Have you experienced jealousy?

[Berry78 4,261]

I do wonder if people are remembering sizing from 20 years ago. (Man I feel so old..)

In 1996, I weighed 215 and squeezed into an 18.

In 2008, I got down to 205, and squeezed into a 16.

Now, I'm 208, and can squeeze into a size 12? What is wrong with this picture? And no, it's not that I'm more muscular or dense, or anything. I can tell that I'm no smaller than I was either of those other times. Its just the clothes have changed.

So, what used to be medium at size 8 and 10.. now it's somewhere between 4 and 8. (I think.. maybe someone down there can chime in).

[Berry78 4,261]

mylighthouse.. congrats, and GOOD JOB!! You have done amazingly!

It's unfortunate my post showed up under yours.. I totally was responding to one above.. and we were typing at the same time. (Even though I'm wearing a 12 in my brand, in every other brand I'm a 14.. so we're the same size..same height, and within 2lbs of each other!). Feels great doesn't it? I love how life just seems to FIT better.

[eden30 111]

I am only 1 week post op so the jealousy over weight loss has yet to be seen. But in general life I have experienced jealousy. People who were mad I got married and they were yet to find a mate. I find it best to ignore it. It’s not worth it and does not contribute to your overall happiness. But sometimes it is fun to flex for the haters. Like if you’re mad now let me post some more pics so you can throw on a cape and be SUPER MAD. [emoji24][emoji24]

Haha [emoji846]

[eden30 111]

The ladies gave good advice with their replies to this topic. Very interesting.
I believe that I am definitely dealing with my mother being jealous and my friend as well.
They both have reacted to my weight loss in different ways.
My mother lives in the same town as I do, so we see each other often and talk a few times a week. Mom has been overweight since she was 40 and she's 73 now. I have watched her try and try to lose weight over the past 30 years, and she never does. I have never said anything negative to her. I would never tell her "you need to lose weight". However, over the years as my weight went up and down, she would tell me that I needed to lose weight, and I remember one time, she told me "you are fat", and I remember being shocked, because I weighed 160 at the time and I'm 5'7". I just ignored it, but it really hurt my feelings.
Another thing that happens time and time again over the last 25 years is that when I lose enormous amounts of weight and get down to a normal size, she never, not even once in my life has given me encouragement or a compliment. It is really something else. At first, I didn't understand, but recently, after losing 134 pounds since last summer, I clued in to the idea that she might be jealous. I mean, afterall, she has never been able to lose weight. At all. I don't let this bother me anymore. Sometimes people can't say nice things because of their own insecurities.
My friend who lives out of town, is a very nosey person. She always wants to know how much weight I've lost and what size jeans and tops I am wearing. She is over 300 pounds, which is where I started. When I told her this last time I talked to her that I started in a size 28 pants and am now in a 14, and from a 5X top to a 10/12, she said "ahhh, okay". She asked, so I told her, and that is all she said.
I guess I was expecting my own mother and my close friend to say WOW or good job, or something nice. lol
But I am 46 years old and I've learned I shouldn't really put expectations on people. Plus, I'm not looking for compliments, although they are nice to get.
Anyway, that is my experience, but the good advice really came from the other ladies.
Good luck with your surgery in a couple of weeks! I'm sure you're looking forward to it. It is a fun journey, but can sometimes be a difficult journey too, but it is so worth it.

Thank you! Yes it must be difficult, like you say, you’re not asking for compliments but a good job wouldn’t go astray. Congrats on your weight loss you sound like a champ [emoji846]

[eden30 111]

I do wonder if people are remembering sizing from 20 years ago. (Man I feel so old..)
In 1996, I weighed 215 and squeezed into an 18.
In 2008, I got down to 205, and squeezed into a 16.
Now, I'm 208, and can squeeze into a size 12? What is wrong with this picture? And no, it's not that I'm more muscular or dense, or anything. I can tell that I'm no smaller than I was either of those other times. Its just the clothes have changed.
So, what used to be medium at size 8 and 10.. now it's somewhere between 4 and 8. (I think.. maybe someone down there can chime in).

I think that’s really true!!!!

[BDME 138]

I do wonder if people are remembering sizing from 20 years ago. (Man I feel so old..)
In 1996, I weighed 215 and squeezed into an 18.
In 2008, I got down to 205, and squeezed into a 16.
Now, I'm 208, and can squeeze into a size 12? What is wrong with this picture? And no, it's not that I'm more muscular or dense, or anything. I can tell that I'm no smaller than I was either of those other times. Its just the clothes have changed.
So, what used to be medium at size 8 and 10.. now it's somewhere between 4 and 8. (I think.. maybe someone down there can chime in).

Oh snap is this accurate? I was born in 1991 so I didn’t get to see the shift. That’s kind of crazy

[Berry78 4,261]

6 minutes ago, BDME said:

Oh snap is this accurate? I was born in 1991 so I didn’t get to see the shift. That’s kind of crazy

[GeTnBackuP 192]

This is a very interesting topic, thank you for all of the great responses. For me, when I was 14, 15 years old I was thin and athletic, typical cute teenager. I had a sister that was eleven years older and I ended up living with her. All of her older friends and their boyfriends came to our home frequently. The men all perved on me (this was not welcomed or reciprocated) and all of the girlfriends hated me for it. Not for anything I ever did but for how I looked and how their boyfriends reacted to me. I ate and ate to stifle the rejection. Years later I saw one of those women that was so mean to me and she said “you’re fat now so I dont hate you anymore”. This experience ruined my young life in so many levels. Yes, through the course of my life I’ve picked up other baggage to emotionally eat about but I have finally done the couch time with therapists to get to this point. My surgery is in nine days and I am looking forward to feeling better about my appearance and getting physically healthy. People are cruel for a variety of reasons, we’re all sick. It’s my time to let it go and stop taking it out on myself.

