Petrified and indecisive

[JeezLouise91 55]

This is my first post so my apologies if I've posted in the wrong place!

This website seems to keep popping up while I frantically Google advice, so thought it would make sense to sign myself up.

On Friday I was accepted for gastric sleeve surgery, and now being accepted after trying to get to this point for over a year my nerves are telling me to back out

I'm 26, BMI 42, have polycystic ovary syndrome and apart from asthma no other health problems.

I've been battling with my weight for about 6 years now and decided to get surgery after my 3rd Misscarraige and learning that early menopause runs in the family. When I signed up for the surgery, I was in a bad place e.g. Smoking, drinking binge eating. But now that I've been off the cigarettes for a month and cut my alcohol intake by more than half, part of me is thinking if I can do what I've done so far, shouldn't I give the weightloss another go without the surgery?

The thought of being young and spending the rest of my 20s being miserable and not being able to go for drinks or meals with friends and family is something that concerns me. It sounds pretty pathetic when I should be thinking more about my health but I can't help but think about it!

Will life ever be the same again? Am I prepared mentally for it? My family and partner are 50/50 about it too.

Seeing as I don't have any major health problems and I'm fairly young, does that make the risks lower? The risks are also something that keeps spinning in my head

And my last question is if I'm this scared and indecisive about the whole thing does that mean I'm not ready yet?

I was told by my hospital that if I were to back out, I'd have to do the year long program all over again, and in my head probably won't be accepted again if I had mucked them about last time!

I'm sure (well I hope) I'm not the only one that has thought about backing out so if you were like me and decided to go for it or anything similar I'd love to hear your stories/thoughts. I get that only I can make this decision but some encouragement would be really appreciated!

Lou xx

[jess9395 5,449]

Why would you be miserable and unable to go out to eat/drink with friends and family? I do it all the time.

Perhaps you can't drink alcohol for six months or a year... perhaps WHAT you eat when you go out will be different, especially at first, but you can go out!

And isn't that time to enjoy other people's company anyhow? You can do that no matter what you are eating.

[JeezLouise91 55]

You are right. It sounds like I'm over exaggerating everything once I re-read my post I'm such an over thinker.

I think I worry about not knowing how much to drink, and making myself sick or ordering the wrong foods while out in public and being sick!

Has this ever happened to you? When you go out for meals do you just order a small starter?

Thank you for the reply!

[tahoegirl96118 43]

I'm just under 5 weeks out and I'm feeling some of the same things you are, as are and were so many others. If you weren't having some of these thoughts you wouldn't be normal.

Life is full of "what if's". Only you can know for sure if this is the best path for you.

This is my surgeons take on things and I tend to agree. What ever I have been trying in the past has gotten me where I am today. What I choose to do for me and my future will get me where I want to be. He also brings up Oprah......He says "she has all the money in the world and all the resources available to her and she still struggles with losing weight on her own".

I wish you all the best on your journey and that you make the best decision for you.

[JeezLouise91 55]

I'm glad I'm not the only one, everyone I follow on Instagram seems a little nervous at the beginning of their story but yet so certain it's what they want to do! I definitely need to do some more thinking on this. Got to remember that it's permanent and not a magic wand but a tool. Thanks for sharing

[eden30 111]

I think it’s so great to do this while you are still young. Maybe chat to a consellor? Best of luck to you and I hope it all works out well

[JeezLouise91 55]

6 minutes ago, eden30 said:

I think it’s so great to do this while you are still young. Maybe chat to a consellor? Best of luck to you and I hope it all works out well

Thank you eden!

That's a good shout, something like a conseller or a life coach would probably be quite beneficial.

[KarenOR 180]

I turned 50 this summer. I spent 40 years yo-yo dieting and destroying my metabolism in the process. I just had to stop the madness. I went in thinking I would just use the nutrition services (after my stupid insurance wouldn't pay for a nutritionist because I wasn't diabetic or had other issues) but through the course of those 6 months came to realize that the only want to get it to stop was to have a more permanent tool. It was just gets harder and harder. I got sleeved on 9/27. It hasn't been a breeze but no major complications. I suspect I will wish I had doe it sooner.

[JeezLouise91 55]

Just now, KarenOR said:

I turned 50 this summer. I spent 40 years yo-yo dieting and destroying my metabolism in the process. I just had to stop the madness. I went in thinking I would just use the nutrition services (after my stupid insurance wouldn't pay for a nutritionist because I wasn't diabetic or had other issues) but through the course of those 6 months came to realize that the only want to get it to stop was to have a more permanent tool. It was just gets harder and harder. I got sleeved on 9/27. It hasn't been a breeze but no major complications. I suspect I will wish I had doe it sooner.

