Should I have to

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

The only one that has done any flaming is MB. I'm still floored over her comments.

[nina874 48]

Yes Green , get those piccies up. I on the other hand both look no diferrent and lack the techno know-how to load them

Nina x

[Jachut 487]

I think the thing people fail to realise is someone's motivation for sharing these details abou themselves.

its become fairly obvious in the past few days that some people just dont want to hear about it or see it.

But I ask them to consider this. Isnt it *just* possible that people who have been through the experience, lost all their weight actually have some wisdom to share about it? Its been a long and sometimes painful one for all of us, but those who have gotten to goal have often had that epiphany, faced some real truths about themselves and really learned the attitudes they need to succeed.

I can understand that people who get nasty when presented with those attitudes are often defensive and may not even realise they just arent ready to face those things for themselves. But I also believe there truly exists a fat mentality, that some people are very much excuse driven and whilst they can go through the motions, even so far as to have surgery, they truly dont want to make the real effort deep down inside.

So that comes out as resentment, anger, jealousy and plain bitchiness.

Its DEFINITELY not true of all overweight people. There are people on here, part way through their own journey, that you can just see they will be great successes no matter WHAT their size or goal weight is at the end. And there's others that may hit a number on the scale but have not truly changed and will continue to battle probably for the rest of their lives.

[SlimTarnishedDiva 1]

I think there are people who might feel the way MP does and send her messages letting her know they feel a certain way, and for her to know she isn't alone. I also feel that someone can fee this way, without being jealous. I can see where someone can keep hearing something over and over and then over dramatize the issue. And I can also see how other people's words, feelings, and concerns might hurt someones feelings.

I think someone should be entitled to their feelings and opinions and be able to express them. If you feel a certain way and have the stones to say then good for you... With that said if something annoys or bother a lot, stay away from it..

I did send MP a message asking her not to go, because it is great to have different opinions and not always hear the same thing. I think Chickie should be PROUD of her accomplishments and not be concerned what others say, but that is easy to say...I'm not the one being sent nasty messages...I saw it for myself and I am sorry someone did that to you. losingjusme posted behind them, but by the time I went to respond you'd closed your blog...

[Sue Magoo 71]

No way, you inspire me.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I wish everyone who has gotten down to goal would post a before and after picture. It upsets me when I hear that people with the band will only be able to lose 50% of their excess weight.

[Jachut 487]

And I think its precisely becuase of a lot of attitudes and outlooks that people dont lose 100%. Many of those in the 50% statistic are there becuase of the way they view things.

Denise, you can do it! Get your head right and you'll do it, there is absolutely NO reason why you will be one of those stuck at 50% loss. YOu have three choices. You can stop somewhere before 100% loss because you choose to, and your reasons may be very valid to you and nobody's business but your own, you've made a choice, weighed the consequences and decided that you're happy to make it to that place. You can stop somehwere before 100% lost because you tell yourself you choose to when in actual fact you're too scared or unable to face the real reasons keeping you there (and if that's your case you can deal with that by taking out your anger and frustration on those who have lost all their weight). Or you can put yourself through the wringer, fall on the wagon a million times, get back on, keep on going and one day you too will be lucky enough to be the target of nasty people resentful of you having been such a scorching success. But you can bear that because you'll be so freaking happy with yourself!

There's only one of those options I'd find totally unpalatable personally.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Iits become fairly obvious in the past few days that some people just dont want to hear about it or see it.

But I ask them to consider this. Isnt it *just* possible that people who have been through the experience, lost all their weight actually have some wisdom to share about it? Its been a long and sometimes painful one for all of us, but those who have gotten to goal have often had that epiphany, faced some real truths about themselves and really learned the attitudes they need to succeed.

I can understand that people who get nasty when presented with those attitudes are often defensive and may not even realise they just arent ready to face those things for themselves. But I also believe there truly exists a fat mentality, that some people are very much excuse driven and whilst they can go through the motions, even so far as to have surgery, they truly dont want to make the real effort deep down inside.

