Got a date... Chickened out!

[Mattymatt 491]

8 minutes ago, JeezLouise91 said:

Thank you for the advice. It's crazy that I'd rather get it done when and if I get in that position rather than nipping it in the bud now. I shouldn't wait until things get out of control I know. It's such a life changing decision though, and I haven't had the best of support from anyone. Decisions decisions...

Your chances of a speed and easy recovery when you reach the phase that I am in are far less. Just keep that in mind.

[JeezLouise91 55]

Your chances of a speed and easy recovery when you reach the phase that I am in are far less. Just keep that in mind.

Yeah, who's to say that if I don't get it done now and fail again to lose weight on my own I'll be even more scared the next time I consider the surgery... [emoji29]

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[rubia72 200]

They asked her to stop smoking a couple of weeks before surgery but she never did her husband told me she told the doctor that she did but she really didn’t. He led me to believe that her complications were caused by her own fault not the surgery.

[Mattymatt 491]

1 minute ago, rubia72 said:

They asked her to stop smoking a couple of weeks before surgery but she never did her husband told me she told the doctor that she did but she really didn’t. He led me to believe that her complications were caused by her own fault not the surgery.

The doctors are very serious and sober about the diet and lifestyle rules that you must abide by in order to avoid or lessen the complications. This procedure is not for the faint of heart. I believe you need to be 100% committed to it. I am struggling badly right now so I have great hope that when it becomes my turn on the surgeon's table, the journey to life long health will begin.

[JeezLouise91 55]

They asked her to stop smoking a couple of weeks before surgery but she never did her husband told me she told the doctor that she did but she really didn’t. He led me to believe that her complications were caused by her own fault not the surgery.

Oh wow that's crazy. I feel bad enough for Vaping on occasion. I'm going to get 0% nicotine liquid soon but worry that if I ask my surgeon if that'll be OK he'll still say no.

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[JeezLouise91 55]

The doctors are very serious and sober about the diet and lifestyle rules that you must abide by in order to avoid or lessen the complications. This procedure is not for the faint of heart. I believe you need to be 100% committed to it. I am struggling badly right now so I have great hope that when it becomes my turn on the surgeon's table, the journey to life long health will begin.

I wish you all the best! So many people have said that if you don't think you're ready then you're probably not. Thinking back I wish I would of went for the band as it is irreversible if there are any complications. But obviously that doesn't mean they're aren't any. Commitment scares me I guess!

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

1 hour ago, JeezLouise91 said:

Hey everyone thanks so much for all your replies. I am sorry I have had a hectic couple of days and not had a chance to even read through these let alone reply.

Now that I have can I just say thank you for all your positive and encouraging words. It sounds like most of you wish you had it done sooner. And the fact that loose skin may not be as much of an issue if I get it done now sounds tempting.

Maybe I'm not mature enough to commit who knows. My life was different nearly two years ago when I first started towards my journey for this surgery (I'm from the UK and getting it done on the NHS is a looooong process). I was in kind of a bad place and felt like not only would surgery help with my weight but also force me to kick some bad habits I had with alcohol and cigarettes.

Now things are different and I've learnt to respect myself I have cut out the cigarettes and lowered my alcohol content greatly. I'm also thinking do I now have the will power to lose this weight on my own?

I tried many attempts before but outside factors and stresses contributed to making it more difficult than usual but now that they are no more and I am finally happy I feel like I can try one more time to do it myself before getting this done. 2 years ago I didn't even care about the risks I was at such a low point and desperate. Now I respect myself and my body and my life and feel that I am not having enough issues with my weight to consider this.

I hear stories of people not being able to walk 5 minutes without getting out of breath, or not being able to go on fairground rides, or even having past heart attacks. I am not at that stage yet and feel I am not only less deserving of it but also not in the position where if I don't get this now I might not be able to see my 50s.

Being slim again would be lovely I must admit and being able to have children would be amazing but right now my life isn't at any risk. Which is why I don't think I should put it at risk if that makes sense?

