Do you think it's rude to correct another's grammar?

[marnie723 0]

I have 2 retired teachers as in-laws who speak several languages and they constantly correct other people's grammar. I think it is extremely rude when someone is not in a classroom & correcting grammar. For example, while we were at a restaurant my In-laws corrected our waiter on his pronunciation of a french meal. My husband does it often too when he hears "it don't matter" instead of "doesn't" (or seen instead of saw)

I think everyone has their own accents & ways of speaking or using expressions that makes us all different. I find correcting someone who isn't asking for your 2 cents only makes them feel awkward & self-conscious or even more likely annoyed. :angry

[Gone4Now 4]

Yes! I agree that it's rude. Especially if you're normally a very well spoken/written individual, and you just make a mistake because you're rushing.

A few of my friends are always rushing and when they send emails there is ALWAYS a mistake. I can bet on it. But, I'd never say anything to them. 1) They are adults and not children, and 2) I know them to be very intelligent people. I have edited some of their emails before when they've asked me to, but NEVER if they don't ask for advice.

That said, I do correct my daughter and her friends. She's 10 years old and needs the correction because she doesn't KNOW.

[Wheetsin 714]

I correct people, sometimes, depending on the situation. Grammar and pronunciation are different, so I can't say yes or no concretely.

I don't correct the way a stranger pronounces something, unless it's unintentional. For example, if someone says something, and I really don't understand what they're saying... I think about it, it dawns on me, and I might say, "Oh, you mean blahblah! I wasn't sure what you meant at first." I guess technically it's a correction, but it's not intended for that purpose. But when the southern gentleman at our car shop etlls me he "changed the Earl" - I wouldn't correct that.

I will correct my husband's grammar, mainly because English is not has native language and I assume that mistakes are unintentional. Sometimes he will use poor grammar to irritate me, and I will correct him to irritate him right back. When my in-laws, who can be VERY hard to understand, use poor grammar -- I wouldn't even think about correcting them. Unless they specifically ask me what it should be, out of their own efforts to learn. I correct my parents, etc. but it's understood to be of good nature.

Now to add a third level - people online. I do not correct people online to be mean (even though it's often taken that way), but when someone has repeatedly used poor grammar or spelling, I tend to assume the really don't know any better, and will try and correct it politely as a way to say "hey, just in case you didn't know, it's this not that."

There have been times where I've literally not understood what someone has types, and the best I can do is ignore it, ask them to clarify, or try to "guess" what they've said and hope I'm right. It's kidn of like talking to someone with a very thich accent you can't decipher... what do you do?

[VegasGrace 1]

Yes, it's rude.

There's always folks who 'know' more than others...but there are folks who 'know' more than them. Key is to be humble about what you may know and if the opportunity comes for them to share their knowledge...fine. But forcing it upon others is rude.

Other examples are obese people... is it rude for a thinner person to 'correct' someone who's eating? Of course. But given the right setting, could a thin person and an obese person share...and the obese person learn.... definitely.

There is a time and place for everything.

[Ang1982 4]

Hmm, good topic. I personally do not make a point to correct people unless asked. And I most definitely do not correct strangers. One person who I correct in both written (whether it be email or instant messages, etc.) and in conversation is my best friend as she has dsylexia. She has asked that if she says something thats mispronounced or spelt wrong that I just quickly interject and correct her. She does not take offense to it as it is a way to remind her/help her.

My grammer and punctuation is not super fanstastic either but usually does not require any correcting as when I proof read letters, documents, etc. I can usually pick up where I missed something and fix it.

To me it would be very hard to correct someone (especially someone you don't know) without coming off as rude or arrogant.

[mrspruett 0]

It is definitely bad manners. I think GraceUtah used a good example. We get pretty offended when a thin stranger in the supermarket corrects our eating habits by looking in our cart. It is the same thing. People do not like strangers correcting them. Most people do find it offensive.

[*JASMINE* 1]

I think it's rude. I also find that it is done very frequently on this forum when someone is having a heated debate. It's kind of petty, if you ask me. Usually shows that the person is getting desperate and has nothing else to offer in the debate. It also says to me that a person is trying to insult my intelligence.

[mrspruett 0]

I think it's rude. I also find that it is done very frequently on this forum when someone is having a heated debate. It's kind of petty, if you ask me. Usually shows that the person is getting desperate and has nothing else to offer in the debate. It also says to me that a person is trying to insult my intelligence.

I totally agree. It is used in an argument online to insult the other person's intelligence.

[Wheetsin 714]

This is tricky because it's also one of those things that, online, is taken under a totally different assumption than how it's meant. Even in arguments/debates/whatever.

We had a thread going a while ago where one of the posters would post things that I literally could not understand. I mean - it would "say" one thing, but that would make zero sense... so you'd assume the poster meant to say something else, but for the life of you, you had no idea what. Once, when I asked the poster to clarify what was being said, I got a backlash of "you know what I meant you're just splitting hairs" (paraphrasing). But that wasn't the case at all. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the person was trying to say. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I stated this - or others stated they had read the messages the exact same way that I had and had the same problems - the person insisted that it was being done to ridicule. Their mind was already made up, so what can you do? This seems to happen a lot online.

Often I see people saying they're a "looser." MOST of the time I don't say a thing. I mean - being able to type has nothing to do with being able to spell - we all know that! But if I see someone repeatedly saying "I'm a looser," "I want to loose weight," how much weight did you loose" -- then I begin to assume that maybe the person really doesn't know the difference, and I might point it out in as nice of a way as I can.

