackers and that they stay crispy in a ziplock. You can even dip them in something. I would do a homemade pico relish--low carb, low calorie. I think the idea behind the homemade cheese crisps is that they are carb free and have Protein in them, which is great because protein fills you up whereas carbs make you hungrier. Again, I think you need to have plenty of good Snacks that actually taste good so that you can choose them over the bad snacks--crackers, chips, candybars--all that crap, especially sice you say you can't throw out the family member's junk that is tempting you.

I didn't say it earlier, but I also agree that you need to quit lying to your therapist. You are causing yourself more stress in an already stressful time in your life and you are doing harm to yourself.

I know your situation isn't easy, but neither is mine, and I'm 100% certain that almost everyone on this site is or definitely has been in a tough/stressful/difficult situation while traveling on their weight loss journey.

Hope this doesn't come across as if I am saying I know it all, I'm just trying to help.

Edited November 16, 2017 by mylighthouse

[stuffedavocado 10]

Quote

If I say anything about the temptation or how I can't have all the things they can have and I need some support, all I get for feedback is "then you shouldn't have had the surgery."

This really stood out to me - and I'm sorry you don't have the support of your child and soon to be ex-husband. That must be painful. It sounds like you don't have the emotional support in your family or friends that you need. It would be really helpful if you found a support group like OA (Overeaters Anonymous) where you can talk to people who struggle with the same issues you have and can offer support, love and guidance. Your therapist, surgeon and nutritionist can only do so much. Having that connection with others who experience the desire to binge or eat for emotional reasons will do wonders for you.

Good luck to you on your journey.

Edited November 16, 2017 by stuffedavocado

[DropWt4Life 957]

Agreeneyedwolf...Sorry that you are going through this. I know divorce is hard. You've got a tough road ahead. However, you've got to start taking care of YOU. Your soon-to-be-ex isn't worried about you...Neither are his parents. The whole household situation sounds really toxic right now.

Only you can tell when the right time is to tell your son, but I hope you do it sooner rather than later. Your health and mental well-being is going to be decimated if something doesn't give. You know how you need to eat to be successful. You are successful already. It is just hard to focus on your eating when you have other pressing issues in front of you.

You are an angel. I would not be as nice as you. I would be an a-dub to the in-laws, and it would be deuces. I just couldn't stay in that environment. Nothing could keep me from my daughter, but I just couldn't stay.

I hope you find peace in your life, and are able to get back to living life for YOU. You deserve happiness, and I hope you find it in the near future.

[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

Yes I make parm crisps from time to time when I can afford to buy the parmesan cheese they are quite good and do make a better snack than chips for sure luckily I'm not a big chip eater crackers yes chips no Either way I know they are bad for me. I am doing better since my last post. I saw my surgeon and my NUT yesterday & I told them both honestly what's been going on ... both were very encouraging And understanding which was a relief to me. My surgeon is most concerned about me not having a lawyer and the stress that this is causing me because he knows I can handle my weight-loss Journey if I set my mind to it. I think I just got discouraged when the scale stopped moving so quickly... I know that our surgeries were not the same but my cousin had rn.y in June and is already 8 pounds from her goal weight having lost 90-plus pounds so seeing her succeed quicker than me while going through such stressful stuff in my life kind of got me down. I'm determined not to let it keep me down though. Thanks for all the encouragement you guys I really appreciate it I'll keep you updated on how I'm doing I'm down 54 pounds total now and hoping to continue watching the scale slide lower over the next 8 months which is when my surgeon says most Primetime for my weight loss to happen since surgery.

[mylighthouse 782]

So glad to hear that you are doing better.

[sraul1230 5]

I not only had surgery and have battled emotional eating but I work in the mental health field for the last 7.5 years. The only way a healthcare provider can help you is if you’re honest otherwise they don’t know what is going on. Plus avoiding issues like emotional eating only makes the issue progressively worse until you face it directly. It’s hard but worth it. Good luck.