So that comes out as resentment, anger, jealousy and plain bitchiness.

Its DEFINITELY not true of all overweight people. There are people on here, part way through their own journey, that you can just see they will be great successes no matter WHAT their size or goal weight is at the end. And there's others that may hit a number on the scale but have not truly changed and will continue to battle probably for the rest of their lives.

I agree with this 100% - Well said :clap2:

[green 6]

Why we want to see the "NEW" you....

Oh, to tell you the truth there are very few pictures available of the before Green and I have no idea how to do the technical stuff with respect to the digital work. I recently bought a fine digital camera and it is sitting in my house gathering dust. :help: I am so completely blonde with that damn camera. :rolleyes

[green 6]

Jachut, I have really been enjoying your posts on this thread concerning weight loss and personality. (I always enjoy your posts.) Thanks, sez Green

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I'm done with this, but as a final note, I have received more than one email from people telling me they are tired of Chickie and her fascination with herself and her thinness.. They too feel she is using these skinny/thin comments personally so that others can jump in and validate how good she looks and how successful she has been. I too have said that I'm glad that you are healthy and got to your goals. Do you not understand what you read correctly?? Stop reading between the lines.. Oh, yes Chikie you are beautiful and please put back your pictures. As far as your blog, I have never and will never make any journal entries, because unlike others, I am not one of your worshipers and have better things to do than come on here especially for you.

You know I left lapband a year ago for this same very reason, nothing has changed.. Good luck to you all, yes, even Chickie. You do though should seek help for the issues you have with being the size you are (you are one freaked out chick, about being so skinny, that is!), whatever that size maybe.. You are way to obsessed with the whole skinny thing. :confused:

WTF??? Yes, maybe she is obsessed with being skinny, I sure as hell know I am. But what the hell is that any of your business? If you don't like attention that Chickie or anyone else gets, then stop posting plain and simple to me. I don't understand why you are being rude and agressive. No I am not going to call it passive as some have, I think you are wrong and I don't like to sugar coat a damn thing.

Yes, maybe she is obsessed (I don't think she is but to go along with your rant) what is that ANY of your business?

I can tell you that I am obsessed with being skinny, and you know who's problem it is? MINE, not yours or anyone elses! But do you know WHY I am obsessed with it? Because for almost 10 years I was trapped in a fat body. I was treated RUDE because I was fat, I had doors shut in my face, I had people assume I was lazy, I had people not look at me. DO YOU KNOW WHY? Because I was fat, nothing more. Nothing about me has changed and I am flooded with attention, and guess what RESPECT!! What a novel idea? SO I am sorry if you don't like that, but get over it. Chickie being skinny is obvisouly YOUR issue, not hers. She has self respect, and deserves attention.

SO if you don't like it, too bad. It really isn't your problem. Or for that matter Chickie's. Because I see nothing wrong with it!

[areellady 1]

This is so sad and pathetic. Why would someone work so hard to accomplish this and then feel like she can't share it with the world??? ESPECIALLY the lapband world????

My god people, get over yourselves and your big heads thinking you are better than everyone else. Chickie is an AWESOME role model and maybe if you got off your fat ass and did what she did, then maybe you wouldn't feel so bad about yourself.

I am sorry for being so harsh but shit, this is absolutely ridiculous that this woman can't share her photos because of fear of being ridiculed and harrassed. I know that when I get down to goal, there are going to be some outrageous pictures of me floating around.

Chickie, you are sooo awesome. Please put them back up.

[NeNe967 1]

Chickie,

You have been so inspiring to me. Put put the info back. I was trying to show my friend today about how successul lap band had been for you and a few others.

People like you give us folks that are just starting hope. Don't let the HATERS run you away. You are a MOTIVATOR for so many...like me.

