On a train to Crazy Town

[pikachu.gray 4]

That's what goes through my mind, that I've boarded a train to Crazy Town. I mean, am I really going to have more than half of my stomach removed? Voluntarily!? It seems insane! And when they tell me things like "you can't drink within 30 minutes of your meal time", and "no caffeine or alcohol ever again", I think, who can live like that? SO the big huge doubt creeps in...even if I can get through the horrible pain of surgery, and the horrible liquid diet (because those are just temporary), is this surgery going to RUIN MY LIFE? While it's true, I've struggled with my weight over the years, and now that my doctor says I have PCOS, I no longer believe I can lose the weight on my own. And it's also true that the weight affects my quality of life; I don't get out and do things I would do if I were normal weight. And I have some health problems that come from my weight, the worst of which is my knee. However, on the flip-side of the coin, I'm not suicidal! LOL. I mean, I don't miss the things I can't do all that much. I've adapted. I'm not a happy fat person, but I also don't want to be a miserable thin person for the rest of my life, or WORST (and here's another big doubt creeping in) a miserable ONLY LESS FAT person for the rest for the rest of my life! Part of me still thinks I won't be able to get down to a weight, even with the surgery, that I will be happy with. My primary care doctor says I have like no metabolism at all. And right now, I don't think I even eat all that much. So what if I get this Horrible Surgery, go through all this pain, limit myself for the rest of my life so that I can never have a margarita, or a Starbucks again! And after all that, I'm still the fattest girl in the room? Or I still can't fit into Designer clothes that only go up to size 12? Should I stop the train and jump off now? I have to do 6 months of classes and counselling prior to surgery for my insurance, and October will be month 2. Can anyone help me feel better about this?

Edited September 29, 2017 by pikachu.gray

[Berry78 4,261]

With your stats, you have a good chance at ending up around 145lbs. If you are only 5'0, then at that weight you might not be "thin". But dropping 50lbs would make you much healthier, lighter on your feet, and into smaller sized clothing. How low you go, most of the time, is up to you.

With PCOS, it IS more of a challenge, but surgery will give you your best shot at losing some weight and keeping it off.

Long term eating, although smaller quantities, is just as satisfying for me (I'm 6 months out.. so not terribly long term). But then, I never had a food addiction, either.

[Berry78 4,261]

Oh, and I drink caffeine every morning, and indulge in the occasional glass of wine. Life goes on.. but in order to keep the weight off, MOST of the time you have to watch what you eat (forever).

[annette15 11]

Ok so crazy tram just about sums up my life! I’m 2 weeks out drank 3-4 cups of coffee to start my day followed by a few espressos to keep me going. I took Advil/Aleve like it was candy for all of my aches and pains. I also told myself I was content at the weight I was and that’s what life dealt me. Until my best friend confided that he was going to do the sleeve. I heard his news and felt a twinge if jealousy. I have been on every diet known to man to over-the counter meds as well as prescribed diet pills and nothing worked for me. I fell off the wagon and went back to my old habits of eating.
I got all of the info I could from online and people I knew who had the surgery, then I made an appointment. I was that person who cried at he first appointment. I had a realization that finally I’m doing something that will help me. I want to be around for my kids/future grandkids and to start enjoying life. I always felt like I was being stared at and spoken about. I was never comfortable in my own skin.
The months since the first appointment and all of the pre op clearance fell into place. All along the way I thought something was going to stop my from reaching that date on the calendar.
I was sleeved on 9/18 had my 1st appointment on Wednesday and I was down 12lbs the first week. I had my ups and downs the first week feeling tired shaky and drained. The pain was not bad at all and the shakes was because I was dehydrated. I was back to work in a week.
Was it tough—not really more of an adjustment. I had my doubts post op on getting fluids in, did I make the right decision, what the heck did I do to myself.
But as the days fly by I really am feeling better.
And do you know what I have had no coffee or Advil.
I have no desire for coffee right now because I’m trying to get to fluids in. I’m sure it will change, but I feel so much better.
The aches and pains in my joints have really disappeared.
Sorry to go on for so long, everyone has a different story and a different reason for having the surgery. You need to weight the pros and cons. Think about why you started the journey in the first place and decide from there.
My pre op course was a lot shorter than yours, however my friend’s is as long as yours. He goes 11/3 and I will be there for him every step of the way.