[mylighthouse 782]

55 minutes ago, Berry78 said:

mylighthouse.. congrats, and GOOD JOB!! You have done amazingly!

It's unfortunate my post showed up under yours.. I totally was responding to one above.. and we were typing at the same time. (Even though I'm wearing a 12 in my brand, in every other brand I'm a 14.. so we're the same size..same height, and within 2lbs of each other!). Feels great doesn't it? I love how life just seems to FIT better.

Thank you, berry. You have done amazingly too, especially in such a short amount of time!

I do see that our stats are almost identical, even our starting weight. I am just squeezing into a 14 jeans, they are pretty snug. I have always been smaller on top, at the shoulders and waist, but big boobed. It is funny, in my 20's and 30's, everything stayed pretty tight and now, in my mid 40's, things are sagging and the only firm area is my waistline. I had open hernia surgery a few months ago that stemmed from a colon resection 2 years ago. Because of the constant pain, I have not been able to exercise AT ALL since my sleeve in November. I really think that has left me a saggy droopy mess. Below my waistline, I have an enormous bulge of fat. Lol I hope I can get rid of it someday. I sure do love stretchy blue jeans!

And it really is crazy how sizes have changed over the years!

Yes, it does feel great to have lost the weight. Best decision I could have made!

[eden30 111]

This is a very interesting topic, thank you for all of the great responses. For me, when I was 14, 15 years old I was thin and athletic, typical cute teenager. I had a sister that was eleven years older and I ended up living with her. All of her older friends and their boyfriends came to our home frequently. The men all perved on me (this was not welcomed or reciprocated) and all of the girlfriends hated me for it. Not for anything I ever did but for how I looked and how their boyfriends reacted to me. I ate and ate to stifle the rejection. Years later I saw one of those women that was so mean to me and she said “you’re fat now so I dont hate you anymore”. This experience ruined my young life in so many levels. Yes, through the course of my life I’ve picked up other baggage to emotionally eat about but I have finally done the couch time with therapists to get to this point. My surgery is in nine days and I am looking forward to feeling better about my appearance and getting physically healthy. People are cruel for a variety of reasons, we’re all sick. It’s my time to let it go and stop taking it out on myself.

I’m so glad you told that story. People can hurt us in so many ways. I’m so happy for you. Many many best wishes for your surgery.

[eden30 111]

Thank you, Berry. You have done amazingly too, especially in such a short amount of time!
I do see that our stats are almost identical, even our starting weight. I am just squeezing into a 14 jeans, they are pretty snug. I have always been smaller on top, at the shoulders and waist, but big boobed. It is funny, in my 20's and 30's, everything stayed pretty tight and now, in my mid 40's, things are sagging and the only firm area is my waistline. I had open hernia surgery a few months ago that stemmed from a colon resection 2 years ago. Because of the constant pain, I have not been able to exercise AT ALL since my sleeve in November. I really think that has left me a saggy droopy mess. Below my waistline, I have an enormous bulge of fat. Lol I hope I can get rid of it someday. I sure do love stretchy blue jeans!
And it really is crazy how sizes have changed over the years!
Yes, it does feel great to have lost the weight. Best decision I could have made!

Congrats! I think I’m going to feel it’s the best decision I ever made too [emoji846]

[PrayingForWeightLoss 337]

I've dealt with other peoples' jealousy by simply not dealing with it at all. Why waste time and energy addressing someone else's problem? Jealousy is the other person's issue, not mine.
My friend's various family members have commented (never in my presence) that I'm "too skinny" and lost too much weight.
I'm actually in a normal weight range per BMI charts and not "too skinny," but many people in the African-American community view plus-sized women and thick bodies as ideal.
However, I look at the source: all of the people who insist I'm "too skinny" are badly overweight or obese. It's no coincidence that none of the naysayers have been normal-weight.
Nonetheless, the best way to deal with jealousy is to live your life in a fulfilling way that sparks interest. In other words, live well and let the jealous people stew in their own pettiness.

This is so spot on. I worked with a lady who was over 300lbs,I guess, and people used to comment on her weight and how she "let herself go." Some of these girls knew her from way back. She later had gastric bypass and lost a massive amount of weight. Guess what, the same people started saying she had lost too much weight and "looked old." I thought she looked gorgeous then. Well done Introversion on your weight loss. Your body, your weight, your health, your choice! Keep your great work up. Happy for you. I can easily bet that you are beautiful.

[eden30 111]

This is so spot on. I worked with a lady who was over 300lbs,I guess, and people used to comment on her weight and how she "let herself go." Some of these girls knew her from way back. She later had gastric bypass and lost a massive amount of weight. Guess what, the same people started saying she had lost too much weight and "looked old." I thought she looked gorgeous then. Well done Introversion on your weight loss. Your body, your weight, your health, your choice! Keep your great work up. Happy for you. I can easily bet that you are beautiful.

I agree [emoji16]

[LMARTINEZ70 6]

I know some of the little Asian stores sizes run smaller. Sorry if I offended anyone

[eden30 111]

45 minutes ago, LMARTINEZ70 said:

I know some of the little Asian stores sizes run smaller. Sorry if I offended anyone

Oh I didn't see anything you said. But yes Asian store sizes def run smaller! I don't think you've offended anyone unless I missed something! 😃