Looking for a Mentor!

[Mstlawrence 36]

I've gone through most of the pre-op program, and the only thing left really is to be scheduled... and I'm looking for a buddy who has already gone through this! I'm a little bit nervous, but more excited. A mentor to ask questions of, get advice from, share experiences with, etc.

Let me know if you're interested! Happy to connect!

[Roadrunner 1 10]

Hi,

Im two months post op. I can answer a fair amount of questions. I understand exactly where you are in the process. I dont know if you are looking for someone who is further along or not. If I can help feel free to reply. Im really new on here. I've been doing plenty of research lately on healthy recipes etc. Im also doing really well with my weight loss. I can say I personally wish I would've scheduled mine sooner.

[Mstlawrence 36]

That would be great! I'm meeting with my surgeon on Friday, and should have my date scheduled next week. I'm definitely looking for someone a bit ahead of me in the process to discuss challenges and frustrations and Celebrate small victories. Thanks for connecting!

[Roadrunner 1 10]

My pleasure. I should've gotten on here sooner, been really busy. I celebrated a real victory lately reaching a weight I had not seen in years. Being positive and taking the process as a bit of a challenge will help. Im not saying there werent tough days. You'll go through a variety of emotions. I also cheated and glad I went to a support group meeting because of the connections I made there. I am heading into month number 3 and loving my progress. Also dont put too much emphasis on a number. I was at the best shape of my life years ago and full of myself somewhat. Write down any questions you've got ahead of time. I spoke to mine so quick I still had more questions I had not thought of and he was out the door. Get as organized as you can be. I keep a food and drink log and started with a pedometer well before the procedure.

[Mstlawrence 36]

That's awesome! Congratulations! My program is very well-structured, so I have plenty of appointments and different types of doctors to ask questions of. I had started tracking my food/exercise with my Apple watch about four months ago, so I'm already in some good habits, but need to increase my exercise (which I assume will get better as I become less encumbered by my weight). I lost about 110lbs on my own a few years ago, and I felt incredible. I LOVED the gym. I'm heading in that direction again, and I can't wait to see the results once it's paired with surgery.

I'm interested in what you said about going through a variety of emotions--what did/does that mean for you?

[Roadrunner 1 10]

Thanks. My next major goal is getting under 300. I may get there before the year is out. I actually dont love the gym. I like parks more since I've gotten a little older. Wow you're awesome. 110 is an impressive achievement. I mean you may go through being on track while still not enjoying going to a dinner out where others are ordering whatever they want. You may not like certain foods as your diet progresses since you may not be allowed to eat solid foods for a fair amount of time. I say that because for some people their tastes can change. What you might have enjoyed alot before you may not like as much. What food means to you may change some. Overall its a physical and mental process. Its not all one-sided. Simply putting in the work and going through the procedure is simply the start. Some days may be better than others.

My first month was amazing. When my body started getting used to it all and my progress stopped for a couple of weeks I was considerably frustrated and somewhat down. So for me its a combo of knowing, reassuring that you made a decision to improve your life and that the procedure is the tool is very important. As a guy I'm not always into my feelings so the women at the support groups tend to express some of what they've gone through. I get the sense that it is more emotional to them. That isn't to say that I do not express my feelings, its more about the way I view things at times. I apply more of a logical approach. I accept that some people can reach their physical goal(s) whereas I know I must work hard to get there and maintain. Its the way it is at the same time that isn't always easy to go through. Some emotions are also tied or rooted in diff behaviors, so I started the pre-op diet knowing I need to change specific behaviors. Also that its is better for me to apply a utilitarian approach to food (meaning I use it for fuel and to nurture myself and/or others).

Your experience may be similar to mine in some ways and differ in others. There is also adjusting your body image. Inside I can still see that overconfident great looking guy that wasnt really used to getting as much attention from women so it was a bit unusual. Everyone has at least one thing they may not like about themselves, so when you add the stretch marks that will show more after the procedure, and deal with how your skin responds (if it goes back in place as much as you want it to or not) it can become one more thing to focus on. Some things may take a little getting used to. Sorry I got longwinded, I guess Im more enthusiastic since Im getting closer to my goal(s).

[Mstlawrence 36]

Never apologize--it's all incredibly helpful information. It's great that you're feeling so solid in your journey! Once you catch the wave, you have to ride it out, right?

While I lost the weight initially, but I eventually gained most of it back. I've always been on the heavy side, so even at my lowest, I still felt like I was 300+lbs. I know that will definitely be a struggle for me. I've heard a lot about the changes in taste, and I was very surprised by that at first. It makes me a bit nervous that I won't like some of the Protein Drinks that I've come to love. Though Quest has about a thousand flavors, so hopefully I won't run out of ones I like

I'm nervous that I won't lose as much as I want to. Or that my body image will never catch up to reality. That's a big one. I'm afraid that I'll always see the big person and never be satisfied with the amount that I've lost. Ideally, I'd like to get down to about 180lbs. It's not the smallest, but I'd be happy with that. I'm very lucky to have an amazingly supportive partner who has been learning about all of this with me as I go, and we talk about things as they come up. That's been a big relief in all of this. I guess I don't feel as much pressure to do something like skin removal surgery if it's actually not that uncomfortable, because my guy loves me for me. But then again, I may be wildly unhappy with the excess skin post surgery, so I have no real clue.

Most everything I'm nervous about are the big question marks. The things that I have no way of predicting. That's probably why they have you do so much prep work and have you attend the group sessions, eh? The surgery itself doesn't seem scary--it's everything else after it that gets me nervous!

[Roadrunner 1 10]

Ride it all the way or like Martin Lawrence says til the wheels fall off. I def understand where you're coming from. I did not like the way I looked during diff points while I was younger and fighting to stay skinnier as I rebelled against more sensible choices. Take a few pics as you slim down and hopefully you will get used to being smaller as you catch up. If I hit 300 this year that will be more than 120 total reduction. When my nutritionist asks if I feel the diff, I remind her I've been this weight before, its the making sure I dont see it again that motivates me in some ways. The things you dont know yet is a bit a you being more in your own head than need be and maybe a little of the unknown of how you will be. I can say I more pleased with my image than previously, while not being a fan of the loose skin. So theres a give and take to it. You can read into it more than necessary and def can't get into your own way. I think you are fortunate to be with someone who is very supportive. Im single so its diff for me. In most ways you can not predict exactly how you or things will be. I say set yourself up to be the person you want to be. As long as you are doing what you can to get there that is what matters. One of the docs on my surgeons team said "oh you probably wont lose that much with the sleeve". I said to myself you dont know me and laughed to myself. Most men do not see the numbers I did in the first 4 weeks post op.

So heck with what others say unless thay are supportive or constructive critics. Also dont get angry with the scale like afunny tv show I like where as one characters is working incredibly hard to lose weight and starts yelling at the scale lol. Do not weight yourself more tha once a week on the same day every time, unless you are trying to narrow down how effective a major change is or was. For example I worked outside more and sweated alot so I weighed in early to see if it made a diff. Def go to the groups. I met one guy who did the sleeve and is older than be by maybe 10 years and he went down 200 lbs. I feel there is a false myth that the bypass is so much more effective than the sleeve. I meet more mature women that say in group they go through a tough time, it tends to be that more of them are bypass patients. Get a couple of books that reinforce positive body image as well as others that go into all aspects and how to modify your view. It will probably help.