Do you think it's rude to correct another's grammar?

[anonemouse 1]

i think its intensely rude. I dont think there is a justification that makes it less rude or arrogant.

On the rest of the board, I completely agree with you. That's why I have never, to my knowledge, corrected anyone on the support pages. In Rants and Raves, though, one of the major components of the forum is debate. And there can be no debate if someone's posts are either completely unreadable or not understandable. At that point, it's not rude to point that out.

[bitteroldhag 0]

As an English prof, I have to say that I only correct the grammar of my students, so that they will have a shot at a good job. I never, never correct the grammar of anyone else. As to pronunciation, I read a lot and don't know how to pronounce all the words I read. My friend, who is British, pointed out that we are always mispronouncing words that we read. Frankly, I'd rather have people read and mispronounce the words than not read at all. But I do have to tell my students that says things like "It don't matter no way" or "I done done it" is likely to impact their employment interviews. My aunt once said, "I done done it" and was very interested that "done done" went together like that. I had the class not to tell her that it should have been "have done it." People speak different dialects and we should cut them some slack for that. I speak eastern Okie so I "make" a soft drink and I'm always "fixing" to do something. But correcting other people's speech is a sign of bad manners and a tendency to be pedantic. I just hate pedants.

[lizrbit 0]

bitter, im originally from oklahoma too!

Between that, and an intense love for Jack Keroac and ee cummings, i have a fondness and respect for people who express themselves without the restraints of 'proper' grammar or even, as likely observed, correct spelling.

A friend of mine sent me a thing recently that had all the words in the paragraph spelled correctly but the letters were scrambled except for the first and last letter. Each word was still completely recognizable. We are a symbol oriented people. I think we understand each other much better than we would like to admit.

Having said that, can we talk a bit about what we give ourselves permission to do to other people online that we would NEVER do in person????

and why???

it bothers me a great deal, to see someone go off online knowing they would NEVER consider behaving that way in public, in person, one on one. To come up with a justification to continue behaving inappropriately is just giving oneself permission to continue to behave that way. I have an eye opening idea....

what if...

by continueing to do that, you slowly let that aspect into your life in a real person way. slowly, you dont even notice that you start to treat people like that in real life, especially if you spend MANY HOURS of your day online instead of outside living your life. As time passes, eventually you are known for behaving that way even when you are outside and not on the computer, and people forget the kind good tempered even centered person you once were.

just food for thought....

[ShineNSta 0]

I have 2 retired teachers as in-laws who speak several languages and they constantly correct other people's grammar. I think it is extremely rude when someone is not in a classroom & correcting grammar. For example, while we were at a restaurant my In-laws corrected our waiter on his pronunciation of a french meal. My husband does it often too when he hears "it don't matter" instead of "doesn't" (or seen instead of saw)

I think everyone has their own accents & ways of speaking or using expressions that makes us all different. I find correcting someone who isn't asking for your 2 cents only makes them feel awkward & self-conscious or even more likely annoyed. :angry

I think its rude if you don't know the person..if its a friend or family its ok to do it in modoration if you're sensitive to how they feel about it. I correct people's grammar if they're friends or family because that sort of stuff really bugs me - the only person I don't do it so much with is my brother-in-law who is maltese because he's grown up with his family speaking all sorts of colloquialisms and sometimes the way someone speaks is just who they are.

[anonemouse 1]

bitter, im originally from oklahoma too!

Between that, and an intense love for Jack Keroac and ee cummings, i have a fondness and respect for people who express themselves without the restraints of 'proper' grammar or even, as likely observed, correct spelling.

A friend of mine sent me a thing recently that had all the words in the paragraph spelled correctly but the letters were scrambled except for the first and last letter. Each word was still completely recognizable. We are a symbol oriented people. I think we understand each other much better than we would like to admit.