Yeah if I'm honest I hear alot of people say they wish they had it done sooner! When you say it wasn't a breeze, is there anything in particular you're finding super hard? Congrats on you're surgery, glad to hear you're happy with the decision!

[jess9395 5,449]

You are right. It sounds like I'm over exaggerating everything once I re-read my post I'm such an over thinker.
I think I worry about not knowing how much to drink, and making myself sick or ordering the wrong foods while out in public and being sick!
Has this ever happened to you? When you go out for meals do you just order a small starter?
Thank you for the reply!

Yeah, I made myself sick once wth too much shrimp. Only happened once.

Yes I order an appetizer or, more frequently, I share with my husband or kids. I'm a cheap date.

I would recommend not trying anything new for the first time post op while out, try it at home first. Eat slowly. You will know when to stop if you do. Most of us find we have a "tell" be it a burp, hiccup or (mine) a stomach gurgle. It says "stop" and if you listen you're fine.

You will be learning to navigate it early on, but by six months you will have it down! I promise!

[JeezLouise91 55]

Yeah, I made myself sick once wth too much shrimp. Only happened once.

Yes I order an appetizer or, more frequently, I share with my husband or kids. I'm a cheap date.

I would recommend not trying anything new for the first time post op while out, try it at home first. Eat slowly. You will know when to stop if you do. Most of us find we have a "tell" be it a burp, hiccup or (mine) a stomach gurgle. It says "stop" and if you listen you're fine.

You will be learning to navigate it early on, but by six months you will have it down! I promise!

Well that is a much better scenario than suddenly running off to the toilet! [emoji28]

The money saving does sound like a nice cheeky little bonus I must admit lol.

Could life ever be back to normal? (as in like a healthy person's lifestyle who didn't have the surgery) Say in 5 - 10 years will I be able to eat normal sized foods and have more than 3 drinks without getting too drunk? I've heard of failed surgerys where the persons stomach is back to its normal size but is it possible to have a normal sized stomach again without it being a fail? So many questions I apologize lol, thank you for being a big help. Xxx

Sent from my F5121 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

3 hours ago, JeezLouise91 said:

This is my first post so my apologies if I've posted in the wrong place!

This website seems to keep popping up while I frantically Google advice, so thought it would make sense to sign myself up.

On Friday I was accepted for gastric sleeve surgery, and now being accepted after trying to get to this point for over a year my nerves are telling me to back out

I'm 26, BMI 42, have polycystic ovary syndrome and apart from asthma no other health problems.

I've been battling with my weight for about 6 years now and decided to get surgery after my 3rd Misscarraige and learning that early menopause runs in the family. When I signed up for the surgery, I was in a bad place e.g. Smoking, drinking binge eating. But now that I've been off the cigarettes for a month and cut my alcohol intake by more than half, part of me is thinking if I can do what I've done so far, shouldn't I give the weightloss another go without the surgery?

The thought of being young and spending the rest of my 20s being miserable and not being able to go for drinks or meals with friends and family is something that concerns me. It sounds pretty pathetic when I should be thinking more about my health but I can't help but think about it!

Will life ever be the same again? Am I prepared mentally for it? My family and partner are 50/50 about it too.

Seeing as I don't have any major health problems and I'm fairly young, does that make the risks lower? The risks are also something that keeps spinning in my head

And my last question is if I'm this scared and indecisive about the whole thing does that mean I'm not ready yet?

I was told by my hospital that if I were to back out, I'd have to do the year long program all over again, and in my head probably won't be accepted again if I had mucked them about last time!

I'm sure (well I hope) I'm not the only one that has thought about backing out so if you were like me and decided to go for it or anything similar I'd love to hear your stories/thoughts. I get that only I can make this decision but some encouragement would be really appreciated!

Lou xx

Congratulations on getting a surgery date!

What you are feeling sounds pretty normal. The mental part of of weight loss is a big part of bariatric surgery. Mixed emotions will surface as you go through stages of this process.

Pre surgery: Is the unknown outcome of how surgery day will be. Some experience excitement, self doubt, buyer's remorse, fear, questioning your decision. It's ok to be nervous. Know that you will have plenty of pain medication. The staff will take great care of you before, during and after your surgery.

First stages : The reality will hit after you wake up in the hospital. Concentrate on how much you deserve to get your health back. Know that you will be successful. Let yourself be excited about things to come.

