Petrified and indecisive

[JeezLouise91 55]

Congratulations on getting a surgery date!

What you are feeling sounds pretty normal. The mental part of of weight loss is a big part of bariatric surgery. Mixed emotions will surface as you go through stages of this process.

Pre surgery: Is the unknown outcome of how surgery day will be. Some experience excitement, self doubt, buyer's remorse, fear, questioning your decision. It's ok to be nervous. Know that you will have plenty of pain medication. The staff will take great care of you before, during and after your surgery.

First stages : The reality will hit after you wake up in the hospital. Concentrate on how much you deserve to get your health back. Know that you will be successful. Let yourself be excited about things to come.

Getting sick

You will get a new sensation of what full is. Follow your instructions from your surgeon's office. Chew slow, take your time eating, Wait 30 mins before you drink fluids. I have never vomited from overeating. Even though my stomach can tolerate any type of food. I still have to make the correct food choices.

Going out for drinks and meals.

Drinks..Once in awhile. Sometimes I'm just as happy ordering an iced tea. ( my friends love having a designated driver) Alcohol has high empty calories. I can get tipsy after one glass of wine. (I'm a cheap date) I really feel better without a drink. To each their own...

Once you get to real food stage eating in restaurants is still enjoyable. I look up the restaurant menu online. I want to be sure they have Items that fit my program. (Protein and vegetables and I'm good.) You will be amazed that small meals are satisfying. You will need a takeout box for the rest of the meal..lol

When wait staff look at you perplexed because you are not diving in and finishing your plate. When They feel the need to refill your glass when you are not drinking with your meal. When they continually ask if the food is ok. Just smile and say everything is great.....Enjoy the fact you feel full. This is how eating at restaurants is going to be. you get used to it..[emoji6]

Side note: It's strange to Look around at restaurants and reflect back at how much I used to eat.

You are right, Surgery is only a tool for weight loss. You have to really want this. You have to be willing to fight for this. Without the struggle there is no change or progress in life.

Whatever your decision is, I wish you the best.

Jenn

Thank you for being so informative, really appreciate it!

I guess it's not as much of a complete lifestyle change as I think it is in my head. Although I hate how much I can over think and worry I am glad I'm taking my time to decide and consider all the pros and cons.

The cheap date part sounds great lol!

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[JeezLouise91 55]

"Normal" is so subjective! What most people eat today is NOT normal, honestly! We live in the age of super-size-me. When you say a normal size, is that what you mean? Most women shouldn't be eating most restaurant size meals.

By about six months or a year out you will have the capacity you will have forever if you are a sleeve patient. It's the bypass patients who can stretch their pouch. Will you be able to eat an entire restaurant meal? Maybe. I can't. Do I want to? Nope.

That is a good point, most restaurant portions don't seem healthy these days [emoji26]

I guess I'm a little freaked out by being the first one to stop eating and having to bring it up all the time etc. Just feeling like I'm different! Have to remember that the reason I'm doing this is because I don't want to carry on though, and embrace the positive change instead of cowering away from it.

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[JeezLouise91 55]

I guess the question is why would you want to have more than three drinks? I didn't do that before surgery!

I guess some people are less botherd by it than others! I just love my nights out with my partner, we've been to a few weddings this year also and have enjoyed having a few and dancing and coming home late feeling like we've really let our hair down. Alcohol isn't everything, but this past year I've had a different outlook on it, and instead of drinking when I'm unhappy, I'm drinking when I'm in a good mood and am actually liking how it makes me feel! [emoji28]

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[JeezLouise91 55]

No apology needed,
I'm sitting here giggling to myself because your posts sound like me. I was so much the same at the beginning of this. (I'm three years out)
Normal sized food? Humm you will be amazed that food does not control you. You are full and satisfied on a salad plate sized meal. food is still a joy. You don't feel deprived. I think I eat normal after surgery. I didn't eat normal before surgery. That is how I got to 254 pounds. I'm now 140.
I still feel hunger at times. I can satisfy it with healthy alternatives. I also have to decide if its head hunger, eating out of boredom or emotional/stress eating.
Maintaining your weight after goal will be a balance...You can indulge but get things back on track when you have a gain. If I chose to have pie. I workout extra at the gym.
Big debates on stomach stretching. I'm not going to touch on that.
Reality is you can "eat around" any surgery and fail. If you graze - (Eats small meals all day) It's the same as not having surgery. You can get in many calories and make bad food choices.
Know that you will only get out of surgery what you are willing to put into it. None of us want to have regain. If you work your program you will be successful.

I'm glad I've made you laugh haha and even happier that it's because you can relate!

Sounds like you have had a really successful journey, congratulations!

I had no idea there was a whole debate on the stomach stretching, thanks for the heads up on future posts lol.

I seemed to do really well when I was put on the liquid diet a year ago as a sort of test to see if I could stick to it for surgery so that helps. I think it's 5 years down the line that concerns me, I guess by then I will be used to it and not care?

So much to think about, but all these comments have been super helpful.