[TheGh0st 9]

Quoted (nearly verbatum) from an original post I placed earlier today on a thread started by Mariposa:

I didn't originally intend on copying this post to multiply threads this but decided to go ahead after the comments that were made by others (I'm not trying to be vague just too lazy too scroll up for the exact names) about people sending PM's instead of posting comments for all to read. Technically this was posted for all to read just on another thread. Still here goes...

BEGIN QUOTE:

I'm just glad that other thread finally died. I was a lurker watching on like some vulture at a crash site. I'm not sure which bothers me most, that I kept lurking as a good thread spun helplessly out of control, or that I was too afraid to join in for fear I'd upset one or more of the many posters who I've grown to respect and count on here at lapbandtalk. Multiple times I'd start to compose a reply with the hopes to help calm the waters, then I'd erase it all saying to myself I am not the moderator and I'd probably only get shot for being the uninvited messenger of peace.

I strongly believe the initial posts were mis-interpreted on BOTH sides of a couple different issues (i.e. Skinny v. Obese & the whole Running thing) and the attempted apologies fell on the deaf ears of ALL parties causing everything to sadly spiral more and more out of control. Unfortunately, it is all too easy for most of us to only read and hold on to the apparent negative comments in a post, convinced they are written personally about us while blindly ignoring the comments that take great pains to say it is neither about us nor meant as an insult towards us.

Think about it. I've seen this pattern many times on different threads and different boards.

(The anatomy of a typical downward spiraling thread)

Post A-1 - Poster A's makes a comment on the thread .

Post B-1 - Poster B responds that they found Poster A's comment offensive.

Post A-2 - Then Party A tries to apologize and explain it wasn't intentional, but goes on to say they felt offended by a part of Poster B's response.

Post B-2 - Party B also tries to apologize and explain....

At this point Both parties have been offended, and Both parties have apologized for giving offense trying to explain they didn't mean to. In an ideal world this is where it should end. If either party wants the other to believe their apology was sincere then they should be equally willing to believe that the other posters apology was meant to be just as sincere. Instead it continues...

Post B-2 (continued from above) - in addition to the apology Party B goes on to re-emphasize how Party A's initial comments really were offensive and either says (or implies) that they do not believe it wasn't intentional.

Post A-3 - Now Party A feels the need to respond again further attempting to explain the offense was not intended but adding their own disbelief in Party B's apology.

Spiral Down -

Spiral Down -

Spiral Down -

Until everyone's attempts at apologizing/explaining get shorter and shorter as well as each parties tempers. All the while more and more people get involved on both sides turning it into an all out war where any chance of apologies being said or heard have been thrown out the window.

PS - for anyone that is interested (or willing to believe me) I'm not trying to insult anyone for having ever been sucked into one of these spirals OR CHOOSING SIDES on the issues started on the other thread. I'm just saying its sad when it happens. I'm not even saying I'm immune to it I fallen into the same spiral on a local Kansas City board a couple times, both as Poster A (accidentally starting the whole spiral) and as Poster B (being the first to feel offended then not accepting the apology)

END QUOTE

--- Actually I did PM Mariposa as well over a week ago. It was a message intended to lend her some moral support when it appeared she might leave LBT but I wouldn't say it was in support of either side. Though if anyone wants, I'd be glad to post it for all to read and judge me. Personally I feel it is sometimes better to PM someone than it is to post a message for all to read. Sometimes its easier to "hear" what someone is trying to say when you aren't feeling overly defensive about the fact everyone just got to see what was written to you. Mariposa isn't the first person on this board I've sent PM's to on issues that didn't initially involve me nor will she be the last. Each time I do I always give the recipient permission repost my comments publicly and offer to do it myself if they'd like me to. But to date no one has taken me up on the offer.

BUT PLEASE PLEASE ALL LETS JUST DROP THIS. Mariposa is no longer posting about these issues on this or the other thread, nor is Chickie. So why don't the rest of us just let it go so their (and ours perhaps) wounds can heal?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I believe it did end, a few days ago.