This is not me saying a definite no just going a little deeper into why the complications concern me more than usual now compared to when it did at first.



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Edited November 5, 2017 by dreamingsmall
Repeated post. Signal issues.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Aww. It wasn't repeated. Silly phone. I'm 26.. 4 months post. No regrets. If the time is not right for you or you gave a fear of commitment counselling will help you uncover the underlining reasons and feelings. I'm uk too. And for you to have got it on the NHS the amount of hoops people have to go through they must have considered you significant risk. I have friends still waiting for 4 years + on the NHS. what is your bmi? Good luck I knew the time was right for me but was scared I was going to die in surgery till I was put under. I took the risk. I'm greatful I did

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

7 hours ago, rubia72 said:

It’s a difficult life altering decision and at the end of the day you need to do it for you and no one else. It’s your body and your life and ultimately you will have to live and deal with the consequences. Today I am glad I did it but would I recommend it to anyone else? My answer is no. I agree that you should speak to a psychiatrist and your doctor and then make the decision that’s best for you. I once spoke to a man before my surgery who lost his wife 5 years after the surgery he said that she was not following her doctors post surgery advice and not taking care of herself and that’s why she died of complications. However he said if I cannot change the way I think first in other words my mindset then don’t do it but If I could then go ahead and it’s true if you can’t change the way you deal with food before surgery then you are not ready. Take care and again don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, you do what’s best for you[emoji6]

Can I ask why you wouldn't recommend it?

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

1 hour ago, JeezLouise91 said:

Hey everyone thanks so much for all your replies. I am sorry I have had a hectic couple of days and not had a chance to even read through these let alone reply.

Now that I have can I just say thank you for all your positive and encouraging words. It sounds like most of you wish you had it done sooner. And the fact that loose skin may not be as much of an issue if I get it done now sounds tempting.

Maybe I'm not mature enough to commit who knows. My life was different nearly two years ago when I first started towards my journey for this surgery (I'm from the UK and getting it done on the NHS is a looooong process). I was in kind of a bad place and felt like not only would surgery help with my weight but also force me to kick some bad habits I had with alcohol and cigarettes.

Now things are different and I've learnt to respect myself I have cut out the cigarettes and lowered my alcohol content greatly. I'm also thinking do I now have the will power to lose this weight on my own?

I tried many attempts before but outside factors and stresses contributed to making it more difficult than usual but now that they are no more and I am finally happy I feel like I can try one more time to do it myself before getting this done. 2 years ago I didn't even care about the risks I was at such a low point and desperate. Now I respect myself and my body and my life and feel that I am not having enough issues with my weight to consider this.

I hear stories of people not being able to walk 5 minutes without getting out of breath, or not being able to go on fairground rides, or even having past heart attacks. I am not at that stage yet and feel I am not only less deserving of it but also not in the position where if I don't get this now I might not be able to see my 50s.

Being slim again would be lovely I must admit and being able to have children would be amazing but right now my life isn't at any risk. Which is why I don't think I should put it at risk if that makes sense?

This is not me saying a definite no just going a little deeper into why the complications concern me more than usual now compared to when it did at first.



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I can say. People have heart attacks at barely overweight and its unexpected.. So not being there yet.. I don't know if anyone knows when they are there yet.. The risk is higher.. But other things along side obesity contribute. I respect my self and my body .. That's what made me do this.

[JeezLouise91 55]

I can say. People have heart attacks at barely overweight and its unexpected.. So not being there yet.. I don't know if anyone knows when they are there yet.. The risk is higher.. But other things along side obesity contribute. I respect my self and my body .. That's what made me do this. [emoji4]

Aw thank you hun,

And I hope it didn't sound like I think that people who get the surgery don't respect themselves or their body haha! Opposite infact. It was more of me saying I didn't care if I had any complications at the time because I didn't respect myself, now that I do I'm nervous lol.

My BMI is around 42. Wow four years is a long time!

I am so greatful for being given this opportunity. I just wish the process was alot quicker. I feel like I would of been more confident about getting it done then than I do now!