Getting sick

You will get a new sensation of what full is. Follow your instructions from your surgeon's office. Chew slow, take your time eating, Wait 30 mins before you drink fluids. I have never vomited from overeating. Even though my stomach can tolerate any type of food. I still have to make the correct food choices.

Going out for drinks and meals.

Drinks..Once in awhile. Sometimes I'm just as happy ordering an iced tea. ( my friends love having a designated driver) Alcohol has high empty calories. I can get tipsy after one glass of wine. (I'm a cheap date) I really feel better without a drink. To each their own...

Once you get to real food stage eating in restaurants is still enjoyable. I look up the restaurant menu online. I want to be sure they have Items that fit my program. (Protein and vegetables and I'm good.) You will be amazed that small meals are satisfying. You will need a takeout box for the rest of the meal..lol

When wait staff look at you perplexed because you are not diving in and finishing your plate. When They feel the need to refill your glass when you are not drinking with your meal. When they continually ask if the food is ok. Just smile and say everything is great.....Enjoy the fact you feel full. This is how eating at restaurants is going to be. you get used to it..

Side note: It's strange to Look around at restaurants and reflect back at how much I used to eat.

You are right, Surgery is only a tool for weight loss. You have to really want this. You have to be willing to fight for this. Without the struggle there is no change or progress in life.

Whatever your decision is, I wish you the best.

Jenn

[jess9395 5,449]

Well that is a much better scenario than suddenly running off to the toilet! [emoji28]

The money saving does sound like a nice cheeky little bonus I must admit lol.

Could life ever be back to normal? (as in like a healthy person's lifestyle who didn't have the surgery) Say in 5 - 10 years will I be able to eat normal sized foods and have more than 3 drinks without getting too drunk? I've heard of failed surgerys where the persons stomach is back to its normal size but is it possible to have a normal sized stomach again without it being a fail? So many questions I apologize lol, thank you for being a big help. Xxx

Sent from my F5121 using BariatricPal mobile app

"Normal" is so subjective! What most people eat today is NOT normal, honestly! We live in the age of super-size-me. When you say a normal size, is that what you mean? Most women shouldn't be eating most restaurant size meals.

By about six months or a year out you will have the capacity you will have forever if you are a sleeve patient. It's the bypass patients who can stretch their pouch. Will you be able to eat an entire restaurant meal? Maybe. I can't. Do I want to? Nope.

[jess9395 5,449]

Well that is a much better scenario than suddenly running off to the toilet! [emoji28]

The money saving does sound like a nice cheeky little bonus I must admit lol.

Could life ever be back to normal? (as in like a healthy person's lifestyle who didn't have the surgery) Say in 5 - 10 years will I be able to eat normal sized foods and have more than 3 drinks without getting too drunk? I've heard of failed surgerys where the persons stomach is back to its normal size but is it possible to have a normal sized stomach again without it being a fail? So many questions I apologize lol, thank you for being a big help. Xxx

Sent from my F5121 using BariatricPal mobile app

I guess the question is why would you want to have more than three drinks? I didn't do that before surgery!

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

46 minutes ago, JeezLouise91 said:

Well that is a much better scenario than suddenly running off to the toilet!

The money saving does sound like a nice cheeky little bonus I must admit lol.

Could life ever be back to normal? (as in like a healthy person's lifestyle who didn't have the surgery) Say in 5 - 10 years will I be able to eat normal sized foods and have more than 3 drinks without getting too drunk? I've heard of failed surgerys where the persons stomach is back to its normal size but is it possible to have a normal sized stomach again without it being a fail? So many questions I apologize lol, thank you for being a big help. Xxx

Sent from my F5121 using BariatricPal mobile app

No apology needed,

I'm sitting here giggling to myself because your posts sound like me. I was so much the same at the beginning of this. (I'm three years out)

Normal sized food? Humm you will be amazed that food does not control you. You are full and satisfied on a salad plate sized meal. food is still a joy. You don't feel deprived. I think I eat normal after surgery. I didn't eat normal before surgery. That is how I got to 254 pounds. I'm now 140.

I still feel hunger at times. I can satisfy it with healthy alternatives. I also have to decide if its head hunger, eating out of boredom or emotional/stress eating.

Maintaining your weight after goal will be a balance...You can indulge but get things back on track when you have a gain. If I chose to have pie. I workout extra at the gym.

Big debates on stomach stretching. I'm not going to touch on that.

Reality is you can "eat around" any surgery and fail. If you graze - (Eats small meals all day) It's the same as not having surgery. You can get in many calories and make bad food choices.

Know that you will only get out of surgery what you are willing to put into it. None of us want to have regain. If you work your program you will be successful.