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[BDME 138]

This is my first post so my apologies if I've posted in the wrong place!
This website seems to keep popping up while I frantically Google advice, so thought it would make sense to sign myself up.
On Friday I was accepted for gastric sleeve surgery, and now being accepted after trying to get to this point for over a year my nerves are telling me to back out [emoji20]
I'm 26, BMI 42, have polycystic ovary syndrome and apart from asthma no other health problems.
I've been battling with my weight for about 6 years now and decided to get surgery after my 3rd Misscarraige and learning that early menopause runs in the family. When I signed up for the surgery, I was in a bad place e.g. Smoking, drinking binge eating. But now that I've been off the cigarettes for a month and cut my alcohol intake by more than half, part of me is thinking if I can do what I've done so far, shouldn't I give the weightloss another go without the surgery?
The thought of being young and spending the rest of my 20s being miserable and not being able to go for drinks or meals with friends and family is something that concerns me. It sounds pretty pathetic when I should be thinking more about my health but I can't help but think about it!
Will life ever be the same again? Am I prepared mentally for it? My family and partner are 50/50 about it too.
Seeing as I don't have any major health problems and I'm fairly young, does that make the risks lower? The risks are also something that keeps spinning in my head
And my last question is if I'm this scared and indecisive about the whole thing does that mean I'm not ready yet?
I was told by my hospital that if I were to back out, I'd have to do the year long program all over again, and in my head probably won't be accepted again if I had mucked them about last time!
I'm sure (well I hope) I'm not the only one that has thought about backing out so if you were like me and decided to go for it or anything similar I'd love to hear your stories/thoughts. I get that only I can make this decision but some encouragement would be really appreciated!
Lou xx

We are the same age!!! I’m a newly wed and I have PCOS. I’m only 16 days post op and I’m fine. I went out with my best friend last night. It’s really only going to suck for a little bit. You will absolutely be able to go out with your friends and have a drink or 2. After about 8 weeks you can eat whatever you want just in smaller amounts. They advise you not to get pregnant for at least a year after so your body can adjust. I work with a woman who is 1.5 years post op and is carrying a healthy baby boy with no complications. I am so sorry for your losses though. That had to be tough. I would say talk it over with your doctor. But don’t think it’s the end of your social life. I follow a lot of VSG girls on Instagram. They live full exciting lives. Once you get past the healing stage it’s fine. I hope this helps!

[DropWt4Life 957]

I'm 45 now, and I wish that I made the decision to have surgery in my 20's. I have spent decades struggling to lose weight, only to always gain it back and more.

I am sorry that you have had miscarriages. That is a tough thing to go through even once.

Everyone is scared, and everyone has doubts. It is a big decision. This surgery is truly life changing, but it isn't for everybody. You've got to be ready for it. My two biggest fears were that:

1) I would have complications from surgery.

2) I would have to change my lifestyle. No more snacking, eating out or drinking socially...At least in the way I was accustomed.

3) If I gained the weight back or didn't lose after surgery, it was final. I would just have to live with the failure.

My doubts stemmed from my fears. I kept telling myself that I could do it on my own, and didn't need surgery...But realized that this was my brain telling me what I needed to hear so that I didn't have to conquer my fears...Especially, my fears of lifestyle change, and being a failure. The brain is a powerful thing. It has a way of making you rationalize the irrational.

Only a very small percentage of people have been able to lose and keep off a hundred or more pounds without surgery, but somehow, we keep telling ourselves that we can be in that small percentage...And maybe we can, but at some point, we must accept reality and do what must be done to get us there before we succumb to health problems.

I had never spent a night in the hospital until I had my surgery. I had never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or high blood sugar....until I did...Developed all three in the last year at age 44.

All three are normal now, thanks to my decision.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

[JeezLouise91 55]

We are the same age!!! I’m a newly wed and I have PCOS. I’m only 16 days post op and I’m fine. I went out with my best friend last night. It’s really only going to suck for a little bit. You will absolutely be able to go out with your friends and have a drink or 2. After about 8 weeks you can eat whatever you want just in smaller amounts. They advise you not to get pregnant for at least a year after so your body can adjust. I work with a woman who is 1.5 years post op and is carrying a healthy baby boy with no complications. I am so sorry for your losses though. That had to be tough. I would say talk it over with your doctor. But don’t think it’s the end of your social life. I follow a lot of VSG girls on Instagram. They live full exciting lives. Once you get past the healing stage it’s fine. I hope this helps!

Ah thank you hun believe it or not it gets easier with every one, luckily they were all fairly early too. And being the same age with pcos, I'll have to follow you [emoji16]

It really does sound like a great opportunity, think I will regret not having it.

Congratulations on the wedding and wishing you all the success with the surgery!




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[jess9395 5,449]

That is a good point, most restaurant portions don't seem healthy these days [emoji26]

I guess I'm a little freaked out by being the first one to stop eating and having to bring it up all the time etc. Just feeling like I'm different! Have to remember that the reason I'm doing this is because I don't want to carry on though, and embrace the positive change instead of cowering away from it.

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Eat slowly and you won't be the first to finish. Most people eat quite fast.

Also you will be surprised... people don't notice. Especially if everyone is talking and having a good time. If they do you say something like "how do you think I lost this weight?" "Wanting to keep the weight off I worked hard to lose it" etc.