A lot of this probably boils down the personality. If I repeatedly make the same mistake, I don't mind someone pointing it out to me. IMO, I'd much rather someone point out the mistake so I can stop making it, then continue making it. It wouldn't hurt my feelings in the least. I can't even imagine why it would hurt my feelings. And as such, I wouldn't necessarily stop to think about doing it for someone else. My gut level reaction is that, if anything, they'll appreciate that someone told them. I have to stop and think beyond that.

I see it kind of like walking around with broccoli in your teeth. Yeah, maybe it's a little embarassing for someone to point it out to you, but would you rather have someone tell you, or would you rather walk around all day and have no idea until you see it in the mirror? (or don't see it, and never know)

[*JASMINE* 1]

I see it kind of like walking around with broccoli in your teeth. Yeah, maybe it's a little embarassing for someone to point it out to you, but would you rather have someone tell you, or would you rather walk around all day and have no idea until you see it in the mirror? (or don't see it, and never know)

I completely agree with you there. I'd rather know. I guess the delivery is what's important. If I made a grammar mistake, and someone felt compelled to inform me, I'd much rather get PMd about it then it brought up on a thread that has nothing to do with grammar. Same for the broccoli in my teeth. I'd much rather be pulled aside then informed about it in front of a crowd of people.

But it just comes down to the motive of the person who is correcting me. Online, you really can't determine what someone's motive is. I really don't know you, but from what I've read so far, you seem like a kind hearted individual with only good intentions. Not everyone on this forum, or in life is like that, I'm afraid.:nervous

[marnie723 0]

Your right & I know pronunciation & grammar are 2 differrent things but in my defence I have to type very quickly on the computer(2 kids climbing in my lap) so sometimes my thoughts are just a jumble or interrupted mid-thought and I don't always re-read what I wrote. In my example of correcting a waiter's pronunciation I should also point out that my MIL then launches into "le & la" this is french and how what the waiter had said was wrong. I was crawling under the table. He didn't look like he was appreciating the lesson. I think when you are correcting kids of course it's ok, they are learning. When an adult corrects another adult I think it's rude. I wouldn't point out that someone at a dinner party was using the wrong fork.

I think in the big picture it doesn't really matter & it doesn't make you any less or more of a person. I guess I find my in-laws a little stuffy sometimes & it just irriates me to no end.

[marnie723 0]

what I've written.....ha ha

[anonemouse 1]

This is tricky because it's also one of those things that, online, is taken under a totally different assumption than how it's meant. Even in arguments/debates/whatever.

We had a thread going a while ago where one of the posters would post things that I literally could not understand. I mean - it would "say" one thing, but that would make zero sense... so you'd assume the poster meant to say something else, but for the life of you, you had no idea what. Once, when I asked the poster to clarify what was being said, I got a backlash of "you know what I meant you're just splitting hairs" (paraphrasing). But that wasn't the case at all. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the person was trying to say. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I stated this - or others stated they had read the messages the exact same way that I had and had the same problems - the person insisted that it was being done to ridicule. Their mind was already made up, so what can you do? This seems to happen a lot online.

Often I see people saying they're a "looser." MOST of the time I don't say a thing. I mean - being able to type has nothing to do with being able to spell - we all know that! But if I see someone repeatedly saying "I'm a looser," "I want to loose weight," how much weight did you loose" -- then I begin to assume that maybe the person really doesn't know the difference, and I might point it out in as nice of a way as I can.

A lot of this probably boils down the personality. If I repeatedly make the same mistake, I don't mind someone pointing it out to me. IMO, I'd much rather someone point out the mistake so I can stop making it, then continue making it. It wouldn't hurt my feelings in the least. I can't even imagine why it would hurt my feelings. And as such, I wouldn't necessarily stop to think about doing it for someone else. My gut level reaction is that, if anything, they'll appreciate that someone told them. I have to stop and think beyond that.

I see it kind of like walking around with broccoli in your teeth. Yeah, maybe it's a little embarassing for someone to point it out to you, but would you rather have someone tell you, or would you rather walk around all day and have no idea until you see it in the mirror? (or don't see it, and never know)

I ditto that. I mean, I've done it before, but I generally only do it when I sincerely can't understand what the person is attempting to say. I did it just the other day, when the person posting just posted a random combination of subjects (or at least, it seemed that way to me) and apparently expected us all to read her mind to discover the meaning. I was literally thinking, "What the hell does that mean?" Seriously, I was literally scratching my head. I even PMed some of the other people in the thread, to ask if they understood. They didn't, either. I was nice about it, too, when I eventually brought it up to the poster. I just asked for a little clarification and for her to put the words in a sentence, so that I knew what she was trying to say. I got jumped on. Some people are a little TOO sensitive about this stuff.

I mean, I don't ask for a lot when I debate. I don't care if someone mispells something or if their grammar is bad. I do want to be able to figure out what they are attempting to say, though. And I don't think I should be jumped on by that person, when I've politely asked for clarification.

PMing them wouldn't work in some cases. There are people here that don't check their PM box more than once a week. You aren't guaranteed to get a response. And when they are pressing you for a response to their post, it's a lot nicer to ask them for clarification than it is to tell them, "I'm going to ignore your post because no one can understand what you are trying to say."

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I am nobody to correct grammar, period. I send important stuff to Lauren and she proofs it before I send it.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am nobody to correct grammar, period. I send important stuff to Lauren and she proofs it before I send it.

You do not have bad grammar though.

Bad grammar goes through me like fingernails on the chalk board. Most people in this town that I live in have horrible grammar. I want to correct them, but I would drive myself insane if I corrected all of them.

The one that kills me the most is

"we was at the store yesterday" Luckily, all of my close friends were not born and raised here, so they speak correctly.