Hit me with your best dad jokes

[StephersSweet 78]

C'mon we all know some, I'll start.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

So many ...

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

And ...

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

Found some extras ...

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

Just to round out the baker's dozen ...

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

A pilot in a plane flying over the ocean had to ditch as the plane engines failed.

He saw a ship and headed towards it hoping to be saved if he ended up nearby.

Sadly, he misjudged and went straight into the ship. He went through the upper deck and every deck below and, finally, right through the hull of the ship causing it to sink.

With the passengers swimming towards the lifeboats, he resurfaced and joined them. The others were totally amazed at how he could have survived this and asked how he did it.

He said, " I've been through hardships before."

[_Mini_Me_ 133]

How much did the pirate's earrings cost?...



A buccaneer [emoji23]

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

5 minutes ago, Maggie_ said:

A buccaneer

JUDGE: We are searching for more evidence.

PIRATE CAPTAIN: There is none.

JUDGE: Well, firstly, where are your buccaneers?

PIRATE CAPTAIN: On me buccan head!

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

[karen_marie 220]

When you're trying to be cheesy, but everyone around you is laughtose intolerant.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

I don't trust those trees. They seem a little shady.

What video game do you play on the toilet? Call of Doody.

Why did the birdie go to the hospital? Because it needed tweetment.

Didi you know I used to be a banker? Meh, I lost interest.

I started a band named "999 Megabites" but we haven't gotten any gigs yet.

A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair...and people

[StephersSweet 78]

A termite walks into a tavern and says "is the bar tender here?"

[carolinaskies 27]

A Sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve food here

[StephersSweet 78]

How do you make holy Water? You boil the hell out of it.

What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO