What Post-Sleeve Rules Do You Break?

[bellabloom 2,467]

I was reading, just today, about re-feeding anorexics. Basically, for them to gain weight, a typical 2000 calorie diet isn't enough to make significant changes to their weight. They need to eat 3500 and 4000 calories to make much headway. This is because the first 2000 calories are used just to continue living.. the extra is needed to make repairs and gain weight. Bella, even eating whatever she wants, is still restricted by the size of her stomach and her rule of stopping when satisfied. She isn't eating over 3000 calories a day, therefore can't gain a ton of weight... yet. I believe that once her body has healed the starvation damage, (may take years with limited calories), then she'll gain weight like the rest of us. Assuming "satisfied" comes a smidge too late

As for what "most bariatric patients" do or don't do with rules.. you are probably right, summerset.. I just know that at some point, in order for us to be morbidly obese, we couldn't have been following rules. Whether burnout, or lack of attention, or a rebellious attitude.. whatever reasoning was behind it.. doesn't really matter... cuz here we are!

The key to long term success is going to look different for each of us. But ultimately, we all are working with the same fundamentals. If we eat too many calories, we will put on weight. (how many is "too many" will vary wildly between us). If we find we are eating too many and the scale goes up, then we have to change something so we aren't eating too many any more.

Much easier when we've gained 10lbs, then 100.

I’m not anorexic nor am I being refed. I eat about 1500-2500 calories a day depending. But you are correct anorexics do eat more to gain weight. I’ve never taken that approach, even when I was in treatment for anorexia as my stomach could not possible hold that much food.

I just eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I don’t over eat and have no desire to do so. That’s what keeps my weight at maintainence. Following the post bariatric rules wasn’t working for me for numerous reasons. Getting into discussions on how metabolism and intuitive eating works wasn’t the point of my post.

What I’m saying is that long term these rules became unbearable for me. Am I alone? I doubt it.

Follow the rules if you can. Many can’t. It’s not black and white anyway. Lots of people find what works for them in different ways. I do break rules and sometimes I pay for that. Have I gained weight? No. Do I believe you need to follow the rules to avoid weight regain? NO.

But if you go back to how you were eating before surgery yes you could definitely regain. I don’t eat the way I did before surgery, not at all. I eat in a very sustainable moderate way. That’s the point of my post. I don’t follow diet rules because I’ve found another way to maintain.

[summerset 5,265]

On 14.11.2017 at 9:31 PM, Berry78 said:

Bella, even eating whatever she wants, is still restricted by the size of her stomach and her rule of stopping when satisfied. She isn't eating over 3000 calories a day, therefore can't gain a ton of weight... yet. I believe that once her body has healed the starvation damage, (may take years with limited calories), then she'll gain weight like the rest of us. Assuming "satisfied" comes a smidge too late

Jeez, I hope you didn't want to come across as smug and bitchy as that sounds.

Quote

I just know that at some point, in order for us to be morbidly obese, we couldn't have been following rules. Whether burnout, or lack of attention, or a rebellious attitude.. whatever reasoning was behind it.. doesn't really matter... cuz here we are!

Yes, and "we" will be here again if we don't change attitudes and really honest-to-God stop believing that strict rules can be followed endlessly just like that. You were sleeved only a few months ago and I guess that still means "honeymoon". Lets talk again about following rules imposed by other people (surgeons/nutritionists/studies) 5 years down the road.

And if you should think "therapy" now - maybe you would be surprised what eating disorder therapists have to say about these "rules".

[Berry78 4,261]

If an average, sedentary, female eats 2500 calories every day, she'll gain weight.

I'm only 8 months postop and could easily consume 1800 calories a day (eating real, whole food..not even junk!). I may not gain much, but I sure wouldn't lose. In another year I'd be able to eat 2500, and then I'd be seeing regain like gangbusters.

Yup. I'll have to follow rules to keep my calories where they'll need to be. (How many calories? I'll find out when I check my metabolic rate when I get to goal... I'll get a dexa scan or something like that).

[Berry78 4,261]

Yup, still in the honeymoon. Tru dat.

[Berry78 4,261]

I'm sorry if my post came across as harsh. I really just meant that it boils down to calories. Bella can use more calories than some of us, but if her appetite increases above caloric needs, then regain could happen to her too.

Preop, "satisfied" ALWAYS came too late for me.

[bellabloom 2,467]

If an average, sedentary, female eats 2500 calories every day, she'll gain weight.
I'm only 8 months postop and could easily consume 1800 calories a day (eating real, whole food..not even junk!). I may not gain much, but I sure wouldn't lose. In another year I'd be able to eat 2500, and then I'd be seeing regain like gangbusters.
Yup. I'll have to follow rules to keep my calories where they'll need to be. (How many calories? I'll find out when I check my metabolic rate when I get to goal... I'll get a dexa scan or something like that).

Here the thing though. I don’t agree with this anymore. I was raised by a dieter, dieting. I was taught calories in calories out. Calories = weight gain. That’s what got me fat!! Trying to restrict my calories, failing, Binging, gaining more than before the diet, screwing my metabolism. There is no way I could be happy on less calories than my body is hungry for.

