Hit me with your best dad jokes

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

A polar bear enters a new bar in his home town and speaks with the bartender (whom he's never met before) ...

BARTENDER: What'll it be, pal?

BEAR: Please get me a gin ... err ...

The bartender steps back, turns, then opens a bottle from the shelf behind him and pours a shot over two ice-cubes.

He motions to place it in front of the polar bear.

BARTENDER: There you are!

BEAR: And tonic, please.

The bartender clicks his tongue with frustration at the late change of order.

BARTENDER: Hey fella, why the big pause?

BEAR: No idea. My dad had 'em too. It must be hereditary.

[StephersSweet 78]

On ‎9‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 8:18 AM, Rainbow_Warrior said:

BARTENDER: Hey fella, why the big pause?

BEAR: No idea. My dad had 'em too. It must be hereditary.

DYING!!!! I laughed so loud at my desk.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

  

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

More groaners Sunday morning.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

Even more ...

These ones based on show biz names ...

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

An old favourite ...

You've all heard of WWJD ... "what would Jesus do?"

It's also "what would Jesus drive?"

The bible clearly implies that Jesus owned a Honda.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

These are the last couple to have arrived this weekend ...

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Gosh and I just thought it was the apostles who were in one accord. Got one I heard from my STNA days when I was working in a health care facility. Pastor comes visit Brother Smith one of his retired,deacons from his church. He says are,you saying Grace before meals as,good example? Ah yes he says and gives the Bible location. Pastor goes home, looks it up and it reads "Jesus Christ yesterday today and tomorrow always the same. " This from same gentleman who said " you got to love nursing home chicken.They fix it 6 different ways on 5 different days and it all tastes just the same." He was a hoot!

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[monalyssa33 138]

My mom is the queen of bad jokes and I have a little back story to one of her jokes. A few years ago my mom took me to the ER because I was suicidal. The ER doctor made a comment about it being 2:30 pm and my mom said, "What's a dentist's favorite time of day?" I'm sitting in this chair like, wow this doctor is probably thinking the wrong person needs to be evaluated. Then my mom delivers the punchline, "Tooth-hurty! Get it?!?" I'm pretty sure the doctor had no idea how to respond to that. I laugh about it now because I'm not depressed anymore and it is funny now.