Am I the only one who gets annoyed by the question Why?

[StephersSweet 78]

Seriously though, any time you venture into the subject of WLS surgery and someone asks you why? I just get annoyed by it at this point. So I tell them I'm morbidly obese which leads to the "why don't you go to the gym, why don't you try this new diet, why would you want to do something so crazy when there are better ways to lose weight it just takes hard work?" Then I tell them about all the fad diet programs I've tried, that I go to the gym 4 times a week 1.5 hour each time alternation on strength training and cardio, which leads to more Why questions. Honestly I'm really tired of the why question, I'm all for educating the people around me but 9/10 times there questioning not because they care or want to know but because they think I'm taking the "easy way out", and that really irritates me.

So is anyone else out there sick and tired of explaining themselves?

[Waler 330]

when someone gives me the your taking the easy way out attitude that is when I laugh at them and inform them that is they think it is an easy way out they are sadly misinformed. It is a tool nothing more, it is not a magic fix or a cure all, you still have a lot of work to do. that usually shut them up because by then they realize how ill informed they really are.

[StephersSweet 78]

@Waler Yeah I try to explain it that way to them and for some reason it still always leads to an argument and more questions that just end up hurting my head. I feel like half the hard work is just dealing with the haters haha.

[Introversion 1,876]

1 hour ago, StephersSweet said:

So is anyone else out there sick and tired of explaining themselves?

I never had to explain myself because I told no one about WLS except for a select handful of persons who would support me.

Personal boundaries are golden. You owe nobody an explanation, nor do you need to defend your choice to undergo surgery.

[StephersSweet 78]

@Introversion I guess I don't want to hide the fact that I'm doing it. I want people to stop shaming for people for using WLS as a tool for success rather than continuing to call it the easy way out.

[Michelle'sgarden 34]

I agree that it's exhausting explaining yourself and we owe no one an explanation. I usually say I'm working on my weight and if the conversation continues, then I might say I had vsg surgery so far no one I've talked to has reacted negatively. Everyone I've spoken to has been really supportive and the larger people want to learn more about it. Since I'm a teacher I have no problem with teaching people the facts .

[ThickGirl5683 318]

I never had to explain myself because I told no one about WLS except for a select handful of persons who would support me.
Personal boundaries are golden. You owe nobody an explanation, nor do you need to defend your choice to undergo surgery.

AMEN!!!! I'm with you... I only told my mom and my husband. People are now saying " what did you do to lose all that weight" and I simply tell them I've cut out alot of foods... Some of them even have the nerve to ask if I had surgery and I just chuckle and say "I would"... lol

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[Bhageerah 161]

I am SO glad that you posted this, if we were neighbors I would give you one heck of a bear hug! I am one that did not tell everyone that I know, I told all of my family that was extremely supportive and a few people at work but not too many! There are three forms of communication, telephone, tell a friend and tell a firefighter! Not being one to have everyone in my business I kept it to down to a couple of people that I can trust at work. A few asked why, and did the same thing about working out and changing your eating habits (we all know the drill). Best friend told me about his sister in law in Brazil that recently had WLS surgery and was regretting it. Tried selling me on a diet that he was on where they limit themselves to minimal calories for two days out of the week and can gorge themselves the other five days. I have no desire to go that way because we all know the road that we go down when we do such things. Rather than be supportive he was actually offensive, we have known each other for over 30 years and I was not happy. I did not say a word but I have a feeling that his wife gave him a ear full because the next day he had changed his tone and was very supportive. I have heard the"Why" question too many times already and it has only been a month to the day. I am past tired of hearing it and know that it is a question that will continue if I continue to inform people of my choice. I am already sick of telling folks about my genetics (most in my family from uncles and cousins on up are WELL above 450lbs) , both of my parents had health issues related to their weight and so do I. I have tried QUITE a few diets and realize that they do not work and it is a matter of lifestyle change. This surgery was a tool for me to use to get healthier and know that what I am doing is adding years, and not just years but quality years onto my life! I am proud of my decision but I do not plan on saying much to many more people as to "why" because I am over answering it especially when those that usually ask it do not have the issues that we have.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I never told people, so I never had to hear their dumb ass questions.

I don't believe in borrowing trouble and talking about weight loss surgery to an in general ignorant and uneducated population is just inviting trouble.

[PrayingForWeightLoss 337]

This is the reason I only told my husband and no one else. Some people are so judgemental. I worked with someone who had bariatric surveys way before I did and saw how she was treated and talked about. I learned my lesson then.

[DisplacedYankee 27]

My mother had the sleeve a year ago. To be honest I was not super supportive at the time. After seeing how well she has done on it I am getting my sleeve on Tuesday. I regret not being more supportive at the time. Because of that the only people who know I am getting the sleeve is my mom, sister, husband and best friend. I am thankful that they are all but my sister are supportive. I also have a feeling my sister will next in line for the sleeve.

Your reasons for doing this are your own and no one needs to know.

[Danny Paul 761]

Told a total of five people. When people asked when I returned to work after 2 weeks and down 20lbs I said I had a stomach virus while on vacation and that I'm still on anti biotics. (The reason for my limited diet) So far it seems to have worked.

[karen_marie 220]

Yeah I'm not super thrilled about the 'why' questions I'll probably get when I let a few of my family members know this weekend. My mom and sister have known the whole time, and I know that my dad, step mom, and in-laws will be supportive no matter what. But I know they'll want to ask those 'why' questions.

I think I'm just go to frame the conversation in a way that I'm just letting them know because I'll be under anesthesia for the surgery, and I also don't want them to worry about the rapid weight loss that will occur for awhile. We had an issue in the past with my dad having surgery on his lungs and not telling us kids until MONTHS AFTERWARDs...we were NOT amused, since his health is not that great and things could have gone south on the operating table. So I'm telling them because 1) I want to extend the courtesy that I didn't get from my dad, and 2) we're a very open family and are supportive when we share things.

I've only mentioned to my boss and one or two other people at work that I have to be out for 'abdominal surgery,' which is accurate, but I don't have any intention of telling them what I specifically had. Maybe down the road but no plans to do it now.

[SlieveMishAmy 42]

I am going to be very open in the hope that it helps others. My surgeon had operated on THREE people I knew with great results. And if I hadn't observed them I might never have researched it. I hate when people say "you didn't need to do that" and I tell them that once you have gone over a certain BMI you only have a 1 or 2 % chance of losing the weight and keeping it off. It's very new science and I'm delighted to talk about it.

[Half-Tum 404]

Anyone who thinks getting half your stomach cut off and pulled out a hole above your belly button and then be told "now get used to eating like that" is EASY can kiss my once fatter ass.

Edited September 22, 2017 by Half-Tum