[jess9395 5,449]

I guess some people are less botherd by it than others! I just love my nights out with my partner, we've been to a few weddings this year also and have enjoyed having a few and dancing and coming home late feeling like we've really let our hair down. Alcohol isn't everything, but this past year I've had a different outlook on it, and instead of drinking when I'm unhappy, I'm drinking when I'm in a good mood and am actually liking how it makes me feel! [emoji28]

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But more than three?

You have a good time without it, can't you?

If it's the buzz that makes you feel like you've let your hair down you will have that just on less.

Drink the drinks more slowly. Or alternate alcohol and another non alcoholic drink if you just enjoy having something fun your hand and sipping.

What part of what you said above is volume dependent?

[jess9395 5,449]

Just a thought... if you're concerned about not being able to consume what others do because it will make you seem "different"....

Aren't you different already being obese? Would you rather be different one way or the other?

I do agree with the person above who suggested therapy to see where your head is at. It sounds like t would be quite useful to you!

[JeezLouise91 55]

But more than three?

You have a good time without it, can't you?

If it's the buzz that makes you feel like you've let your hair down you will have that just on less.

Drink the drinks more slowly. Or alternate alcohol and another non alcoholic drink if you just enjoy having something fun your hand and sipping.

What part of what you said above is volume dependent?

More than 3 would be pretty dangerous after the surgery and I guess I will have to get used to that, but yes I hold my hand up and will honestly say I can have upto 7 drinks (not wine, too strong!) and still get home without stumbling through the door and just feeling happy/buzzed. My drink is jd and Coke, it just affects me completely differently to wine, I try to avoid wine if I can.

You make a good point though, I can always have none alcoholic drinks in between so I can keep up with everyone else and not end up getting rushed to hospital with alcohol poisoning lol.

I hope this post doesn't make me sounds like an alcoholic [emoji28] it's very rare I have that much but nights out that last about 6/7 hours do pop up every now and then and I'd like to be prepared for it!

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[JeezLouise91 55]

Eat slowly and you won't be the first to finish. Most people eat quite fast.

Also you will be surprised... people don't notice. Especially if everyone is talking and having a good time. If they do you say something like "how do you think I lost this weight?" "Wanting to keep the weight off I worked hard to lose it" etc.

Good advice thank you! Will keep that in mind if I go ahead. [emoji108]

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[jess9395 5,449]

I'm gonna be honest....

It's not the "I've had 6/7 cocktail nights..." that makes you sounds like an alcoholic. It's the PLANNING for them and feeling anxious that you might not be able to have more of them that does.

We've all had those nights. But it being so important that you make sure you can keep having them that worries me.

Also know that the amount of Alcohil in a jack and coke is way higher than in a glass of wine. Some people get sleepy or flushed or other weird thugs with wine but it's the tannins not the alcohol.

Now that said, I will warn you the coke may be an issue. Carbonation is tolerated differently by many people after the surgery. I still get stomach aches from it four years out. Some people do fine though.

[JeezLouise91 55]

I'm 45 now, and I wish that I made the decision to have surgery in my 20's. I have spent decades struggling to lose weight, only to always gain it back and more.
I am sorry that you have had miscarriages. That is a tough thing to go through even once.
Everyone is scared, and everyone has doubts. It is a big decision. This surgery is truly life changing, but it isn't for everybody. You've got to be ready for it. My two biggest fears were that:
1) I would have complications from surgery.
2) I would have to change my lifestyle. No more snacking, eating out or drinking socially...At least in the way I was accustomed.
3) If I gained the weight back or didn't lose after surgery, it was final. I would just have to live with the failure.
My doubts stemmed from my fears. I kept telling myself that I could do it on my own, and didn't need surgery...But realized that this was my brain telling me what I needed to hear so that I didn't have to conquer my fears...Especially, my fears of lifestyle change, and being a failure. The brain is a powerful thing. It has a way of making you rationalize the irrational.
Only a very small percentage of people have been able to lose and keep off a hundred or more pounds without surgery, but somehow, we keep telling ourselves that we can be in that small percentage...And maybe we can, but at some point, we must accept reality and do what must be done to get us there before we succumb to health problems.
I had never spent a night in the hospital until I had my surgery. I had never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or high blood sugar....until I did...Developed all three in the last year at age 44.
All three are normal now, thanks to my decision.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

Thanks for the honest response [emoji16]

Sounds like you basically felt exactly how I'm feeling now. It's so hard, I hate my brain, it loves over thinking even the smallest of things, so with something like this I feel like I'm going mad!

I haven't stayed overnight in a hospital either and also don't like the idea of it but I guess it's a very small price to pay compared to the benefits I'd receive.

How did u feel the day before surgery and how long ago have you had it? I assume it's going well if you are recommending!

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[BDME 138]

Ah thank you hun believe it or not it gets easier with every one, luckily they were all fairly early too. And being the same age with pcos, I'll have to follow you [emoji16]

It really does sound like a great opportunity, think I will regret not having it.

Congratulations on the wedding and wishing you all the success with the surgery!




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Thank you! My IG is @2infinityandbree_ond