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

13 hours ago, JeezLouise91 said:

Aw thank you hun,

And I hope it didn't sound like I think that people who get the surgery don't respect themselves or their body haha! Opposite infact. It was more of me saying I didn't care if I had any complications at the time because I didn't respect myself, now that I do I'm nervous lol.

My BMI is around 42. Wow four years is a long time!

I am so greatful for being given this opportunity. I just wish the process was alot quicker. I feel like I would of been more confident about getting it done then than I do now!

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Wow! Were I live your bmi has to be way higher to qualify . I think my bmi was about the same in the 40s but I went private as I didn't want the long wait. Its whether you want to go back on the list again. And I know what you meant about now considering what could be a risk etc your doing the right think really thinking deeply. Its easier for me as I'm already on the other side. The weight is just falling off and my confidence is going up every day. I have days were I'm like I just want to eat a whole meal.. Then I get on the scale and I'm like sh** were did these lbs go ? Lol Its sureal. There is no going back and I was miserable first month. Every time someone sees me they are like damn what happened ?! How?! You look amazing. I can tell you right now there is no effort. 4 months post. I eat what's on my plan and I don't even weigh as often anymore as I finally believe in the process lol if you have any questions as were the same age and around same bmi I think I was 17 stone+ on day of surgery now 13+ approx so can't complain.. Not trying to convince you ! As if its not right for you it isn't. Just my experience.

[JeezLouise91 55]

Wow! Were I live your bmi has to be way higher to qualify . I think my bmi was about the same in the 40s but I went private as I didn't want the long wait. Its whether you want to go back on the list again. And I know what you meant about now considering what could be a risk etc your doing the right think really thinking deeply. Its easier for me as I'm already on the other side. The weight is just falling off and my confidence is going up every day. I have days were I'm like I just want to eat a whole meal.. Then I get on the scale and I'm like sh** were did these lbs go ? Lol Its sureal. There is no going back and I was miserable first month. Every time someone sees me they are like damn what happened ?! How?! You look amazing. I can tell you right now there is no effort. 4 months post. I eat what's on my plan and I don't even weigh as often anymore as I finally believe in the process lol if you have any questions as were the same age and around same bmi I think I was 17 stone+ on day of surgery now 13+ approx so can't complain.. Not trying to convince you ! As if its not right for you it isn't. Just my experience.

Thanks for telling me about your experience, glad it's going well!

Yeah my BMI isn't the worst. Not the best but certainly not the worst lol. I worked out that I need to drop around 4/5 dress sizes to be the right size for my height. Thinking about it it's really not all that much.

Since being accepted I've been going haaard on eating healthy and exercising. I decided not to bother calorie counting or even go on a diet. Just cut bad habits like takeaways, big portions, forgetting Breakfast and ofcourse sweet and fatty foods and get off my arse more lol.

Its been going well I've lost around 4lbs in just over a week which makes leaving the surgery more tempting however how long before it piles back on? Chance it could just be Water that I've lost too [emoji26]

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

On 11/5/2017 at 0:52 AM, JeezLouise91 said:

I wish you all the best! So many people have said that if you don't think you're ready then you're probably not. Thinking back I wish I would of went for the band as it is irreversible if there are any complications. But obviously that doesn't mean they're aren't any. Commitment scares me I guess!

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The band is very high risk for complications. I'd never consider the band. My surgeon doesn't barely do them now due to the poor success rate.

[Brandeis 401]

I mean, there are people who have "pushed through" and lost the weight, but...for me , the complications of surgery are way lower and less of a risk factor than those of staying overweight. Add to that the fact that the chances of you getting the weight off on your own and keeping it off are extremely slim -- I believe the number is somewhere around 1/125 people actually succeed in doing this. That's less than a 1% chance of success.

If you want to give it a try, give it a try. Maybe you're the one in a hundred who can do it. But I'm not sure what you're so afraid of in surgery. And, again, it really sounds to me like you need to talk to a psychiatrist about it all before you make a decision either way.

Edited November 6, 2017 by Brandeis