Having said that, can we talk a bit about what we give ourselves permission to do to other people online that we would NEVER do in person????

and why???

it bothers me a great deal, to see someone go off online knowing they would NEVER consider behaving that way in public, in person, one on one. To come up with a justification to continue behaving inappropriately is just giving oneself permission to continue to behave that way. I have an eye opening idea....

what if...

by continueing to do that, you slowly let that aspect into your life in a real person way. slowly, you dont even notice that you start to treat people like that in real life, especially if you spend MANY HOURS of your day online instead of outside living your life. As time passes, eventually you are known for behaving that way even when you are outside and not on the computer, and people forget the kind good tempered even centered person you once were.

just food for thought....

I don't know. There isn't anything online (well, other than pop-ups) that irritates me more than seeing an entire post that is nothing more than IM-speak or one that doesn't contain any form of punctuation whatsoever. I know we've all seen them here. The way I deal with those is that I ignore them completely. I bet a lot of other people do too, judging from the other posts in Rants and Raves about pet peeves. So to me, that's a little bit like shooting yourself in the foot. On one hand, they are trying to post to a message board and get responses from people. On the other, they are making their posts in a way that is very difficult for many people to decipher, reducing their chances of getting responses. I just don't get it.

And I really think that I haven't said anything online that I wouldn't say to a person in, well, person. I don't make unfounded or unnecessary attacks on someone. Anything I have ever said on this site, I would be willing to say to that person, if I ever met them.

Yes, I think that people who willingly enter into debates in RnR are fair game. The whole point of a debate is to argue and converse with other members. If those other members can't read or understand your posts for love or money, you shouldn't be debating. I'm not talking about a few misspellings or grammar mistakes. Those are understandable and, in most cases, a person can read around them. I'm talking about whether or not someone can actually read the post. If a post in a debate makes literally no sense whatsoever, I don't see any reason to not tell the person that made the post. It's not rude, it's participating in a debate. But honestly? I still haven't said anything in this forum that I wouldn't say to someone in person. If I'm debating someone in person, and they give me a non-answer or an answer that doesn't make any sense, I let them know.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Having said that, can we talk a bit about what we give ourselves permission to do to other people online that we would NEVER do in person????

and why???

Yeah, why is that Lizrbit?

[phyllisc 0]

Yes it is absolutely rude. Bad spelling has nothing to do with a person's intelligence. Albert Einstein was a bad speller. Just about everybody needs an editor, so why let it bother you if there are mispelled words and poor grammar in informal writing? Condescending people who correct others bother me.

[lizrbit 0]

@was: i cant speak to why they do it, I can only guess. i think its because the people doing it know they cant treat people in real life that way, then use this as a venue to stomp on people to make themselves feel better. These are the same people that probably hurt small animals if given the chance.

i just know that its not self contained. It leaks into the life they might one day actually have and they will find themselves alone again very soon if they exhibit that behavior to others. if they see themselves as "really nice people" outside of their online persona, they have a harsh reality waiting them. Like rage, its self perpetuating and it leaks into other areas of their lives.

@phyllisc: right on. me too.

@Laurend: i wholeheartedly disagree. No one, under any circumstances, should be fair game. What are you, a hunter? :mad:

[anonemouse 1]

@was: i cant speak to why they do it, I can only guess. i think its because the people doing it know they cant treat people in real life that way, then use this as a venue to stomp on people to make themselves feel better. These are the same people that probably hurt small animals if given the chance.

i just know that its not self contained. It leaks into the life they might one day actually have and they will find themselves alone again very soon if they exhibit that behavior to others. if they see themselves as "really nice people" outside of their online persona, they have a harsh reality waiting them. Like rage, its self perpetuating and it leaks into other areas of their lives.

@phyllisc: right on. me too.

@Laurend: i wholeheartedly disagree. No one, under any circumstances, should be fair game. What are you, a hunter?

Lizrbit, you seem to have a very short memory of your own posts here. You've been guilty of the exact things you've accused others of. Do you hurt small animals? Does the attitude that you've shown in the above post and others leak into other areas of your life? Inquiring minds would like to know.

I'm not saying the person themselves are fair game, but their posts are. I have every right to ask that the person I am debating make their posts in an understandable way. I don't care if they misspell something or don't use correct grammar, but I would like them to actually answer my questions when they post replies to me. When I ask someone why they believe the way they do, I expect to get a reason, not a list of subjects.

[anonemouse 1]

You know, I may criticize someone's posts occasionally, but at least I don't imply that they are psychopaths or make not-so-veiled references to their character. I think that is going way beyond outrageous. You have the nerve to say that we go too far and that we are rude if we criticize someone's spelling and grammar (which rarely happens, btw), and then have the nerve to imply that we torture animals?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

@was: i cant speak to why they do it, I can only guess. i think its because the people doing it know they cant treat people in real life that way, then use this as a venue to stomp on people to make themselves feel better. These are the same people that probably hurt small animals if given the chance.

i just know that its not self contained. It leaks into the life they might one day actually have and they will find themselves alone again very soon if they exhibit that behavior to others. if they see themselves as "really nice people" outside of their online persona, they have a harsh reality waiting them. Like rage, its self perpetuating and it leaks into other areas of their lives.

Thank you for the honest answer. I did think you would be able to supply me with the facts.

[lizrbit 0]

it was a chance to flame!!!

well i hope you feel better!

laurend, i dont have a short memory. I not only would i have said everything to you ive ever typed to you in person, but anytime youd like. Im NOT a "very nice person" or a different perosn offline. I have no illusions...

i meant the hunter reference in humor. Im sorry you took it personally. I wondered if you would.

How many of these things do you guys get into? and second...why? cant you find someone to argue with in person? its much more satisfying. Leave the small animals and people who just want to rant alone, okay? they aren't necessarily talking about YOU.

[lizrbit 0]

for about five minutes, i thought...honestly thought, that we were having an intelligent online conversation and even, with the exception of me disagreeing with laurends one point, thought that otherwise we were agreeing on the observation for the most part.

i wasnt speaking about you. If you see yourselves in the post, i cant help that, but i wont antagonize it. You are obviously flamed. ill unsubscribe.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

for about five minutes, i thought...honestly thought, that we were having an intelligent online conversation and even, with the exception of me disagreeing with laurends one point, thought that otherwise we were agreeing on the observation for the most part.

i wasnt speaking about you. If you see yourselves in the post, i cant help that, but i wont antagonize it. You are obviously flamed. ill unsubscribe.

I don't agree with you. I think Lauren saw something in your post that she feels you have done. That's not flaming, that IS discussion.

Calling you horrible names, SCREAMING AT YOU, accusing you of things that are absolutely untrue, making claims of "someone" doing something while implying it was you when it wasn't at all... that would be flaming. Thus far this is a discussion. I suspect that you merely don't care for the opinion that you have indeed done about the very same thing you complain of.

One thing that people to tend to confront on R&R is the passive aggressive line 'o crap some folks use and honestly, you do that. You do it a lot and then sit back and claim you were not speaking of the person you know full well you were referring to. You try to write in a way that makes fun of another person, the entire thread knows full well who you refer to, and when confronted you sit back and play innocent claiming you have no idea what anyone is talking about.

That doesn't fly well on R&R because here, it is confronted head on when it happens.

[anonemouse 1]

it was a chance to flame!!!

well i hope you feel better!

laurend, i dont have a short memory. I not only would i have said everything to you ive ever typed to you in person, but anytime youd like. Im NOT a "very nice person" or a different perosn offline. I have no illusions...

i meant the hunter reference in humor. Im sorry you took it personally. I wondered if you would.

How many of these things do you guys get into? and second...why? cant you find someone to argue with in person? its much more satisfying. Leave the small animals and people who just want to rant alone, okay? they aren't necessarily talking about YOU.

Well, it's nice that you admit that you aren't a very nice person. It's funny, though, that you never mentioned yourself in your comments. It was always "those people." Guess you are "those people," too, huh?

I didn't take your "hunter" reference personally. In fact, I ignored that entire comment.

And I STILL can't figure out why people can't understand that this is the RANTS AND RAVES FORUM. It's where you come on this site to RANT AND RAVE. It's fun, it's a stress reliever, and it's where anything goes. Why is that so hard to understand? No one here (well, almost no one, apparently) holds anything said against the person that says it. It's completely separate from the rest of the board. You come here to argue, to let off steam, to have fun. It's nothing more and nothing less.