When I went to eating disorder treatment I was taught that more calories doesn’t equal weight gain if you are eating for your respective metabolism, which is what I do. If you had told me I could maintain my weight averaging 2500 calories I would have said you were crazy. But now I believe differently because I’m living it.

I don’t know exactly how many calories I eat a day because I don’t track, and yes I am active. I don’t work out but i do stay on the move. But I do tally my calories up once in awhile and I believe I average around 2500. I gained weight from my lowest and then it stopped. I maintain where I am easily now- except when I don’t make sure and eat enough (which can be hard sometimes given my physical restrictions from surgery), and then I lose weight, which i do not want.

My belief is that my metabolism is restored and my body is able to handle the calories. If I had eaten this much when I was dieting back in the day, I would have gained weight because weight gain is the result of a poorly functioning metabolism due to dieting cycles.

For women 2500 calories is a reasonable amount of food that is a full and satisfied life. It may not mean super thin but it can equal a nice maintainable set point weight.

I know this isn’t for everyone and I’m challenging a lot of beliefs here. I’m sharing my knowledge of what works for me.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I'm sorry if my post came across as harsh. I really just meant that it boils down to calories. Bella can use more calories than some of us, but if her appetite increases above caloric needs, then regain could happen to her too.

Preop, "satisfied" ALWAYS came too late for me.

I agree it possible some gain could happen to me down the line.. but the essential thing is I’m leaving that up to my body. I won’t diet again because I’ve decided to allow my body to regulate my weight and not try and interfere. Dieting was making me terminally unhappy no matter how thin I became.

I have accepted I may gain weight but I know I will love myself regardless and still be healthy because the weight gain won’t be from binging, dieting, or food obsession. It won’t be from eating things I don’t want or don’t make me feel good. It won’t be from eating things only because I feel like I shouldn’t eat them. If I gain weight I will embrace my new body and love myself.

your post was fine. Thanks for the thoughts.

[Berry78 4,261]

I'm glad you've found what works for you, Bella. That is the hardest part for all of us.

I think there USED to be rules that everyone followed. Society-wide. Not so long ago, there was no such thing as "fast" food or Breakfast Cereal (maybe oatmeal). There wasn't television or computers. Kids walked to school. People didn't eat pints of ice cream after a bad break-up. Bags of potato chips, gone in an evening...

Nope, 3 meals, and maybe an afternoon snack. Kids after school might have gotten two homemade Cookies and a glass of milk.

I don't make rules for how my kids eat. My (physically grown) teenage daughter can eat a bowl of cereal, a ham sandwich, and half a box (maybe a whole box) of macaroni and cheese as an afternoon snack. Yes, she's crossed over the line into obese.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

@Berry78 Your daughter sounds stressed out, if she comes home and daily eats that something besides true hunger is driving that. She is making food a 'friend' .

You don't make rules, but as an adult you can control what food comes in the house, gradually stop buying mac n cheese - maybe put out a bowl of fruit, have yogurts w Cereal sprinkled on top? Just suggestions.

[Berry78 4,261]

I think my daughter is reacting to white flour. It doesn't look like stress eating.. I think it's true, unending hunger (cuz I did the same thing). At school they have pastries for Breakfast and pizza for lunch. All this white flour is knocking her for a loop.

I keep trying to rid the house of this stuff.. it's a process... we have a fruit bowl out all the time, in the fridge is milk and cheese and salad stuff. Freezer is full of bagged veggies and frozen fish. Cupboard has tons of canned Beans and Soup and fruits and veggies. But, if there is a box of mac and cheese.. that's what gets eaten. Sigh.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

You could be right about the carb craving driving a lot of it. Teenagers aren't very cooperative about taking a lunch from home either, they don't want to look different from everyone else.

I was just reading something interesting about commercial bread and digestion of bread. I don't remember the site, but the take away was that the process now doesn't allow for proper fermentation of the yeasts and that messes up the gut. When true yeasts were kept going via starters, and real grains were used bread was digestible.

[Berry78 4,261]

Awesome! I'll see what I can turn up, thanks!

[Maggie1955 158]

I'm 13 months out and about 15 pounds from my goal.
I drink flavored no calorie seltzer periodically.
I drink wine/bourbon/vodka perdiodically
I eat a bite of cake/sweets/chocolate/ice cream occasionally
I Eat bread occasionally
I live a normal life.
I've been drinking caffeine (with the blessing of my team) from the first day after surgery. It ensures that no felonies are committed.

Good to know that I won’t have to give up caffeine!

[summerset 5,265]

On 22.11.2017 at 1:44 PM, Sosewsue61 said:

I was just reading something interesting about commercial bread and digestion of bread. I don't remember the site, but the take away was that the process now doesn't allow for proper fermentation of the yeasts and that messes up the gut. When true yeasts were kept going via starters, and real grains were used bread was digestible.

Makes me wonder what kind of stuff is usually sold as "bread" in the US.

[jess9395 5,449]

Makes me wonder what kind of stuff is usually sold as "bread" in the US.

TOTALLY! I haven't eaten bread in four years, but for my teen and husband I only typically buy a particular brand of sourdough that has no additives and is baked from starter that's been going for decades. REAL bread with no added sugar or corn Syrup either.