[pikachu.gray 4]

2 hours ago, Berry78 said:

With your stats, you have a good chance at ending up around 145lbs. If you are only 5'0, then at that weight you might not be "thin". But dropping 50lbs would make you much healthier, lighter on your feet, and into smaller sized clothing. How low you go, most of the time, is up to you.

With PCOS, it IS more of a challenge, but surgery will give you your best shot at losing some weight and keeping it off.

Long term eating, although smaller quantities, is just as satisfying for me (I'm 6 months out.. so not terribly long term). But then, I never had a food addiction, either.

Thanks for the reply. I don't think ending up at 145 ibs. would be worth going through the surgery and giving up so much in my life. I would still be unhappy, and probably more unhappy than I am now. I can remember when I was 145 lbs, I was ashamed of my weight and I went to Jenny Craig (of course didn't work long term). But at that weight, I was desperate enough to join a program. You've given me something to think about.

[pikachu.gray 4]

1 hour ago, annette15 said:

The months since the first appointment and all of the pre op clearance fell into place. All along the way I thought something was going to stop my from reaching that date on the calendar.
I was sleeved on 9/18 had my 1st appointment on Wednesday and I was down 12lbs the first week. I had my ups and downs the first week feeling tired shaky and drained. The pain was not bad at all and the shakes was because I was dehydrated. I was back to work in a week.
Was it tough—not really more of an adjustment. I had my doubts post op on getting fluids in, did I make the right decision, what the heck did I do to myself.
But as the days fly by I really am feeling better.
And do you know what I have had no coffee or Advil.
I have no desire for coffee right now because I’m trying to get to fluids in. I’m sure it will change, but I feel so much better.
The aches and pains in my joints have really disappeared.

Thank you for the reply. I can identify with alot of what you said, so maybe I would have an experience like you. I'm encouraged by you reporting that you don't want coffee (can't imagine myself not wanting coffee) and that the pain was not bad. Congratulations on your success so far and thanks again for telling me about your experience. You gave me some things to think about.

[annette15 11]

Good luck with whatever your decision is. It is a huge life changing event and you need to make whatever decision is right for you. Good luck and keep me posted. If you have any questions I got s lot of good advice on this site.

[Different 16]

I can understand the second thoughts and challenges. I went through those thoughts all the way through the process. I'm two months post op and overall, I feel great. Down about 85 lbs from my heaviest. The benefits of being lighter outweighs (a bit of a pun there) the challenges the journey brings....in my experience.

I have coffee now every morning. Doesn't make me have any ill effects. I also have the occasional glass of wine. Now I do recommend not trying these things right away...you want to heal up before doing too much. In reality, wine and coffee didn't even sound appealing until much later in the process for me.

I recommend not getting too hung up on what you're giving up...it's not the same type of temptations post op as it was pre op. Everything feels so different post op that it's like trying everything over again and you find new things u like and realize you might not like old things you used to.

These are only my experiences...everyone can experience and tolerate things differently.

Good luck with your journey.

[pikachu.gray 4]

1 hour ago, Different said:

I can understand the second thoughts and challenges. I went through those thoughts all the way through the process. I'm two months post op and overall, I feel great. Down about 85 lbs from my heaviest. The benefits of being lighter outweighs (a bit of a pun there) the challenges the journey brings....in my experience.

I have coffee now every morning. Doesn't make me have any ill effects. I also have the occasional glass of wine. Now I do recommend not trying these things right away...you want to heal up before doing too much. In reality, wine and coffee didn't even sound appealing until much later in the process for me.

I recommend not getting too hung up on what you're giving up...it's not the same type of temptations post op as it was pre op. Everything feels so different post op that it's like trying everything over again and you find new things u like and realize you might not like old things you used to.

These are only my experiences...everyone can experience and tolerate things differently.

Good luck with your journey.

Wow, you are only 2 months post up and down 85 pounds? That is amazing! Congratulations. What an accomplishment! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am more encouraged. It also helps to know that you had some of these same thoughts prior to surgery too. So I am not so different.

[Sherry Rice 184]

We all have doubts and for me it can change minute to minute. I worry about all the same things but I try and think of the statistics. Statistically we are almost guaranteed to lose the weight. Exercise boosts your metabolic rate too. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

10 hours ago, pikachu.gray said:

I am more encouraged.

Well, please stay on the train and work after your surgery to achieve an even more desirable outcome.

Remember, that there's no food or drink that tastes as good as slim feels! Not a seven-ounce steak with baked potato and pumpkin; not a shot glass of lovely Licor 43 from Spain.

The train ride you're on is your best shot at helping yourself. Stay strong. Be resilient.

[LillieDuFran 127]

We get on the crazy train at birth on my family, lol.

My surgery is 10/5. I've found the pre-op quite okay, and am down 14 lbs. I've had surgeries, including open heart, double mastectomy, and removal of most of large colon. That said, my doctor's patients, whom I've met, say Tylenol did the trick, and walking got rid of has pains.

I've found lots of amazing recipes for all phases of the post op on Pinterest. That encourages me that I can create and enjoy my post surgery foods, and be a part of life.

Perhaps moving past words like "horrible" you could find adventure, new ideas, new possibilities with amazing health.

What could you do with better health? A trip, dance lessons, horses....
We go where our mind does! Wishing you the best!

Sent from my XT1575 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Killian 265]

On 9/29/2017 at 3:54 PM, pikachu.gray said:

That's what goes through my mind, that I've boarded a train to Crazy Town. I mean, am I really going to have more than half of my stomach removed? Voluntarily!? It seems insane! And when they tell me things like "you can't drink within 30 minutes of your meal time", and "no caffeine or alcohol ever again", I think, who can live like that? SO the big huge doubt creeps in...even if I can get through the horrible pain of surgery, and the horrible liquid diet (because those are just temporary), is this surgery going to RUIN MY LIFE? While it's true, I've struggled with my weight over the years, and now that my doctor says I have PCOS, I no longer believe I can lose the weight on my own. And it's also true that the weight affects my quality of life; I don't get out and do things I would do if I were normal weight. And I have some health problems that come from my weight, the worst of which is my knee. However, on the flip-side of the coin, I'm not suicidal! LOL. I mean, I don't miss the things I can't do all that much. I've adapted. I'm not a happy fat person, but I also don't want to be a miserable thin person for the rest of my life, or WORST (and here's another big doubt creeping in) a miserable ONLY LESS FAT person for the rest for the rest of my life! Part of me still thinks I won't be able to get down to a weight, even with the surgery, that I will be happy with. My primary care doctor says I have like no metabolism at all. And right now, I don't think I even eat all that much. So what if I get this Horrible Surgery, go through all this pain, limit myself for the rest of my life so that I can never have a margarita, or a Starbucks again! And after all that, I'm still the fattest girl in the room? Or I still can't fit into Designer clothes that only go up to size 12? Should I stop the train and jump off now? I have to do 6 months of classes and counselling prior to surgery for my insurance, and October will be month 2. Can anyone help me feel better about this?

I feel the exact same way and thank you for putting into words how I feel.

That said, whenever I have 2nd thoughts, or the "am I gonna be happier a little thinner " the answer is yes because of this thread:

https://www.bariatricpal.com/index.php?/topic/219760-Sex...-Oh-My-God...-Sex!

Sex... Oh My God... Sex!

So, my surgery is Oct 10 :-)

P.s that thread is in The Guy's Room, so feel free to read..but refrain from posting.

Enjoy!

Edited September 30, 2017 by Killian