Surgery Nov 16 - SAHM with 2 little kids, support challenges, struggling with preop diet

[Once Upon a Sleeve 24]

Not sure why I'm posting. I think I'm posting primarily because I'd love to find some kindred spirits who "get it".

I'm scheduled for surgery in 7 days (next Thursday). I'm a stay at home mom with a husband and a 1st and 2nd grader at home.

My family and closest friends know I'm having bariatric surgery. I'm telling everyone else that I'm having my gall bladder removed (which is true), so I won't be able to volunteer or attend events for a few weeks. My 1st grader knows "mama is having her gall bladder removed and after that she will not be able to eat much fat or carbs so she will lose weight." He was very excited and immediately asked "will you be able to run around with us and play tag when you are skinny?" It was lovely to hear, but it also broke my heart.

My husband works full time and is theoretically "willing" to help, but only if I very specifically tell him what I need him to do. This is a man who, when I asked him to bring me the clothes in the dryer and to put the clothes in the washer in the dryer, he did exactly that. When I went to get the clothes an hour later, I realized the door was open. He told me I didn't tell him to hit "start". So I have to give VERY exacting instructions if I want him to do something. (He doesn't do this on purpose - he just lacks common sense if it's not something directly involved with his work!)

Anyhow, so he knows he has to pick up the kids the Thursday and Friday after my surgery.... the next week is Thanksgiving. Despite what I've told him, he seems to think that the kids will be okay home with just me to take care of them the week of Thanksgiving. I have been telling him for weeks that isn't realistic. He said if I needed help, I could call a nanny agency the week after my surgery. Ummm... nope, I don't think I'll be up for screening a nanny post-op.

We went back and forth for several weeks about this. My husband offered to have his 80 year old father come to help with the kids. His dad is super smart, but will say that he doesn't understand why "today's kids don't listen and do things to irritate adults." When he came to "help" two weeks after I had baby #1 (right after my mom left), he literally announced "let's go for a walk, we've been in the house all day" and expected me to bundle up our 2 week old and my post-c-section self and go for an hour long walk in the hills of San Francisco! I did it out of respect for my FIL until I nearly collapsed (it was only the second time I had met him), but after that, I learned to put my foot down!!

After hearing hubby and I argue about childcare for the umpteenth time, my 1st grader announces "Grandma needs to come. If she doesn't, we are going to starve to death because dad doesn't know how to feed us since he can't cook. I can make microwave mac n cheese, but that's not enough food."

So hubby finally agreed that mom will stay for a month to help take care of my 7 & 9 year olds while I'm recovering. So my mom will take care of feeding the kids and getting them dressed for school and to activities while I am recovering. Hubby will only be responsible for morning drop-off. I'm so grateful for her. My mom is 72, so she's slowing down, but she spends a few months a year with us, so the kids love her and know her well and they will listen to her.

Now I need to get my house to "grandma level clean" so she doesn't work too hard cleaning while she is here.

So now I have childcare lined up, the fridge is full of ingredients so grandma can cook, I have Protein Shakes and supplies for post-op, and I have made my hospital packing list.

I've started my 2 weeks of liquid diet. I have mostly stuck to my shakes + 6 egg whites/day (which my bariatric nutritionist said is fine), but then last night, after the kids went to bed, I took a bowl of their uneaten tortellini, peeled off the Pasta part, and ate the cheesy center. Probably 20 pieces of cheese. I wasn't sure what to do about my indiscretion. I didn't think I could vomit it up, so I just went to bed and told myself I would be better tomorrow.

My mom asked today if I'm nervous about the surgery. I told her that I'm feeling remarkably not-stressed about the surgery itself. I feel like there are so many things to do before surgery, that surgery itself is going to sneak up on me.

Anyhow..... that's my story. Thanks for reading!

[Mrs.2252 11]

My husband is the same way. What I’ve done to make it “easier” is:

Grocery shop for at least 2 weeks with everything he needs to feed the kids. It’ll be easy stuff and if worse comes to worst they can eat sandwiches. They will be just fine.
House will be clean.
The kids closets and drawers will be sorted. My twins are 6. They can dress themselves.
When i come home Friday i will do what i can and what i can’t will just not get done. My husband is only off my surgery day and he day after. He’s going to have to figure out how to manage school, lunches, dinner, karate and dance class. They will all survive.
Every day from now till surgery day i am reorganizing every room in my house.

They will be fine. Good luck with your surgery and recovery.

[hmills653 365]

Luckily, mine are in high school so they were more of a help. If only one of them had a license we'd have been set. I suggest if you don't already drink bottled Water, pick some up. After surgery it tasted better than tap water. I got the little 6 oz bottles to sip. I'd say by 3 weeks I was feeling pretty good and ready to do a little more.

[Lady83 43]

My surgery is the same day (11/16)! I also have kids (4) 9, 5, 3 and 6 months. I have a lot of the same concerns as you do. Maybe try to make some freezer meals and lunches before surgery so you can rest a bit? Maybe they can buy lunch at school? My 5 and 9 year olds are pretty self sufficient, thankfully. It is the littles that need to be picked up that I'm more concerned about. Hang in there you will do great!!

[justamber 7]

I had laparoscopic surgery when my baby was 6 weeks old it was fine. I was fine day 2 up and moving around. I never even needed pain meds. My surgery is on the 29th and I am just ready to be done. You will be fine. Deep breaths.

Sent from my VS996 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Once Upon a Sleeve 24]

Thanks everyone! I’m getting really anxious, (and started stress cheat-eating tofu), but my mom arrives tomorrow, so I think everything will be okay.